𝗔𝗖𝗧 𝗜𝗜𝗜 ━━ 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗛 𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘
110. I don't want to be alone

august, 1980

          𝗦𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗟𝗘𝗧 𝗪𝗔𝗦 𝗔𝗪𝗔𝗞𝗘𝗡𝗘𝗗 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗡𝗘𝗫𝗧 𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚 due to Sirius' endless shuffling through some papers. Her eyelids peel open underneath the bright sunlight to see Sirius pacing about the room, reading the Daily Prophet. She sat up, pushing herself to a sitting position using her elbows, studying his movements.

Don't ask, don't ask, don't ask— "Are you still mad at me, Sirius?" She asked anyway, and cringed at the look of disbelief Sirius shot her when he turned around to face her.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, "Jesus, Scarlet, no, I'm not mad at you," he told her. "I'm just not in a pleasant mood all the time."

"Okay," she nodded quickly, dismissing the conversation as though it did not happen. "Sorry."

Sirius kept staring at her, and with a tiny sigh, he walked over to her and grabbed her face in between his palms. He brushed his lips against hers, "It's all about the war, okay? It has nothing to do with you. I'm a little tired, that is all."

She nodded again, an expressionless face staring back at Sirius. She pecked his lips again and tried to smile, the corners tugged up just a little. "I'll see you tonight."

"Good luck. Be safe, darling." He let his hands fall and stepped back. "I love you."

"I love you." She replied.

      ONCE AGAIN, SCARLET WAS SAT ALONG WITH A BUNCH OF other people at a death eaters meeting. This one consisted of hundreds of people.

"The team we have sent along is in position, are they not?" Voldemort asked. Everybody was standing, and everybody wore dark masks so nobody recognised the other. Scarlet scrutinised everybody, and recognised one of them to be Evan. Even through the mask, she could decipher his expression perfectly.

"Yes, My Lord." Scarlet responded.

"I have been informed that the Order has lined up to defend the street against us," Voldemort spoke in an eerily curious tone as he read the letter Yaxley had sent him. "Perfect."

Lucius looked at the word, his white-blonde hair peeking out of the mask, "My lord," he stumbled over his words, "Perfect?"

Despite feeling the hollowness in her chest, Scarlet heard Voldemort's answer loud and clear. "It was a mere distraction."

Her head shot right up and her heart picked up its pace. No, no, no, shit!

"I have put together a team right now, and you all will be paying a visit to a St. Mungo's Hospital,"

Fuck, no, no, no.

Suddenly, Voldemort turned to her right where Scarlet stood, and spoke in an intimidatingly low tone, "Is everything alright, Scarlet?" Voldemort asked, squinting towards her widened eyes. "You look quite pale over there, is my plan bothering you?"

She nodded with a gulp. "No— it was quite clever, My Lord."

I hope you die a painful, horrendous death. I hope your limbs are torn out and hung for everyone to see.

Evan shot her a strange look, and Scarlet glared right back before she said, "I'd like to join this mission, actually."

Voldemort curiously chuckled at her words, "I am afraid that is not possible, Scarlet, you cannot risk exposure. Not anymore— there are dangerous times."

"I'll be careful," she spoke right back, and it caused the other Death Eaters to wince. "I'll use a mask like everybody else, I'd like to join, my Lord."

Lord Voldemort blinked sharply, contemplating the advantages and disadvantages before squinting his eyes and concluding an answer. "Very well, you may join Evan, Avery, Bellatrix...."

He said a few more names in the series after those three names—mostly the ones preparing to move up the ranks but Scarlet did not pay attention to those. All she paid attention to was the little voice in her head, navigating her path to seek the patients into safety. Warn them.

Lily was at the hospital along with her son for a check up. Save Lily and Harry.

ST MUNGO'S HOSPITAL
august, 1980

      SCARLET ARRIVED AT ST MUNGO'S IN SHADOWS, DARK AND DENSE shadows surrounding her as she and other death eaters arrived with them. Screams followed, throat-tearing yells of fear overwhelming the air as Bellatrix's cackling laugh tore through the dark air. Shadows emerged from everywhere as they walked in. Nurses were carrying patience away, people were running from the waiting room.

