Yuuri wasn't sleeping.

This was obvious; the dark bags under his hooded eyes left little to the imagination, and his languished movements only grew slower as the days went on. He wasn't only just not sleeping. He wasn't skating well either. Jumps that he rarely failed were missed, step sequences that he specialized in sloppy. Viktor had begun to notice. How could he not? This was his fiancé after all. To not notice would be the greatest crime of the century.

Yuuri came home late almost every day. Directly after practice, off he would scurry without so much as an explanation, and later return nearly completely wiped out. It took 5 seconds, a loving stroke to his cheek, the soft plant of a kiss on his forehead, even just a softness of a lover's hug, and he was out. Viktor would have to go to sleep without his Yuuri cuddles. This was, by all means, torture to the puppy husband who needed to be cuddled.

Yuuri was stressed. This Viktor had deduced as his failed jumps continue to pile. His anxiety attacks, which had begun to become more and more rare, had swarmed back in a storm, a new one ensuing nearly every day. And they became harder to overcome, and no matter how much Viktor tried to help it, it seemed like the more he tried, the less it helped. Before, just his soft voice and soft strokes in the charcoal hair would be enough to calm him down. Now, not even his sister, who was admittedly more experienced in these than he was, could stop the flowing tears with ease over the phone.

Yuuri remained quiet. He and Viktor would usually spend hours upon hours chatting in the apartment after practice, joking about Georgi's new makeup look or Yuri's most recent tantrum, talking about whatever was looming on their minds and comfort each other, or just cuddle and giggle about the most random facts, all of which usually happened under the soft hug of a shared blanket and a cup of tea. This was their time. Viktor's favorite time of all. But Yuuri was never home for those, not anymore. And that time would be spent alone, stroking Makkachin's curled fur, watching a show on TV with a blank stare, or trying (and most of the time failing) to hold the tears of his past in. Yuuri was usually there to help him with these. Now it seemed like he was alone again.

Yuuri wasn't ok. This is what Viktor deduced. No matter how much he tried to coerce the answer out of him however, he refused to let it slip by. Viktor was growing more than upset, but not at his fiancé. At himself. He didn't know what was going on, but his brain convinced him that whatever it was, it was his fault and he should have been able to fix it.

Viktor was starting to get sad. And he was going to get to the bottom of this.

When Yuuri awoke he noticed four things right away.

Number one: just how close Viktor was holding himself to him. The way he clung onto his hooded figure was like a child clinging onto a beloved stuffed animal. Almost as if he were to be taken away from him any second and he wanted to hold on as long as possible.

Number two: It was much too light to be normal. The normal darkness of the room that was what they woke up to was replaced by a gray ambience streaming in through the crack of the curtains, filling the room with a dull gray glow that was consistent with that one a rainy day. This was further proven by the oh so faint sound of a downpour outside.

Number three: It was much too quiet. The usual shrill screech of Viktor's alarm that was their morning greeting was no where to be found, replaced instead by the soft sounds of his husband's breathing. It was a relaxing wake, to say the least, but also concerning.

Number four: By this point he'd forgotten number four.

Trying his hardest not to move too much, he twisted his head and groped his hand around until it landed on his phone to check the time. As soon as his eyes landed on the numbers, his mouth ran dry. Letting out a short squeal, he dropped his phone back down and began to shake the man holding him in a frenzy.

"Viktor, Viktor, we overslept. We're late for practice!" The older man's eyes opened just enough so he could see that he was awake. Letting it a soft sigh, he tightened his grip on Yuuri, bringing him closer up against his chest and rendering him frozen at the lack of care that they were potentially hours late to their training session. He nearly shrieked when Viktor turned suddenly housing Yuuri up so he was laying on top of him, head resting on his chest. The blanket was tightened over the two of them, surrounded them in an enchanting cocoon of warmth that nearly lulled him to sleep once more.

"Mm, practice is cancelled today..." He mumbled nearly incoherently, adjusting his grip on Yuuri so he was hugging him quite tightly. Yuuri struggled against this iron hold. As much as this position made the butterflies in his stomach go insane, something was holding him from the comfort of the hug.

"What?! You can't just cancel practice like that! What about our schedule... Viktor, are you even listening?!" He glared down at his non-chilling expression, blowing the bangs out of his face so he could shoot his point directly into his eyes.

