𝗔𝗖𝗧 𝗜𝗜𝗜 ━━ 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗛 𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘 
117. holes in my butterfly wings

january, 1981

          𝗦𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗟𝗘𝗧 𝗪𝗔𝗦 𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗟𝗟 𝗟𝗘𝗙𝗧 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗔 𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗡𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗖𝗘𝗗 𝗟𝗜𝗠𝗣, she was crippling every moment she tried to walk. The Potters did not stay at the hospital for long due to having to go back to Harry. Everest and Marlene's absence disappointed her but she was determined that the girls both had a reason. Remus apologised to her for his bold and brutal accusations. It was only Sirius and Peter that stayed the entirety of the two days Scarlet was at the hospital.

Dorcas helped her walk quite a lot, holding onto her and assisting her in moving around the room. The Cruciatus Curse has left a vicarious aftermath, rotting her abilities away and since the curse was repeatedly used multiple times, one after the other, for hours, it has left quite the mark.

      She was discharged in the evening of the second day. Some fancy Ministry car dropped her home.

      Sirius helped her up the stairs, holding onto her arm to help her walk and she felt so stupidly vulnerable, humiliated in this state. She constantly reminded herself that it was Sirius she was crippling in front of, he understands, there is nothing to be ashamed of.

"I'm going to go freshen up, love," Sirius said, settling her down on the chair in front of the dressing table. He opened up the closet and pulled out a long night gown—a less revealing one— and passed it to her. "Do you need to shower?"

"I took one in the morning," she softly said, giving him a thankful smile as she took the dress. She was currently in Sirius' robes, and they were uncomfortable. After all this is over, she needs to take him to robes shopping considering he has forgotten all about Wizarding World fashion, preferring Muggle clothes over it for sure.

      Sirius went to the bathroom, door shut. She looked at herself in the mirror.

      Her own mere sight made her jaw clench because she looked so unpleasant. Tangled hair, red splotches, violent bruises, split knuckles, black circles, burn marks. She found herself cursing the universe. Staring into the mirror felt repulsing. Very desperately, she itched at her own skin, right over her arms and around her hips, trying to get rid of the feeling of every touch.

      The delicate beauty and dignity that she regarded as most intrinsic to who she was had gone out. She no longer looked like an exquisite, vibrant living corpse and instead a mere corpse.

      No longer pretty in a way Scarlet Bridget had always been.

      After so long, she looked into her own reflection and she did not see her mother. 'Cause she's no longer pretty in a way Celeste Bridget had always been.

      A churn at the pit of her belly, she felt like throwing up.

      To change into the nightgown, she stood up and instantly fell limp. The muscle in her legs gave in and she dropped to the floor. No longer finding any energy to get back up. She pulled her knees close to her chest, just sitting there on the floor. 

      Scarlet had the beauty of a butterfly and now her wings were burnt, body covered in scars.

      The bathroom door unlocked.

Sirius' eyes widened in sudden panic in her absence until he saw her curled up on the floor, back against the dressing table, his anxiety did not decrease though, "Blondie? Hey, hey," he knelt on the floor in front of her as quickly as he could, not bothering to button up his shirt, eyes searching her face, "what's going on—? That's a stupid question, don't answer that... uh– are you feeling okay? Does anything hurt?"

      She shook her head, sobbing. She felt so stupid at the moment.

"I don't feel pretty anymore." She choked out, the honest words tumbling off her tongue, broken and blue.

      Sirius looked at her, struck with astonishment because to him, this had been the most unbelievable thing he had ever heard. He glanced from one of her teary irises to another, shaking his head in disbelief as he scooped closer.

"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever met, Blonds," he confidently stated, gaze boring into hers intensely, "the most stunning, strong, selfless, you and your cunning, phenomenal mind and I would be damned to say that your beauty can possibly be taken away..."

      The worlds could collide and the stars could fall apart but Scarlet Bridget would never be not pretty.

"I feel my heart stopping the second you look at me, as if even after all this time, I'm surprised that out of everyone in the room, you choose to look at me... and love me," he pushed away some strands of hair from her forehead, cradling her face gently, "I love you, Scarlet."

"I love you," she muttered softly, wiping her tears away. Still disgusted in her skin.

"Is it okay to touch you, darling?" Sirius hesitantly asked.

      Scarlet paused her movements, and took a second to respond. She nodded twice, pursing her lips. For everything it's worth, she did not flinch or panic when he leaned down and kissed her tears away from her cheeks.

Sirius forced her chin up with his index so she could lock eyes with him, the corners of his lips tugging to an assuring smile. "Do you remember when you kissed me for a bet all those years ago?"

Scarlet let out a slight chuckle, illuminating and pure, "of course, I do." She bathed her fingers in his hair, simply admiring Sirius Black and his insufferably good heart.

"Nobody was ever able to knock the wind out of me again," he stated with all his confidence, looking into the storm blooming in the ocean of her eyes. "Not like that, not like you."