      However, nothing else mattered. Nothing except Lily and Harry mattered to Scarlet at the moment. Surely, it would not take Dumbledore too long to send assistance after Scarlet already sent a Patronus detailing what is about to come, and not to mention a Order member was inside the hospital. People cried, people dropped to the ground as curses shot left and right — blue, green and bloody red filling the atmosphere. None of that mattered but Lily.

      Nothing, nothing.

      When she took a turn into a less crowded corridor, leaving her fellow death eaters away, a little child was on the ground — a sobbing mess in the corner as he struggled to breathe.

      When lucidity struck her, her insides twisted at the boy in front of her. Three talon gashes were carved into his skin like the consequence of a ravenous beast. The boy in front of her was crying violently, screaming out in pain as the vicious gashes in his chest bled out. His shirt was torn, revealing the scars that seeped blood onto his ivory shirt. The scent of intense copper strung her nose and her insides swirled as a cruel bile rose to her throat.

"Salvio Hexia," she muttered at the boy and looked around to make sure nobody noticed her. The boy backed away in fear, and she tilted her head to push her mask away just a little after kneeling down.

"It's okay. It won't hurt you, honey," she cooed. "I need you to be very still, okay?"

      The boy nodded quickly, and Scarlet placed a Healing charm to get rid of as many wounds as she could. He still bled all over the white tiles, but his expression held less pain. She harshly pushed him past the fire exit the moment another swarm of Death Eaters came along.

      Attacking a hospital was the lowest point of humanity in the Wizarding World. Scarlet could not believe—the urge for power simply left Death Eaters sickeningly attacking injured people who were already fighting death. People who were unable to fight back for their life.

      It made her sick.

      She walked back out, black shadows shooting from the tip of her wand.

      Through the mask that covered almost half of her vision, she noticed a familiar, young Order member pointing her wand at her. Scarlet was about to disarm her, or maybe even do something worse until she realised she was only eighteen—joined the Order right after graduating Hogwarts. The girl was shaking, and the moment Scarlet flickered her wand, the young girl's fading voice was hard to decipher through the harsh weight of her spell.

      The girl, however, did not recognise Scarlet through the dark mask.

"Crucio." The young girl whispered, and turned away to run the second she uttered the word—all too terrified. But she didn't run despite fear capsulating her, and any other time, Scarlet would've been proud of her for not leaving.

      Scarlet knew pain. Mental, physical, she was familiar with it. Yet, when that flash of green light billowed and consumed her—a scorching blaze burned her lungs, leaving her gasping for air. Her eyes felt like they were burning out of her sockets, and her heart was thrusted into an unforgiving ice cold and overwhelming magnum. She couldn't breathe or blink and pain of knives dug through every vein and artery attached to her heart, her heart that felt like it was being squeezed until it was frozen.

      An ear-piercing scream tore through her blocked throat, shattering each and every one of her senses and leaving her as a weak, embarrassing fragile mess of bones, unworthy of bystanders' attention or mercy.

      The girl shot the same unforgivable curse again, a torturous surge of suffering eclipsed Scarlet. The ground felt closer, and closer as she fell right against her, her forehead hit the tiled floor with an agonising thud. The surge of green hit her again and the girl shooting it ran away, finally. That last hit of Cruciatus Curse blew up in her head with a terrifying blankness. It was nauseating. She was still quivering. The pain felt like a hot, sharp knife, covered in salt, slicing through her skin and into her muscles and bones, as though her body had been frozen and a bolt of lightning had struck her body from head to toe.

      She thought about Sirius—she wondered how he handled it. Strong, courageous Sirius Black who withstood such curses for years after years, one after the other. Scarlet could not even handle three of those curses without wishing to be dead. Sirius. All she could think about was Sirius—all that love he deserved; what he deserved was for someone to do everything for him, someone better than her. Someone stronger and less selfish, someone who expressed their emotions as though it was as easy as breathing.

