CANNONBALL
DAMIEN RICE

Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on
Still a little bit of your ghost your witness
Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer each day
That I can't say what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
And life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball

"Oh, absolutely not. No. Unacceptable." Seokjin says the second the front door to Jeongguk's apartment swings open. It's around 9 PM and way past Jeongguk's bedtime, but Jeongguk merely blinks at his boss in confusion. "Jeongguk, you're going to a club, not a funeral. The saying is, 'A little party never killed nobody'." Seokjin elaborated, but Jeongguk still had no clue what he was talking about.

"I know." He deadpans, unsure why Seokjin made such a random observation.

"Then why on Earth are you wearing that?" Seokjin asks, eyes wide. Jeongguk looks down at his body, clothed in a black button up, black dress pants and black dress shoes. This is what he used to wear to go out, the last time he had been to anything like a party, in 1907. He doesn't see a problem with it. Before he can tell Seokjin that, Seokjin barges into his apartment. "Never mind, we don't have time to discuss your poor fashion choices, just—I need your closet, your razor, and some scissors."

"Scissors, sir?" Jeongguk asks incredulously. Seokjin whips around on his heel to look at him.

"Did I stutter? Go! We're gonna be late!"

•••

Jeongguk crosses his arms over his chest self consciously as he and Seokjin get out of the cab and walk towards the club. He feels wildly exposed, and extremely uncomfortable in the outfit Seokjin chose, but he's too much of a people pleaser to tell Seokjin that. Seokjin took Jeongguk's scissors and razor and cut holes in a black tee and a pair of Jeongguk's blue jeans he forgot he even owned, jeans that he never wore because he deemed them too tight. Seokjin doesn't think they are, he just said that they're skinny jeans and they're supposed to be tight. He wears some less dressy black loafers on his feet and Seokjin had put some eyeliner on him in the back of the cab. Seokjin has also insisted on parting his hair to the side and ridding Jeongguk of his wire rimmed glasses—so now he is mildly blind, losing circulation in his legs, and shivering from the 9:30 PM Seoul breeze passing through the holes in his shirt.

Seokjin completely bypasses the line to get into the club that wraps around the entire building, and Jeongguk follows timidly, murmuring apologies to the annoyed looking people in line sending them dirty looks. "We're with Jung Hoseok." Seokjin tells the bouncer, who nods calmly.

"IDs, please."

Jeongguk's heart immediately drops to the pit of his stomach. He's no longer shivering, but incredibly hot, a sweat breaking out on the back of his neck. His ID is the one thing that does not portray him as a young adult man—his birthday is on the card, and his birthday certifies him as a Wanderer, and an extremely old one at that. Seokjin elbows him in the ribs, and Jeongguk's clumsy fingers fumble for his wallet. His heart rate is racing unevenly, and he tries to keep his hand from shaking as he retrieves his ID from his wallet and holds it out to the bouncer.

The bouncer's face is stoic, but his eyes show his emotions: shock, confusion, disgust. But then he calmly hands the ID back to Jeongguk and nods firmly. Seokjin shoots him a smile and enters the club, and Jeongguk, head still spinning from his secret nearly being outed to his only friend, goes to follow him. But all relief is replaced by double the anxiety he felt before when the neckline of his black shirt is suddenly grasped roughly and yanked upon until he's face to face with the bouncer. In that moment, Jeongguk forgets how to breathe, he forgets how to speak, he only knows how terrified he is.

"I'm only letting you in because you're with Jung Hoseok. This is a one-time thing, Wanderer. I will beat whatever life is left in you out of you if you come around here again." The bouncer practically hisses, before releasing him and pushing him rather roughly through the door, directly into Seokjin.

"What was that all about?" Seokjin asks, steadying Jeongguk.

"Nothing, sir. I just stumbled, is all." Jeongguk reassures his boss. In reality, the backs of his eyes prickle with the beginnings of tears that he holds back. It has been years since he has been discovered by anyone, but this is the most terrified Jeongguk has been on any of those occasions. He's gotten cursed out and glared at, but never physically threatened, and not in front of someone he considers a friend. "How does knowing Hoseok enable us to skip the line?" Jeongguk changes the subject as he follows Seokjin down a hallway. The muffled sound of the bassline of music vibrates through Jeongguk's feet, and he knows they are approaching the party.

