It had already started to turn dark when I started to drive back home. I couldn't wait to go home to the face of my husband, smiling softly as he comforts me while asking how my book signing went, and if I regret being an author. If was a regular thing, but I didn't hate it. In the end, Zander was always there.

As I pulled into the driveway, a light gleamed through the living room window. I knew instantly where he was. I opened the door, embraced by the warm temperature of the house, and the smell of vanilla that flew in the air due to the lit candle in the living room. On the couch sat my husband, hard at work. Perhaps creating a lesson plan for tomorrow for his classes, looking at my Instagram at the images of today's book signing, or anything else that was worth his attention. Or was worth his attention before I entered, for when I walked in, his eyes automatically landed on me.

He has told me more than once that I was a person that would catch the attention of crowds, but I never believed that. Or at least, not till midway senior year. Everywhere I was, Zander's eyes were always put on me. Perhaps that's what lead me to consider being with Zander. The fact that I was always able to have his attention regardless of the reason and he would then watch, hear, or listen to whatever it was that I wanted to show or tell him.

As he closed his laptop, he waited for me to take off my shoes and join him on the couch. I did just that; I took off the layers of clothing that protected me from the bitter weather outside, took off my shoes, and I sat on the couch, snuggling close to him as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Hello, my sweet love, " he spoke sweetly. "Hello, " I muttered out. "How did everything go?" He asked. "It went good, " I stated. "Why don't you tell me what made it good, " he told me. "This bookstore had a cafe in it, so I had a good mocha cappuccino while I was there. The staff there was really friendly, apparently, one of the cashiers is a fan of my work. So, that was really nice to hear and I took a picture with her. To be honest, there was one main thing that stood out that really made today's signing a really good one for me, " I told him. "Really; and what was that?" He questioned. "In the middle of the signing, this small family came to my table. It was these parents and their little five-year-old son. So, you know how this book's main character was of a kid that had an imaginary character, and as they grew up abandoned this imaginary character due to a lack of creativity. And as the main character becomes an adult, they become an artist but can't get anyone to buy his art cause people tell him that it lacks creativity and his imaginary figure comes back to show him what it's like to have creativity again and all that. Well, these parent's son and told me that he had an imaginary friend who was an artist. Due to that, he draws with his imaginary friend every day and now the kid is wanting to be an artist. His parents told me about how the book really inspired him and push to be an artist. That little boy, that little artist made my day and made this possibly one of the best book signings I've ever held, " I told Zander with a smile that never left my face.

"A little artist. That's adorable, " Zander replied. "I want a little artist of my own, " I said. I could suddenly feel Zander tense up. "Are you okay? You seem to have kinda tensed up after I side that, " I pointed out. "I'm fine, Aly," he spoke as he kissed my forehead. Life lesson #1: When a person says they're fine, they are not fine. "I don't think you are. What's bothering you, " I asked.

"It's just the fact that you said that you wanted a little artist of your own, " he answered. "Yea, just think about it. Imagine being a parent that has a kid or kids who are interested in the arts and want to be an artist. You can go and tell people that you have a mini artist on your hands, " I told him. "Yea, " he answered back, yet sounded somewhat nervous at the same time. "Zander, can I tell you something?" I asked. "Of course, you can tell me anything, " he tells me before kissing me. "I think I want to try for a baby, " I tell him. Just like that, his face gives this look as if his soul has left his body.

"You-yy-you want to try for a baby?" He questions me. "I think I want to try for a baby, " I tell him once more. "Aly, are you sure. Although we have had small thoughts about kids we never really took the time to sit down and discuss it. Yet, you're already saying that you want to try for a baby, " Zander tells me, and I could see he was going into a panic. I pulled him close to me, rubbing his back as I comforted him from a mental break down. "Then let's talk about it, " I tell him.

"I'm going, to be honest with you Aly, I don't know about this. Since I was a teenager, my mom has preached to me to be careful when having sex with someone and making sure not to get a girl pregnant, and if I did, that I should be prepared for a rough, awful, stressful time. Which, I'm happy that I never did. Yet, all of that never prepared for the future. It doesn't prepare for when I get married and at some point want kids of my own. Now, don't get me wrong, I want to have a kid. Yet, I'm not prepared for what happens after when you get pregnant. I don't know what to do, and I don't want to stumble into fatherhood not knowing what in the world I'm doing, " Zander tells me. I could understand where he was coming from. His mother was strict, a doctor, and a teen mom herself who had Zander just after graduating high school, but I know she wouldn't change anything in her life. I could see how she preached to Zander as a teenager about not getting some girl knocked up, but I know she wasn't aware of how this prepared him for the future whenever he wanted children of his own. "I get it, Zander. However, every parent doesn't walk into parenthood knowing everything. Being a parent and raising a kid is all a big learner experience and a life journey. Yet, know that you're not going into it alone because I'll be here through every step of the way. Besides, you're not the one with the hard part. I'm the one that's going to get pregnant, carry and grow a human being in me, and then push it out of a very tiny hole, " I tell him.

"I know, which brings the other part I worry about. We could have sex right now and possibly not get pregnant. We might have to try for a while before you get pregnant. Then, after you get pregnant you could at risk of having a miscarriage, or the baby could end up being born prematurely. All those things could happen, " he tells me. "You're right, all those things could happen, but that's also why we put those thoughts in the back of our minds. When you think about having a kid, you don't want those thoughts to go through your head, " I tell him. "Then what should I think about?" He questions me. "Think about this: the patter of the little feet of children in our home, the sound of giggles from a child,  all the things you could teach your child one day, or perhaps think about the first cries that you hear when your child is born. I want to experience all of that with you, Zander. I want to try for a baby and maybe, just maybe, get a little artist out of it, " I joked. "Perhaps we'll be the ones to end up with an artist kid, " Zander laughs. I cut him off with a kiss. "I love you, "I mutter out before going back to kiss him once more. " And I love you and the child we will bring into this world, " Zander tells me. I was then lead to the bedroom by Zander. As he pushed me down against the mattress, he looked down at me. "I think I'm ready, Aly. I ready to try for a baby, " He tells me. I smile before I kissed him once more.