𝗔𝗖𝗧 𝗜𝗜 ━━ 𝗗𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗢𝗬 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗠𝗜𝗗𝗗𝗟𝗘
074. what sort of feeling

( songs for the chapter:
seven — taylor swift)

          𝗜𝗧 𝗪𝗔𝗦 𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗟𝗟 𝗦𝗡𝗢𝗪𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗦𝗜𝗗𝗘, 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗪𝗛𝗜𝗧𝗘 𝗕𝗟𝗔𝗡𝗞𝗘𝗧 overshone the dark night. What's wrong with me? I don't understand what's wrong with me. 

      The events of the night led Scarlet to the garden of the Potter residence, sitting on the ground with her back against a cold wall as she watched the flowers planted under the starry sky. A rose in her hands as she picked out the petals of it, one by one. Lost in the train of her thoughts. One of the thorns from the roses pricked into her hand and she winced.

      The same hand she used to point that wand at Sirius. And suddenly, without thinking, she allowed the thorns to dig into her skin again. Crimson sputtered from mere spots, running down her dainty fingers and covering the plethora of silver rings. Breath caught in her throat, she swore she deserved it.

      The pain.

      The suffering.

      The brutal words. The stinging pain in the palm of her hand. The blossoming pain in her heart. She ruined everything. She had the last bit of hope rising in her life and she threw it away because she had no control. No control.

      All she could see was bright red. As though a scarlet paint blurred her vision. Her hand ached. Frantically, she took out the wand that rested in the pocket of her dress, dug her palm into the sharp crow head of it in rage, and harshly threw it across the garden with a cry. She did not want it anymore. Her safety net—that wand she instinctively carried everywhere for her defense, she wanted to burn that piece of wood until it disappeared. Scarlet was sick of herself. So sick of being who she is.

"Fuck," she tugged at her hair, hoping the burning sensation on her scalp would ease the hurt of her heart. "Fuck,"

      Wondering why her first instinct was always to draw blood, she allowed her cobalt eyes to set back onto the sky filled with constellations again. The sky she used to admire with him. Sirius. Sirius attacked first. Attacked her with the jumble of all insecurities she ever trusted him with, mercilessly. Squinting her eyes, she could see Constellation Carina shining brighter than most nights, brimming right down at her, making her tears glisten. 

      And now both of their hands were covered in each other's blood.

      She had given him everything she held close in her chest, hadn't she? She let him in. She shared her vulnerabilities, displayed her insecurity and let her mask slip; she slept with him. That meant a lot to her. Hell, she showed him her scars, mental and physical ones. So, it was all a big fucking deal to her. 

      All she had been was a mere fuck. A name on the list. Scarlet Bridget had been just a useless fucking name on Sirius Black's list of conquests. 

      This made her feel so damn stupid. 

      Suddenly, she composed herself by pulling her hand out of her hair and shoving her fingers into her pockets when she heard another shuffling next to her, a figure sitting right beside her with a loud exhale. She pulled her knees up to her chest more.

"What was that—let me see that," James Potter—whose brows were pinched together in concern—urgently muttered, leaning forward to tug at her arm sharply.

She shoved his hand away, not rudely. "Don't touch me."

"Bridget, let me see." He sternly snapped back, watching a wry expression in Scarlet's eyes. Slowly, she pulled out her hand and pushed her palm against his face, exaggeratedly touching his glasses. His head was thrown back a little at her childish action.

"See, all good." She nonchalantly said.

      James squinted his eyes with his head tilted back, wrapped his fingers around her wrist, pulled her hand away from his glasses, and ran his hazel eyes over the expanse of her pale, smooth skin. Using her silence as an opportunity, he leaned forward again and tugged at her other hand, pulling it out of her pocket.

"Potter!" She hissed at his lack of consent, shoving his hand away again.

      His eyes overcame with horror, glancing between her morbidly injured hand and her dull eyes and back to her hand. She did not waste a second to hide her hand away from him, snatching it away and letting it drop in her lap. James' jaw dropped, and a layer of gloss rested on his hazel orbs. He couldn't stand it. The sight of blood.

      James took out his wand and lent his hand out to her, and Scarlet exhaled softly. Silently obeying his gesture, she placed her bloodied hand on his hand and felt his grip tighten around her wrist as though he was trying to maintain composure.

      Muttering a healing spell, he saw as the blood was cleansed and the cuts vanished, watching her skin become smooth once again, a few scars remained because he was a shit healer. He ran a thumb over her palm gently and then quickly let it go.

