𝗔𝗖𝗧 𝗜𝗜𝗜 ━━ 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗛 𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘
129. the lovers that went wrong

( songs for the chapter:
born to die — lana del rey )

( loml — taylor swift )

❝ 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑠𝑖𝑛 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑣𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑦𝑒𝑑
𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑦𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 ❞

LAKESIDE, ENGLAND
october, 1981

          𝗔𝗕𝗢𝗩𝗘, 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗦 𝗪𝗘𝗥𝗘 𝗙𝗟𝗔𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘 𝗘𝗠𝗕𝗘𝗥𝗦 drawn from a smoking inferno, floating in the sky and shimmering through the impeccably thick wall of obsidian. Constellations mingled and formed cryptic shapes, representing different configurations to every pair of eyes gazing upon the rotating hemisphere, upon the canvas of ink.

      In the glamorous, unwavering wedding dress, Scarlet stood in front of Bridget House; her eyes clung to the darkness, trying to decrypt the sinewy shapes coalescing with the shadows. 

      The House that held years of love and comfort and trust and soothing and all those cruel words exchanged and all those apologies, all the tears and laughs and exclaims of victory and the corridors where they once danced like two ghosts.

      The sounds of the waves crashing on the shore of the lake rang in the core of her head, the electric vibration of it rennervating and coursing thorough each and every one of her matte-black vein.

      The Ministry is too furious with Dumbledore due to his Order business for them to ever believe his testimony about Scarlet being a spy. It would be easy to clear Snape's name; Scarlet's name held too much of an infamous, brutal reputation for her behaviour to be excused.

      Not that any of that mattered.

      Assuming Severus' words were correct, this was how it was going to go: Scarlet could sacrifice another life to save her child's. Except, her heart was now so full of an yearn for approval from others, after all those ethical and moral information jumbled in her brain, she could not bring herself to do it. 

      And if she gave her life, her own life—as Snape explained—the premature figure of the baby would find another 'vessel', another womb to grow in. A surrogate. 

      Perhaps it was urgency that led her to drink that potion, lack of time to think through her choices. Perhaps it was a choice and she was sure she made the right one.

      For the first time in her life, so close to drastic death, she felt comfortable in her own skin. She felt healed, she felt the contemptuous haze she chased her entire life. Of course, other matters made it hard to truly enjoy that happy feeling.

      James died first. Scarlet did not find it astonishing. If it had been Lily to stop breathing first, James would've faced a fate much, much more hurtful than death itself. Mere moments without Lily Potter in his life, how would he cope with it?

      Lily Potter with a heart of a lioness doubtlessly looked in the eyes of death and let it take her with courage—Scarlet was sure of it. Lily whose eyes surely overshone the bright-green blaze, Lily who died thinking her son would not survive.

      Thoughts of James and Lily dissipated, and the most momentum one rose to the top. 

      Sirius. 

      What would he do? If something happened to her, and he witnessed such a thing—what would he do?

"Scarlet!" Sirius's voice bloomed, she instantly turned around. 

      Her grief-ridden body reacted the same way every single time he was near. By some force of nature, Sirius Black was the only person on earth that could make the world around her melt with his presence alone, blur out all meaningless surrounding so her eyes focused on him. And the shape of his silhouette in the dark. It seemed to be the only shape she could see, the curve of his shoulders, the swoop of his hair.

      Suddenly, in the snap of a finger, the whole world evanesced and it was just the two of them, staring at one another, trying to study the look in each other's eyes from distance.

      A deep, dark, aching distance filled with baggage, unspoken thoughts and so, so many — only Merlin knows — godforsaken questions.

      She didn't know where he was initially or how he knew she would be here. Perhaps it was that secret language they always spoke over miles—or that invisible string that tied their souls together, inserting a magnetic pull. Whatever it was, she was glad he was here.

      Sirius Black, disregarding all his other emotions for a second, was left absolutely speechless. He was not sure if this was a blessing or a curse, the mere sight of her.

     In midst of all fire and deaths, he was staring at her with that look. Her, in her gorgeous white dress, red lips and luxurious pale-blonde hair. The girl he was going to marry.

