requested by Hehet_Atiny

The changes will start when Yunho is in the hospital. 

It happened again.

Yunho sighed as he looked down at the back of his left hand that had an IV needle as he slumped backwards, landing softly onto the pillow that had stacked behind him, the nurse had tilted up the upper bed moments ago. Yunho huffed, remembering what happened that had landed him in the hospital, again.

He had been feeling unwell 3 days ago and told the others. They believed him, but his fever wasn't that high thus he decided to just go along with them for schedules but the manager had given him special privileges, where he could stop anytime while recording or filming if he felt too tired to do so.

It was fine for the first 2 days, the other members, including his boyfriend, had treated him well, letting him rest and all whenever he needed it. The 3rd day where the problem arised. Things had gone bad since morning, everyone seems so stressed out because they didn't get enough sleep the previous night, unlike Yunho, who the manager had sent him to the bed before midnight with medication.

All of them minus Yunho had a scowl on their faces,all piled up in the big van enough for 10 making Yunho a bit guilty because he get to sleep earlier but really, his fever is still there so it wasn't much but he still felt guilty and tried to cheer his members up, by softly telling them, "You guys should sleep for a bit, we have 1 hour to the venue. I'll wake you guys up when we arrive."

Really, Yunho was just being nice, like he always does but the members took it as he was mocking all of them.

"Yeah, says you who get to sleep before midnight." Wooyoung scoffed, making Yunho gaped a little at him.

"Baby, just be quiet, you're not exactly helping right now." Mingi huffed as San nodded his head, agreeing with Mingi. "W-what do you mean by that?"

"We have to double the progress whenever you're not with us. So really, we're tired because of you too."

Yunho blinks at them and looks over to Mingi, hoping that his boyfriend doesn't agree with what San had said but then he remembered what Mingi had said too. "Y-you think that this is my fault too, Min?" Yunho whispered to Mingi and shockingly, Mingi nodded his head before huffing, "Yeah. Now just be quiet or you'll make it worse."

Yunho stayed silent for the entire ride and for the whole day too.

Yunho also forced himself to finish everything that day, lying to his manager that he's feeling better and that he could finish their schedules. Which led him to faint after the last schedule, while walking to their van to go back home. His fever spiked because he didn't let his body rest. Yunho didn't even remember what happened and he woke up alone in the hospital.

He sighed, staring at the white ceiling before he heard his door opened. Yunho weakly look over to the door and saw his manager walking towards him quietly. Yunho lips wobbled when he caught his manager's face. I'm in trouble again aren't I..? All you did was giving everyone a hard time, Yunho. Yunho thought before he burst into tears, spurting apologies to his manager. "M'sorry hyung.. I..T-they.. I d-didn't want to give them a h-hard time.."

To Yunho's shock, his manager didn't yell at him, he went to Yunho and sat next to the distressed boy instead and pulled him in gently, making Yunho cry even more in his manager's neck. "Am I in t-trouble again, hyung..?" Yunho mumbled, laying his head on his manager's shoulder. "You're not, pup. I'm angry at your boyfriend and your members, not you."

"Why..? I'm the one that makes a lot of trouble.."

"Because they pushed you to the edge, that's why. They shouldn't have said those things to you earlier because I know that they know you would do anything to please them. You're sick with fever, pup. You shouldn't even be present in these schedules but I let you because you begged me and you promised me that you would tell me if you're getting worse." His manager huffed, flicking Yunho's nose, gently, to indicate that he's a bit disappointed with him as he lied being better.

The manager caressed Yunho's hair quietly until Yunho started to speak.

"...Hyung?"

"Hmm?"

"Am I a bad person..?"

"What? What makes you think that, pup?"

"...I can't help feeling like I am.. All I did was give them a hard time with schedules.."

"You can't help with your low immunity system, pup. That's not your fault."

"...I don't know.. It feels like.. I'm not good enough... Am I hyung? Am I not good enough for Ateez anymore..?" Yunho mumbled, his eyes already full of unshed tears, looking very dejected.

"Who gave you all of these ideas, Yunho? Not good enough? Did someone tell you something that I didn't know of?"

"...No one.. I thought about it myself.. I mean I always fall sick and have to stay in the dorm and it makes things hard for the others as they have to reschedule everything and such.."

"I repeat it again, that is not your fault, pup."

"....But M-mingi and the others never said that to me.. Maybe they feel the same way as I am..? That I'm just a nuisance in Ateez.."

