I can't sleep.

Even with Evan sleeping beside me, the steady rhythm of his breathing in my ear, which should have comforted me enough to lull me to dreamland, held no peace. My mind is racing, my heart clenching, as the silent screams of terror seize my consciousness and I can't shake it from me.

As I lie there in the dark, I wish my mama was there to tell me everything is just some bad dream that I will wake up from. How is this real? How is this happening to me? I can't be a shifter like them. It's not possible. Mama's not a shifter, is she?

I don't want to hear it from anyone else. I want to hear it from her, but she's not here and can't tell me anything. Does she even know? No, she'd tell me, wouldn't she?

The darkness in the room slowly lifts with the rising of the sun. I slip out of the bed and tiptoe to the front door of the cabin, where I sit down on the top step of the porch and stare at the heavens, watching the stars fade as the sky lightens. With the sun peeking over the tip of a mountain in the east, I hear a rustle of movement behind me.

"There you are," Evan says as he steps out of the cabin and sits down next to me. "I was wondering where you were."

In my hand is a twig I found next to the steps of the porch. With each passing minute that I sat there, I slowly began to peel away the bark. My eyes are downcast on the twig as he settles in next to me. I can feel him studying me, and I can't bring myself to look at him. I know he'll be able to read me like an open book. I don't need a mirror to tell me that I look terrible. I feel terrible-rotten even. Looking at Evan would just make me feel worse.

He brushes a dreadlock behind my ear so he can take a better look at my face. "You okay?"

I don't trust myself to lie, so I just shake my head slowly. I don't want to admit that I'm scared, so I hold my tongue and chew on my bottom lip. My nails continue to pick away at the twig, peeling the last strip of bark from its surface.

He reaches over and touches my cheek, turning my face toward him. I overt my gaze, afraid that my eyes will betray me.

"What's wrong?"

When I say nothing and won't even look at him, he sighs. "Zara, talk to me. Please."

I hesitate. "What is there to say?"

"How about you start with what's eating you?"

I purse my lips and shake my head. I can't do it. I can't tell him that I don't want to be one of them, or that I just want to go back home and forget this whole thing ever happened. What would he say? "I don't want to go there."

He pulls away and I can't help but cringe when I hear a low growl rumble from his throat. He gets to his feet and goes back into the cabin without another word.

My heart thuds against my ribs. Why is he upset?

I close my eyes and exhale the breath I had been holding. I don't know why he's suddenly angry, but I'll let him be angry. I have enough on my mind that I don't need him taking up space as well.

If he thinks it's that easy to accept being a shifter, then he's got rocks in his head! I can't just accept it and pretend like it's no big deal. This changes everything. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know who I can talk to about this, or who I can trust with this secret. I don't know if my parents know, and if they did, why they didn't fill me in on it in the first place. I don't know two things about surviving in the wilderness. I don't know how I got out here. I don't know why I can't remember anything.

I don't know anything!

I hate feeling so pathetic, but that's the only way I can describe it. I am pathetic. I'm weak, frustrated, and incredibly confused. What does he expect from me?

He comes back out a couple of minutes later and holds a muffin out to me, wordlessly.

I ignore it.

He groans. "Take it."

"I'm not hungry."

"Stop being so stubborn, and eat it."

I shoot him a hard look. "No thank you."

Heaving an exasperated sigh, he drops the muffin onto my lap. "You should eat. Trust me on this."

"I'll eat when I'm good and ready," I grumble.

"Fine," he mumbles. "By the way, Rick's coming later."

"Great, he can take me home."

"What?" His eyes widen as he turns to me. There's a look of anger and fear behind those golden irises. "You can't go home yet!"

Heat rises up my neck and I narrow my eyes at him. "Why not?"

"It's too soon to return to the city. It's not safe. You haven't gained control over your wolf. You could shift in the middle of the street, and then what?" He shakes his head, his voice rising as his nostrils flare. "No, it's not safe. It's too dangerous."

"What about my family, huh? Don't you think they ought to know where I am? That I'm safe and not picked up by some maniac, or murdered and my body dumped in the river?"

He closes his eyes, and I can tell he's fighting back something nasty on the tip of his tongue. "Yes, I agree that they should know that you're okay, but then what? If they haven't informed you that you're a shifter, then they probably don't know. They won't let you come back. And you need to be out of the city until you have complete control over your shifts. We can't let anyone catch you when you lose control, or god forbid, hurt someone!"

I'm fuming. I know he has some valid points, and would know more about what to expect from shifting than I do, but I have to go back. I have to let my parents know that I'm okay. Staying here without letting them know I'm okay is unacceptable.

"I have to go back," I tell him through gritted teeth. "You know I have to let my parents know that I'm alright."

He crushes his lips together as he struggles with what to say. "One more week."

"What?"

"Stay one more week with me here, and then we can tell your folks."

I shake my head, my chest rising and falling rapidly as I struggle to breathe. "No."

His eyes narrow at me.

"No!" I exclaim, getting to my feet and stepping away from him and the cabin. "You can't keep me here against my will!"

"It's for your own good," he growls.

"This is..." I can't even spit the words out. I look into his eyes. His face is controlled into a cold, hard stare. "Unbelievable!"

He scowls, causing me to turn on my heels in a huff. I storm away, his flip-flops smacking noisily against my heels as I tromp through the wildflowers, not caring how many flowerheads I snap off in the process.

If he thinks he can keep me here against my will...

"Hey!" he calls after me as I grumble under my breath to myself.

Before I can pick up my feet into a run, he's grabbing my arm and twisting me around to face him. I try to pry his fingers off, but his hold is firm and he shakes me slightly.

"Don't be stupid! You have no idea what you're capable of if you don't gain control over yourself first! Do you want to be responsible for killing someone by accident?"

"No," I grunt, pulling my arm away when I feel his grip loosen a bit. "But you have no right to keep me here against my will. I refuse."

He gnashes his teeth together. "Your idiocy will get someone killed."

"You don't know that for sure."

"Wouldn't be the first time someone got killed by our kind," he growls.

I open my mouth, only to shut it quickly. "I ain't gonna shift."

"What?"

"I said, I'm not going to let myself shift," I say with added emphasis.

He snorts. "You can't control that."

I jut my chin out at him. "I haven't shifted until now, right? Maybe I have more control over this thing than you give me credit."

The look he gives me, like I don't know what I'm talking about and I'm the most idiotic person on the planet, only fuels my anger more. "You and every one of us who hates being born this way."

I shake my head at him. "No. You guys are gonna take me back home. I won't be like you. I'm not gonna be a shifter."

"You can't-"

"I'm not going to be like you!"

The shrillness in my voice hurts my throat. My sleepless eyes sting with tears. I close them as I take a deep calming breath. I don't want to look at him. I'm afraid that if I do, I'll break down in tears.

I don't want any of this.

"Just take me back home." My voice is weak as I turn and trudge back to the cabin.

The sandals smack against my heels like a pair of bricks.