"Yuuri..." Viktor now had his eyes nearly fully open, staring straight up at the man looking down at him curiously. He lifted a hand from his back and gently pushed a lock of hair from in front of Yuuri's eyes. "Please...come back to sleep. I'll explain later..." This offer was so inviting. Everything about it called to him, the warmth of the blanket draped over the two, the idea of being able to rest longer, letting the soft heartbeat of his lover below him lull him to sleep like a lullaby. It sounded like a dream. Sighing softly, he lifted his head and pressed his lips against Viktor's slightly parted ones in a touch so gentle, it could have been mistaken for the air. Viktor's lips parted into a relaxed smile as he returned the favor.

How long had it been since the two had shared a kiss like this? Yuuri couldn't remember, and neither could Viktor. Nonetheless the emotions that flooded through the Russian's veins were sweet ecstasy, and no effort of his could have restrained the soft contented moan that escaped his lips. It wasn't a moan of pleasure, nor of want; it lacked all the depth that made such a sound the symbol of sexuality. Instead it was soft, but filled to the brim with a soft happiness, a breath that read "I missed you."  They spun again so they were now sharing a pillow and staring directly into each other's eyes.

And for a second, just a brief moment, Yuuri forgot about his problem. He forgot and was instead mesmerized by the beauty in front of him. He forgot and he was in a world without cares, without a worry in the world. It was just him and his beloved fiancé. Just them. Viktor scooted himself closer, close enough so the slow gentle thumps of his heartbeat were just audible, and buried his nose into Yuuri's lock, inhaling the sweet scent of his ocean breeze shampoo that didn't quite smell like the ocean but instead like Yuuri himself. One hand rose to card itself through said locks, a motion he knew very well was Yuuri's guilty pleasure.

He couldn't help it; the gentle tugging at his hair, the warmth of the hands  against his scalp, the soft repetitive motion, the combination was the equivalent a lullaby to a young child to him. This, along with the sweet scent of his fiancé was his weakness, and Viktor knew this. As his eyes drooped, the world around him lost all meaning, melting away into a melting pot of warmth. Just before he slipped under the surface of consciousness, he was able to mutter one word.