"Okay, stop right there, pup." His manager said, pulling himself a bit to look at Yunho properly. Yunho avoided his manager's eyes, looking at the blanket pooling at his waist instead. "You thought that you're a nuisance in Ateez?"

A small nod.

"And what will you do about it?"

"....leave..?"

His manager widened his eyes before composing himself and asked Yunho again, "How long did you feel this way, pup?"

"...I don't know when it started.. but it's been months.."

Yunho felt his manager cupped his face gently, and gave him a small kiss on top of Yunho's head making the younger burst into tears again, burying his face in his manager's neck once more. "I d-don't want to l-leave.. I l-love them so m-much hyung.. but i-if me l-leaving will help Ateez t-then I'm willing t-to do so.. I d-don't know if I c-can handle all o-of this anymore.."

"...Listen pup.. You're not in the wrong right now. You need to understand that. You are not at fault. At all. Okay? Don't blame yourself because it's not your fault. It's theirs."

Yunho chewed his lower lips, the habit he had whenever he's thinking hard or nervous. "W-what should I d-do then..?" Yunho whispered as he fumbled with his fingers, minding the IV drip on the back of his left hand. His manager thread his fingers through Yunho's lock gently, "First, we need to get your mindset right again. You'll need some therapy, pup. Will you do it? This is for your own good."

Yunho frowned. Therapy? Why..? "Why..?" Yunho voiced his question out loud.

"Because you need to know that all of this is not your fault and how you should think about yourself more than the others."

"....Okay.. I'll do it.." Yunho exhaled a long deep breath, looking at his manager with a new strong will which make his manager smile, ruffling his hair softly."Second, after you're done with the therapy and you still think that you don't belong in Ateez anymore, we will have a meeting with the higher ups. Okay? No pressure for you, don't worry about that." Yunho nodded his head slowly. "Third, we need to teach your members a lesson." Yunho tilted his head at that, staring at his manager with a very confused look. "How..?" Yunho mumbled with a pout.

"Trust me. Okay?"

"...Okay."

--

"What do you mean we can't go see Yunho??" Hongjoong looked at their manager, perplexed by what he just told them. His manager had his arms cross over his chest, looking at them with disappointment and nodding his head at Hongjoong's question. "You heard me right, all of you are forbidden to go see the pup until further notice."

"Not even at the dorm..?" Seonghwa asked quietly, he had known this thing would happen, all of them always took their rage towards Yunho just because that boy is the softest of them all. Seonghwa had reprimanded the others especially San and Mingi but they scoffed him away, only Yeosang seems to agree with him that they are being at it again with Yunho.

"Not even at the dorm. He'll be staying at a different dorm until we sort all of this out."

"It's that bad..?" Yeosang muttered while trying not to yell at the others for doing this to Yunho, again. Seriously, only Seonghwa and Yeosang who figured out months ago that they always took advantage of Yunho softness and both of them had stopped doing so but the others still couldn't see that Yunho was not alright, not even his goddamn boyfriend realized about it.

"It's already a mild one. We don't want it to reach the high line so the higher ups agreed to do this."

"What do you mean?" Mingi frowned as he didn't understand any of it.

"We did this to him, Mingi. No. You guys did this to him. Me and Seonghwa hyung had tried telling you guys to stop but you guys didn't." Yeosang huffed and rolled his eyes when the others only gave him a confused stare.

"He wanted to leave Ateez." The manager suddenly announced, making the others widened their eyes and gasped. "We took him to the psychiatrist and the result was Yunho is currently having a mild depression and anxiety. He thought that all of this was his fault, that his low immunity system is his fault. He even thought that he is only a nuisance in Ateez. Now tell me, how did he come to think like that? That boy was a ball of sunshine since he entered KQ but look at him now? Who's fault is that? Any idea boys?"

Everyone lowered their gaze to the ground, finally understood what was happening.

"When will you boys realize that words could damage a person? Do you want something serious to happen to Yunho to finally wake up? You guys could say that it wasn't your intention or you didn't mean any of your words the next day after you spewed nonsense to the poor boys but do you realize what it does to Yunho? He told me he kept hearing those words even after you guys apologize and that he couldn't stop it and it's only getting worse because he believed those words with all of his heart."

"B-but we apologized to him!" San retort, still having his pride and ego on the line.