      That meaningful look he always gave her. The way his eyes were softening on hers. Looking absolutely astonished by her beauty as if this was the first time he'd ever laid eyes on her. As if she were a work of art — glided and inlaid with royal jewels. 

"Blondie, listen," the words tumbled out in a sort of whisper-like tone. He sounded completely and utterly awestruck. Breathless, like she'd just knocked the wind out of him. 

      His heart was breaking loose from his chest. He lost his best friend and the very reason behind it was his other best friend. He could not lose more.

"I didn't—it wasn't me! I swear on my life, I could never do such a thing, Blondie! Please believe me—!" He exclaimed, still standing at distance by the lake as he forced those words out in a hurry.

"I know." 

"I didn't do it— wait, what?"

"I know!" She screamed desperately, tiniest little crack in the middle of it, "I believe you!"

"You believe me," He let out an exhale in relief, shoulders slumping from his previous position where he was bracing for impact. 

"I'll always believe you." She said loudly, then, he furrowed his brows in confusion as the girl stumbled away, blinking hard to keep her balance.

      Then she ran. So fast.

      Towards him. He was running for her too, his hand in the air and craving to feel her touch.

      Scarlet extended her hand, and the moment she felt his touch— the second his fingers intertwined with hers was the moment her body fell limp, making her lose balance and fall right into the arms of the love of her life with a massive force. Sirius caught her despite the billow of force she collided his body with.

      That's what he always did. Scarlet fell and Sirius always caught her.

      She felt dizzy. It was the worst agony she had ever felt in her entire life. Poison ripped through her heart, her head grew foggy and dazed. A gush of blood ripped through her chest, as though she was slashed open with a sword.

      Then his eyes fell on her dress underneath the darkness of the night, the bright white fabric now practically blood-soaked. Her veins writhed beneath the surface as dark shadows flooded through, intensifying her pain. The black colour rushed upwards, towards her neck, trailing down areas of her chest and towards her entire body. Filling all her arteries and veins.

"Blondie, why—you... the blood?" He whispered. "Am I seeing things, is this—is it a trance again? What—what happened? Why are you wounded?"

      Sirius held her so, so close. Her back was laid flat against his lap, both his hands clutching onto her bloodied body. Beneath the pads of his fingertips as he placed a palm against her wounded chest, her heart thudded utterly slow. It pulsed and pulsed like the sweetest symphony.

"Sirius, it's okay," That defeated tone was all Sirius needed to understand the momentum of the situation. "I have to tell you—" she let out a pained gasp.

      Once it had kicked in—once the reality settled and Sirius realised what had just happened... he felt as though he was the one bleeding.

      And then he let out the most broken, destroyed and utterly devastated scream that anyone had ever heard before.

      And then he screamed again.

      And again.

      Until the screams became cries.

      And the cries turned into sobs.

"SCARLET!" he screamed, cried, sobbed. "Blondie, no! No, no, don't you dare do that, don't you dare close your eyes on me!"

      Scarlet did her best to keep them open—as long as she could. If there was something left for Scarlet to wish, she wished she died looking into Sirius' eyes. How could she not fight against death when it was Sirius Black's warmth enveloping her?

"Blonds, Blondie, hey— look at me, darling—please..." he sobbed, his hair sticking to the dampness on his cheeks from all the tears. "Hold on, we're almost there, all right? Everyone—everyone's waiting at the altar for us, sweetheart, it's our wedding day, remember?"

      He was begging. Begging and begging.

      Not her. Not her, too. He lost enough. She's all I have.

      Sirius knew he could use this time to hide. He could have reminded Scarlet that he was caught and people were after him. But he didn't have the heart to. He knew his life was bound to end. And he would rather spend the last few minutes of his life looking into the only pair of eyes that reminds him of how beautiful life is.

      Her eyes relaxed despite the ache all over her body. Scarlet tightly held his hand. She was taking her final breaths and it was not because she was weak—or because she lost a fight.

      It was because she was saving her best friend by letting that curse hit her and not Hogwarts. If she hadn't done it—something would happen to those kids at Hogwarts, something would happen to Everest. It felt tranquil, knowing that she was finally able to pay Eve back for all the things she had done for her. And if she had not taken that potion then...

