Ch 14 - Nick Hates Himself

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That link again:

https://www.swoonreads.com/m/six/

NB The version on Swoon Reads is edited and has a little more info. Not a lot, but a little. 😄

Happy Easter my darling Smurflettes!!! I love you all! 😘❤️😊

***

"Would you leave already? She'll be fine!" Mordecai told me for the millionth time.

"You must call me the moment she wakes up," I told him.

"What if you're in the middle of your game?" he asked. 

I shrugged. "I'll be wearing my earpiece."

"That's going to distract you from playing Xander," he said with an eye roll.

"You let me worry about me. Just tell me if she wakes up," I told him before leaving the room.

It was Thursday, four days since we'd rescued Nadia, and she was in a coma. They hadn't broken any of her bones, but you could tell that she'd been majorly roughed up. We took her straight to Cypher, and found that they injected poison in her, but not enough to kill her. It was probably just enough to torture her.

"We'll reach the States in the next eleven hours, so you can rest," Aziel told me once we were on board the jet. Mordecai was the only one staying behind with Nadia, but he'd be joining us at graduation.

"What makes you think I want to rest?" I asked him.

"You need to rest star quarterback," Malachi reminded.

I shrugged. "I'll be fine."

"You haven't slept in two days Xander. No good will come from that," Nigel told me.

"It's not like I'm going to be able to sleep anyway. I don't know where my girlfriend is," I reminded.

Jayme couldn't track blossom, and of course that means I'm as agitated as they come. He's tried everything, including hacking his own father's system, but nothing. I'm left to hope that nothing happens to her.

"She's with the twins. There's nothing that could possibly happen to her," Aziel said.

"Yeah, that doesn't help. I don't know those people," I pointed out.

"You mean you don't know what they're capable of," Nigel corrected.

I rolled my eyes. "Same dif!"

"So what exactly is your plan? You're going to sit here and be unfocused until you know where Elle is?" Aziel asked me.

I nodded, getting comfortable in my chair. "Pretty much!"

"That's stupid and you know it," Nigel told me.

"That's great and all, but I'm still not sleeping," I told them.

"Elliephant wouldn't want you to not rest," Malachi surprised me by saying.

He hasn't forgiven me yet after all.

"If only she was here to tell me herself," I said with a shrug.

"Fine! Be stubborn and see if we care," Nigel said with a huff.

The three of them left and went to get settled into their seats. It wasn't long before Malachi's snoring filled the air. I could see the confusion on Bridgette's face since she and Malachi were sitting opposite me.

She was probably wondering how the hell she was meant to be in a relationship with someone who could snore the whole jet down.

"He only snores when he's stressed or worried," I informed her. She jumped, clearly caught off guard.

"He's so loud," she said with a scowl on her face.

"It doesn't happen very often, which means he's super stressed or worried about something right now," I commented.

She cocked her head to the side. "You're not serious."

"What?" I asked.

"He's just as worried about Elle as you are; we all are. Just because we're not making stupid decisions or being moody about the whole thing, doesn't mean that we're not as worried about her too you know," she pointed out.

I sighed, leaning back in my chair. "It's not that I don't think that you're not all worried. I just don't think that any of you are as worried as I am, and now that we're going back to the States, what the hell am I supposed to tell her family about her disappearing? Her father is surely going to kill me."

"You can't be killed for something she chose to do, and I will gladly back you up on that. Elle chose to leave with the twins," she said.

"As much as I appreciate the gesture, you don't know Mr Solano ok," I told her.

"I don't need to know him better than you do to know that he can't possibly want to blame you for something you're not responsible for," she argued.

"It all comes back down to me Bridge. Blossom would've never been in this situation if she hadn't met me," I countered.

"That's bullshit," Aziel commented beside me.

"How so?" I asked.

"You are so wrapped up in your own little self-hating world that you'll believe practically anything your mind tells you, no matter how fucked up it is," he said.

I shrugged. "Your point is?"

"Xander, you've been my brother for almost fourteen years now. I know you better than anyone else on the face of the planet. I know that you would rather take on the blame and the suffering for everyone that you care about, than let them suffer, and I get that, except you need to stop playing superhero so much, and I'm not referring to your job here. You need to let people go through their lives and make mistakes, even if you know what the outcome will be. People need to learn and by you protecting all of us, we're not going to do that. You also have no control over fate," he continued.