"You think that will solve what you brats did to him?? YOU BOYS INSULTED HIM, SPEWING NONSENSE TO HIM, HURT HIM WITH WORDS AND PUSHED HIM TO THE EDGE WITH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH. DO YOU REALLY THINK AN APOLOGY CAN MAKE IT BETTER?" The manager hissed and took a deep breath to calm down. "Not to mention, you guys did this all the time. It's not a one time thing, these had been going for months. You guys broke him down and expect for him to heal the same without any marks left in him? You broke a fucking plate and even if you glued them back together, you could still see the lines marred the once broken plate. Just because Yunho didn't say anything to any of you, that didn't mean it didn't leave scars in him!"

"C-can't I go see him for a while, hyung? Please?" Mingi pleaded, wanting nothing but to be on his knees and begging Yunho to forgive him for being such an asshole towards his own baby, again. "No, he doesn't want to see you right now. He told me that he always ALWAYS thought that you'll be at his side, defending him from the others' harsh words but you joined them instead. He doesn't even know if he is truly your 'baby' or 'boyfriend' anymore Mingi."

Mingi bit his lips, swallowing the sob that threatened to come out of his mouth. There's no use crying right now, he's fucking too late. "I'm so so sorry baby.." Mingi whispered to himself as the others, minus him, Seonghwa and Yeosang tried to talk to their manager in letting them see Yunho.

"No means no. Maybe 2 months without Yunho will finally open your eyes. Yes, boys. Yunho will take 2 months of hiatus from Ateez and KQ and it's not even the final decision, we'll see how he fares after 2 months and decides after. As of now, you'll continue to promote with 7 members." The manager stated. "And maybe all of you will have some therapy sessions as well, no excuses. If you want Yunho back, then you guys have to work for it and make sure that none of this will happen again. Oh, I must say that Yunho didn't even know if he wants to be in Ateez anymore, so if he decided to leave, KQ won't stop him."

The others gaped at their manager, not believing what they just heard but they could only lower their gaze in shame when the manager glared back at them.

--

[BREAKING] YUNHO OF ATEEZ WILL BE ON HIATUS TO RECOVER FROM HEALTH ISSUES, ATEEZ TO CONTINUE PROMOTING WITH 7 MEMBERS!

--

"...So I'm not a nuisance in Ateez..?" Yunho mumbled, playing with his sweater paws as he sat on the couch in the living room, his knees close to his chest. The psychiatrist had come to the dorm where Yunho is staying as it makes Yunho less anxious than the actual office.

"No, pup. You're not a nuisance. You are just a very nice boy. Too nice, pup."

"...Because I love them.."

"I know, but that doesn't mean that you could sacrifice everything for them and didn't get anything in return. Love is a big word so they have big responsibilities too. When you love, you have to give and take, you can't only do one of it, you have to do both. It's the same for the others too. When you only give but you don't take, it won't work, it's the same vice versa."

"...I don't know what to do.." Yunho mumbled, his lips wobbled as tears ran down on his cheeks and he shakily wiped it with his sweater paws. He missed them, but he needed to do this right and only then he could see them again. He missed Mingi so much and even though Mingi had hurt him again, he still loves him.

"You need to start focusing on yourself. Your well-being and the love you have for yourself."

"H-how do I do that?" Yunho sobbed, pulling his knees even closer to his chest and huffed, putting his chin on his knees.

"For now, take care of yourself. Eat properly, relax your body and mind. Do something that makes you happy. Don't think about your boyfriend and members for now. You have to focus on yourself first."

"...I'll try.."

--

The practice studio seems so quiet now, all of the members quietly get on with their routine, none of them tried to cheer the others as usually it would be Yunho's job. They painfully realized how Yunho was the one who always cheered them up without asking, throwing his body into doing anything that could make them laugh and do practices without stress.

They started practicing after Hongjoong told them to and after 4 hours of dancing, Hongjoong stops the music as the others sprawled on the floor, trying to catch their breaths. "I can't get the footing right!! Yunho you have to help me after this, please!" Wooyoung yelled suddenly while lying on the floor before he remembered that Yunho is not there with them. "Oh.. Nevermind.."

The members sighed, it's not the first time someone slipped about Yunho and it made them realize how important Yunho is in their lives but they fucked it up and couldn't do anything about it for now.

"I want Yunho hyung back.. I missed him.." Jongho mumbled while playing with the hem of his shirt. He might be one of the members that didn't throw some harsh words towards Yunho, but he didn't stop the others either so he felt like he's in the wrong too. "We all do, Jongho-ya. We all do.." Seonghwa said, patting Jongho's head.

"Mingi, Yunho didn't reply to your messages or pick up your call? At all? Not even once?" San asked and everyone suddenly looked at Mingi with expectations but they all sigh when Mingi bit his lips, shaking his head. "No.. I don't think his phone is with him.."