      Scarlet hoped he did not ask any questions. Not regarding what she had done to herself—she did not have an answer. For a moment, the pain of it all felt good. She felt in control. At least she was not hurting anybody else.

"Just don't... don't do it again," he muttered quietly, the corners of his lips tilting downwards. "Please."

      A beat of silence passed and Scarlet did not answer him,

"What has happened?" He exhaled, asking as though he didn't even hesitate to know of someone else's pain. As though he cared about everything despite who the person was. The Bridget was not used to such an aura.

      'What has happened?' The question took Scarlet by shock. She didn't expect someone who she barely speaks to without insulting, to be empathetic, let alone James Potter. Perhaps it was the effect her family brought upon her—assuming no one really cares about the other unconditionally. And as if one question brought a million pieces of hurt to break through the barrier of her eyes, tears spilled down her cheekbones.

      You literally see and hear things like one of those freaks.

      It was the first time in what she thought months Scarlet let her troubled and locked-up emotions shed. Because the question James asked meant he cared, and it's no shame to portray emotions to someone who cared. At least that's what she grew to think. She could see it in his eyes and only wondered how someone had such kindness in their heart. Those genuine bulbs of sage and brown looking at her as though he was hurting from seeing her hurt. A girl he should not be giving a fuck about.

      All the words Sirius left were ringing in her head, the moment he broke apart her chest and ripped her heart out.

      Selfish. Entitled. Egoistic.

"None of it was real." She didn't lock eyes with him again, instead, she stayed looking forward, watching the stars burning bright in the dark sky. She thought of how Sirius was the bright light in her darkness. Almost as though every bit of mother nature brought her back to him. She couldn't stop thinking about him. "He would rather get tortured than be with me, he thinks—he thinks I'm pathetic,"

"You're pathetic—? you?" James sounded confused, desperately trying to follow and make sure his thoughts were not right. Because they didn't sound right. 

"He never even liked me, all these acts were just a big fuck you to his mother," she utters in disbelief, shaking her head repeatedly, "he just strung me along in his game like I'm a fucking toy."

"Wait, you're talking about Padfoot? He said that to you?"

He was met with momentary silence. Scarlet lets him be puzzled on whether he is right or wrong, not giving him the satisfaction of a proper answer. Then she spoke in a crooked voice. "He hates me, he hates me."

He shifted in his position, eyes as wide as a deer. "You, Scarlet Bridget, are crying over Sirius Black." He found it unbelievable. Because Sirius truly looked as though he was devoted to her. Despite the tears welling in her eyes, she gave him an infamous roll of her eyes. "That's... bullshit." He spat.

      Scarlet chuckled lightly through her tears, squeezing the petals in her hand with the uttermost pain hitting her chest. James didn't know what to do—so he did what he would have done to one of his family or friends. He brought his arms up and wrapped them around the blonde. Although she was caught off-guard at the act, she soon melted in, hugging him back as she sobbed in his chest. 

"You know you don't have to cry elegantly," said James. "It's okay, Bridget."

      She sobbed a little more disorderly. Her mascara-filled grey-black tears soaked into his Christmas jumper. His hands ran through her hair in a means of comfort, and her hands clutched onto his collar tightly. It was the most free she felt expressing her emotions; James Potter did not have a single bit of judgemental personality written in his blood. It made it easier for her to shove her elegance and stone-cold facade aside.

      If anyone had told her she would be spilling her worthy tears over Sirius Black—that in the arms of James Potter in the middle of the night, she would have probably hexed them for being so stupid and absurd.

     Then, joining the pair was another familiar voice.

"Jamesie, can you—oh, what in Godric's name—?" a feminine gasp jolted James and Scarlet apart, she hid her face in her palms and wiped her tears away. James was flabbergasted at the sight of her changing her expression so quickly, the neutral aura now coming back and she held a rigid face.

"No, it's not—no, mum, no," James stumbled over his words, shaking his head at his mother's gaping voice, the two teens looked absolutely repulsed at Mia's unsaid suggestions, "it's not like that."

"I was just upset about what's happened," Scarlet admitted with a sheepish smile, as she saw the woman's shoulders visibly relax. "He was just comforting me,"

"Yep," James agreed, popping the 'p'.

"Oh, darling," Mrs Potter was as good at detecting feelings and caring about others as James was, the boy inheriting the trait from his mother. She kneeled and placed a kiss on the young witch's forehead. "That boyfriend of yours will be fine... and do know that he'll never be going back there, I'll make sure of it,"

"We're very glad you brought him here. Otherwise, he may not have had the courage to do so, Bridget." James smiled at her.