      Loving Sirius is as easy as breathing, except, she can't express it physically in any shape or form because she was a pile of crooked bones with an un-beating, cold, fucked-up heart in her ribs.

      White light flashed her vision, and that was when she felt a hand pulling her up—not using much of their force, but enough for Scarlet to get to her feet, walk and walk to the door at the end of the corridor. A flame of burning red hair overtook her vision, and the figure was all too familiar. The girl let go of her with a horrified, strangled gasp—she was holding a baby.

      Red hair, soft cries. Lily. It was Lily holding Harry.

      It was then Scarlet realised through her mind-numbing pain that her mask had fallen off, and she curled her fingers unknowingly to ease the painful rigidness.

"Did anyone see me?" It was a wrong choice of words but it was important.

"I should've let them," Lily's lips trembled, "after what you're doing—I should've let them take you away—my god. What about Sirius, does he know?"

"Lily—"

"What will happen to him when he finds out?" Her booming voice cut through, and the loudness of it escalated the hurt in her head from a dull throb to burning, glaring pain. "Why would you cause him such pain, Scarlet? Why?"

The silence that followed frustrated Lily beyond.

"I knew this was too good to be true—you're just like them, just like your family, you freakin' traitor," Lily shot at her, and her wand was pointed at Scarlet who stood nonchalantly, not making a single move.

"Lily, I can explain—I just need you to listen—"

"I let you in my home," Lily cried quietly, "I let you hold my baby, I treated you like a sister." Her palm was over Harry's head and she held him tightly, clearly demonstrating how scared she was of Scarlet. As though Scarlet would seize her baby-boy away and hurt him in cold blood. "I shared my pain with you, Scars."

"I'm working for the Order." She stated, and before she could choose the next words, Lily cut in again with a cruel chuckle.

"You're betraying us. I can't believe you'd be so cruel, Scarlet," the redhead felt a lump in her throat, and suddenly, she noticed how teary Scarlet's eyes were, how much hurt danced in them. She wondered if that was a result of being caught or full-on regret. "We treated you like family."

"I attend You-Know-Who's meetings as a Death Eater to gather information for Dumbledore."

Lily laughed again, mixed with astonishment and sorrow, finding her words pure nonsense, "Oh God, that was good, it was such a good excuse, Scarlet."

"Lily, shut up— just shut up!" She exclaimed, eyes widening in fury and equal pain.

"What are you doing, Scarlet?" Lily said, and she asked the question in a way that indicated disappointment, as though she felt sorry for her.

"I don't know what the fuck you want me to do!" Scarlet roared, sizzling in pain and rage, watching the redhead taking a step back in sudden fear. Her fingers still clutched onto her wand. "I don't know how I can prove—do you want to look into my mind? I'll show you, I'll show you everything if that means you can believe that I'm not evil."

      It was like not a single person in the world trusted her. Sometimes, she thought even Sirius felt threatened by her, as though her mere gaze was lethal. Was she really so untrustworthy? 

      The next few seconds went ahead pretty quickly. Scarlet stood as Lily stepped forward, and her fingers touched the temple of her head. Scarlet showed her what she needed—the meetings with Dumbledore where she reveals necessary information about Voldemort's next attacks. The thoughts and memories were shot and simple to grasp.

When Lily stepped away, Scarlet shrugged, "What else do I have to do to prove—?"

"You don't. I'm sorry, Scars," she tiredly rubbed the pinch of her nose, letting her eyelids fall shut. "I'm really sorry, I know you're better, I shouldn't have doubted you."

"Yeah," Scarlet scoffed. She did not exactly blame Lily, after all, she was literally wearing a Death-Eater's mask performing dark magic, yet, some words always shot to kill her heart. "You all keep saying that but the moment something seems out of place, all I am is a goddamn Bridget, a Slytherin you despise."

      When Lily put down Harry into a tiny crib next to her was when Scarlet understood that the redhead trusted her enough, she moved towards her and seized the blonde by her forearm, and sat her down, running a hand through her hair and healing the wound on her forehead—a small cut that Scarlet could not even feel through the breath-taking flame of hurt.