"Can't we do something? Anything?" Wooyoung said as he really missed his friend and wanted to apologize on his knees so badly. Hongjoong had been quiet since Yunho's hiatus, he only talk when needed and he usually spent his time in his studio, trying to take off his mind how he is a bad leader, that he didn't see how Yunho was struggling to the point that he fell into depression but he did went to the manager and ask about Yunho's well-being whenever he could.

"The right thing to do now is to let Yunho be. He needs to recover from us. Unless, if Yunho asked for us then we could go see him. For now, we should do our job properly, go to the therapy and start to mind our words whenever we talk." Hongjoong said after minutes of silence in the studio.

"Yeah, and we really need to remember not to lash out at people whenever we're tired because even if you like it or not, they are tired too and maybe more, for example like Yunho, he had a fever, yet he still came with us and just because manager hyung sent him to sleep earlier than us, that doesn't mean that he's fully rested. His body still needs to fight the fever. For fuck sake, if I'm having a fever I'm sure as hell don't want to go to schedules and just sleep for 3 days straight but what did Yunho do? He fucking go through with most of our schedules yet we still had the nerve to yell at the pup just because we had to re-organize some of the dance or some shit for the recording." Yeosang reprimanded his members making San, Wooyoung and Mingi feel guilty once more.

"...I don't want to say this but.. We also should prepare ourselves for the worst outcome.." Seonghwa muttered softly.

"What do you mean, hyung?" Wooyoung paled.

"....Yunho might leave Ateez.." Seonghwa sighed making San vigorously shake his head, "No! He won't! He won't leave us! He won't leave Mingi! He- he can't.. R-right..?" San faltered at the end, no longer confident with himself.

No one answered him, not even Mingi.

They went back home feeling hollow for the first time as their mind kept on repeating the words that Seonghwa had said.

Yunho might leave Ateez.

--

2 months turns into 4 months.

Mingi and the others haven't seen Yunho at all and they're getting anxious. What will happen to them? For Mingi, what will happen to his relationship with Yunho? He still loves Yunho but he knew how he had fucked it up so bad and he won't be that surprised if Yunho decided to end it. Maybe we're already over, it's been 4 months and I still couldn't go see him or even talk to him over the phone..

Mingi sighed, looking over to everyone in the room, except for Hongjoong who had stayed in his studio since 3 days ago. The others are lounging in the living room, but no one really looks like they are happy. They had gone to therapy and had been on their best behaviour but all of them finally realized how they had broken Yunho and the guilt never really faded.

It still lingers, no matter how much they tried to get rid of it.

Mingi tried to concentrate on the TV when their door opened. Hongjoong came in, refusing to look at anyone and Mingi could see how his eyes were red. Mingi frowned and he was about to ask Hongjoong when he stopped walking completely, when he saw Yunho entering the dorm quietly behind Hongjoong, along with their manager.

Mingi felt like crying, Yunho looked thinner and he didn't even smile or look at him. Everyone is paying attention to Yunho now, but no one dared to move closer to him. Yunho sighed softly, glancing towards Hongjoong and his lips wobbled when he saw that Hongjoong's eyes were tearing up again. He took a deep breath and looked at the others.

"I'm.. I don't think I b-belong in Ateez anymore.." Yunho announced. Everyone gasped as Hongjoong cries softly.

"N-no.. B-bab- Y-Yunho-ah.. Please tell me you're joking? Please.." Mingi pleaded, walking slowly to Yunho but he stopped when Yunho flinched, hard and stumbled backwards to the manager that was standing behind him.

The manager put his hands on Yunho's shoulder, supporting the younger as he talked to the others, "I'm sorry boys, it looks like Yunho's mental health was severe.. We did everything for him to feel alright again but he needs more time.. After a lot of meetings with the higher ups, Yunho decided to leave Ateez.."

"NO!" San shouted, making Yunho flinch again but he stayed put and waited for San to come to him as he saw him walking fast towards him. "Please don't leave us! We're sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry for treating you like shit when all you did was being an angel! I was wrong! I promised I won't do it again! Just please don't leave us! It'll never be the same! Ateez won't be the same without you Yunho-ah!"

"I'm still not okay, Sanie-ah.. I can't do this to Ateez.. I don't know when I'll be alright again.. I tried.. I tried so hard.. B-but.. The voices won't stop.. The memories won't go away.. I'm too afraid to live together with you guys right now.. Too afraid to work together with you guys.. I'm sorry.."