Scarlet turned to Mrs Potter and sent her a thankful look. "You guys are a good family, Mia..." Scarlet did not know such love existed, the one that came without conditions. "And you're very lucky, Potter." James nodded lightly at his words, and he was not going to deny he was blessed with good, caring parents.

Mrs Potter sent her a dismissive wave of hand to ensure it was not a big deal and muttered to the two of them. "Come inside, you two, it's cold out here." Mia sternly told the two and made her way inside the house.

Euphemia entered the house and left the door open for the two teens.

Scarlet watched as James stood up and brushed some pieces of twigs away from his shirt, "You're a good person, too, Potter." She smiled softly, but it did not reach her eyes. "Insufferably good."

"What is it with you and negative adjectives?" James held her hand and helped her to her feet, urgently dragging her inside.

"It was not an adjection, 'insufferably' is an adverb." She corrected.

James rolled his eyes, "But insufferable is an adjective, right? Because that's what you are." He then continued with a mischief-filled smirk, "Besides, I know I'm awesome. Awesome is also an adjective."

"Don't let any of it get to your insufferably big head," she sternly told him. "Use of adverb again, by the way." 

Suddenly, the cheeky mischief from his eyes was gone and it dropped to momentary misery, he glanced at her hand again. "Don't do that again, please—"

Scarlet was about to assure him it was the heat of the moment, she didn't harm herself. "Only if you go and find my wand. I'll do anything, promises, unbreakable vows, or whatever."

"You lost your wand?" He rested his palms on his hips as though he was her mother, scolding her. Scoffing, he pulled open the garden door. "Accio, Bridget's wand!" He yelled as loud as he could; he got a hold of the wooden piece and handed it to her.

"I won't," she told him and James sent her a satisfactory smile, "I won't do it again."

"All right, Scarlet, why don't you stay in the guest room downstairs for the night, hm?" Fleamont came to the pair with his wife from the dining room, glancing between them and smiling. "It's quite late."

Scarlet had no intention of staying. "Thanks for offering, Mr Potter, but I think I'll get going now."

"She should go," James nodded at his parents who stood nearby and knew it was best Scarlet and Sirius were away from each other for a few moments, "I'll go check up on Sirius." He ran off.

Mia placed a hand on the girl's elbow. "Let's get you all ready to leave then."

Euphemia went ahead and passed her a bowl of powder with a smile. Scarlet stared at the Floo-Powder for a few seconds, her breath hitching. She never liked travelling through the Floo-Network.

"Go on, dear," Mia encouraged Scarlet who seemed a little wry about leaving the Potters at this time of the night. She simply could not stay under the same roof as Sirius. She could not go back home either; her mother must be furious, she was never going to let Scarlet set another foot in her house. Mia did not need to know that, Scarlet did not want to burden the woman. 

Sighing miserably, she turned to her, "Thank you for your hospitality."

"Don't you worry, remember, you're always welcome here if anything happens," Mia reminded. "Are you sure you'll be okay to go back home?" Home.

"I am sure, thanks," she replied politely. "Goodnight, Mia." Stepping onto the fireplace, she used the Floo Powder and clearly stated the address Everest had told her she lived at. 

"Merry Christmas!"

      WITH A USUAL BRIGHT SMILE, JAMES ENTERED HIS BEDROOM and saw Sirius shuffling through his records. It was common for Black to come over to the Potters and run his hand over everything James owned—things Walburga hated. Muggle records and magazines. 

Sirius looked at him and popped down on James' double bed, shuffling along to the middle with his back against the headboard as James sat beside him, an exhale of relief left Potter's lips. 

James snaked an arm around Sirius' shoulder in a boyish manner as a means to comfort him. "All right, you?"

"Can't say so, no," Sirius sighed, "sorry about showing up without warning, I didn't even know she'd bring me here."

"I'm glad she did, Pads," James settled a cup of coffee that he had brought for him on the bed-side table. "She's a lifesaver, isn't she? I mean, quite literally."

Sirius rolled his eyes and James' gaze trained on him, trying to calculate his expressions. Potter knew what he was doing, and he knew where he was going to slowly drag this conversation. 

"Mum made you coffee, with three sugars, and vanilla." James tapped on the cup, grinning nonchalantly. 

"Mia truly is a lifesaver," Sirius chuckled with a strained voice leaving his lips. "Quite literally."