      They talked for a while. Lily asked questions and Scarlet explained—it made sense, really. Lily often wondered why Scarlet and Sirius stayed back to speak to Dumbledore after every meeting.

"I feel so alone," she choked out suddenly, trying to hide a sob. "Eve moved far away, I cannot carelessly go and visit since it'll risk exposure; all my other friends—people I grew up with work for the very cause that took everything from me... and then Regulus..." Lily nodded in an understanding manner, sitting next to her on the hospital bed. "And I return home everyday, Sirius is too bitter and tired from all the missions. I'm too tired. Mentally. Physically." She explained, "I don't want to be alone anymore, Lily, I'm just... I'm so sick of feeling alone."

"You know, at the end of the day, you'll always have Sirius... you have James and me." Lily tried comforting. "You have so many people who love you, Scarlet."

      Scarlet sobbed as she shook her head, pushing her words of comfort away.

"But I'm not free, I can't even go out for a drink," she felt childish as she said those words. "Would it be wrong to say I don't want to do this anymore?"

      Lily was taken aback, nobody ever hinted that they wanted out. Everybody found pleasure in serving the Order. She didn't know what to say, so she didn't say anything at all.

"It's like I have to distance everyone I love because everything I love turns into blood and ashes," she sobbed again, humiliated at her own state. "If loving a person hurts this much, I don't think I want it—"

"Don't say something like that," Lily cut her off before she could utter things she would regret. It was inevitable—the complicity of loving someone—especially with a war on the horizon. "Love is the most beautiful part of us, and it's what makes us human, and without love, there is nothing to live for, Scarlet."

"And how do I know all of it isn't over?" She asked quietly.

"Because when you face something terrible, or earn something victorious, who is the first person you run to?" Lily softly asked, and the look in Scarlet's face told her that the answer was Sirius Black. It has always been Sirius.

"What if he falls out of love with me?" Scarlet whispered, the thought of it made her break. "I'm not good at being open or... showing affection, what if he gets sick of it?" Fear made her lips tremble, and Lily's heart broke at her sight and thoughts. "I don't think I can live in a world where he doesn't love me."

The redhead's lips parted. "I—" she was lost for words. "He loves you, Scarlet."

"He deserves something good, someone who can—I don't know—show that they love him. Someone who doesn't crush his hope, or have him walk on eggshells around them, someone that's not as twisted and crooked as me,"

      Scarlet had so much self-doubt, it was embarrassing.

"Sirius deserves whatever he wants, I second that," Lily softly spoke, biting the insides of her cheeks. "And what he wants is you." A beat of silence passed before she spoke again, "It's the little things that count, Scars, constant affection is never as fulfilling as actions—doing something caring or... I don't know, surprise him with a nice dinner."

"A dinner, really?" Scarlet deadpanned.

"Yes!" Exclaimed the girl, clapping her hands together. "Watch a movie. Talk. Any sense of normalcy."

Scarlet nodded, "I need a break."

"I know," Lily softly uttered, intertwining their fingers.

BRIDGET HOUSE

      "ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" SIRIUS ASKED THE SECOND SCARLET stepped into the house, worry capsulating his wide eyes as he scrutinised her, searching for injuries. "I heard about what happened— Jesus, Scarlet, you have no idea how many people you saved today."

      Scarlet approached him, fast.

      She pulled him into a kiss so eagerly, he almost melted on the spot. Quickly, she pushed him against the wall behind him, hands roaming all over his body and not de-attaching their lips. One of her hands reached under his white shirt. He shivered under the touch of her freezing gloves so deeply, a groan emitted from his throat. He felt her thrust her hip against his body.

      She pulled away for a second, taking off her black robes that she wears to Death Eaters' meetings. She felt so, so disgusted in those clothes. Then, she harshly kissed him again.

      Scarlet found such a peculiar comfort in the desperate kiss, she couldn't get enough. Her teeth bit his lower lip, tongue pushing deeper and taking the taste of his mouth. She wanted to feel him, taste him. Have him. All of him.

