𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗛, 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗛 𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘
˗ˏˋ I owe it all to you 'ˎ˗

( song for the chapter:
youth— DAUGHTER )

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 written on 28th October, 1981
❛'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all ❜

     My dearest Sirius,

You're sleeping next to me right now. There's no sign of mischief on your face, just pure peace— it's giving me solace too. I know it's a little creepy that I'm watching you sleep. Well, I can't sleep, perhaps I had one or seven too many drinks.

It does not help that you're gorgeous in moonlight, and at all times; I simply cannot tear my eyes away from you. 

You just asked me to marry you—like, actually get on with it and get married next week and I said yes. I only hope that if you're reading this, we at least made it that far. I don't want to die without becoming your wife first. How did you find my amazing wedding vows, lover?

I realised the engagement ring is white-gold and not silver. I guess you wanted to give me something silver but more expensive nonetheless. What a show off.

I'm sorry it came to this; I'm only writing this because I fear I will not have a chance at epic last words; if Kaz has handed you this letter, something must have gone terribly wrong. 

The very first morning I woke up on your bed, I thought you'd never know just how much you mean to me. However, I have now reached a point of my life where I don't feel vulnerable sharing my feelings. 

All because of you. All for your love.

This letter is proof of that.

I want you to know you saved me—you saved me in every way a person can possibly be saved.

I mean... you quite literally blindly ran into a burning building to rescue me; that sort of tragic love stories are engraved in people's souls. 

That sort of love never dies. 

As a child, one of my favourite things to do was to read books with an unachievable victory because living vicariously through fiction is better than facing atrocities in real life. Now, my favourite thing to do is talking with you (and making out too). I think if I could, I would sit and speak with you for the rest of my life, from dusk to dawn until the stars fall. You're my saviour from those fictional books. Just because it didn't get a happy ending, that doesn't make our story any less of an impeccable tale.

I have three requests for you.

ONE, I want you to remember me. Not as somebody you once loved and lost, but somebody you drank sour lemonade and stolen firewhiskey with whilst watching the stars over your rooftops, conversing about what could've been if we were born into different families. Remember the good things. I'm aware I sound selfish. It may be difficult and equally unfair that you will have to remember me longer than you knew me, but I don't think I'll be at peace if I'm still not in your heart.

TWO, take care of Eve.

THREE, please don't lie awake at night wondering what you could've done differently. That's a fool's game. And you, Sirius Black, have never been a fool.

Although I'm likely gone now, you cannot stay reliant on someone who's no longer around. I'm not naïve enough to think your scars from my death will heal quickly. But your scars are not a painting of your tragedy. Your scars tell your story—and I, for one, adore stories. I wish more than anything that I could be there to watch you continue to write yours till it has a happy ending.

But our story is over. My story is over.

Yours is not.

You don't need me to continue writing pages of your story. I was a chapter—an adventurous, romantic, tragic, beautiful, irreplaceable chapter. But soon it will be time to turn over to a new chapter. With our friends, with your family; with the addition of our little Harry. It would've been fun if we got to spoil him together, no?

I hope beautiful things happen to you and when they do, please believe, you're worthy of every single one of them.

Truthfully, I don't care as long as you're living life to its fullest—whether you find love again and have children someday, whatever you wish to achieve. I will not urge you to move on to someone else because if the roles were reversed and you told me to find love again, I'd burn this letter right now. I'll be at peace as long as you spend your years doing something you adore.

But if you ever do call another girl 'Blondie', I will come and haunt you as a phantom from the great beyond, Mr Black.

Being loved by you has been the best thing that ever happened to me. I think my life started the day I made that bet with you, and completed the night you loved me enough to marry me. Do know, I will always love you. From our perfect start, to the finish line, you've always been the one. It has always been you.

Don't be consumed by the need for revenge—it's a deadly disease. Revenge and guilt hollows your soul. It's a lethal weapon, And I don't want that life for you. In fact, if I had the chance, I'd change my family's motto from oeil pour oeil into trouver du réconfort.

Because peace is all that matters in this crooked world.

I'm terribly sorry if I ever hurt you, I'm blissfully aware my words shoot to kill when I'm mad; I deeply regret it. I want to get better before I take my last breath. I promise, I do. But there is a part of me thinking, yeah— it takes blood, sweat and tears to climb all the way up to a morally good pedestal but it also took blood, sweat and tears to get where I am right now in the first place. Every bit of my reputable self I worked so hard to build according to my family's beliefs, I've turned it into a pit of rubble and ashes. I set fire to my insides that grew into a pit of madness. 

And fire can only be put out by water.

You're my water, honey. I needed my water to survive and you're the only person who put out the fire burning in me. I'm sorry I couldn't be your water. I'm sorry I only ever brought darkness and void.

Everything I have done in my life, I did it to prove myself to you. Because you were all that mattered. In the process, I saved lives, countless of them and redeemed myself. The cause saved families. It was worth it. Selling my youth was worth it. You were worth it.

Most of my family were cursed with an intolerable consumption of darkness until it drove them to madness. But in the life I've lived, the darkness I've taken, it has never been able to consume me—not fully, that was always because of you. No matter the self-destructive nature of the Bridget souls, the universe could never get rid of the love I feel for you. It was one thing the world couldn't take away from me.

I owe it all to you. I owe you my life. I owe you everything, Sirius Black.

      Avec tout l'amour de mon coeur,
      Scarlet Bridget.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

彡 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐇
( @goldvst )