      James' smile fell and his eyes lingered on the plaster around Sirius' arm. James put himself above the idea of killing. He did not consider himself so low to take a life. But at the moment, he could kill whoever had hurt his brother to such an extent. He wished for pain. He wished misery upon them.

"Concerned, Prongs?" Sirius grinned that usual grin of his, "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine now that you're here."

The Potter rolled his eyes at the vain attempt of flirting. "Smooth, Pads, may I remind you that you're taken?" James shot him a wry glance, parts of him brimming with ache for his injured best friend and the other with nervousness with what he had just blurted out.

He noticed Sirius stiffen, tossing around like a child under his heavy blanket. A muscle in his jaw ticked. 

"What?" Asked Potter innocently.

"Nothing," Sirius' voice remained strained. "You'll be glad to know that Bridget and I... it's all over now, you don't have to tolerate a serpent in our tower anymore."

"Padfoot, so, before the holidays, I met Bridget in the library," with James' words, Sirius' curiosity perked up. "I told her you..."

"Told her what?" Sirius asked urgently, sitting up a little more as soon as James fell silent, trailing off.

"I told her you two are... that you should take your relationship a step further because you have feelings for each other," Potter said. 

"Feelings?" Sirius gave him a look of disbelief in utter denial. "You're the one who put that bullshit in her head?"

"So if you need someone to blame for things going wrong, blame me." James firmly told him, not a second of doubt in his tone. "Don't take it out on her." After a beat of silence, he added, "And it's not bullshit."

"I didn't take anything out on her, I told her the truth—it's her who had forgotten what all of this was about."

"See, you keep pushing the blame on her," James pointed out. "You accuse her of being heartless, but I don't think she's the only one afraid of feelings."

      James Potter knew how to comfort upset individuals. He did not know how to comfort upset Slytherins which is why the incident in the garden made his brain fuzzy. At that moment, he was frustrated. He was frustrated at his best friend for hurting his other friend. Perhaps, somewhere in the haze, he had grown to care for the girl. Somewhere along the way, he chose to do the right thing rather than the easier thing.

"A few months ago, if you told me you were sleeping with Scarlet fucking Bridget," James started, "I would have kicked you in the face."

"Thanks, Prongs, I really needed to know that." Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Because we hate Slytherins, and her, we were quite scared of her—"

"Only you three, not me—"

"Whatever," the Potter scoffed. "I get she used to despise your mere existence. And I know you hated her and everything she was associated with, you'd call her names all the time when talking to her, and she goes against everything you believe in, everything you're trying to rebel against..." 

He stopped to take a deep inhale. 

James looked him in the eye, "But this sort of feeling will always overpower any sort of dislike and rebellious tactics, Padfoot."

"And what sort of feeling is that?"

James was taken aback. "Well... love."

      Sirius bit his lips, chewing on them before he could provide a reaction to the words James had said.

"You can't overpower love." James whispered. "No matter how strong the hatred or the annoyance may be." 

"You've lost your damn mind." The injured boy scoffed.

James shook his head in defense and spoke truthfully, "No, no, this is actually the most of my mind I've used in my entire life."

      "I get you started this off with a stupid prank... but somewhere along the way, it got real, it got so real, you started to become scared of it." He concluded, "But it's nothing to be scared of, Padfoot, look at Lily and me... we're not together yet but we're happy. We're happy to go on dates and spend time together. Being in love isn't a curse—in fact, what's the point of life without love?"

Sirius locked eyes with his friend who seemed absolutely certain about his statements. "She's a—"

"A Bridget, a pureblood, a perfect little pretentious Slytherin, utterly aggravating, yes, I know, you only used to remind me every day," James held his hand in the means to pursue, rambling in annoyance. "But when this sort of feeling comes to the surface, it's not going to work according to your million expectations... it's unpredictable."

"You're suggesting your relationship with Lily was unpredictable?" Sirius deadpanned. 

      James' heart skipped a beat. His story with Lily was not unpredictable, however, chapters of his life with someone else certainly were unexpected. "Maybe not, Padfoot, but the things that happened along the way were surely unpredictable."

      A scoff came from Black's lips at how terribly cliche his words sounded.

"There's nothing I can do." Sirius fiddled with the bandage around his broken arm. "Scarlet doesn't care about anything—she doesn't have the heart to do so. And I'm not going to spend my time trying to find a way to apologise to her and prove that I care."

      Lies, lies, lies.

James shook his head in disappointment. "Then you're no better." It was harsh—but Sirius spent almost his entire Hogwarts years complaining about the lack of empathy Scarlet held for others, so when he, himself, refuses to hold regard for her feelings... how can he claim to be better than her?