"I still don't get where you're going with this," I admitted.

"Right now, you believe that Noelle left because of you, which is astounding by the way since you don't even know why she left but you're already blaming yourself. She left for whatever reason, but her being in your life isn't your fault or your doing. I'd like to believe that a love like the one you have was bound to find you, just like she was bound to find her way back to Cypher. We've already established that she's always been linked to Cypher, so with or without you, she would've still made it back. I'd also like to believe that you need to stop treating her like a child. She's seventeen, not seven. She's old enough to make her own decisions, and you've taught her how to take care of herself. I know that you've never been in a relationship before, and you're afraid of losing her, but as much as she counts on her love for you to see her through when you go on missions, you have to count on your love for her to see you through when she does things you're not particularly on board with. It's all about trust Xander, and I know you still trust her, despite not knowing what's going on with her right now," he elaborated.

"I don't want her to be like my parents Aziel," I said lowly.

"Don't you think I've already put two and two together? Your parents were not killed entirely because of you, and you keep forgetting that. You're also heavily in denial about what Elle's life is like," he replied.

I scowled. "Meaning?"

"You've already admitted to yourself that there's a possibility that she's keeping things from you, but those things aren't just simple things in a normal relationship. I know Mordecai and Zuri told you not to attack her when you see her again, and I'm all for that, but I'm also all for you getting some truth to this. You're my best friend, and as much as I'd like to believe that you and Elle belong together, I also believe that as fucked up as you are, you deserve to be with someone who isn't going to play around with your feelings. I'm not saying that that's what Elle's doing. I'm just saying that while you're protecting her, protect your own heart too," he explained.

I got the gist of what he was saying.

"She's my best friend, and I'll help you wherever I can because helping you means helping her too. Everything will be ok Xander. Just keep believing that no matter what life throws at you," Bridgette added.

"Thanks," I told them both.

They both nodded before turning to sleep. Soon enough, I was in a quiet jet. Even Jayme had fallen asleep, and yet all I could do was drown in my thoughts. In fact, I was drowning more in my memories than anything else.

*FLASHBACK*

I had just arrived outside The Dragons' Headquarters in Cuba. I'd made it this far without being killed, thanks to Nigel's intel. He was the leader on my tech and communications team for this mission, since I was the only one qualified enough to be sent on it.

"You're going to jump onto the wall and then click on every dark brick. It will push out and you'll be able to climb all the way up, where you will then zip line yourself," he informed me.

"Got it," I responded before my fifteen-year-old self, jumped onto the wall.

Navigating the wall was easy enough, and once I got to the top, Nigel gave me more instructions to survive the security. We were both still quite shocked to find out that they hadn't changed their security since he'd left.

Soon enough, I was inside, and once again, we couldn't believe that not even the inside had changed since he'd left. We pent it down to attachment issues and tradition. I stealthily made my way to the room that would have the change of clothing I needed.

"You're going to probably find her in the training room, which means I have to cut all communication with you now. Remember to destroy everything before you go to her," Nigel told me.

"I got it the first million times One," I replied. I had to use his code name because of the tech team listening in.

"I don't care. I'm the one who knows what you're dealing with here. You need to be careful because they will not spare your life," he warned.

"Again, I got it the first million times," I sassed. I could imagine him rolling his eyes.

"And Six?" he called.

"Yeah?" I replied.

"Don't fall in love with her," he warned.

I laughed. "Pssh, what the hell is love?"

"You say that now, but wait until you meet her," he said before cutting our communication.

And the sad part is that he was almost right.

I almost fell in love with her.

I went to the training room and sure as day, there was a girl there with dark hair. She was fighting with swords, except Nigel hadn't done her any justice in describing her, but I guess it makes. She is after all, his little sister.

She stopped moving and turned around long enough for me to see her beautiful face before she came charging at me with her swords. I had to think on my feet by dodging in time to make it to a sword so that I could defend myself.

"You're a spy," she spat.

"How do you know that?" I asked her.

"The Dragons know not to enter when I'm training which means you're not a dragon. However, you made this far without getting killed, so I will give you a chance to explain yourself before I kill you," she said as she continued to fight me.

"Why not kill me since you plan to anyway?" I asked.

