Mark:
Oh. You need a bandaid on that.

Dodger:
Or a butt load of iodine.

Dave:
I'm not going to make it...am I?

Dodger:
Nope.

Mark:
No, no, no you're going to be fine! Look we're gonna stay the night here. You're gonna get all better. It'll be just like a sleepover!

Enis:
I love sleepovers!!

Mark:
Vampire!

Enis:
Where?!
Oh you smell...good.

Dodger:
Mark, you got to kill the last one!

Mark:
Nah nah. No that was a Warlock. This is a...--

Enis:
Devilishly handsome sparkling vampire named Enis!

Mark:
Shut up.

Dave:
*Groans in pain*

Enis:
Is he going to be ok?

Mark:
I don't know you tell me.

Enis:
Well it looks like he was bitten by a Hellhound so...probably not!

Dodger:
Cool. Then I'm just going to kill this guy.

Enis:
Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait! I can Save your friends life!

Dodger:
How can we trust a blood sucking vampire?

Enis:
Simple, I'm a vegan. I don't eat anything with a face!
I generally tear the face off first.

Mark:
Oh, I feel safer already...

Enis:
I can fix your friend up lickitly split! Just let me grab my magical spell book! 

Enis:
Chapter 54, page one hundred and five
Create a hellhound antidote and keep your victim alive
It says to cover one eyeball and... the other one too

Dodger:
What for?

Enis:
That's what the book says to do
We'll need a pile of raisins and a magical word
I like to use the term "Linguine" 'cause it's pretty absurd
And once we found ourselves some raisins, poor them into a shoe
Then flick your ear - that's what the book says to do!
We have to iron a cactus, stick a bee in your nose

(Mark:
Ahhhhhh!!)

Enis:
And then we'll eat a plate of flapjacks, Draw some faces on toes
We'll all hold hands until they're sweaty, we'll pretend we can fly
And if we don't - we'll die!
I made that part up.
Here, hold this!

Mark:
It looks diseased....

Enis:
Now you take a creepy baby doll and shake it all around
Then you shriek like a weasel while you flail on the ground
And once we've done that for two hours, throw that baby down the stairs
Then we'll hit each other with metal chairs

(Mark:
What-ooof!)

Dodger:
I'm having second guesses about this spell-casting stuff

Mark:
Okay, I found a couple tutus...

Enis:
That's not nearly enough!
Next we'll scatter someone's ashes as we throw a parade
And then we'll sit and have a séance while we're playing Old Maid
Wear a big hat
Drink from this jar

Mark & Dodger:
None of this song makes sense so far!

Enis:
I hope I have some chickens left!

Mark:
I don't know what he's up to, but it's certainly weird

Dodger:
He keeps asking for toenails...

Mark:
...and a leprechaun beard!

Dodger:
I don't think we should trust him, he's completely insane

Mark:
And all the nonsense we're doing seems expressly inane

Dodger:
Oh, We should totally kill him!

Mark:
Yeah, it seems like you're right

Dodger:
I mean, he looks pretty puny...

Mark:
Won't be much of a fight

Dodger:
We can sneak up behind him!

Mark:
Drive a stake through his heart!

Dodger:
Do your worst!

Mark:
Ladies first!

Mark & Dodger:
If you won't impale him, then Enis will start a new verse!

*Enis comes back playing a kazoo*

Dodger:
*Sighs* I might cut his head off...

Mark:
He's a vampire. It won't necessarily kill him.

Dodger:
It will definitely make playing the kazoo a lot harder!

Enis:
We've gotta whittle a pickle, eat some parmesan cheese
and then we'll all watch a movie

<Movie:
Oh no not the bee's!!>

Enis:
And next we take out the garbage
Summon hellbeasts from space
And then, when the portal closes
pull his sleeve up to expose his
wounded arm and
Kiss your friend's dead face!

Mark:
What?

Enis:
Kiss his face...?

Mark:
No! That's disgusting!

Enis:
It's what the book says to do...

Mark:
We did like 5,000 things from the book ok!

Dodger:
Ok so could we just eat part of him?

Mark:
NO! UGH!

Dodger:
I was just trying to help...

Mark:
Ok...alright fine. *Quickly kisses Dave*

Dodger:
I ship it.

Mark:
He's still dead!

Enis:
Are you sure he's not just sleeping...?

Mark:
You have 5 seconds to fix this.

Enis:
Oh wait wait wait I was reading the spell...backwards!! Ok everybody one more time...in reverse!!

Dodger:
Ugh!!!

Enis:
Let's expel our space-bound hellbeasts
And we'll take out the trash
We'll watch a flick and eat some cheese
And cut a pickle and dash
Inside to play kazoo and wear a hat
Use metal chairs like baseball bats
And flail and fly and paint all your toes
We'll eat some flapjacks and stick bees in your no- uh, never mind
We'll grab a shoe to fill with snacks
And flick your ear with sneak attacks
And scream "Linguine!" to the max
so here it goes!

Mark:
*Kisses him*

Dave:
*Still Dead*

Mark:
He's still dead.

Enis:
Really?! Weird, Backwards usually works...

Dodger:
Ok well this was fun. See you Dave sorry your still dead.

Mark: You SUCK at being a vampire!

Enis:
I appreciate your honesty! You guys want some music for the road?

Mark:
Shut up!

Enis:
Do you want to hear my yodeling?

Dodger:
No one likes you!

Mark:
You smell like an anus!