      And then, instantly, within a beat of a heart, James spoke again.

"I'm sorry," said Potter. "That was wrong."

"She almost hexed me," Sirius bit the insides of his cheeks, staring at the wall venomously. "She tried blowing my head off, you're still going to suggest that I'm no better because I would've never done that to her."

      James furrowed his brows, and a flood of confusion hit his heart. If Scarlet had aimed to make him bleed first, then why was she so crestfallen? 

      Sirius was still zoned out, misery blowing his mind out. If she could have tried hexing him every time they got into an argument, then he was not safe with her, was he? After all, her mother only hit her after he did something that would rage the woman or speak up against her. With that parallel, how was he meant to ever feel safe with Scarlet?

      It took him a moment to realise he drew blood first, he aimed to shatter her trust into a million pieces. if roles were reversed... what would he have done? He only told James the truth to make sure he understood his frustration.

"Why would she do such a vile thing?" James asked with a tiny frown. "That's unfair."

Sirius could not bear to lie to James, "'Cause I broke it off with her." He lied through gritted teeth anyway.

James blinked blankly, "She almost hexed you because you broke up with her." He deadpanned. Potter's statement came out more like a question, and he did not believe a word coming out of Black's lips.

Sirius let his eyelids fall shut in shame, "I called her pathetic and told her I'm only with her because she's a good shag." 

"Godric fuckin' Gryffindor, I would've hexed you too." James groaned loudly, throwing his head back in irritation. 

Sirius shot him a deadpan look, and James chuckled with a shake of his head as he rubbed his temple in disbelief. Between the haze of everything, Potter was glad his best friend was safe. That he was with him now, and no harm could reach him. 

      They were brothers. Sirius Black always had a brother and it was James Potter.

      TRAVEL THROUGH FLOO-NETWORK WAS NEVER EASY, Scarlet thought she was going to be caught on fire even though she never really did. And when she arrived, clatters of forks and spoons dropping could be heard, as though someone had been startled.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" A mature, feminine voice yelled, chair creaking behind the brunette woman as she pushed to stand. "What in God's name was that? What the hell is going on?"

      Scarlet's jaw dropped in horror, wondering if she had arrived at the wrong place. It turns out she did not. At the woman's horrified expression, another man—presumably her husband burst out into a peal of loud laughter, not being able to contain it. There were a set of triplets who gaped at the presence, they could not be more than two years older than her. All of their ears had gone red from trying to stiffen out their laughter.

"This isn't funny! Who are you, are you a ghost? Eve, is this one of the ghosts?" The woman questioned her vigorously, stumbling away and then glancing between her daughter and the new face. "How did you enter, you... intruder!"

      She threw a piece of bread at the Bridget and missed. The bread landed in the fireplace with a tiny thud. An awkward silence took over until one of the boys snorted and burst into a peal of laughter.

"Mum, calm yourself, that's no intruder... it's who I've told you about, it's my friend."

      The voice eased Scarlet at once, she definitely was not in the wrong house. When she laid eyes on Everest, all she wanted was to run and wrap her arms around the girl. Have the brunette envelop her with her warmth and peace. 

"JESUS CHRIST!" The woman huffed in a state of panic. "But... I don't understand!"

"Scarlet, what the fuck are you doing here?" Everest hissed, running towards her from where she was sitting.

"Mind your language, young lady!" Mr Chasseur—most likely he was—exclaimed.

"You're Scarlet Bridget?" One of the triplets gaped, sitting side-by-side and she remembered Everest rambling about how jarring their voices were. "I've never met a Bridget before."

"Eve talks so much about you, Scarlet this, Scarlet that!" one of them started, and the three of them talked in unison. "Blah blah blah, my ears hurt."

"What brings you here?" The last one and the most handsome out of the lot cheered excitedly, clutching onto his fork and knife as a piece of steak lay before him.

"Can you shut up?" Everest turned to glare at her brothers. "She doesn't like loud noises." Everest held Scarlet's hand in comfort, brows pinching together in concern at her silent state. This was not a look of shock, it was a look of deflation.

"Will someone tell me what's going on here? How did she just pop up from a fireplace like bloody Santa Claus?" Mrs Chasseur exclaimed again. "Was that the aim, then? You were trying to be Santa Claus—"

"I used the Floo Network," Scarlet explained shortly, voice quieter than she intended. "To travel here." 