"You're afraid of us..?" Wooyoung asked quietly, he trembled as he tried to not burst into tears. Yunho bit his lips, nodding softly, "I am.. I don't like feeling this way but I can't do anything right now.. I'm in constant fear that you guys would suddenly yell at me again.. I just c-can't right now.."

"Can't we make it up to you, hyung..?" Jongho went to Yunho and hugged him. Yunho hugged him back softly, running his hand on Jongho's back as he felt the younger tremble in his hold. "You can but I think it's best if I leave, so Ateez can start properly again. I'll still be in KQ though." Yunho reasoned softly, his own tears running down on his cheeks.

"So we can still see you sometimes?" Yeosang muttered, he already had the feeling that it would end like this, Yunho leaving them. Yunho nodded his head as Yeosang came to him and hugged him after Jongho pulled away. "Yes, you guys can still come see me, it's just that I don't trust myself..and I don't trust you guys.. that these things won't happen again.. I need more time.." Yunho sighed as Yeosang nodded his head in understanding.

"Can we call you?" Seonghwa went up to Yunho and the younger opened his arm for the older to hug him. "You can, I have my phone again. I won't ignore any of you guys anymore."

Yunho looked at Mingi after Seonghwa pulled away, he already talked to Hongjoong in the car, they had already cried together and how Hongjoong apologized to Yunho for being a bad leader and Yunho told him that it's not really his fault but everyone's fault, including himself. Hongjoong had told Yunho that he'll wait for him to feel alright again living and working together as Ateez, no matter how long it would be, he will wait and that Ateez's door will always open for Yunho to enter.

"Min?" Yunho softly went to Mingi while the latter stood still, too afraid to move, thinking that if he moved, Yunho would run away. "Can we talk privately?" Yunho asked, looking at the other and the manager. They nodded and told him to go talk in Mingi's room so Yunho gently took Mingi's wrist and led them to the latter's room.

"Are we breaking up..?" Mingi mutters once they are alone in his room. "Do you want to?" Yunho asked back, making Mingi vigorously shake his head. Yunho softly cupped Mingi's face, "I don't want to either but maybe we should take it slow? Hm?"

"I'll do anything. If you want to take it slow, then we'll take it slow. Just please don't leave me.. You're already leaving Ateez, I don't know what I will do if you'll leave me too.."

"I love you too much to leave you.."

"...Despite everything I did..?"

"Yes, despite everything you did to me. I still love you and I've been thinking a lot about us. I don't want to break up but I'm also afraid that you will hurt me again."

"I'm sorry.. I still love you too, Yun.. I'll do whatever you suggest for our relationship, I want the best for us, for you."

Yunho nodded, wiping away the tears on Mingi's cheeks while the other pulled him in for a hug. They hugged for a while, missing each other, and Mingi kissed Yunho softly on the forehead. Yunho then leaned in and kissed Mingi on the lips. After some minutes, they pull away, Mingi is holding Yunho's hands gently.

"Call me whenever you want, no matter what time and if you need me, I'll come to you as soon as I can. Okay?" Mingi said, caressing Yunho's hands softly.

"Even if you're in the middle of a schedule?"

"Yes, I'll fight my way to go to you, no matter what."

"I'll keep that in mind." Yunho sighed, he should go, he still had to go to therapy the next morning, "I should go.. I have a therapy session again tomorrow morning.. I think you guys will have a meeting tomorrow, to re-organize everything.."

Mingi pursed his lips, he doesn't want Yunho to leave yet but he won't push the taller so he nodded his head and both of them walked out of the room.

"I should go.." Yunho muttered softly and the others had to hold themselves back from saying things that will make things worse.

"Remember Yunho-ah, Ateez will always have a place for you, no matter when. We'll wait for you to come back again, one day." Hongjoong said, giving a small smile to Yunho and the younger nodded his head.

"Thank you, hyung. One day." Yunho smiled at them before walking out of the dorm with his manager and the other watched him while huddling together.

All of them only have one thing in their mind, that one day Ateez will be Ateez again, with Yunho in it and for now, they have to be strong and wait for the day to come.

One day.

--

[BREAKING] YUNHO OF ATEEZ WILL STEP DOWN FROM THE GROUP TO FOCUS ON HIS HEALTH AND ATEEZ WILL CONTINUE TO PROMOTE WITH 7 MEMBERS FROM NOW ON

--End--

I didn't post this alternate ending in AO3 so if you guys found this alternate version on there or similar to this and it is not by me, please let me know. Thank you pups.