"Scarlet," he hums into her mouth. Her lips left his and trailed wet kisses down his jaw, and the fire that sparked at the movement made him throw his head back in pleasure. "Fuck,"

      She kissed his neck harshly. Needily, her mouth hovered over the expanse below his ear and her fingers unbuttoned his shirt. One by one. Quickly. A sweet whimper left his lips.

"Hold on—" she was stopped by another grunt from him as her lips moved down his bare chest, his vision went blurry at the action. The way she trailed wet kisses against the skin of his chest, hands holding him in place, "We can't do this."

"Sirius, we can." All she said, looking up at him through her lashes, breathing against his bare chest. She stood straight again, taking his hesitant lips in hers and holding his neck in her hands. "We can do anything..."

However, Sirius pulled away, breathless and still in need. He held her face. "Blondie—no, you—" he looked into her eyes, glancing between her irises. "You're shaking. You're shaking."

"I'll be fine."

      Scarlet tried to kiss him again, still flustered and tone raspy. Shallowing his urges, Sirius tilted his head away, not allowing their lips to attach no matter how much he resisted otherwise.

"Sirius, please," her hands dropped to his chest, palm resting in a defeated manner. "Can you just—" she let her eyelids fall shut. "I want your touch, I want— I need you... please."

Her voice was tight, and Sirius couldn't continue. "No, Blondie—no."

"Sirius," frustrated, she pulled away and started to feel empty again. A hand ran over her face and she pinched the bridge of her nose with a grunt. "Dammit, this is what we're meant to do!"

"What are you talking about?" Sirius asked, confused.

"You're meant to—we're meant to make each other forget about everything else, you said so."

"We're not stupid teens anymore," Sirius defeatedly answered, and the colour from her face washed away. "You can't just do this to distract yourself, talk to me."

      Scarlet just stands there, disappointed but Sirius did not care about that. Hurriedly, he approached her and took her face in his hands, brows pinched together as he examined her.

"Fuck, fuck, you were cursed, aren't you—?"

"It's not what you think," she pulled away from his touch and started to feel cold again.

"I know the signs!" Sirius exclaimed, throwing his hands up. "Who did this?"

"They didn't know."

"I asked for a name." He sternly stated.

"They didn't know!" Scarlet huffed loudly. "I–I was in a mask and they thought I'm a... Death Eater, I was on the other side."

"Bullshit! You don't go on missions."

"I did today," she saw the flicker of confusion run through his eyes. "Lily was there and I knew Dumbledore would take his goddamn time to help... so I went with them, trying to protect her and Harry and others..."

"Merlin," Sirius breathed out.

"It wasn't their fault, they were just looking out for innocent people," her voice was croaked and breathless, and her forehead softly rested on his as they stood in the middle of the kitchen.

"So, they fucking hit you with the Cruciatus Curse?" He raged, volume increasing with every word.

"You're not listening, it wasn't their fault," Scarlet's voice turned to a pleading one, "I would've done the same thing."

Sirius sighed, "I just wish there was something I could do to protect you."

Scarlet smiled softly, doing her best to assure him. "It's okay... you're doing perfect, you're all I need—"

"You were hurt, and I couldn't do anything—I didn't even know."

"It's okay," she repeated. "It's all okay, Sirius, you're here. That's what matters to me."

Sirius nodded and a momentary silence overwhelmed the air, then, softly, he tugged at her biceps, "C'mere," Scarlet wrapped her arms around his waist as he pulled her closer, her face pressed against his chest with his hand at the back of her neck.

      They stood there underneath the dim candles, and Scarlet let her eyelids fall shut at the beautiful rhythm of his heart.

      Scarlet woke up the next morning in Sirius' arms, her head resting on his bicep as her head was buried in the crook between his neck and shoulder. She opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was the peaceful, structured face of him.

      He snored lightly, and his dark hair strand fell on his face which she removed softly. In the end, she couldn't get enough of him. His soft lips, the head full of dark hair practically structured by the gods themselves.

"Are you trying to memorise my face?" He spoke suddenly in a hoarse tone, eyes still shut.