"Hoseok's a street dancer. He's got connections all over the place." Seokjin explains, and Jeongguk nods, opening his mouth to comment. But his response dies on the tip of his tongue as Seokjin pulls open a door. The flashing lights inside temporarily blind Jeongguk as the music's volume makes his ears ring. People dance provocatively with one another to the beat of the song. Some are kissing messily in the dimly lit corners, others are downing ridiculous amounts of alcohol. Jeongguk blinks in shock. He doesn't really know what's going on, or what to do with himself, or how to act, but he does know one thing off the bat: he is not very fond of clubs. "You alright, Guk? You look like you've never seen a club before." Jeongguk stiffens, and Seokjin notices immediately, to Jeongguk's dismay. "Oh my God, you're kidding. You never have seen a club before?"

Jeongguk only shakes his head, which feels like it's about to explode from overstimulation. So much has happened within a span of three minutes, and Jeongguk's social anxiety is at it's peak. He doesn't want to dance or drink or scream to be heard over the ear drum bursting music—he wants to talk to Haneul. Haneul, who always makes him feel a little less confused, and a little less ashamed for being so confused. Haneul, who comforts him and listens to him and doesn't judge him at all. Haneul, who is currently clearly upset with him. Fuck, another thing to add to his growing list of concerns.

"Well, don't be embarrassed, okay, kid? We'll make this night extra special for you. Promise." Seokjin claps him on the shoulder in a manly sort of way before guiding him through the densely packed crowd to a corner near the bar. Jeongguk has no doubt Seokjin will follow through on his promise, but he has a bad feeling that he and Seokjin's definitions of "special" are very different. Surely enough, the corner Seokjin leads him to is where Seokjin's friends he met earlier are standing.

"Wow, look who finally decided to show up." Hoseok says as Namjoon greets Seokjin with a kiss.

"Sorry, there was traffic." Seokjin says, and Jeongguk appreciates how he didn't expose his fashion faux pas to his friends. Though Seokjin can be a bit abrasive, he has the best intentions at heart. "Jeongguk, you already know Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok, and this is Taehyung." Seokjin says, and only then Jeongguk notices the fourth person present. His hair is dyed a silver that glints in the multicolored lighs of the club, and his lanky body is languidly leaned against the wall. Jeongguk is surprised to look over at Taehyung to see him already staring at him. His lips are turned up in a smirk and Jeongguk doesn't feel his eyes on his own now, but everywhere else. Clearing his throat, he tries to ignore it.

"It is a pleasure to meet you all, I cannot express my gratitude to you for so kindly welcoming me into your—" Jeongguk cuts himself off when Yoongi's eyebrow quirks in confusion at his formal speech. "I-I mean—thanks for letting me, um, hang out with you guys." Jeongguk says, the words foreign and strange on his tongue.

"No problem. Any friend of Jin hyung's is a friend of ours." Namjoon tells him warmly, and Jeongguk smiles genuinely for the first time since stepping into the club. He can see why Seokjin loves Namjoon so much, he's kind.

"Yeah, Jeongguk. Wanna go grab some drinks with me?" Hoseok, ever the social butterfly, asks. Jeongguk nods, grateful for the opportunity to get to know Hoseok better. "We'll meet you guys out there." Hoseok tells the others, who look excited to go dance. Jeongguk follows Hoseok to the bar, trying not to seem as nervous as he really is. "So, how long have you been working with Seokjin hyung?" He asks.

"Around eight months." Jeongguk answers.

"And we didn't meet till today? That's crazy." Hoseok says, signalling for the bartender to come over.

"Well, to be fair, I am not the most social person." Jeongguk murmurs under his breath timidly, but Hoseok is already conversing with the bartender. He lists off a multitude of alcoholic beverages before turning to Jeongguk.

"What would you like?" He asks. Jeongguk gulps, not being in the mood for alcohol at all, but blurting out the first thing that pops into his head.

"Just a shot of Soju." Jeongguk says, and Hoseok has to repeat his order to the bartender because he said it so quietly. Hoseok orders one as well, and he grins at Jeongguk kindly.

"To the beginning of an awesome friendship." Hoseok smiles, and Jeongguk can't help but reciprocate the expression before knocking back the shot. He winces, not having drunk alcohol in a long time, and Hoseok laughs at his reaction. "You ready to dance?" Jeongguk looks at the pulsing dance floor with skepticism.

"I'm not much of a dancer." He says nervously, and Hoseok only gives him a knowing smirk.

"I'm sure Taehyung would love to teach you." Hoseok teases with a wiggle of the eyebrows. "I could tell by the way he was staring you down earlier." Hoseok says, but the suggestive tone of his voice completely goes over Jeongguk's head. He turns to the red headed man incredulously.

