Only two and a half weeks after he and Cas met, Dean knew he'd found the one. They'd meet at the mall almost every day in the food court, and they'd just talk. They'd have heart to heart talks for hours, laughing like a couple of teenage girls. One day, Dean decided it was time to confess his true feelings. Sure he didn't know how Cas would respond, but it's not like he had all the time in the world.

He was getting ready to go that Sunday afternoon, feeling the excitement course through him like a rollercoaster. Sam had known how Dean felt for Cas, and when he saw his brother nervously getting ready, he knew what was up. "You're finally gonna ask him out, aren't you?"

Dean glanced at him as he held two shirts up in front of the mirror, deciding on which one to wear. "Maybe."

"'Maybe' my ass. You're totally gonna ask him out. It's about time."

"Sam, we've only known each other for like two weeks. Cool your jets, kiddo."

He rolled his eyes. "It's been two and a half weeks, and I've known it from the start."

"Yeah right. Hey, which one looks better?" He was still waffling between the two shirts. One was dark red and black plaid and the other was light blue and white plaid.

Sam shrugged. "I dunno. They're both plaid."

"Should I just wear one of these or wear a shirt underneath and go with layers?"

"Dude, it's July. I wouldn't go out and have heat stroke just yet."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever, I'll just go with the red one."

Sam decided to mess with his head. "Really? The red one? You gonna ask him out to dinner or to go on tour with you with your wannabe band?"

Dean shot him an unamused look. "Sam, that's not funny."

"Just saying, it's all about the apparel these days."

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever, I'll wear the blue one then."

"Oh. Yeah, whatever floats your boat."

Dean was still unamused. "Sam, I swear to all that is good and holy-"

"Let me stop you right there." He went to Dean's closet, looking for a shirt. "Wow, there's a lot of plaid in here."

"Don't judge me. It'll all be passed down to you eventually. Just keep that in mind."

Sam soon found a shirt; dark blue and red plaid. "Here. So you don't look like a hoodlum."

Dean rolled his eyes, taking the shirt. "Thanks. Now get out of here." He ruffled Sam's hair, who pushed his hand away and tried to fix it, leaving the room.

He put the shirt on, going to the mall. Once he got to the food court, he texted Cas asking if he was there yet. He soon got a reply; he was at the Panda Express. He suddenly got that nervous feeling at the pit of his stomach. He wasn't sure if he could do this. He took a calming breath, heading to the Panda Express to look for Cas.

He found him sitting at a table. Apparently, he'd already gotten their food. He'd gotten Dean the Kung Pao chicken and rice, his favorite. "You know me so well," Dean grinned, sitting across from him.

Cas returned the smile, the smile that Dean loved so much. He was so nervous, but he knew how much he cared for Cas. He just had to do it. But what if Cas didn't feel the same way? What if he laughed at him? What if he hated him? Maybe he wasn't even gay, maybe he hated gay people, maybe he was the biggest homophobe ever. He had to stop thinking of maybes, but he couldn't help it. He was just so nervous. Maybe he could figure out where Cas stood as far as the LGBT+ community. Somehow.

He thought for a moment, and thought of something. "So... uh, yesterday, my, uh, my cousin from out of town, he, uh, he came out as gay. That was, uh, pretty cool. I love it, and, y'know, gay people. They're the best, aren't they?" He wondered if this was a good way of going about it.

Cas seemed taken aback by Dean's choice of words, but went with it. "Yeah, that's pretty cool. Are his parents cool with it?"

"Yeah, yeah, they're cool. Who wouldn't be cool with gay people, y'know?" He chuckled nervously.

"Um... probably homophobes. I mean, that's just my guess. Why the sudden interest in... gay people?"

Dean thought of how to word this one. "Well... I mean, the whole... gay thing is a pretty big topic right now, in the world. Y'know? I mean, there's a lot of gay people. There could be an extremely gay person in this mall right now, and we'd have no idea. It could be someone in this very food court. It could be you, it could be... me."

Cas looked at him very suspiciously. "Yeah. That's... true, I guess. Dean... are you... just out of curiosity here, but are you gay?"

Dean played it cool. "Well, now that you mention it, bi the way, I'm - I'm bisexual." Nailed it.

Cas smiled at the pun. "Oh." He cleared his throat. "Well... since the subject is... cooking, I should tell you that I'm pan." He realized how awful that sounded. "Um I apologize for that pun, I was just trying to go along with what you were doing."

Dean smiled, amused by the attempt. "A for effort. So... um..." he was still nervous, not sure how Cas would take his asking him out. At least now he knew they were both gay. "Well, I um... I was wondering... um... since we're both, y'know, gay, if um... you and I could... well, um..." he took a deep breath. "Go out sometime?"

Cas looked shocked to say the least. He was rendered silent, and went pale. Dean knew what this meant. "Or - or not. I mean... I was just... wondering-"

"Dean," Cas cut him off. "I...." He couldn't finish his sentence before getting up and hiding in the bathroom close to the food court. Dean thought this could have multiple meanings, but he immediately went to the worst case scenario. He should've known better than to think that Cas was even remotely interested in him that way.

~

Dean felt like such an idiot. He always got worked up over these things, and today he'd simply had enough. He just wanted Cas to be happy, was that so much to ask?

He sat in the den, trying to think things over. Cas was right; he had no reason to be mad. But he was mad nonetheless. He couldn't help it. He was trying to help Cas, but when he goes and... it feels like a wasted effort. It felt like they were back at square one. And that was frustrating for Dean.

Sam came in and sat beside him. "What's going on?" He asked.