"And here I thought I bought you time to give me a good reason not to kill you," she said before she stopped fighting me altogether.

"I come in peace. Your brother sent me," I lied.

She cocked her head to the side. "Blayze doesn't work with people like you."

"I never said it was Blayze who sent me," I hinted.

Her eyes widened before she dropped her swords. "Ira's alive?"

"He is, and he wants to get you out of here."

***

What I felt then, and what I feel now, are completely different. It took just seeing blossom for me to realize that in the past, it was infatuation. What I feel for blossom, just from looking at her, let alone touching or kissing her, is real and more passionate than anything I will ever feel in my life.

Thinking back on my time at The Dragons, I realize just how toxic she was for me and a part of me hates Aziel for being in love with her, despite seeing how truly dark she can be. I never believed in magic, until I saw her get possessed by a millennium old demon spirit.

Yeah, I've been through and witnessed some weird shit in my life.

I managed to eventually drift off to a dreamless sleep, before I was shaken awake. We were about to land, and as soon as we did, I wanted out of the jet. It was still slightly dark out since it was early on Friday morning. The football team and the cheerleading squad were leaving for their championships later in the morning.

But I had one stop to make first.

"Are you sure you don't want us to come in with you?" Nigel asked me as we parked outside the safe house the Solano's were staying at.

"I'm sure! I'll see you guys at the game. I'll probably call Cash to come and get me if Nick doesn't want to ride with me," I assured them.

"Alright man! Break a leg," Aziel told me.

"That's if Sergio doesn't break his leg for him," Malachi teased, making them laugh.

"Yeah, real funny," I said dryly.

They left soon after and I had to dig up my courage to take me to the door. "Six?"

Mrs Solano was the one to open the door. "Hi Mrs Solano."

"Why are you here so early in the morning?" she asked, still looking confused.

"I'm here to talk to Mr Solano," I replied.

"Oh! I thought you'd be with Noelle on your way to the hotel already," she said, letting me in.

We were all staying at a hotel for the championship weekend.

"She called you?" I instead asked.

"Yeah! She called about an hour ago to say that you two would be heading out before everyone else," she informed.

"I guess that's why she was so impatient with me," I played along.

"Men," she teased, to which I laughed.

"Does Mr Solano know what you know?" I asked her.

"We were together when she called. You just missed him though. He already left for the office," she replied.

So they both think I left with blossom.

"In that case, I'd better get back to blossom so that we can head out," I told her.

I was surprised when she hugged me. "Drive safely, enjoy yourselves and get us that championship. We'll see you guys at the game."

"Uh, sure! I'll pass on the message," I said as I awkwardly hugged her back.

"Great! Here comes Nicholas," she said as her son came down the stairs.

"Six?" he said in confusion.

"Sup," I greeted.

"Aren't you supposed to be with Ellie?" he asked.

"She's mad at me," I lied.

He scowled. "So what are you doing here?"

"I was coming to see your dad, and your mom was kind enough to show me the error of my ways with regards to your sister," I replied.

"Oh ok! I'll see you at the hotel then?" he asked.

"Let me leave with you. Mrs Solano, it was a pleasure seeing you again," I told her.

"Same to you Six," she said with a smile before Nick and I left the house.

He raised an eyebrow at me once we got outside. "Where's your car?"

"I had everyone drop me off," I replied.

"And?" he prompted.

"We found Nadia, but blossom is gone," I informed.

He sighed as we headed over to his car. "What did she do now?"

"She?" I asked in confusion.

"Believe it or not, I don't think you would've done anything to drive her away, so the only other explanation is that she left by her merry self. When did she leave? How? And did she say where she was headed?" he asked as we got on our way to school.

"She left the same day we arrived, and she left with the twins I hate most at the organization. Apparently they know about her past, well at least before the fire. She lied and told us that she wanted to catch up with them and their cousin, a friend and associate at the organization too, but by the time we realized that there was something off about her, she was on a jet, leaving. We arrived just as they were taking off, so nothing could be done to stop her. She just told me that she's sorry, and that she loves me," I explained.

"Most of what you just said didn't make sense to me, but at the same time it did because of how shady she's been lately," he commented.

"Bridge mentioned that you all probably spotted the weirdness but didn't say anything to each other," I said.

