I always talk about the importance of critiquing, so this how-to will provide guidelines and examples of how to critique a story.

You have to be VERY careful of giving out critiques like the ones I talk about here to others. A lot of users here don't take criticism well, and you'll end up getting attacked. My suggestion is to only give out critiques like this to a friend who you know will appreciate getting their writing ripped apart. Even if a person says they want a harsh critique, they may not be emotionally ready for one. I've seen someone post their writing on a critique thread (on another website), and when it was critiqued, the author lashed out at the critic for being too “critical”. So make sure you specify to the person exactly how in-depth you plan on critiquing, and make sure they agree, before leaving a critique. Critiquing is a very messy business, emotionally, for many authors. It's because of all the backlash I've gotten from people whom I've left critiques for that I now only critique books for three of my friends whom I know appreciate it.

Also keep in mind this method of critiquing is my personal method. There are so many different styles of critiques that you can try out, and this is just one of them. If this doesn't fit your style, feel free to try out another.

There are my warnings and disclaimers, so now let's move on to the actual how-to.

1. The opening line disclaimer. It's always a good idea to post a disclaimer at the top of the critique to let the author know a little about your critiquing style. I like to start with, “I do not sugarcoat, and I rarely point out things done well unless they blew my mind. This is my personal opinion, so feel free to disregard anything you don't agree with.” Make sure the author is aware you aren't forcing them or demanding they follow your suggestions. A critique is your opinion, and they have every right to disagree with it.

Other things you can talk about are letting them know you don't mean to sound harsh if it comes across that way. If you write a review based on elements (e.g. one section on characters, another on plot, another on flow/pacing, another on grammar and style, etc.), maybe you can mention that. I've seen someone have a 10 point rating scale for each section and then tally up a score at the end. My personal critiquing style is go line-by-line and critique as I read with an overall thoughts section at the end, though some people read the entire thing and leave their overall thoughts at the end. So however you want to format your critique, go ahead.

2. Avoid talking to the author. Have you ever received a comment where someone talks about all the things YOU did wrong? All the mistakes YOU made? When a critique uses the word “you”, it's (usually) personally attacking the author, even if the critic didn't mean it like that. That's how it comes across. I'll show you the difference in the following examples:

“You did a lot of telling in the first paragraph.” vs. “The first paragraph had a lot of telling in it.”

“You use semicolons wrong. ” vs. “A semicolon was used incorrectly in this sentence.”

“You go on to say she groaned a second time, and that was really annoying.” vs. “The overuse of the phrase 'he/she groaned' makes the character sound annoying and whiny. Consider a different action to show their frustration such as, ____.”

Hopefully you see a stark difference in tone between each pair. The first sounds attacking and mean, and the other sounds a bit nicer and more professional. The first will likely earn you a rude reply from the author.

Of course, there will be some instances where using “you” is unavoidable, and that's okay. Especially if you're making a side comment to the author, who is a close friend of yours. For example, my friend tends to overwrite descriptions on unimportant things, so I always jokingly tease her about that. If I'm actually talking to her at that point in the critique, a “you” or two might slip out. Just try to avoid “you” whenever possible in the actual criticism. When it's not possible, don't worry about it. (note, I use “you” quite a bit in my how-to's because I am actually talking to you readers. I am not critiquing your writing. A critic should talk about the writing, not the author.) If, however, you are praising something about the story, it's actually a nice gesture to use "you" and speak directly to the author. e.g. "I love how you have such a big contrast in personalities between the protagonists. It sets up the conflict beautifully."

3. Never tell the author what to do. Remember point #1 where you said this is all your opinion. You can't force your opinion on anyone else, so use phrases to show what you're saying is a suggestion rather than something the author has to do or can't do. For example, if a passage has too many adjectives, a way to tell the author this might be: “The opening paragraph uses too many adjectives to the point where the meaning of the sentence is lost. Consider cutting a few adjectives.” If a scene has too many filtering words, you may want to phrase your suggestion as, “Words like “he saw, she noticed, they felt, etc.” are considered filtering words, and they distance the reader from the protagonist's head. This scene would do well in a very deep pov, so it may be better to avoid filtering words.”

So words like “consider”, “avoid”, “it might/may be better”, “generally”, etc. are good to use. Those words signal what you're saying is a suggestion, not a rule. They show both sides of the argument and show you as a critic are aware your opinion may not be the best one. They show you as a critic know there might be another option other than the one they're outlining.