"I'm sorry, Scarlet—" Mrs Chasseur stumbled over her words, shaking her head in confusion. "Forgive me for such a terrible first impression but I have no idea what a Poo Network is." Scarlet seemed to look even more confused than the woman.

"It's a Floo Network," Everest sighed, eyes dropping to the ground in utter humiliation as soon as she felt Scarlet's gaze on her. "Will you guys give the two of us a moment?"

"Yeah, of course, meanwhile, I'll tell your dearest mother about yet another wizardly thing." Mr Chasseur shot a grin at his wife who still stood in astonishment and terror.

      Everest anxiously placed a hand on a shaking Scarlet's back and led her away from the dining place to a corner of the house where her bedroom was. Scarlet entered and slyly looked around the congested place. Everest owned a lot of things, and most had practically no use. It was a small bedroom with multiple pieces of furniture that looked old.

"Look, Scar—"

"I'm really not in the mood for any more secrets, Eve, please tell me the truth." Scarlet spoke in an eerily calm manner. Her tone almost made Everest finch, the utterly defeated voice that Scarlet Bridget would never dare to use. "I'm confused enough as it is — there's no way a witch doesn't know about a Floo Network. Was that... that was your mother, right?"

"Scarlet, I'm really sorry," Everest went to touch her again, placing her hands on her elbow and sitting her down by the side of the bed. "I'm sorry."

"Why was she—I'm not understanding." Scarlet shook her head. "You constantly talked about your mother being a witch."

"My mother is a Muggle." She blurted out quickly and squeezed her eyes shut immediately, not wanting to bear the look of betrayal and disgust on Scarlet's face. Not because she thought her best friend would be prejudiced against her, it was because she knew if there was anything Scarlet hated, it was liars.

"I'm sorry too," her words almost stopped time itself. Everest's eyes shot open, her emerald melting into the solemn look in Scarlet's blue. No disgust, no judgment. "I'm sorry you felt the need to hide that from me."

"No, no, S, it's not your fault," she softly whispered, brows pinched together with a frown on her lips. "It's mine, I was too much of a coward, so I lied to you when we first met. I didn't know how to tell you the truth afterward."

"I was a different person when I was a child, Eve," with an ashamed look, she looked down towards their clasped hands. "But I guess whatever happened, it is for the best."

      Scarlet would most likely stop being friends with her if she found out about her lies back in the first year. She would have lost her; she simply could not live a life where she did not have Everest Chasseur by her side. That should be enough proof that she had changed—that burning hatred and cruelty were not present in her soul anymore. She had overcome those; apparently, it had all been a lie. It turns out she was lying to herself about becoming better.

"You're still my best friend," Scarlet assured with a pointed look and Everest let out a chuckle in relief.

"I was so scared, I thought you'd—I thought I'd lose you," she spoke with sudden sorrow, voice quivering in a way it never did. Scarlet started to understand it once in a while. The war was really destroying everyone from within even though no one would admit to it aloud. The threats and attacks, people were afraid. People were losing.

"That's never possible, I think I would've been friends with you in every life," she grinned.

"How poetic, Scarlet," she let out a laugh, shaking her head. "No more secrets."

Scarlet stiffened lightly, "Actually..."

Everest gave her a look encouraging her to tell her the reason behind why she looks so deflated.

"You were right." She shrugged. "Years ago, when you told me that Black has a way of getting what he wants—"

"That was a long time ago," Everest squinted her eyes, her opinions and his behaviour changed a lot over time. "What has that boy of yours done this time?"

"You don't have to call him that," She lightly chuckled humorlessly, her voice cracking the slightest. "It's all over, you can yell at me all you want for being so terribly stupid... I didn't even notice he was—"

"Nonsense," The girl scoffed. "You two were just fine a while ago."

Scarlet bit her lips, eyes glossed still. She averted her gaze from her heeled shoes to her friend. "He doesn't love me, Eve." She choked out.

Everest looked at the blonde girl as though she had grown two heads. "Honey, he clearly has feelings for you."

"He doesn't! Why does everyone say that?" She scoffs.

The brunette sighed lightly, shaking her head in disappointment. "Scarlet... it's the actions that count more than any words," She softly says. "He could utter awful things about you but eyes never lie, and I see the way Black looks at you... it's almost like..."

      "He's afraid to look away."

Scarlet sat back in silence, allowing her friend to talk.

"Like he's shocked that out of everyone in the room, you chose to look at him." The brunette girl smiled lightly, giving the blonde a solemn look. "Sirius was raised in a cruel family, he grew up with a lack of affection and love, yet he trusts you more than anything... you used to be just like that given the environment you were raised in—and even I couldn't pull you out of it. You had a cold facade until..."

