he hates her.

he hates her.

noelle's bloodshot eyes were glued to the pitch black ceiling above her. sleep wasn't an option, although calum had told her it would help if she got even a little.

sleep wouldn't fix what went wrong with luke. it wouldn't take her back in time so she could stop being so goddamn inconsistent and just love the boy to the best of her ability. it wouldn't take back the fact that she'd driven him away.

she never would've guessed that being so close to him - just a few miles away - would make her feel so much farther. by coming to brooklyn, noelle had hoped to mend their broken relationship, but now she realized that it was too late for that.

everything was much worse than 'broken'. everything was unfixable.

it wasn't until she felt part of the bed deflate that she realized someone had entered the room and was sitting near her. she jolted into a sitting position and leaned back against her palms.

"so you are awake," calum mused quietly, swinging his legs onto the mattress.

her eyebrows furrowed, "what are you doing here? it's nearly two in the morning, you should be sleeping."

"you should be too," he countered. "talk to me, ellie. i don't know much, but i know you're hurting."

"i should've done something earlier," she bit her lip. "this is all my fault. the miles didn't separate us, i did. i made him feel like he meant nothing when in reality he meant everything."

"then tell him that. scream it to the heavens if you have to. don't let this end without him knowing."

"i doubt he'll believe me. he's probably angry enough that he won't listen to anything."

noelle barely made out his shrug, "you never know unless you try."

"trying is scary," her voice broke and she hugged her knees to her chest.

silence filled the void between the two, though there was a lack of tension in the air that eased the muscles in her shoulders.

"how did it feel?" he asked suddenly.

"how did what feel?"

"finding luke on the roof. being with him."

a multitude of words and emotions flooded her, but she could only utter a few simple words.

"it felt like watching the sun rise."

a warmth spread across her forehead as calum ghosted his lips against the skin carefully before heading towards the door.

"my advice? keep watching."

then he exited the room, leaving her with a much heavier mind than before.

-

despite their deep conversation just hours previous, calum was strangely normal when she saw him again in the morning. he greeted her cheerfully and talked to her throughout the entirety of breakfast without even mentioning a thing about their exchange.

"we have a guest coming to see you, by the way," he announced after putting away dishes and plopping down next to her on the couch.

"is it—"

"no," came the abrupt response. "it's someone else. but i think you'll be happy to see him."

"if you say so," she muttered skeptically.

an hour or two later of mind numbing television, the doorbell rang and calum went to answer the door. noelle twisted her torso to watch him open the door and the corners of her lips turned upwards when she saw the person standing on the other side.

"noelle!" ashton called out, brushing past the other boy and hugging the visitor tightly. "welcome back."

"thank you," she hummed into his shoulder only to step out of his arms a second later. "it's good to see you again, ash."

"yeah, thanks for the warm greeting," calum sneered jokingly as he approached the pair with crossed arms. "not even a hello. i'm wounded."

"what a sissy. i saw him two days ago," hazel eyes rolled. "this one's not giving you any trouble is he?"

a short burst of laughter escaped the female's lips, "not at all. he's been surprisingly hospitable."

"surprisingly?" the ravenette protested. "after all i've done for the both of you, this is the thanks i get. incredible."

"you have yet to do anything for me, but nice try," ashton poked at him cheekily. "how was your first night, college girl?"

noelle involuntarily stiffened and it didn't go unnoticed by the two standing in front of her. "i-it was, uh, fine."

"fine," the curly headed boy repeated skeptically.

"i mean it would've been better if...nevermind," she trailed off, rubbing the back of her neck.

"does she know?" a glance was spared at calum, who nodded. "i'm so sorry, elle. you weren't supposed to find out like this."

"don't apologize," the sudden prickly feeling behind her eyes made her look down at her feet. "there wasn't anything you could do."

she knew that there were sympathetic stares aimed at her, yet she refused to acknowledge them as she walked briskly to the front door despite their protests.

"i need some air," she mumbled before leaving the house and stepping one foot after another down the sidewalk.

it was so easy, noelle figured. to run from her problems. at that point it was more of a reflex than an option, not that it was necessarily a good thing. nothing in her life would be solved at this rate, so she made a choice.

two days, she decided.

she would give herself two days to figure out what she was going to say to luke before she confronted him. maybe less if she was really feeling up to it. she assumed that by putting a time limit on her brooding thoughts, it would be easier for her to suck it up and face life.

well that was until she finally looked up and saw a familiar mop of quiffed blonde hair. her steps slowed to a stop and it seemed like someone had hit her hard in the chest, successfully depriving her of oxygen.

he clearly hadn't seen her yet, judging by the way his stature remained calm. noelle felt like a total idiot just standing there watching him walk in her direction like he was some kind of celebrity, but she was at a loss of what to do.

he finally noticed her once he was about an arm's length away. stumbling on his own feet, blue eyes grew wide as he tried to regain balance without making any type of contact with her.

"hey luke," she greeted him the way one would greet an acquaintance. quietly and uncomfortably.

"hi," he forced a smile onto his face, notably taking a small step away from her. "calum and ashton didn't come with you?"

"no, they're back at the house."

"i see. i was just on my way over there, actually."

"what for?"

he fiddled with his lip ring exactly the way she remembered and it took everything in her not to kiss him then and there.

"i had to talk to them before i went to see marie," luke's voice faltered over the female's name, but his stoic expression didn't change despite the clearly crestfallen look in noelle's eye.

"don't let me stop you or anything," she faked a nonchalant grin. "go on ahead. i'll just figure out my way around this town."

"sure," he waved. "sorry about all this. i totally forgot you would be here. see you later, then?"

all her nerves went numb at his uncaring words and she could only force three words out of her mouth as she continued on.

"i hope not."

+

this is one of the worst things i've ever written i'm sorry

it's just so hard bc i jUST WANT THESE TWO TO BE HAPPY BUT AS AN AUTHOR I CANNOT DO THAT JUST YET

also the song at the top reminds me of luke and noelle so yeah listen to that

SO ANYWAYS!! QUESTION OF THE DAY: if you could do anything (legal or not) in the world without any consequences, what would you do?