When you say things like, “This paragraph was boring and irrelevant. Cut it.” or “You need to open this story with an action scene, not how you did it.” you generally sound much harsher and single-minded. This is when authors get annoyed or hurt, and a negative relationship may start to blossom between them and you. When you can avoid hurting someone's feelings, AVOID IT!

4. Try to have a balance of positive and negative comments. If everything you say is negative, the author will feel like crap at the end. Try to point out at least one or two things the author did well (here is where using “you” is acceptable). My critiques tend to lean heavily toward criticism, though I still try to throw in a couple lines of praise where I can.

Those were my guidelines for writing your critique. Next, my good friends Limpid-Purity and Ironie were kind enough to let me use their critiques of my story, Citali, as examples to show you guys what a good critique is. Just keep in mind we're all great friends, so these are very informal critiques that probably don't adhere to my aforementioned guidelines very well. But they were still very insightful, so this is the kind of depth and analysis I'd like you all to have in your critiques.

We'll start with Limpid-Purity's. Though she hasn't read this how-to yet, her critique generally does stick to this how-to's guidelines:

VI:

You know my usual style, so I'll jump straight into the review.:) Just general things this time. ^__^

Reid's hesitation to make the small flame makes sense.:) And it's very realistic.

I don't understand why Ezri and Garron have that attitude towards Reid. I mean, I get they must be frustrated with Reid's hesitancy, but Reid *is* Citali's familiar. What's Citali supposed to do without him? She'd be almost dead weight as well unless she has hand-to-hand fighting skills or something (which she doesn't seem she has). It doesn't make sense that they'd treat him that way. I would've expected them to be annoyed Reid's new to magic, but without that whole 'Reid's worthless' thing./: It might be part of their character, but it doesn't make sense the way it's presented, at least.

Reid went from 'omgthemagicwhereisit I'm going to die if I don't find it' to 'EPIPHANY the energy is so beautiful' waaay too fast. xD I get his train of thought, but consider having both feelings mixed together--the terror of not being able to find it (and almost dying because of it) mixed with the wonder when he does find it. So afterwards there'd be the wonder, but he's still reeling from earlier. Fingers still shaking, trying to calm down.

Reid's reaction to the Daraskus rumour is too... no reaction. xD He doesn't seem to be amazed or hopeful. it's like. 'Oh, one of the greatest rulers ever could have been a familiar? Like me?! Okay.' *carries on* xD
I'd expect him to be clinging on to that hope. Or at least for the hope, the possibility that he could be normal again, gnaw at his mind. And maybe from that tangent go on to the whole 'I WAS normal' thing and his family and whatnot.

There's a lot of tension in this chapter. And although it was mostly them running around it was still a good read.:D

I seriously love how Reid's just looking for clothes to cover himself and everyone's like 'YOU ARE A GENIUS'. And he's just... confused. xD

And here's Ironie's. You'll note she breaks many of the guidelines I stated, and so her comments sound a lot harsher and meaner. (But that's honestly just how she talks. :P And I'm completely honored she even took the time to comment so in-depth like that! She's really a lovely person. You should all get to know her. And Limpid. And read their stories because they're wonderful /shamelessplug) You can hopefully see the stark difference in tone from Limpid-Purity's critique, and now you know why. I would not suggest you write a critique in the same tone as this unless you're verrrry good friends with the person, like me and Ironie are. But do pay attention to what she's saying in this critique, as she has some of the best insights for writing. 

"A witch lived in the woods behind Reid du What's-his-face's house."
I like that first sentence. It isn't a car chase or a description overload of the MC, which I like. It's interesting and it sets the concept of the story right off the bat. But then came this:
"She'd killed a child or stolen a child's soul or something of the like."
As much as I like the cavalier tone of this sentence, the redundancy puts me off (no, I'm not referring to the fact that "child" is repeated twice, though that's a factor.) It's that you have an opportunity to show us some more scope about what witches are perceived to do. "Killed a child" and "stole a child's soul" are too similar and means the same thing at this point in the story.

The cow line of dialogue is funny. If you meant to go for that, that's awesome, but if you meant to sincerely show how the attitudes toward witches are, this crashes and burns. Fran seems like more of a caricature than anything, so I'm going to go with the former.

I mean, seriously, how could you take someone with that long of a name seriously? (Actually, I have a 12-word full name.)

"only augmented the avian image"
This is poor description. The reader should be able to see her as a bird based on how you describe her and how you use imagery and verbs, not that "OH SHE LOOKS LIKE A BIRD GAIIIIIZ!"

Fran's dialogue is still hilarious, even without the snarky commentary from Reid. THE COW IS THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMEL'S BACK, GUYS!