"He would do that?" Jeongguk asks excitedly, doe eyes wide, shocked by the kindness of the virtual strangers that are Seokjin's friends.

"Hell yeah. He'd probably do anything, as long as you're
the one who asked him to." Hoseok laughs, not realizing that Jeongguk misinterpreted his words entirely. "C'mon." He says, and Jeongguk follows him out to the dance floor. Pushing through the crowd, they reach the others, and Hoseok winks at Jeongguk, nudging him towards Taehyung. Taehyung is looking at Jeongguk with that same expression, that same fire in his eyes as before. Up close, he sees that Taehyung has blue contacts in that make his eyes even more piercing.

"Hello. Hoseok said that you would teach me how to dance?" Jeongguk asks, forcing himself to be outgoing and speak over the music. Taehyung's mouth forms its signature smirk, which leaves Jeongguk a tad confused. "Would you mind?"

"It'd be my pleasure." Taehyung says, and Jeongguk smiles thankfully. "First, come closer." Taehyung instructs. Jeongguk does as told, but is slightly confused by their close proximity. He can smell the alcohol on Taehyung's breath, and he has no doubt that the soju is taking effect, evident in his sudden confidence to be friendly. "Okay, now turn around." He says. Jeongguk furrows his brows but turns around slowly, his back to Taehyung. How is he supposed to learn to dance if he can't see Taehyung?

He jolts when he feels large hands on his hips, and Taehyung chuckles lowly at his reaction. Is this how people dance nowadays? It seems oddly...intimate. "Now, follow my lead." Taehyung murmurs in his ear as he begins to move to the beat of the music. Jeongguk is stiff and wildly uncomfortable, hands hovering uncertainly in the air.

"Are you sure this is correct?" He asks, and Taehyung laughs again.

"Almost. Just put this hand—" He takes Jeongguk's wrist and places his palm on the side of Taehyung's neck. "—here. And relax. Trust me." Jeongguk finds the whole situation to be too absurd, too close, too much, but he desperately wants to fit in with Seokjin's friends, and Taehyung is nice enough to teach him, so he can't even think about voicing his thoughs. He tries his best to loosen his tense muscles, though he doesn't know how he could possibly relax in the grasp of a stranger.

Suddenly, he feels Taehyung's hips roll against his ass, and he gasps. "Taehyung." He breathes out, growing hot. Taehyung doesn't answer, only continues the motion, creating friction between their bodies. Jeongguk's heartbeat accelerates, this time from impending panic. "Taehyung." He says again, a little louder.

"Yeah, baby?" He asks, and Jeongguk's eyes nearly pop out of his head. Baby? Jeongguk feels a smoldering, wet warmth on the side of his neck, and sees Taehyung planting kisses there. This isn't right, this isn't right. The last person who had their lips there was Jimin. Jimin is the only one Jeongguk has ever allowed to touch him like that, and now Taehyung, this stranger, is taking that away from him.

That thought is all it takes for Jeongguk to wiggle out of Taehyung's grasp. He whirls around, short of breath and short of temper. "That is not dancing!" He scolds a wide eyed Taehyung.

"Jeongguk, I'm sorry, I thought that's what you wanted!" Taehyung explains, but Jeongguk shakes his head furiously.

"I did not want to be kissed! I did not ask!" He shouts, and he feels tears in his eyes, though he doesn't feel that upset for the reasons Taehyung thinks he is. No, Jeongguk is upset because he stole something that was Jimin's and Jimin's only, something Jeongguk wasn't ready to let go of yet—his body. He suddenly feels the eyes of the others on him. Seokjin steps forward, gently placing a hand on Jeongguk's shoulder, concern evident in his eyes.

"Unhand me! Let go!" Jeongguk exclaims, writhing out of his grip, stumbling backwards. He takes the opportunity to slip through the crowd. He's running into people, spilling drinks, stepping on toes—but he doesn't care. He needs to get out of this place, this dastardly place that only caused him harm. Hot tears spill down his face, and when he makes it out of a back exit in the club and into an alleyway, into the Seoul night air that makes the tears dry on his cheeks—only then can he breathe again. He uses the breath he takes in to let out a choked sob.

The second he can breathe, he fumbles for his phone in his pocket.

He needs to talk to Haneul.

hey hiiii this is a super long one with not a lot of jeongguk x haneul action sorry about thattt, but it's pretty necessary to develop characters here and keep the plotline movinnn

edited 05/08/20