She smiled to herself, flushing. "I already have."

His lips curled up before he let his eyes open, instantly locking with hers. His hand ran softly through her hair, weaving in between.

He watched her carefully, shifting to get a better look at her. "What's on your mind?"

Carefully, she whispered, hoping— begging to the universe that nothing goes wrong.

"D'you still love me? No matter what?"

      Then, physically, she felt the moment stop. The wind stopped blowing and the clock hit a stop. Silence engulfed the couple at a moment she wanted anything but mere silence. As though a second in life had made her realise she lost.

       When she looked into the bored, feelingless eyes of his, it was almost like he had reached a conclusion. A conclusion that told him he got everything wrong in his life. Including Scarlet.

      Scarlet abruptly sat up, trying to get her blood flow. Trying to get her heart pumped before it came to a dead-end stop.

      Make it stop, make it stop.

"Sirius. Sirius, I love you," tears spilled against her will, and she wanted to dig herself a hole and bury her own soul. "I love you so much."

"Opening up like that after all this is over, ruined, is not going to bring us back, Scarlet." Sirius spoke in a nonchalant manner, as though his thoughts and feelings were predictable and obvious.

      Her lips parted and trembled. A ache in her heart formed, as though a cactus bloomed in her chest. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't speak.

      Sirius sat up as though he had nothing to lose from this conversation and stared ahead. "When I come home from a long day of fighting in a war—caused by the people that are exactly like the family you come from—it's not that satisfying to see you anymore."

"Sirius." She whispered. Stop, please, stop.

"I don't look forward to seeing you anymore—what does that tell me," he questioned rhetorically. "So, no, I don't think I'm in love with you anymore."

"Sirius, please."

      Don't leave me, please, don't leave me. She wanted to yell. She wanted to scream but all her abilities fell short. It felt so ugly, the urge to end it all came back. Meeting the end of life did not seem any more miserable when she compared it to the feeling of losing Sirius.

      Sirius, who doesn't love her. Sirius, who is no longer eager to come home to her. Sirius, whose heartbeat was no longer in rhythm with hers.

"Sirius," she cried softly, placing her palm against her eyes so harshly, it hurt.

"Shut up," he muttered, looking away.

"Don't leave me," she said, leaning over to grip his bicep, "don't leave—"

      The moment her fingers touched his skin, within a blink of an eye, Scarlet's throat was brutally seized. Sirius slammed her back on the bed, head hitting the headboard with such a force that she started to see black dots in her vision, eyes widening and red veins deepening.

Her blood frosted over. "Sirius."

A dark, shadowy look casted over the wizard's eyes, "you're so fucking pathetic if you think anyone will ever love you—"

"Please," she choked out, lips parting to gasp for air. She looked into his terrifying eyes as he stayed atop her, those cloudy eyes. "Let go, let go, it hurts."

"Look at you," he cruelly chuckled and Scarlet's eyelids fell shut because her Sirius wouldn't do this, right? He would not hold her down like this, fingers around her throat until it bruised and she could not find a single drop of air, his knees pressing at her hips at either side of her. "A sobbing, begging mess under me 'cause that's all you're good for."

      The witch's breath trembled erratically, and she could feel the slowing down of her blood pumping in her ears, begging to get away. She writhed in his vicious grip, throat aching, heart aching.

His fingers tightened as he leaned, pressing his body weight against her chest, "do you know what I think of you?" He whispered in her ear, giving her skin a feather-like touch. Hot breath tickling her neck as she trembled under him.

"You're a pathological psychopath, and you'll always be..." he paused, and then seated harshly against her ear, teeth grazing her skin brutally. A cry emitted from her throat despite her lungs being constricted. Her nails dug into his biceps, "...alone."

      Her hand was then reaching for her wand on the bedside table despite her promises to never ever wield her wand at him, and an Unforgivable Curse was ringing in her head as she felt all the air being thrown out of her lungs. Just then, just before she could cast a spell, his words stopped her movement.