      By now, if everything had gone correctly, she would be Sirius' wife. He would be her husband. Whatever this is, it wasn't supposed to happen. Their kind of love was scary (as all those books mentioned) and it rarely ever had a happy ending. They are forevermore known as the lovers that went wrong rather than the ones who lived happily ever after.

      A Gryffindor never found their happy ending with a Slytherin. Scarlet should've known that ever since Marlene was cruelly snatched from Everest. Ever since Ares lost Bridget.

"Hang on there, alright? I'll go—I'll get a healer." He whimpered, his hands shaking desperately. "Talk to me, just– just talk to me, I'll get the best healer—and everything's going to be okay... right?" He was starting to get up, prepared to fetch a healer anyhow he could.

Scarlet intertwined her fingers with his quickly, "No—don't..." Sirius held onto her as though she were his lifeline—in a way she was. He brought her closer if that was possible, a sense of eagerness for intimacy running through his heart.

      Tears spilled from his eyes, dripping onto her dress. Suddenly, she coughed out an ounce of blood. Cuts and bruises started to appear on her forearm, and then all over her fair skin. Fear grasped at his heart, his shaky hands started to attempt to wipe the blood away. But the gush of blood kept spilling.

      It was red everywhere. He felt himself choking up at the sight. He was not ready, not ready to lose her. Not her.

      But Scarlet didn't see red. She saw a calming grey that was the love of her life's eyes, a colour resembling the deep grey sky that she found solace in. Her heart calmed at the sight of Sirius Black. The birds whistling their melancholy tone, the sound of the light waves from the lake.

      Sirius started to kiss her, pressing tiny pecks all over her face, at the corners of her bloodied lips and the crease between her brows and her defined cheekbones and then her bottom lip. All over her face.

"Please, please, come on," he shook his head in denial, holding her for dear life. They were supposed to make it—they were both supposed to make it through. "None of this is okay, it's not okay."

      Softly, she shook her head and her lips curled up gently. Peacefully.

"You—you're hurt, you're hurt." He whimpered again.

She smiled, the breathing pattern uneven as she looked at him, laying in his arms. Laying in the arms of the boy who was her entire world, "I don't feel any pain—" Her words were cut off by her pained gasp. No, no, she needed to speak. She needed to say her last words.

      He begged her to keep her eyes open.

Sirius was removing pieces of her sweaty hair from her face, cradling her face in his hands. He was sobbing. "Don't leave me like this," He choked out, voice catching in his throat. "Stay with me, stay with me, please, Blondie, I can't—I need you here."

      Scarlet wanted to talk. She wanted to say all the things she never got to say to him. She wanted five more minutes with him, laying in his arms under the starry night sky confessing her wedding vows to him, all she had planned for days. But she couldn't speak. Her voice dissipated, her lungs were corrupted, the insides of her body felt rotten.

"Please, Blondie... you'll break my heart," he begged, "Please, don't break my heart again. I will not survive another heartbreak, I can't breathe without you."

      Scarlet wanted to reverse time. She wanted to go back to the very moment he told her his name. And she would change everything. Because if she knew the ending of their story beforehand and got a chance to go back, she would stay with him. Despite whatever harm it would cause to her reputation. She would drop anything and everything else the moment he had told her—under the stars—that she's her favourite person to talk to.

"I'll go and find a Healer—" He was cut off.

"Please, st—stay, don't go," the slow beat of another heart felt haunting beneath his fingertips. He screamed again when the reality sat in, he cried again, he sobbed again. His entire world was lying in his arms, dying. His heart was torn in two as he cried over her body which grew paler by the second.

      She needed to say more.

"After all this is over..."

      Sirius nodded at her encouragingly, and she found the last bit of strength to blurt out:

"Find Eve."

"All this will all be over soon — we'll be okay, we'll find Chasseur together, hm?" Sirius held her tightly, feeling her slipping away like water from in between his fingers. "Blondes, don't do this to me. I promise I'll be good, I'll be careful and loving, I'll do anything—"

'I love you', she wanted to mouth, but her lips felt frozen. Her throat closed up. His weak finger gazed over her engagement ring. A single tear dropped from Scarlet's cheekbone—and she made sure the last thing she saw was his eyes.

