The language you use in your life shapes the actions you will take. There are two words that begin with the letter "G" which will lead you in to very opposite directions in your personal life.

#1: G = Guilt

Women really struggle with feelings of guilt when they decide to take time for themselves and do meaningful work. By our nature we are creators and multi-taskers capable of doing so many things, but we let guilt creep in. It's not a female trait on it's own, because before marriage or kids most women were determined in their school work and extracurricular activities to be at the top and make a difference in the world.

So what the heck happened after marriage?

Yes, there are some women who have husbands who expect them to be available 24/7, but most are incredibly supportive of their wife's goals, but still I here, "but I feel guilty, I think, to take time away to work on what is meaningful for me...."

Beneath that guilt could be some of these raw fears and feelings:

1) There is the fear that if you are away and busy that somehow your husband will love you less or desire you less because you aren't there for every single waking moment he is. Beneath that guilt is a hidden desire to control his feelings for you by giving him no excuse to not need you and be with you.

2) But that leads to frustration with yourself and resentment towards him and your marriage. You have meaningful goals and dreams you want to fulfill, but each time you get stuck at this self-imposed guilt gate holding you back. You might feel resentful towards your husband for not understanding that it's his job to deconstruct the darn thing because you want to do so much, but can't get rid of guilty feelings to do them.

Now if I was working with a husband in couple's coaching and this issue came up, I could teach him how to suppor this wife and help him understand that she is dying fo rhim to recognize her passions, her dreams, and be her biggest supporter who gets her out of the door to make them happen.

Until that conversation or realization happens, it's up to you Lulu to open your own gate and push through.

Because on the other side is our other "G" word -

#2 G = GREATNESS

We all have the ability to excel and be great in something. Everyone deserves to find their greatness and bring that gift to the world.

The cake designer who designs beautiful wedding cakes bringing joy to a couple on the day of their walima has achieved a greatness in design, but that skill is a metaphor for more than frosting. Her niche is memory making.

The da'wah writer with her active Facebook page and blog who writes for Muslims who are struggling in their faith isn't just a woman putting her college degree in journalism to work. She has a niche of being a reminder to those who are struggling and has the great gift of receiving thank you emails and messages every week from those affected by her message.

Greatness is within all of us.

We know this when looking at children, and we believe that every single one of them is destined to become someone important when they grow up, but as adults, we stopped believing in ourselves. We stopped getting curious about the world around us, and discovering something new, being willing to play, and allow ourselves to grow.

The next chapter of your life has many things in store for you, none of which you can predict as all is up to the Qadr of Allah.

What is within your power is deciding who you want to become in it and what actions will help shape you into the person you want to be.

It's up to you which "G" world you want to identify with:

Guilt or Greatness