"I honestly didn't know if they noticed, and I didn't want to come across as the overbearing and overprotective brother if I said anything since I was trying to sympathize with her missing you and all, but something just wasn't right. If anything, I wouldn't put it out of mind to say that she's either bipolar or she suffers from an identity crisis," he replied.

I laughed a little. "I doubt it's any of the two, but yes, her behaviour was and I guess still is overly suspicious. Besides her disappearances, can you remember anything else that seemed out of place about her?"

"Well, her emotions were on a super rollercoaster, she was taking phone calls in secret and there were a couple of times when she'd have all these marks on her neck and arms. I wouldn't know if the marks were anywhere else since the rest of her body was always covered, but I think that's it. All I'm saying is that she wasn't my sister. Only in the past few weeks have I seen my sister again," he responded.

"Do you mind if I make a phone call?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "Go ahead, but I want to ask something. Are we going to the hotel with the team on the bus, or do you want me to just keep driving?"

"Do you mind?" I asked, not in the mood for 'team spirit'.

He laughed. "The end goal is for you to play the championship. No one said you had to endure the team spirit torture."

"Thanks man," I said with a smile before taking out my phone to dial Jayme's number.

"What do you need?" he asked as he answered the phone.

"Nick just told me that blossom was very secretive about her phone calls. Can you tap into her phone and find out who she was talking to?" I asked.

"Ok, hold on one minute. By the way, I finished taking Nadia's surveillance pieces apart, but they all have no data on them. Instead, they all have one message; Phoenix To The Power of Infinity," he informed.

"Did you tell Three this?" I asked. I had to use his number and not his name because of Nick's presence.

"I did, and he said that Malachi and Nigel would figure it out while you're getting ready for your match. He's too busy taking care of Nadia and trying to piece together everything we found from the rescue. I've already hacked Genesis' files and gotten everything they have that could be cross-referenced to the message. Last I checked, they put Aziel in charge of going through those files," he replied.

"Anything I need to do?" I asked.

"Just stay focused on your championships for now. Right! I've found Elle's records, but all the calls were from different untraceable burner phones," he replied.

Much like I suspected.

"I thought that's what you would have to report back to me. Is there anything that looks suspicious? Can you check her messages for anything out of the ordinary?" I asked.

"Her messages are protected by a code that even I can't even begin to take apart, but there are four phone calls that stand out here; one to my uncle, one to someone in Cuba, one to someone in Barcelona and one to someone in Shanghai," he informed.

"Cuba? Barcelona? Shanghai? Francis?" I asked in confusion.

He sighed. "I'll try to reference the international calls to see if there's anything suspicious. I've just tried to track my uncle, and of course, just like my dad, he's off the grid."

"I mean, I know Franco said that he's established some sort of relationship with her, but what would she be doing with Frankie? How do they even know each other?" I asked.

"Asking each other questions won't get us anywhere. I'll get onto this and text you if I get anything," he said.

"Thanks man," I said before hanging up.

"So? What did he say?" Nick asked me.

I sighed. "Something big is going on with your sister Nick. I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt because I love her, but I highly doubt everyone will be fully on her team."

"That much I figured. I thought of telling dad about it, but he already seems so stressed with everything going on at work. People want to know who killed Vladimir Iskra, and they're on the FBI's case about it. This would not go down easy with him," he said worriedly.

"We're not going to say anything to him, especially since blossom doesn't trust him," I replied.

He scowled. "What? Why?"

"Some new information keeps surfacing, information that doesn't put him in a good light with her in terms of the elephant between them. She feels like there's a big reason why he won't tell her why he wasn't allowed near her, and she feels that for as long as he's not ready to share that truth, then she has nothing to say to him," I explained.

"That's heavy! It seems like the both of you meeting each other was probably the best and worst thing to happen to you guys," he commented.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You make her happy and she makes you happy, and I know she loves you more than anyone else in the world just like you do, but your entry into each other's lives introduced you both to a whole new world of new experiences. You introduced her to the world of agents and mystery, while she introduced you to the world of love and living outside your demons. Whether or not that last bit is a bad thing is yet to be determined, but from where we stand right now, it's not looking too great," he elaborated.

I mulled over his words. For the first time in days, something someone else said to me regarding my relationship made sense. Everyone else has been bashing my relationship and my girlfriend in one way or the other, while Nick made me see that blossom and I are in this together.