      "You were my first kiss, love, and you were my first love — I'll make sure you're my last everything too." He promised. "You're everything and so much more to me."

      He picked up her arm, and kissed the back of her hand whilst keeping his eyes on her. Her brows relaxed, the frown was wiped off and she stared back at him with a heartfelt expression. Sirius then glided a gentle finger along her wounded skin and leaned down to press his lips against her forearm. He kissed every inch of her burnt arm, the hideous gashes far too cavernous to be healed, the maroon tints from blood clots. Even the dark mark that she forgot to conceal. 

      Softly, touching her like a feather, he leaned forward and pressed his forehead against the valley of her collarbones, silently scrutinising the pattern of her now-stable breathing. When she inhaled peacefully, he pressed his lips against the centre of her rising chest. A hand on her neck which also housed unpleasant charred skin, his thumb soothing the aching area.

"When I realised you were in that burning house," he let out a shaky breath, suppressing a sob at the thought of her gone, "it was as though someone set me on fire, my heart was reduced to ashes and my mind was in flames— I felt my entire life crumbling down. Then, the moment I touched you, I could finally breathe... 'cause you're my lifeline, you're the air that I breathe."

      "You're my entire world, Blondie."

      Scarlet felt safe enough to rest her head on Sirius' chest as they laid on the bed, a duvet over them. They still had minimum distance between their bodies, legs not tangled like they are. He only kissed her head, refraining from putting his lips anywhere else.

The doorbell rang.

The two jolted awake, alarmed look on their faces.

"At this time of the night?" She asked lightly, still sleepy.

"Stay here, I'll check— will you be okay alone?" He asked to be sure.

She nodded. He got out of the bed, and since he was fully clothed, he was able to reach the main door pretty quickly. He looked through the small magnifying circle on their door. Instantly, he unlocked and pulled the door open.

"Hi," Everest stood with a frowning expression, cheeks bright red as she was sobbing. The girl was soaked, her leather jacket dripping off the rain outside, "can I stay?"

"Come on in," he quickly moved aside, allowing her in. Sirius helped her take her jacket off, and then passed her a small towel to dry her hair. "Take a seat, should I get Scarlet?" He gestured towards the living room.

As Everest took a seat, drying her hair softly with the towel, she shook her head, "let her rest... sorry to show up like this, I really am. I just..." she frowned, the words getting caught in her throat.

"It's okay," Sirius assured, sitting next to her on the couch, "you don't have to explain."

"I needed a place to stay— I felt a little scared alone," she cringed, face scrunching up, "I realise how childish that sounded."

"No, no, not true," he shook his head instantly, feeling a little awkward because he only ever had one conversation with Everest all alone and that was right after she beat the shit out of him in front of the entirety of Hogwarts. "Couldn't McKinnon not stay with you?"

Everest shakily exhaled, letting her eyelids fall shut, fists forming around the towel she held in despair.

"Jesus," he muttered with wide eyes, realising it pretty quickly, "she didn't approve of the Balcom fire."

"I think if I just committed arson, she wouldn't care," she answered, "it's about my thought processes, what I did before setting the house on fire..."

"But..." he hesitated, "you're a Slytherin."

Everest shot him a look of disbelief, scoffing, "What's that got to do with anything?"

"I mean, what did she expect?" Sirius changed his wording, "It would be strange to assume that you'd give them an easy way out after what they did — I get it's a little horrifying to see what battles do to people, it brings out the worst in them and they resort to cruel, gore-filled violence but it's war... it's not fair."

"Sirius?" Another soft voice came, interrupting their conversation. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," Everest said softly when she saw a tired Scarlet gliding down the stairs in the long nightgown, rubbing her eyes. Sirius turned around too, smiling gently at her, she was not limping anymore.

Scarlet strangely did not feel ashamed when Everest glanced upon her scars and ugly burned marks, she felt at ease enough to not reach for a coat to cover up her arms and neck.

"Is everything okay?" She asked alarmingly, sitting down on the couch opposite of Sirius and Eve, "at this time of the night...?"

"We kept on bothering her and her girlfriend every time we fought," Sirius shrugged with a toothy grin, turning to look at Everest who rolled her eyes at those memories, "it's only fair she comes to us with girl-trouble."

Scarlet chuckled lightly, "of course, anytime," she said, "what happened?"

      Sirius looked at Everest to decipher whether the girl wanted to divulge information about what she had done yesterday but the two girls seemed to be in a conversation of their own — with their eyes. Sirius did not understand it, it must be a Slytherin thing, he thought.

"Wha— what the hell is going on? What is this? I don't understand," Sirius stammered, glancing between the two girls.

"You didn't have to do that for me," Scarlet finally said after three awkward minutes of speaking with Everest using her eyes. Expression softening.

Everest shook her head softly, smiling, "I would do anything for you, S."

"Not if it risks your chances at happiness with Marlene, then no, I won't let you do it," the blonde retorted, "don't you ever do that—"

"You're meant to be on my side—" Everest shot.

