the letter in noelle's hands had the potential to be the best or worst thing to happen to her.

little did her parents know, she had applied for the university of brooklyn near the beginning of senior year. having brought up the subject of applying to that school before, noelle knew of her dad's distaste for it. he said it wasn't 'good enough' for their standards and her mother simply agreed.

still, she disregarded all the things they said about the school and did research of her own. noelle found that their english program was renowned for being extremely talented and their campus was absolutely beautiful. that was all it took to convince her that this school was - in fact - the one she wanted to attend.

it'd been a long few months of waiting, but she finally got the letter and now that it was in her hands, she finally felt that trickle of fear.

what if they didn't accept her? what if the sneaky application had been for nothing?

but there was also another voice in her mind reminding her that there was a chance that she could be accepted, and would therefore be able to be with luke again.

of course, that voice overruled the other and she forced herself to open the envelope.

miss devereaux,

congratulations! we are pleased to welcome you into the university of brooklyn. we request that you come to campus as soon as possible in order to attend an early freshman orientation over summer break. it is-

she didn't even bother to read the letter because all she needed to know was right there in black script in front of her. everything in her life seemed to finally be falling into place and at that point she felt practically unstoppable.

not to mention, with graduation looming only two weeks away, she knew that she'd be seeing luke way sooner than she'd expected. the only thing left to do now was to convince her parents to actually let her go.

-

the next day she entered the kitchen, sitting down at the table with her parents. they looked up at her from the documents they were filling out and she offered a sheepish smile.

"is everything alright?" her dad questioned, curious as to why his daughter was so happy all of a sudden.

"i got an acceptance letter from a college yesterday," she announced through a breathless laugh.

"that's great, sweetie," he replied as her mother's face brightened. "which college?"

noelle bit her lip, "brooklyn university."

"what?" his hands slammed down on the table, causing the two women in the room to flinch. "you didn't even apply!"

"i-i actually did," she admitted fearfully. "earlier in the school year. i just barely made the deadline."

"noelle," her mother scolded. "you know that we don't want you going there."

"i know but-"

"but nothing! how could you be so selfish? why wouldn't you tell us about this?" her dad cut her off angrily.

"because i knew you'd react like this," noelle eyed him pleadingly. "dad, please just hear me out. i moved here with you guys even though i could've definitely found a way to stay in queensdale. the least you could do is let me go to this school."

"i just don't understand why," he seemed to cool down as he rubbed his face. "what made you decide to do this?"

"i left something that i love in brooklyn. i guess i just want him-" she stumbled over the word to fix it, "-i mean, it back."

the two adults shared a look, then gazed back at their daughter who looked more alive than she had since summer had finished. 

"you're visiting every holiday, you understand?" her mother basically conceded.

noelle jumped out of her chair excitedly and looked at her dad for confirmation. he smiled sadly as he nodded, which led to her releasing the loudest squeal she'd ever made.

"thank you guys," she walked around the table to hug them individually in their chairs. "and i know it hasn't seemed like it lately, but i do love you. i just...i'm my own person now and it feels good."

"we're so proud of you," the older woman was wiping tears out of her eyes as her husband patted her back. "we just want you to be happy."

"aw, mom. don't cry," she pulled her mother to her feet and hugged her more firmly. 

her dad stood as well and joined the hug, holding the two ladies in his arms gently. noelle didn't realize it until then, but this was all she ever wanted from them. to be accepted for the person she'd grown up to be.

she just wished it could've happened earlier.

-

her parents decided that noelle would leave for brooklyn a month after graduation.

although, the letter specified that the early admissions program that she had been admitted into began a few weeks before the school year actually started, so it turns out that she'd be in brooklyn way too early. not that her parents would know this, of course.

noelle had created this plan as a way to see luke earlier and have time to spend with him before she had to start uni. but it would only work if the two actually made up and/or found closure.

"you're a sneaky sneaky little girl, aren't you?" calum's voice was teasing as she held the phone to her ear.

she had started talking to him again after her parents had accepted her choice of college. needless to say, he'd been surprised, but he was relieved to hear from her directly and he gladly filled her in on how luke was doing. 

"this is the last time i'm going to lie to my parents, i swear," she laughed. "plus, don't you want to see me sooner?"

"of course," he hummed. "there's also a certain someone i'm sure would be just as eager to see you if he actually knew about you coming here."

"i can't tell luke yet," she sighed, stuffing more of her clothes into her suitcase. "you know why i can't."

"just because you haven't talked to him since you two confessed your undying love for each other does not give you the right to withhold this information from him," calum scolded and she slumped backwards against her bed tiredly.

"what if that night was an accident? what if he didn't really mean what he said?"

"he meant it, and you know it. you're just in denial."

"we don't know that for sure, cal. it was three in the morning," noelle shrugged even though he couldn't see her. "he could've been delusional or half-asleep."

"for such a smart girl, you're an idiot," he chuckled at her skepticism. "the guy loves you, alright? these past few months that we've been friends, all he's ever done is bum around because he misses you."

"i thought you said he was doing better?" she questioned, shifting in her position on the floor. 

"and by better, i mean he's bumming around slightly less than before."

her lips upturned in a smile and soon after, she heard the faint sound of her mother calling her downstairs for dinner.

"i gotta go," noelle said with a sigh. "thanks for everything. i'll talk to you later."

"bye, ellie," calum was grinning, she could tell by his voice. "please tell luke that you're coming. he needs to know that he's not waiting for nothing."

"alright, i'll call him after i eat. promise."

-

she didn't actually call him until the afternoon before she left for brooklyn.

it was stupid to wait so long, she knew. noelle spent day after day staring at the call button next to luke's name, but she couldn't bring herself to press it. 

why was she so worried? calum was right, luke would be ecstatic to hear that she was going to be living there for university. so why did she get the feeling that something would go wrong?

once she had managed to force the feeling away, she listened to each ring of the phone surely, hoping and waiting for the voice she'd been dying to hear for so long.

what she got was not that voice. and it broke her heart.

"hello?"

a girl was speaking into luke's phone and all of noelle's confidence seemed to seep out of her body.

"u-um hi," she managed to choke out. "who is t-this?"

"i'm marie," the other girl replied slowly. "luke's in the bathroom right now, do you want to stay on the line and wait?"

noelle's mouth was opened, but no sound was coming out. her heart seemed to have stopped and her breathing was shallow, as if she were being held underwater with no way to get oxygen.

she could hear shuffling and soft muttering on the other end of the line before luke's voice finally emitted from the speaker.

"noelle? is that you?"

that's when she knew that she couldn't do it. she couldn't talk to him without unravelling completely. not when all she could think about was some other girl being there with him when it should've been her by his side.

"i-i'm sorry," was all she could say before she hung up and shoved her phone under her pillow.

+

yikes man it's been a while

NOELLE'S GOING TO BROOKLYN CAN I GET A HELL YEAH WOOO but marie answered the phone awkward aw poor noelle bby

QUESTION OF THE DAY: how were your christmas'? and if you don't celebrate christmas, what'd you do / what do you celebrate?