He reminded me that I'm not perfect, and never have been.

"Should I be worried?" I asked.

"I would've said yes if it were anyone else, but I've never seen a love like the one you and my sister share. It's the stuff fairy tales are made of, except the two of you have the shitty trimmings that are unnecessarily tagging along. Nevertheless, I refuse to see them as road blocks. They are merely curves and speedbumps. Your road ends with a big and beautiful wedding and five little bambinos calling me Uncle Nicky," he said confidently.

I laughed at that. "One can always count on you to cheer them up."

"It's what I do best," he said with a shrug.

After a while of silence, I had to ask. "So, you like Jayme huh?"

"THAT BITCH!" he shouted.

"Calm down. I didn't even say anything to him," I teased.

"Your stupid girlfriend should stay wherever she is because if she comes back, you're going to lose her for sure," he threatened.

"Nick, I've known you for three years and you've never acted this way about a guy before. What exactly is it about Jayme that sets you off so much?" I asked curiously, ignoring the death threat aimed at the love of my life.

He didn't say anything and instead decided to ignore me. It's a five-hour drive to where we were headed, and I was already used to silence, so I let him be. My people reading skills though showed me just how deep in thought he was about the topic. When he turned down the volume, I knew he was ready to talk.

"I've never had the courage to have a crush on someone, even though I knew from an early age that girls do nothing for me. I'm always giving people relationship advice, and I've always been the cool kid who doesn't get affected by anything. Despite all of that, I knew one thing for sure- everyone knows that I'm special. In comes this boy with the most gorgeous eyes I've ever seen, and he doesn't even give me the time of day. Instead, the first time I meet him, he goes running off to my sister to tell her about some girl named Ayah. When I tried to make conversation with him, he told me that I talk too much and then he up and left. I've never been so embarrassed in my life."

I knew he was about to open up to me, but what he said isn't something I would've pieced together myself. I mean just like his sister, Nick is probably not one of the easiest people to read. His flamboyant personality makes it hard to tell when he's being serious and when he's not.

"So you like Jayme, and you hate yourself for it," I said knowingly.

"I hate how despite knowing that I may never have a shot with him, and his rudeness towards me, I'm still intrigued by him," he confirmed.

"Do you want me to tell you about him and why he's like this?" I asked.

"I would say it's one of those things you learn from the person themselves, but since I don't see that happening..." he trailed off.

He felt hopeless.

And I totally understood where he was coming from.

"Jayme isn't like the other agents. He wasn't recruited because of his skills. He was found by his father, Franco. As you probably noticed, Franco isn't big on people, but Jayme is worse. His mother was one of the most wanted criminals in the world, and for years, she hid him from Franco. Franco worked day and night for twelve years, looking for his son. When he finally found him, it was a bloodbath. It's one thing to watch your parents get killed, or watch them go rogue, but watching your parents truly want to kill each other is something that no child should ever have to go through, and unfortunately Jayme did. Franco ended up killing his mother, but Jayme refused to go with him. Franco later found out that Jayme had succumbed to abuse and torture from the people his mother had worked with, so he wanted nothing to do with anything or anyone. It took watching his father work for Jayme to find his passion, and Franco made it his mission to educate his son on his skill. I got in the way of that by making Franco leave the organization, so I vowed to make sure that I teach Jayme everything that I know as well. He's the only agent that is both tech and field qualified. Him being rude to you has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with him not being able to let people in. As we both know, blossom is stubborn, so it must've been pretty easy for her to get him to accept him. You just need to approach him from a different angle."

I left him to his thoughts once more as he continued to drive. I knew he wasn't focused on driving anymore, but I had to trust that he wouldn't get us killed. Jayme's past isn't an easy one to digest, and I'd only told him the surface level stuff.

"Thank you," he said once we'd reached our destination.

Yes, we were quiet for that long.

"You're welcome," I said.

We left the car and our rivals for the championships were already there. The cheerleading squads from the other schools were also already there. I texted Cash to find out how far they were, and he told me that they were thirty minutes out still.

"I guess we can go and see where they have all our details," Nick suggested.

I was about to nod when my eyes landed on the last person I expected to see here, my eyes widening in the process. "Rio?

"Hello Six."

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