PAINKILLER
RUEL

'Cause you're my painkiller
When my brain gets bitter
You keep me close
When I've been miserable
And it takes forever
To let my brain get better
You keep me close
You keep me close

"Ah!" Jeongguk gasps himself awake for the umpteenth consecutive night. He breathes heavily for a few moments, mind racing as he realizes that Jimin who haunts his dreams is only a dream. A sweet, welcome dream in Jeongguk's sleep, a nightmare when he wakes up and realizes that he's gone. When he's finally awake and calm enough to process that he's sweat soaked and shaking, he gets out of bed and walks unsteadily to the bedside table, collecting a towel and his phone for some music while he takes his nightly shower. The clock reads 3:25.

The bathroom lights hurt his eyes as he strips himself of his clothing. His eyes go to his face, searching for a fine line beginning to form, but his skin is still smooth as satin and clear as glass. Not a single wrinkle to be found. He sighs and turns on his phone, only to squint at the screen when he sees small text that isn't normally there. His jaw drops when he realizes that he got a text, a notification from the dating app.

5 NEW MESSAGES FROM: choihaneul

Jeongguk hesitantly navigates his way to the app, struggling to find the messaging section, but when he finally does, Haneul's awful spelling and grammar practically slaps him across the face.

wow hhh hi did u mean to swipe right on me

because it is NOT fair that you can take a photo from that angle and still look that good

i think the half of your face that's in your profile photo is more attractive than my entire body, so

oop i'm spam texting you now

don't mind me i'll um let myself outtt

"Out of where?" Jeongguk mumbles, struggling to decipher her messages, but smiling a little when he thinks he realizes what she means. Cute, he thinks to himself, before trying his best not to make any typos as he responds.

I definitely intended to swipe right.

Feeling satisfied with his response, he thinks of Jimin. He wonders if he's proud of him. Sure, he's not certain about Haneul yet, but he's trying to move on. After decades of not looking, he's searching for his person, even though it pains him to know that Jimin can't be that person. He takes his shower with that and one other thought on his mind—the other being the girl with freckles and the bright smile and lack of capitalization. He towels himself dry when the sweat from his nightmare has flowed off his body and down the drain in rivulets. He throws on a pair of underwear and sweatpants before walking to his bed and slipping underneath the covers. He slides his wire glasses onto his nose.

The light from his phone hurts his eyes, but he prioritizes responding to Haneul, who texted back while he was in the shower—several times.

OH

U DID?

PLOT TWIST

let's start over since my first couple messages were um weird

hi jungkook good day to u

that was still weird but it's too late now

i should really think before i send things ha haaaaa

Though Jeongguk is still slightly perplexed by her odd punctuation, he finds how flustered she is to be amusing.

Good day to you as well.

Although, "good night" would be more appropriate.

not if u consider 3:45 AM to be morning 😎

wait why are YOU awake at the ass crack of dawn

The what?

THE ASS CRACK OF DAWN!!! THIS UNGODLY HOUR!!!

why are you up this early silly goose

Oh.

I couldn't sleep.

aw bby

oops is it to early for bby i don't wanna make u uncomfortable

Perhaps 8 AM would be more of a fitting time.

lol that was a bad joke but i appreciate it

I was not joking.

HAHAH you're a dork but like it's cute

you kinda text like siri talks

I have been told that before. How does Siri talk?

like a posh british man

Oh.

Thank you.

I think.

Why are you awake at this hour?

i have work in 15 minutes

kill me PLEASE

I would never kill you!

in that case i would say that i'd off myself

but then you'd probably call an ambulance and then i'd end up going to work anyways

That is rather morbid, and I do not condone this, but your employer certainly would not force you to work had you severe injury.

lol nonono jungkook

i work at the hospital

i'm a surgeon

well a surgical intern

Oh!

That's quite impressive.

it best be

i'll be in debt for student loans for med school for the rest of my life

so

hooray doctoring

Hooray.

what do you do jeongguk?

I make coffee.

I do not recall the word for the occupation.

OH

YOU'RE A BARISTA

THAT'S HOT

It can be if one is not careful.

I have burnt myself on coffee many a time.

omg you're adorable what

you text like someone's grandma who just learned how to work a smartphone

how can someone be so baby boy and so daddy at the same time

I do not understand.

I have no children.

Nor am I a child.

ASKAKKSKS

YOU'RE SUCH A CUTIE

I BET YOU TEXT BY POKING WITH ONE FINGER INSTEAD OF YOUR THUMBS

UWUWUWUW

What is this UWUWUWUW you speak of?

i'm devastated you're so innocent how can someone who looks like you be so pure i'm upset

I am sorry I upset you.

i-i

i have to go before i drop all my uwus

bye jeongguk, try and get some sleep so you aren't tired cutie

xoxoxoxoxo

Goodbye Haneul. Have a splendid day at work.

Jeongguk stares at his phone for a few seconds, debating whether that conversation went well or not. He only understood 60% of it, but Haneul seemed sweet. She was spastic and enthusiastic, and said a lot of things Jeongguk wasn't familiar with, but she was kind. He finds her bright personality incredibly endearing. She is no Jimin, at least from what Jeongguk can gather, but he knows that kind of love only happens once in a lifetime. Love. He can hardly even imagine love with Haneul, having only had only one conversation with her. The added lack of face-to-face interaction makes it even harder for him to grasp.

But there is a feeling in the pit of his stomach, one that makes his hands shake and his heart clench. He shouldn't be discouraged by how impersonal it felt to be talking through a screen, or how he was confused by her sayings and references. One conversation had occurred, and that wasn't enough to write Haneul off. Not yet, he couldn't give up yet. Not with the feeling of Jimin potentially looking down on him, encouraging him.

With that, Jeongguk shuts his eyes and attempts to sleep for a few more hours, mind full of bad punctuation, freckles, and UWUWUWUWs, whatever they are.

•••

"Hey, Jeongguk." Seokjin says, filling the coffee machines with the brown particles. Jeongguk has never liked coffee, being more of a tea kind of guy, but he still finds the process of steeping the ground up beans to produce the aromatic brown liquid fascinating.

"Good morning, sir." Jeongguk greets politely in response.

"For Christ's sakes, Jeongguk, how many times have I told you to call me Seokjin? Sir makes me sound old." Seokjin grumbles, half teasing, but Jeongguk is too oblivious to sarcasm nowadays that he begins to apologize profusely.

"My apologies, s—Seokjin." Jeongguk says, beginning the daily task of hefting the sacks of coffee beans from the back room to the front of the shop. His mind is still whirling from last night, partly due to fatigue, but partly because of the freckled surgical intern with a blinding smile and an equally dazzling personality. His mind drifts back to their conversation, and he remembers his confusion.

"Seokjin?" Jeongguk asks. Maybe Seokjin will help him understand, considering he's the one who told him to get a dating app in the first place.

"What's up, kiddo?" He responds, taking a sip of his own coffee.

"What—What's an UWUWUWUW?"

Seokjin spits out his coffee.

i loled writing this

ILY ALL I HOPE YOU ALL HAD A LOVELY HOLIDAY OR JUST DAY IF YOU DON'T CELEBRATE MAKE SURE TO DRINK ENOUGH WATER AND GET ENOUGH SLEEP!!!!

edited 05/08/20