"I'm on your side," Sirius chimed in unhelpfully.

"Don't encourage that behaviour," Scarlet glared at her fiancé, "we know how much Marlene means to her."

      Everest huffed, folding her arms like an immature child and slouching back.

Scarlet kept on glaring at her, "I'll get us some tea," she got up stubbornly and left the living room, leaving a puzzled Sirius in the midst of it all.

      Scarlet realised she was being unreasonable. If roles were reversed, she would gave shouted fuck you right in Sirius' face and gone to get revenge for Everest, hell, she would destroy the entire country if necessary.

"This isn't just about what I did for Scarlet," Eve said to Black, "it's about my work in general."

Sirius looked at her with sympathy, "Everybody including Marlene knows what kind of work all Chasseurs do, it's not like you're hunting innocent werewolves."

"Innocent werewolves?" Everest arched a brow, blissfully oblivious to one of the Marauders cursed with lycanthropy, "where the hell did you get that from?"

"Uh— guessing?" He offered an answer, face cringing. Thankfully, Everest never had enough patience to deal with Black so she let it go.

      Scarlet made her way back and put the three cups down on the tea-table and knelt on the floor beside Everest, putting the temple of her head on Everest's thighs and resting there. Eve smiled gently, running her fingers through the icy-blonde strands.

"I must have been a really good person in another life to have someone like you by my side, Eve," she let out a tiny sniff, the temple of her head still resting on Everest's legs.

"You're a good person in this one," the brunette reminded.

"Let's circle back to you and Marlene," Black chimed in.

      Marlene took a deep breath, turning to lock eyes with Sirius' grey ones, those star-like irises that held so much passion, maybe too much.

"I love her so much, I have trouble breathing without her. She knows I'm not above performing cruel acts when it comes to keeping my friends safe," She ranted and Sirius let her.

      "She belittles me for who I am and it hurts me, okay? I know you guys used to see me as this arrogant, condescending Slytherin, she constantly holds that nature over my head the second we have a disagreement and it's fucking exhausting — I can't make her understand my perspective, and I do not understand myself how she can be so casually cruel to the person she claims to love."

      Sirius looked down because he felt called out.

      "I take that back, she's not casually cruel— she's so sweet to me most of the time, to my issues and everything but when she doesn't approve of something... she gives me these looks of shame and that hurts more than all the yelling."

      Sirius glanced down at Scarlet who would have never ever expressed her pain like this, not even when Sirius used to do exactly what Marlene had done to Everest that night. Scarlet would stay quiet and tolerate it.

"It's just... Marls means the entire world to me but I don't think I'm ready to change for her," she shook her head, swallowing a lump in her throat, "perhaps that is sole proof that I don't deserve her."

"This isn't how it works, Chasseur," Sirius shook her head, suddenly defensive, "Marlene cannot expect the girl she loves to change into one she deserves; you love your partner for who they are, and if you cannot do that then you're not worth their love — it's as simple as that."

      Everest sent him a grateful smile, mouthing 'thank you' and turning her attention back to Scarlet's head full of blonde hair.

"Since when has he gotten so wise," Everest chuckled, "I thought Gryffindors were idiots."

"Blondie!" Sirius whined like a child, "I didn't say anything unfair this time, she's the one who's insulting me—"

"Am I wrong?"

      Here we go again. Scarlet thought, shaking her head. The momentary mature conversation between her lover and best friend vanished, and they were back to bickering. However, she felt quite contemptuous about that talk because it proved Everest and Sirius cared about each other beneath all those insulting words.

      It felt... right.

      Everest slept over in the guest room, and the next morning, Sirius woke up due to disturbing shuffling and loud noises. Sleepily rubbing his eyes, he sat up and watched Scarlet deep asleep in his arms, so he gently removed her from him and made his way down the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Sirius said as he took in the girl's presence. She was covered in her coat and scarf, clearly ready to go out.

"Home."

"It's only 5 in the morning, Chasseur, go back to sleep and go home later on," Sirius said tiredly, sighing sharply, "stay here for a few days if you need."

"No, it's just..." she inhaled sharply, "last night when Marls and I were... arguing, she promised me that she would be back so we could talk. I don't want her to come over and then go back because I'm not there. I have to go home and wait for her."

Sirius' face fell in pity, "Chasseur, perhaps that was just something she said—"

"She didn't say it to make me feel better, Black," Everest chuckled softly, staring at him as though she couldn't believe he would suggest it, "she promised me we'd talk. Marls doesn't break her promises."

"Take care then," he said casually, a little hesitant.

Everest sent him a pursed lipped smile, "you too, and take care of Scars." The door slammed shut. 

𝑪𝑨𝑹𝑨 𝑺𝑷𝑬𝑨𝑲𝑺

from now on the chapters will contain
a lot of plotlines, just to pick up the pace.
a lot of info dump too, so do read a bit more
carefully. if anything sounds confusing
let me know.

also, what did you think of this chapter?
more of sirius and eve maybe?

have a lovely day u guys!