THINKIN BOUT YOU
FRANK OCEAN

I've been thinkin' 'bout you
Do you think about me still? Do ya, do ya?
Or do you not think so far ahead?
'Cause I been thinkin' 'bout forever

"Seokjin." Jeongguk sighs, to no response. "Seokjin, please. It is not that funny." He says, and Seokjin still doesn't respond. He's too busy laughing his ass off, hunched over the countertop with Jeongguk's phone in hand. Jeongguk let him read his conversation with Haneul, but he's kind of regretting it now. "Seokjin, we need to open in five minutes, customers will be here soon." He tries once more, and Seokjin finally attempts to catch his breath.

"Jeongguk, what the fuck?" Seokjin sighs out. "Do you not understand sarcasm? Jesus, I'm surprised the poor girl didn't block you on sight." He laughs out, and Jeongguk sighs. He would ask what "block" means, but he has a feeling Seokjin will only laugh.

"I do not, unfortunately—never mind. Pretend as if it was that I never asked." Jeongguk only murmurs, biting his lower lip. Seokjin's smile fades slightly as he realizes how Jeongguk really doesn't know any of the things he's asking about. Jeongguk is odd, Seokjin knows that. He's old fashioned, very naive, and too selfless to inconvenience anyone in clarifying what he's confused about. Jeongguk is an enigma, but one Seokjin is willing to figure out. The "older" man walks over to Jeongguk and puts a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey. I'm sorry, that was really insensitive of me." He apologizes, and Jeongguk's wide doe eyes look up at him.

"You've nothing to apologize for, sir." Jeongguk says quietly, and Seokjin smiles, too touched by the boy's humble and soft demeanor to scold him for calling him sir—he doubts that habit will ever break.

"Well, I have one piece of advice for you, Jeongukkie." Seokjin slides his arm around Jeongguk's shoulder and begins to walk with him to unlock the front door of the coffee shop.

"What is it?" Jeongguk asks.

"Urban Dictionary."

•••

Jeongguk returns home from work and the grocery store around 6 PM, like he always does. He makes dinner for one and drinks his banana milk as per usual. But when he sits down to eat, rather than grabbing his book like normal, he pulls out his phone. He hasn't checked it all day, and he has a feeling Haneul hasn't texted him. Being a surgeon sounds ridiculously demanding, he doubts she has the time to text him. At least, that's what he hopes the reason is, and not that he's naive and boring to talk to.

Instead of going to the dating app, he goes onto the internet and types in two words: Urban Dictionary.

The first thing that pops up on the screen is the Word of the Day.

YOLO
"Yolo" is the acronym for "you only live once". Life is short, unexpected, and full of surprise. You do not know what will happen tomorrow. Most of us want to live life to the utmost fullest, which means getting everything we can out of life.

"Huh." Jeongguk mumbles. He'd definitely have to use that one more often. "Fascinating." He navigates to other random words he sees on the website:

DUDEBRO
broad, technical term for guys who are bro-ish, dude-like, or exhibit otherwise man-centric behaviors and attitudes, especially those who use 'dude' and 'bro' incessantly. "Dudebro" is equivalent to "Brodude" in everyday usage.

LIT
When something is turned up or popping

Is this how guys "his age" talk nowadays? He finds it to sound barbaric, but he concludes that he'll have to adapt.

Finally, Jeongguk looks up the words from his conversation with Haneul.

UWU
The feeling you get of too much cuteness or an overwhelming feeling of happiness

A small smile forms on Jeongguk's face; he feels glad to have been the cause of Haneul's uwus. Next, he looks up another fairly confusing statement Haneul had made.

SILLY GOOSE
When someone does something to make you giggle, you call them this.

Jeongguk's smile widens further. He had made her giggle? He doesn't understand how a goose has anything to do with giggling, but he decides to ignore that. He's beginning to feel more confident about their conversation than before. Finally, Jeongguk looks up the one word that he gets compared to constantly.

SIRI
Siri is the "personal assistant" on the iPhone 4S. If you ask, she can tell you where the nearest ice cream store is, what the weather's going to be like tomorrow, what the square root of five is, or whether or not you are fat. Also, tell her to play a song, text or call a friend, plan an appointment, or set an alarm, and she will. It's pretty amazing.

However, you must remember that Siri is essentially an inanimate object. It is all too easy to fall in love with her because of her sassy, adorable remarks. But don't make the same mistake I did. She will never love you back, and she doesn't hesitate to say so.

Jeongguk grows mildly concerned at the last sentence. If Haneul thinks he's like Siri, then...