Dean simply shook his head. "You wouldn't understand, Sammy."

"Try me. It's you and Cas, isn't it?"

Reluctantly, he nodded, letting out a sigh. "It's just a stupid fight. Don't worry about it."

But Sam remained persistent. "If it's so stupid, why not go and forgive him?"

"It's more complicated than that, Sam."

"How so?"

Dean sighed at his brother's nosiness. "Because he's not the only one at fault here."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "What'd you do now?"

Dean didn't think it'd be a good idea to tell him everything. He was too young to understand. "You wouldn't get it. It's grownup stuff."

"Well you're not a grownup either," Sam shot back sassily.

He scoffed. "Yeah, well, I'm more grown up than you are."

"Whatever. So... give me the basics. What happened, as vaguely as possible?"

"Alright. Shit happened. The end."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Dean," he groaned. "That helps no one."

"You're the one who said 'as vague as possible'."

"Not that vague!"

He sighed defeatedly. "Yeah, yeah. Well, Cas is doing... some bad stuff. And... he has no control over it. I've been trying to help him out, trying to get him to stop, but honestly, I doubt he can. This... thing; it's addictive. Or that's how he describes it. I just... I wish I knew some surefire way to... help him give it up once and for all."

Sam took all this in, and decided to go with it. "Have you tried talking to him about it?"

"Yeah, but he never wants to talk. He bottles up his emotions and I can't stand it."

He thought for a moment. "It's probably a self defense mechanism. He keeps his emotions inside because it makes him feel secure."

Dean was surprised by his therapist-like take on the situation. "Okay, Doctor Freud. Since when are you my therapist?"

"Well I'm thinking about that as a career option."

"I thought you wanted to be a magician? Or a fireman? Or a Broadway star?"

"Hey, man, I'm a wild stallion that can't be tamed."

"More like a rodeo clown," Dean grinned.

"Dude, let's not talk about clowns, okay?"

Dean chuckled, remembering Sam's phobia. "Okay, fair enough. Do you think I should talk to him?"

"I'd give him some time to cool off. Probably needs to be by himself for a bit."

Dean nodded. "Yeah. Probably. Thanks, Sammy."

"No problem. Y'know, counselors get paid for their sessions," he grinned.

"You're pushing it."

"Sorry." He went to his room, leaving Dean to his thoughts.

He wondered what Cas was thinking. Was he mad? Would he forgive him? He didn't want to be mad at him, but he didn't want him to cut himself either. It hurt to see him hurt.

He decided to look at Cas's snapchat story for the millionth time. He'd downloaded the app the day before and decided to try it out. The first picture was him taking an awkward selfie, captioned "wait how do you use filters? #nofilter". The next one featured him with the dog filter captioned "never mind I figured it out #lol". The next one was him and Dean with the same filter. It said "#bae" with the blue heart and green heart emojis. He used those for pictures of them together; it matches their eyes.

The next one Dean had saved into his phone; he and Cas kissing in his bedroom, captioned "so glad no one I know irl follows me lol" with the heart emojis. Dean remembered taking that picture. He was worried that someone would find it and word would get out that he and Cas were together. It's been in his story for fourteen hours now and no one's said anything, so it would appear that they've dodged a bullet.

The next one was Cas with the demon eye filter captioned "woah I like this one #fearme" with the purple evil emoji face. Dean laughed at how he tried to look intimidating, but failed and actually looked very cute. Then again, Cas always seemed to look cute. The next filter he used was the flower crown filter. He was looking toward the ceiling with a kiss-face, captioned "#kawaii".

There was a more recent one that he hadn't seen before. It was just an awkward selfie of him looking off dramatically, sitting out on the porch, captioned "just had another fight with bae" with the single tear emoji. It was followed by another, "wonder if he's still mad (even tho he's rlly not the one who should be mad tbh)". There was one more, with Cas looking directly into the camera, "Dean, you're my boyfriend and ily, but we've gotta stop fucking fighting".

Dean knew he had to talk to Cas. He got up and, after taking a relaxing breath, opened the front door. He saw Cas there, his earbuds in. He must've been listening to music. Dean took some more deep breaths, because the first one honestly didn't do much of anything for him. He went up to him, gently tapping him on the shoulder. He jumped a little out of surprise, whirling around to see Dean. "I'm sorry," Dean blurted, a bit anxious about what Cas would say.

He removed one earbud. "What?"

Dean took one last relaxing breath. "Cas, I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to get pissed off. I just get overprotective and I stop thinking clearly. Forgive me?"

He sighed. "Dean, I hope you're not saying this just to get back on my good side. I want you to mean it."

"Of course I mean it." He got on his knees so he and Cas were at eye level. "Cas, I love you. I'll always love you. I... I'm no good with words, but... Cas, you mean everything to me. I wish I could... solve all your problems, make the sadness and the bad stuff go away, but I can't. The best I can do is be there for you, and that's exactly what I'm gonna do. So... when you have a problem, I'll be there to help you as best I can. When you need a shoulder to lean on, you know I'll be there, shoulder and all. I'll never leave you, I'll never hurt you, and I will never, ever give up on you. I know they're just words, but I mean every single one of them. So... do you think that you could... find it in your heart to forgive me?"

Cas was speechless. He'd never heard anything so sweet before. He turned all the way around, kissing Dean's lips. When they parted, he smiled. "Of course I do, you perfect idiot."

(A/N: so I'm thinking maybe I could have a question of the day. Yeah, I like the idea.

So, QOTD: who's your favorite SPN character?

AOTD: Castiel 😍)