"Wake up," he menacingly whispered, lips brushing hers, "Wake up, Scarlet," he whispered again.

"Stop—"

"Wake up, wake up!" The volume of his voice rose, "WAKE UP!"

      Scarlet was awakened with a horrifying gasp, a cry emitted from the back of her throat is a rasp. Sirius was at her side, stopping his yelling for her to wake up as he shook her limp body. Scarlet looked into his eyes. Not that shadowy, foggy look but they were back to its usual, calming grey. Stars glinting in them.

Sirius

Sirius

Her Sirius.

      Sirius pulled away, watching her sit up straight and clap her palm over her mouth to stifle undying sobs and merciless tears.

"Blonds, hey, hey, you're okay," Sirius held her quicker than possible, arms around her body to shield her from whatever terror encapsulated her. "You're okay, I'm right here, you're just fine."

When she felt his familiar touch on her skin, she wrapped her arms around his neck, tightly hugging him. Almost as though he was water, and he might slip away. He hugged her back with the same level of eagerness, mumbling sweet things in her hair as she sobbed.

"I love you," she cried to him, crying and crying. "I love you, Sirius, I love you."

Sirius wondered what caused her to be so open all of the sudden but muttered back as quickly as he could. "I love you, too."

"You love me." She spoke in a raspy tone, the statement came out as a question that she was trying to confirm.

"Of course, of course, darling, are you kidding? You're all that matters to me."

"I'm sorry," she pulled away to wipe her tears away using both of her hands.

Sirius looked at her shaking hand and took them into his own hold, squeezing them lightly. Three times.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"For what, sweetheart?" He silently asked. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I love you," she cried. Sobbed and sniffed in his arms.

"I know, I know, honey," he nodded, "I promise you, you didn't do any wrong— you're okay, I'm right here."

"I had a bad dream, that's all." She revealed, sobbing lightly.

      Sirius wanted to build a cage around her and push away all the creatures of pain. He wanted to know what or who had hurt her this much to make her reach this state. If he could take all her pain and bottle it up in his own heart until it rots, he would.

"Whatever nightmare you had, it couldn't possibly be worse than mine," Sirius started to smirk, and Scarlet prepared herself for the most astonishingly horrible thing he was bound to say, "I had a dream, Prongs farted and our entire house collapsed."

"Sirius, that's disgusting— why are you dreaming about something like that?" Scarlet pushed away his chest, shaking her head and leaning against the headboard, "unbelievable."

      Sirius laughed the moment a little smile made its way to her lips, and he threw his head back to let out another peal of loud laughter.

"It's not funny," she sternly said between little laughs, the frown disappearing.

He looked down at her, and then leaned down to whisper softly in her ears, his breath tickling her skin, "I've been considering last night's offer,"

"Oh, yeah?"

"Oh, yeah," he agreed, kissing her.

Suddenly, he was on top of her, elbows resting on either side of her eagerly as he deepened the touch of their bodies. His hands started to move up and down from her waist to her hips, gripping at the expanse tightly with earnestness.

"Sirius," she mumbled against his lips, " I gotta shower before everything else; you know how I function."

Sirius pulled away with a tiny, childish pout, "Let me join, love?"

Scarlet arched her brow, "do whatever you want," she jokingly said, smirking as she turned her head away from his gaze.

His gaze still held concern and he voiced them, "are the nightmares back, Blonds?"

Scarlet took a second to answer and he patiently waited, "Sometimes," she choked out, "I thought they were normal ones, y'know, but recently... they started to feel too real just like before."

"If something happens, you'll tell me, right?" He spoke, giving her lips a feather-like touch as they brushed hers.

"You'll be the first one I tell," she said to him softly, "I promise."

𝑪𝑨𝑹𝑨 𝑺𝑷𝑬𝑨𝑲𝑺

guys, this book is going on longer than I
anticipated and I'm sorry about that.

there is just so much of everyone's dynamics
I want to show you, and it's important to me
that my stories reflect reality and decipher 
the entire lore of the marauders, which is A LOT.

anyways, hope u liked this chapter, and let me know
what you'd like to see!