"Fine."

~~~

When Yuuri awoke for the second time, he noticed  two things.

Number one: He was much too refreshed. His eyes didn't sting to sink back into the confort of the blanket, and his muscles didn't ache nearly as much as they usually did. He was able to sit up in bed without his head spinning wildly.

Number two: He was in bed alone. There was no octopus of a man clinging to him, whining for him to lay back down: that was replaced instead by a brown furry lump, snoring away quietly to his side.

Number three: That smell drifting in from under the door was heavenly.

Ok, so maybe it was three things.

Inhaling another whiff of that sweet filling aroma, he took this sweet moment of peace to scan the room. Yep, nothing new. What was he to expect? The ambience was stil gray, he could still hear the faint pattering of the rain outside. Again, nothing new.

His stomach gurgled, and it was then that the faint wave of nausea that came with hunger hit him. Stroking Makka's fur with one hand, he reached for his phone with the other and checked the time.

13:07. He had two hours. Setting his phone back down on the nightstand, he slipped out from underneath the covers, shivering slightly at the chilled air outside his bubble of sweet warmth. Even through the thin material of his training clothes, the cold still made itself present.

Wait...

It dawned on him just now, and he looked down with horror at his clothes. He was wearing yesterday's training clothes, a blue and black track suit. "Did I not change last night?" Biting his lip, he stripped down and put on a fresh set of clothes, an too-big sweater that fell down to his thighs and some yoga pants, uncaring of how they hugged his legs in a form fitting manner.

Content with his change, he stumbled out of the room, leaving the door open for Makkachin later. He was met with soft singing along with the faint sounds of an unfamiliar song on the radio. Soft padding behind him drew his attention to a certain labradoodle bouncing giddily past him, tongue lolling out the side of his mouth. He trotted over to the source of the singing, a certain gray—sorry, platinum haired man flipping something over a stove. He was swaying his hips along to the beat, his head bobbing simultaneously.

It was comical, really; such an experienced figure skater bouncing along in such a childish way to a common pop song. Yuuri hid behind the wall, watching his fiancé with a smile spreading across his face. The beat began to increase as instruments added onto the main melody. Somewhere in the mix of melodious notes, the music began to climb, surely reaching its climax (NO STOP IT). Makkachin yipped, almost as if he were singing along to the song, and threw his two paws up Viktor's long twink legs. This grabbed his attention, and he set his spatula down and turned to face the dog. He grabbed the two paws with a heart-shaped smile on his face, and began to dance around with him like a child. Jumping up and down, they spun in a sloppy fashion. A smile tugged at his lips at the pair, and it took a great amount of energy for Yuuri not to laugh out loud. Makkachin yipped, more loudly than last time.

"Shhh...." Viktor giggled, hushing the pup and gesturing towards the bedroom. "Don't wanna wake up dad, do we?" Makkachin yipped once more, an annoyed yip as if calling him "idiot. He pushed away from Viktor and bounded over to where Yuuri was standing, tugging at his sweater. Jumping, Yuuri shushed the pup and tugged away in hopes that he went unnoticed. However, Makkachin was relentless, and continued to pull until he finally dragged Yuuri out into the open, much to Viktor's surprise. His smile only widened, and he bounded over to him a childish canter.

"Yuuri!!" He called, grabbing his wrists and tugging him towards the center of the room. "Come dance with me!!" The beat of the music continued to rise in tempo and volume and he began to whirl the man around in a giddy spin. Yuuri opened his mouth to complain, but instead a loud laugh escaped him instead.

How could he not? This light feeling inside, he hadn't felt it in so long. It was like a drug, overcoming his body and letting it fall into the will of his emotions. That stress that had been bubbling up inside him was calmed, not enough to completely dissolve, but instead to be buried down underneath a cover of the present. And so he joined in, giggling as he was twirled around as if they were dancing the tango. The dance was without rhyme, reason, or order. They were led only by the beat of the music and the swelling of tempo.

The climax fell down to the second verse, accompanied by a march-like beat that was quite catchy. Viktor took this slow down to change the style of dancing, pulling his fiancé in to dance a slow ballroom sway, one that could easily be described as a waltz.  The couple twirled as if they were connected, one in the same name (Victuuri ha—) and heartbeat. They met eyes, and their gazes locked in an enamored hold, one impossible to sever even if either of them tried. The light reflection in their eyes glimmered in sync, boasting the same ideas. Almost as if in a trance, they met in a sweet kiss, melting together as the measures of the song swirled around them, enveloping them into a world of their own. And if the world didn't have to move on, they would have stayed like that for eternity, locked in a lover's embrace.

But alas, the world does spin at the end of the day, and the fire alarm was on a mission. So, the second it caught whiff of a bitter scent, it screamed in both their ears, the pure surprise of the sound alone breaking this enchantment they had fallen under and pulling their souls back down to the cruel earth. Viktor released Yuuri, the spots where he'd been held burning. Yuuri pouted as he watch him scrabble over to the stove and yank the pan off the heat. From it rose a trickle of opaque black smoke. It was rushed over to the sink and what looked like a... an oversized hockey puck was dumped into the running water, smothering the smoke nearly immediately. Thy both just stood there, staring at the charred... thing being drenched by the faucet, in complete and utter silence. It was Yuuri who broke the silence.

"Is that...sorry, WAS that a.. pancake?"