"The people . . . you run like hell."
This sentence doesn't make any sense. The narrative, literally a page ago, told us that Reid thinks this witch stuff is a bunch of horseshit, yet here he's thinking Franny is dumb for pursuing something he doesn't perceive as dangerous?

"unruly, black hair"
No. You can say the hair is unruly, but black has no meaning to this scene.

"A divorce was shameful to high class people like her and her family."
Cut that out. Social norms are more powerful when you show them, not tell them, especially when they're coming from a world where, you know, they're normal.
It's the equivalent of me writing "I had to distance myself from her, as it was clear that she was shifting away from me. In America the conversation distance can't be this close."

"with slick-black hair"
I don't care...

"And a nose far too pointed for good looks"
What the hell does that mean?
And why would you describe Orvic when he's not going to be much of a major player, if he even appears at all in the story?

"blonde"
Stop describing hair color, for the love of god. Unless you were going for the whole "dumb blonde" thing, but even then, still rather meh.

"sly eyes?"
Uh. How is that action even sly?
"Sly"
1) Adjective Having or showing a cunning and deceitful nature.
2) (of a remark, glance, or facial expression) Showing in an insinuating way that one has some secret knowledge that may be harmful or...: "he gave a sly grin"
It contrasts with what I might think of the action. Franny's dialogue sounds whiny. It doesn't sound sly, and I don't know why she would make a sly facial expression, especially being so oblivious to the fact that Reid does not like her.
By the way, how old is she? My guess would be around nine years old because of how she acts, but that's totally not what you're going for, otherwise, creepy. Esp. since the narrative classifies her as a girl, and from Reid's age reference . . . yikes. That's really young.
She's 15-16, but she probably wouldn't act like thisbecause societies with lower marriage ages tend to produce more mature people at a young age.
If you still don't get my point: a sixteen-year-old just starting high school in America is not going to have the same maturity level and way of thinking as someone who is going to be expected to hold a household at 17ish. They'd act much like adults.

I'm not saying that it's impossible for someone to be brain dead, I'm just saying I'd like a better in-world explanation for it. I'm still not sure how I feel about Franny being portrayed as you portray her as of now (redundant, but it's a comment, so I don't care!) I'm starting to dislike it.

"He looked at her and snorted"
Isn't he trying to quite deliberately make a good impression? He tried to hide all his physical reactions to her before.

"black hair into his face"
Ah, the return of the black hair. Wonderful.

Hahahaha snake. I love that part. It reminds me of when Wile-E Cyote is thrust into a cactus.

Reid's reaction to Citali is rather nonsensical especially given his characterization so far. Also, the only thing we hear of witches being scary is Franny, who is a dumb blonde. Yeah, there is that bit at the bit at the beginning (no real showing how society at large hates dem witches other than bimbo Franny, so it's not a real strong part of the worldbuilding), but it doesn't justify Reid's reaction. In fact, I would expect the part where he just assumes she's some girl who colored her hair to go first, and THEN something else freaks him out. (Like her knowing his name.) But as of right now, this entire segment sounds really out-of-character.

But YES. HAIR COLOR THAT MEANS SHIT.

That accent paragraph;;
I still have no idea what accent she speaks with. It sounds like a more personal way of speaking, not a specific accent from a specific region.

Errrrrrm. I'm not sure if Reid would take so kindly to that--if it's even natural, that is. You could say it's magic and familiars know each other, but I feel this veers into "I DON'T KNOW YOU BUT I'M COMFORTABLE WITH YOU BABYING ME NOW" thing. Happens way too fast for a first meeting, considering how slow the narrative was while he was talking to Fran, someone he already knew.

"go to hell for this"
For some reason I don't think an Abrahamic concept of hell would develop in this world. (I really hope this is not an all-religions-are-exactly-the-same sort of thing.)

Anyhow, I feel the distrust Reid should feel at Citali at the end, but I feel it's misplaced and not where it should have been at the start. I do think the pacing was too fast for this--maybe not for the first few segments with Franny, but definitely at the part with Citali. I like the narrative a lot--the transitions were done particularly well. It's just . . . too fast, too eager to get into its gears that it leaves me behind.

I have a few things to say about Citali's characterization--I think putting a bit of Franny's current way of speaking into her dialogue would add into her whole "innocence" thing--making more blunders and maybe not using the best choice of words. Can't say much about her from this chapter. The contrast with Reid should be interesting, though.

So I hope you all learned a thing or two about in-depth critiquing!

Let me end by making clear that, no, I will NOT critique your book. Please do not ask.