      So she did that—she looked into his tear-filled grey eyes, holding his hand—and the last thing she could do before her body and her life gave out—was gently squeeze his hand three times. Like she always did.

      Three hand squeezes. Three heart-warming words. I love you.

Uttermost panic forced a response from him, "I love you, too, I'll love you forever. I love you. I love you." He muttered underneath his breath, then he was pecking her all over her face again, like she'd be saved by a perfect kiss; he kissed her forehead, "I love you—" her tear stained cheekbones, "—I love you." her crimson lips, her chin, "Please, please, please."

      Her eyelids started to fall shut.

      One last look, Scarlet begged to the higher powers, just one more. So, painfully, she opened her dimming cerulean eyes, ignoring the flash of white-hot pain swearing through her chest, the way the edges of her vision was swamped with milk-white.

      Please, Lord, one more second. Despite the acceptance she came in terms with, she was not done being loved by Sirius Black and his insufferably good heart. A lifetime of looking into those precious eyes would yet not be enough. One more second, please.

      The last thing Scarlet saw through her fading and blurry sight were Sirius Black's obsidian eyes.

      The last touch she felt was the warm solace of Sirius Black's arms.

      And with her heartbeat halting and pulse falling, the last thing Scarlet Bridget thought of was Sirius Black.

      One more second, one more second—

      Her hands stopped trembling, Sirius quite literally felt Scarlet's hand grow limp as it clutched in his.

      It fell out of his grasp and fell lifelessly to the floor beside her.

      The pain was visibly snatched from her irises as life faded out of her eyes. Even death did not make her eyes go cold—which is ironic for a woman who was mistaken to have no heart—and the reason simply being Sirius Black; her cobalt eyes simply remained peaceful, loved.

      It was Sirius who did not feel peace or love.

He continued to shake her figure, kissing her face over and over again. "No, no, no," He whimpered, looking up in the sky with his eyes squeezed shut and letting out a blood-curdling scream. "Blondie, listen to me, I know you never listen to me but I need you to open your eyes, okay? Please, Blonds, please, please, please... you promised me a lifetime—goddammit it! You never break your promises! Open your eyes—listen to me, wake up, wake up, Scarlet! WAKE UP!"

      This time, she did not flinch as he uttered her first name. "This wasn't meant to happen, just... we were meant to run away together... we were—we were meant to spend the rest of our lives together... together, we have to fight together, be together... you promised..."

      "We were so close, Blondie." He choked out like a godforsaken mess, left all alone.

      He was in denial that she was really gone—some defence mechanism told him she was just unconscious and that she'd wake up with the help of a healer and come back to him.

      Because accepting the other option...

      That she was gone?

      That she wasn't coming back to him?

      That he never got to marry her?

      That the love of his life was dead?

      That his fiancée just died in his arms?

He could not never accept that. One moment he was picking out a suit for his wedding with his best friends by his side and the next minute, they were all gone and none of it was ever coming back.

      Scarlet Bridget was gone. And she's never coming back.

      The very reason she gave her life for would be erased from history—because nobody would believe either of them. The reputation she built brick-by-brick was demolished the moment the Ministry found out she was in the Dark Lord's palace. Nobody will ever know what she had done—from sacrificing her youth to sacrificing her life to save everybody. 

      The worst part of it was that—that she did not die a warrior in the eyes of the Wizarding world, she died with everybody hating her.

      Screams turned into cries. Cries turned to sobs.

31st October, 1981. It was the day everything fell apart. Only one of the Marauders died that night, however, none of the others ever found life again despite a beating heart in their ribcage.

Sirius Black lost the love of his life with a wedding ring in his pocket moments before he could put it on her finger. Scarlet Bridget died in her blood-soaked white gown in the arms of the first and only person she ever loved. When her heart stopped on the night of 31st October 1981, so did his.

𝑪𝑨𝑹𝑨 𝑺𝑷𝑬𝑨𝑲𝑺 (or not, never mind)