I wasn't taught how to get a job
But I can remember dissecting a frog
I wasn’t taught how to pay tax
But I know loads about
Shakespeare's classics

I was never taught how to vote
They devoted that time to
Defining isotopes
I wasn’t taught how to look after my health
But mitochondria
Is the powerhouse of the cell

Never spent a lesson on current events
Instead I studied The Old American West
I was never taught what laws there are
I was never taught what laws there are

Let me repeat -
I was not taught the laws
For the country
I live in
But I know how Henry the VIII
Killed his women
Divorced beheaded died,
Divorced beheaded survived
Glad that’s in my head
Instead of financial advice
I was shown the wavelengths
Of different hues of light

But I was never taught my human rights
Apparently there’s 30,
Do you know them?
I don’t
Why the hell can’t we both
Recite them by rote?!

I know igneous, metamorphic
And sedimentary rocks
Yet I don’t know squat about trading stocks
Or how money works at all -
Where does it come from?

How does the thing that motivates
The world function?
Not taught how to budget
And disburse my earnings
I was too busy rehearsing cursive

Didn’t learn how much it costs to raise a kid
Or what an affidavit is
But I spent days
On what the quadratic equation is
Negative b plus or minus
The square root of b squared
Minus 4ac over 2a
That’s insane,
That’s absolutely insane
They made me learn that over basic first aid

How to recognise
The most deadly Mental disorders
Or diseases with preventable causes
Or how to buy a house with a mortgage
If I could afford it
‘Cause abstract maths
Was deemed more important
Than advice that would literally
Save thousands of lives

But it’s cool,
‘Cause now I could tell you
If the number of unnecessary deaths
Caused by that choice was prime
Never taught present day
Practical medicines
But I was told what the
Ancient hippocratic method is

“I’ve got a headache, the pain is ceaseless
What should I take?”
Umm... maybe try some leeches?
“Could we discuss domestic abuse
And get the facts?"
Or how to help my depressed friend
With their mental state?”
Ummm... no but learn mental maths
Because “You won’t have a calculator
With you every day!”

They say it’s not the kids,
The parents are the problem
Then if you taught the kids to parent
That’s the problem solved then!
All this advice about using a condom
But none for when
You actually have a kid
When you want one

I’m only fluent in this language,
For serious?
The rest of the world speaks two,
Do you think I’m an idiot?
They chose the solar
Over the political system
So like a typical citizen now
I don’t know what I’m voting on
Which policies exist,
Or how to make them change

Mais oui, je parle un peu de Francais
So at 18,
I was expected to elect a representative
For a system I had never
Ever ever ever
Been presented with

But I won’t take it!
I’ll tell everyone my childhood was wasted!
I’ll share it everywhere
How I was “educated”
And insist these pointless things,
Don't Stay in School!