"Until what?"

Everest took a short pause. "Until he came along."

Scarlet was fiddling with her fingers—knowing her best friend was correct. She just wouldn't admit to such a thing.

"You think I didn't notice the sort of awkward look you'd give Lily every time Severus would bring her along, those wide-eyed look you'd share with Narcissa every time they would show up... it wasn't hateful but it was not kind either. It's precisely the reason why I didn't tell you about my mum but you both are different now, you and Black."

      Scarlet felt utterly guilty about the thoughts she would have back when Severus would bring Lily along to hang out together. It was awkward and odd and she was not compteous about it. However, it changed. Lily is one of her favourite girls now. None of it mattered anymore, all the pureblood mania and the things she was taught.

"You don't know what he said." Bridget muttered.

"He loves you," Everest stated, confirming. 

"You cannot assume that—! He–he really hates me, Eve. You cannot be so casually cruel to the person you love."

Everest paused for a little while, running her eyes over the blonde's state, body language, and expressions. "What did he do, Scars?"

"It's what he said... Eve," she softly started, "he thinks I'm a mad woman."

      Everest's heart broke the moment Scarlet's voice cracked in the middle of the sentence. It hit her like a shotgun shot in the dark right then, it was the first time she had seen Scarlet Bridget cry. Shedding tears. And the reason behind it was no other than the man Everest swore was Scarlet's soulmate.

"You're not mad, Scarlet." Everest was lost for words.

"He thinks I'm pathetic, and selfish, that I only hurt people," Scarlet's throat closed up, and her voice dropped even lower, "he—he never loved me and I can't figure out why... I tried so hard, Eve, I tried and tried—"

      Everest was overwhelmed. She has seen and known Scarlet ever since the first day of Hogwarts. Even after all this time, seeing Scarlet pour her heart out took her by surprise. She only realised then that she never really saw the girl full. A part of her always stayed hidden underneath that icy-facade put on that stone-cold face. This was the first time she was not seeing half of her, rather all of her.

"Am I so hard to love?" Her quiet whisper would have vanished into thin air if Eve had not paid so much attention. "What's so intolerable about me that he can't even think about wanting me—?"

"Scarlet, your trying is always enough," she assured, "You haven't done anything wrong to him, you—"

"I did. I—I was about to hex him, you know why? Just to shut him up," she spoke in disbelief, angry with herself as she ran a hand through her hair, tugging at it slightly. "I can't even control myself. I thought I was improving—I thought I was getting better."

      She was sobbing, hands clutching onto her friend's so tightly, Everest thought her bones might break. Mascara ran under her eyes as her eyelashes clumped together. Crimson lips pressed together.

      She was hurting. She was hurting so much.

      And Everest hoped more than anything else that her pain would be eased. for a moment, the brunette thought that if she could steal all her pain and feel the wrath herself, she would. 

"But I'm not better. That's the worst part of it, that he's right." 

Scarlet felt a comforting pair of arms wrapping around her, bringing her closer than physically possible. For a moment, she thought her heartstrings might be attached to hers. Everest was her twin flame, and the solace she brought to her with an action as simple as a single hug sent her over the moon. Her black tears stained Everest's light-blue robes. She cried in the crook of her neck, feeling Eve's finger run through her straight locks.

"He must hate me so much to say those things." The blonde muttered against her shoulder.

"It's okay, it's going to be okay," Everest cooed softly, "You're not insane, you're not. You're perfect, S, I'm here for you, okay?"

Scarlet thought he could fall asleep at the sweet words, the reassuring tone of Everest.

Everest pulled away softly and held her face, "When we go back, you better face him with all your strength, it's going to be hard."

"Because I might lash out and truly hex him this time?" She asked matter-of-factly and Everest shook her head with a scoff.

"No!"

Scarlet blinked blankly. "What makes you say so, then?"

"Because one way or the other, this sort of feeling always makes its way to the surface no matter how much you try hiding it behind all that anger," Everest said.

"What sort of feelings?"

Eve smiled slightly. "The feeling of love."

After a moment of dead silence, she blurted out a small chuckle. "You'd know all about it, wouldn't you? With that girlfriend—"

"Shut up, shut up," Everest clapped a hand over her mouth, shutting her up as Scarlet continued to mumble against her palm, suppressing a giggle. The sight of her made Eve blurt out a peak of giggles too. "Now, come on, let's introduce you to my family properly."