"She thinks I'm incapable of love?" Jeongguk asks, running a hand through his hair in despair. "Blazes!" He curses under his breath—he only lets his dirtiest language come out in times of utter distress such as this. "I have to prove it to her! I'll show her that I'm not Siri!" He tries to convince himself, but then he jumps when his phone vibrates in his hand. His heart drops into his stomach when he reads the name—

3 MESSAGES FROM: choihaneul

aw i just saw your text i did have a splendid day at work !!!

i helped deliver a baby girl today it was great

i'm only on dinner break but i still wanna talk to u :))

Panicking, Jeongguk wrote back hesitantly.

That's wonderful, bro.

Looking at his poetry he's just sent to Haneul, he nods slowly, admiring his handiwork.

bro? that's an um

that's a new one

Yes, dude, I began to use it considering "YOLO".

sorry

did u just say

"yolo"

Indeed.

why would you ever say yolo

Because it is lit.

liT ?!1!2!2!

who are you and what have you done with jeongguk

I do not understand.

I am Jeongguk.

well yeah but now

now you're talking like a frat boy

A frat boy is not Siri, right?

definitely not

Okay good

I do not want you to perceive me as Siri

jeongguk if the siri comment i made upset you i'm sorry

i was only joking

Oh, you did not upset me! I am not upset!

I just do not want you to perceive me as Siri

I am a loving person though my syntactical structure may cause my speech to be conveyed as cold

SWEETIE NOOO

i didn't think you were cold at all!!!

But, according to Urban Dictionary Siri is incapable of love. I wanted to make sure you knew that I definitely do have the emotional capacity for love.

wHAT

jeongguk why on earth are you looking up siri on urban dictionary

why are you looking up ANYTHING on urban dictionary

At this point, Jeongguk's hands are shaking. He's made a mistake, his chances with Haneul are slipping through his fingertips. He doesn't know what about her draws him in so much, but he has to get to know her more to find out. He can't help but spill his guts to her.

Haneul, I am not very cultured these days in social media or slang. I went to work this morning and asked my boss what something you said last night meant and he told me to use Urban Dictionary, and so I began to try to incorporate some words I found there in order to seem more modern and interesting. One thing I did not know was Siri, and the definition said that Siri is incapable of love, and since I garner  frequent comparisons to Siri I grew worried.
I just do not want how foolish I am to scare you away.

jeongguk

that's adorable that you care so much but

i don't want you to change who you are for me

i don't find you cold or boring because of the way you talk, i find you even more interesting

You believe that?

it's refreshing to talk to someone like you. i don't want to date another frat boy.

and if how you were this morning is any indication of how you actually are, i might really want to date someone like you.

A sigh of relief leaves Jeongguk as he loosens up. She understands. Of course she does, she's Haneul. Haneul seems to understand everything.

Okay, thank goodness.

I did not enjoy speaking like a heathen.

HA A HEATHEN

never change, cutie

I believe you are the cute one.

WAS THAT A FLIRT

IS FRAT BOY JEONGGUK STILL IN THERE SOMEWHERE

No, Regular Jeongguk is just telling the truth.

kakskskwjskwkw

i'm dead

That does not make sense, you sent that message. Dead people do not have message sending capabilities. You should know this, you are a surgeon.

HAHHAH JEONGGUK NONO

that's just an expression sweetie

Oh.

Forgive me, for I am not familiar with many expressions these days.

good

that just means you can talk to me more so you can ask :)

I will hold you to that.

i have to go jeongguk, we just got a big trauma rush in the ER

try and sleep properly tonight!!!

Okay, Dr. Choi.

WHY IS IT SO MUCH HOTTER WHEN YOU SAY IT JAKDAKKDJSD

OKAY BYE CUTIE

Goodbye, Haneul.

Jeongguk sets down his phone, feeling extremely relieved. She doesn't find him boring—she finds him interesting, which is more than Jeongguk had hoped after last night's conversation. And she finds him interesting without having to talk like a frat boy. "Wait, what's a frat boy?" Jeongguk wonders aloud, realizing he forgot to even think about it.

This time, though, Jeongguk skips Urban Dictionary. "Curse you, Urban Dictionary. I rebuke thee." He mumbles, returning to his chat with Haneul.

Hello again, this is not as urgent as saving lives, however, I am curious.

What is a frat boy?

hiiiiii how r y'all todayyyyyyyyyy

thank you for giving this book & me a chance, i really hope you're enjoying it as much as i enjoy writing it.

IF YOU READ ALL THAT (or even if u didn't), it's me r your friendly neighborhood author reminding you not to let others dictate your self esteem and to love yourselves okay byeeeeee

edited 05/08/20