"Fried egg...." This only confused him further, but upon seeing Viktor's distraught expression, decided not to question it further.

"Interesting..."

"So.... how does cereal sound?"

"Good afternoon to you too." Viktor laughed and set the pan down in the sink to be washed later, then turned to face his fiancé with a coy smirk on his face. Yuuri was busy pulling two bowls from the cabinets and setting them on the table. He could feel Viktor's eyes on his back, and deliberately ignored them, just to get on his nerves. So he made sure to keep his back to him, even if it meant certain movements were awkward and slow. A huffed sigh let him know that his plan was working, and a mischievous smile slid unto his face. This was revenge. Revenge for all the coy tricks and schemes Viktor would play on him just to receive an extra kiss or to trap him into a hug. And Viktor's hugs, as he earned the hard hard way, were inescapable. Sure enough, a voice behind him drifted up, laced with annoyance.

"You're ignoring me." He called in a singsong voice.

"Am I?" Yuuri pursed his lips, still not turning around. "I hadn't noticed."

"Well stop it; you owe me something." Yuuri froze, cereal box in hand. His mouth ran dry and he took in a deep breath to calm the pounding inside his chest. This was it. This was the conversation that had been eating away at his consciousness little by little for weeks now, releasing its poisons at a torturous pace. It's those kinds of monsters that hurt the most; the ones can't be seen, the ones that work behind the shadows and threatened if ever faced with the opportunity to reveal itself. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he placed the box down on the table. "Just play dumb"  Plastering a fake smile, he spun to face Viktor. "And what is that?" Somewhere inside of him he knew it was futile. Viktor wasn't dumb. Sure he lacked common sense, and, yeah ok, it was a miracle that msn hadn't burned his apartment down before Yuuri came along, but he wasn't dumb.

"You know what." Shit... Yuuri took in a deep breath, preparing the explanation in his head he'd memorized days ago in case it ever came to it. Though at this point the speech had been engraved in his mind, today the worlds melted into a jumbled mess, and he just couldn't remember anything. The pressure on his chest began to rise, and he gasped suddenly to try and alleviate it. "An official morning kiss."

All at once his blurring vision cleared, and he swallowed. "Oh..." Viktor pursed his lips, tapping them with his finger. "Play it cool, nothing happened."

"Excuse me, sir, I do not." He said, mustering an awkward laugh mixed with a gasp for air. "Dammit..." He forced himself to look up at his fiancé's face, which he half-expected to be drawn into an overdramatize pout. Instead he was met with furrowed brows.

"Yuuri... are you ok?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

"You're shaking."

It was all very sudden; the dam that had been holding these boiling emotions had been cracking for a while. But now, those cracks were too much, and his walls no longer held the strength he'd worked so hard to build up.

The dam burst.

Had the world always been this small? All sound left his ears and he could hear nothing. The overwhelming silence crept in through his ears, crawling around his brain and down through his veins. His pose, which before had been sturdy enough, suddenly made him feel as if he were on stilts, and his hand had to shoot bask and grasp onto the table for support. The next gasp for air came with choked sob embedded in it, and he cursed silently, turning away so no one would have to see him. The familiar sting of tears drew his attention from his own breathing to a feeble attempt to try and stop hose waterworks. This was the last thing he needed. Squeezing his eyes shut stung, opening them sting, everything seemed to sting. He didn't seem to notice the growing weight in his chest for a proper breath of air, nor the faint calls for his name. He was now possessed by a single phrase, a demon's whisper consuming every part of his consciousness. 

"You don't have have enough."

"Yuuri, I need you to listen to me." 

"Was that real? Or... my mind?"

"Nod your head if you can hear me."

"Don't do it don't do it..." He nodded, blindly. 

"Ok good. Can you do something for me? I need you to take a deep breath with me ok? We've done this before." The voice called to him, coaxing him as if he were a child. Nodding a curt nod, he turned all focus back to his breathing, searching for that shelf in the middle of exhaling and inhaling, that middle ground that often helped him catch his breath. It was like the ocean in a way, receding and reaching out, grabbing at the line that spelt relief only to miss and fall deeper into his pit. However, the soft voice in the background encouraging him to keep reaching, it continued to fuel his every attempt, adding on and on until it finally reached the level necessary. Once he found it, he clung onto that shelf, allowing his breaths to center around that. Little by little the pain in his chest began to alleviate itself, along with it the ringing in his ears. A lingering softness made itself known in his locks, running through them in a repetitive motion. Where the touch landed, relief followed, and as the light-headedness that had been overwhelming his head began too fade, his face came into contact with something soft, welcoming. He sank into it. "You're safe with me, Yuuri, you know that? You're ok..." The voice cooed. The deeper he sank into the warmth, the more the stinging in his eyes faded away, leaving a hollowness that yearned to be filled. He slowly opened his eyes and was met with the slightly-blurred image of an angel.

Or Victor: they were the same thing.

"There you go. You're ok." He rose both his hands to cup the tear-streaked cheeks, gently wiping away any stray drops with his thumbs. Yuuri left out a shaky sign, leaning further into the warm hold. He nearly froze when he was pulled into a warm embrace, arms tightening around his back and breath tickling his ear.

It was then that Yuuri noticed two things:

Number one: Somewhere in the midst of his episode, they'd sunken to the ground, so Viktor was now sitting, leaning up against the cabinets with a trembling Yuuri in his arms.
Makkachin was sniffing him worriedly.

Number two: He was, indeed, safe. At least he felt safe, tangled there in his fiancé's grasp. As if a bubble surrounded them, impenetrable to all the negatives in the world.

And so he laid there, comfortable, his body trembling slightly as his breathing calmed.

Peace was often calming to people. It meant an empty mind, a steady beat. A world all to themselves without a care to exist.

But here, it left Yuuri to his thoughts. And his thoughts, as he'd discovered the hard way, could be poison to the mind of the sane. So his mind wandered, wandered to the corners of his thoughts that had caused this in the first place. Walked smack into the heart of his unrest for the past weeks. His eyes, which had been resting shut in a placid manner, shot open, and he inhaled sharply. He pushed away.

Viktor cocked his head to the side, peering at him as stray tears slid from his bloodshot eyes. To say that he looked like absolute shit was an understatement: despite the extra sleep he'd received, dark bags still ran under his eyes, and his skin was too pale, sickly even. What concerned him the most was the darting of his eyes.

"Can you..." He rasped, taking a second to collect his thoughts and run his words through his head. "Can you wait here? I'll be right back." He stared up at Viktor, eyes glossy and wide.

"Of course, moya lyubov." Satisfied with this answer, Yuuri peeled himself from his side and slowly made his way over to the bedroom. In the meanwhile, Viktor stood from his seated position and brushed himself off. Yuuri walked in a minute later, an envelope in hand.

"What's that?" Yuuri didn't answer: instead, he turned to face Victor directly and shoved it into his chest.

"For you!" He muttered quickly, staring at the ground. Viktor took the envelope, immediately shocked at the sheer weight of it: it wasn't heavy by object standards, but compared to other envelopes, it was crap ton heavier. He peeked inside it.

"What the..." Inside was a stack of cash and change rummaging about the bottom. At a brief glance, it seemed like a few hundred bucks, but he knew it was more. "What is this?"

"I know it's probably not enough! I'll make more today. And tomorrow."

"Yuuri..."

"I..I'm sorry it's so late, but I just..."

"Yuuri!"

"There should be about 36.000 rubles in there, maybe more."

"Yuuri!!" Said man looked up suddenly, trembling slightly.

"Yes?"

"What...is this?" Now it was Yuuri's turn to look confused?

"Money?"

"Well I got that much but what for?"

"Your coaching fee?" Suddenly everything made sense. The restless nights. The disappearing for hours at a times. The flubbed jumps. The episode.

Of all the things at the world, never would he have expected this.

"Yuuri..." The envelope was placed on the counter, forgotten. He reached out and grabbed his two hands, forcing Yuuri to look up at him. "Why on earth would you ever think you needed to pay me a coaching fee?"

"Well at the Onsen you said..."

"That was over a year ago!"

"B-but I thought..."

"Yuuri... we're getting married. Cheesy as it might sound, your love is more than enough."

"That is cheesy." Yuuri giggled slightly, then sighed. "So...I don't have to pay you? Are you sure?? I can make enough money, I promise! I just..."

"God no. I haven't thought about that old fee since I said those words! Literally the only reason I said them was to seem more 'coach like!' I never intended to charge you!! Besides, I was the one who showed up unexpectedly..." He trailed off, his mind having reached yet another conclusion. "Wait so the reason you kept disappearing after practice was.."

"Guess I'll have to call my boss and tell him I quit. I hated that place anyways." Viktor blinked at him, throat running dry (unlike the rink after Chris skates.) He wasn't planning on dragging Yuuri into a suffocating bear hug, honest!! But his instincts took over. So he grew his arms around his fiancé and dragged him in.

"So you've been training tirelessly as well as working a job daily?? By yourself?" He sputtered into his shoulder.

"I-I mean, yeah."

"And your...episode was because..."

"I thought I didn't have enough."

"You're amazing, Yuuri, you know that?"

"No?"

"Well you should because it's true." A soft pink spread across Yuuri's cheeks at the words. He sank into the embrace, returning it gingerly. They remained there for what seemed like not nearly enough time, though by the shifting of the light was near half an hour. The only interruption was the growling of Yuuri's stomach.

"Well then!" Viktor exclaimed, holding Yuuri back by the shoulders. "Now that I think about it, you do owe me some."

"Wha...!" Yuuri sputtered, but was shushed.

"In order to pay me back, you need to do three things."

"Ok!!" Yuuri stood sharply, prepared to face whatever he had to.

"Your fee is..." The smirk that appeared on his face was slightly terrifying. "... for you to take care of yourself. 4 days or rest and rejuvenation."

...

"Uhh...what?"

"You heard me!" Viktor clapped his hands together. "I'm going to pamper you!!"

"But that's not how a fee works..."

"I'm not done." Yuuri's eye twitched. "You also owe me one thousand kisses, minimum."

"Of course there's a catch."

"Excuse me?!"

"Well you have to make it up to me!! I've missed your kisses over the past weeks. I've said what I said." His face lit up as if he were seeing the secrets of the universe. He clapped his hands again. "And now we eat!"

It was a pretty bland breakfast, in all honesty.

The rest of the day was spent cuddling and watching different movies, building a pillow fort, cooking Pork Cutlet Bowls (just this once) and overall filled to the brim with lovey fluffy couple things. It very pleasant, to say the least.

As the day came to close, and the two laid entangled with one another under the comfort of the bedsheets, Yuuri came to notice one thing.

He could breathe again.

~~~

Yeah I know the end was rushed. I admit it.

Yuuri's attack here was based off of a real life attack I had dealing with paying somebody back. I know it may seem a bit OOC for him, and I apologize for that. 😓