When Scarlet and Everest made their way to the dining room, the Chasseur family fell silent, all staring and gaping at the two girls quietly.

With a light cough, Everest pointed. "Yo, guys!"

Scarlet shot her a peculiar look at her choice of words, watching Everest squirm in awkwardness. She pursed her lips and pointed an index to her best friend. "Family, meet Scarlet, my best friend in the entire bloody world... Scarlet, this is my family." What a lovely introduction.

"I'm—"

"Ernest."

"Ezra!"

"Everett!"

The triplets spoke in unison and all Scarlet heard was 'Elvis' for some reason.

"Hello," Scarlet nervously waved her hand, and it was by far the worst greeting she had ever induced. Merlin, she greeted Voldemort better. "It's a... pleasure to meet you all."

The parents were silent.

Sharing a look, they turned back at the two girls standing there anxiously, equally confused and unable to do something.

"Well, welcome to our family!" Eve's mother cheered gleefully with a bright smile, standing up and engulfing her in a hug. "Eve says you look out for her all the time, she won't shut up about you."

Everest sighed out of relief at her mother acting normal.

Scarlet smiled as the woman pulled away. "Have you eaten? Sit, sit."

"We're so glad you came," Mr Chasseur grinned brightly, gesturing for both of them to take seats opposite of the brothers. "My apologies, the boys have eaten everything. If only you told us sooner you'd drop by."

"My brothers are monsters." Everest remarks just as Ernest picks up a cherry and throws it at his sister's head, and the girl strikes back, squeezing the red fruit against his forehead. 

"This all looks delicious, Mr Chasseur." Scarlet turned to Everest's mother, "I'm sorry to barge in with no warning, and for scaring you."

Mrs Chasseur dismissed it with a wave of her hand, "No worries, love, and please, call me Aster."

"Wait till you taste my mother's gravy, you'll be sent to the moon." Everest cheekily told Scarlet.

"Why are you all having dinner so late?" Scarlet asked, picking up a fork.

"This is our third round," the triplets spoke in unison and laughed at Scarlet's wide eyes. 

Mr Chasseur chimed in, "Let me tell you something, when our Eve was assigned the same dorm as you, she wrote us a thousand letters—Scarlet this, Scarlet that, next thing you know, you're practically sisters." Mr Chasseur was quite animated when he spoke, forks hanging in the air as he waved them and pointed his knife in intense pauses, and facial expressions almost comical due to how theoretical they looked.

      For a moment after a long time, Scarlet relaxed. And all the worries lifted for a mere hour from her shoulders. Scarlet noticed how much of the conversation was merely about all the stories Everest told her large family about her time with Scarlet at Hogwarts—and it melted her heart inconsiderably. Scarlet never mentions any of her friends to her mother, and for a moment, she longed for a large, talkative, and excited family.

      Then, a flicker of realisation dusked upon her. With the exception of her mother, Scarlet had found a family of her choice that was not her blood. A family in figures of her friends at Hogwarts—Evan, Barty, Regulus, Dorcas. 

      Of course, Everest was the most important soul in her life. She tried to imagine a life without Eve, she couldn't. There was nothing—void and hollow, just a pit of black. They were her family that she cherished dearly. 

      Dorcas with her Quidditch talk and party-planning and House-pride, Barty with his extravagant stories of travel with his family, quiet and disciplined Regulus who shared all his feelings about his responsibilities and concerns with her, and Rosier... 

      Yes, he had a Dark Mark stabbed into his arm but it was also Evan with whom she shared so much in common, who respected her and appreciated her. The ones whose first thought about her was not how to change her and rather how to accept whatever the pile of fucked-up bones she had been and love her anyway. They loved her.

      In her thoughts about Evan and Regulus and the others, she dwelled on the idea that perhaps she had been on the wrong side of this all along.

      It was a realisation that haunted her to the end of time—the wondering idea that the one person she wanted acceptance from never gave it to her. Just thinking about it... just thinking about the idea of one person she considered to be as bright as the constellations possessing such hatred... 

      Something else clicked—what, she did not know—and everything switched off. It felt as though the world spun faster and all the stars aligned, and Scarlet's clever mind designed and laid down the groundwork for a devilish plan that even the lords of fate could not take away. 

      And it was going to be the downfall and the ultimate demise of everything.

𝑪𝑨𝑹𝑨 𝑺𝑷𝑬𝑨𝑲𝑺

guys u have no idea how
much i love everest.

and... next chapter may 
play as a shock so 
BEAWARE!!!!

enjoy 6.5k+ words
i got carried away