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#NY01 Chapter 01

"This is a nice place, Kels," Sean said. He was watching Sammie as she sat on the couch, reading one of books that she bought with her. She used to be very... playful with the other kids. One day, she just stopped playing and insisted that she's fine with her toys and books. I wanted to ask her more, but she's the kind of kid who'd just shut you out if you insisted.

I was just waiting for her to confide to me.

"The security here is strict, so I'd inform them that you can visit us anytime," I said.

This co-parenting was hard. If I were to decide on my own, I'd rather raise Sammie alone. I could do that. I have a great job and a supportive family. But I knew that that would be unfair to her. Sean has been nothing but a wonderful father to her, and it would be unfair if I'd just shut him out of our lives because of something that was out of our control.

He didn't want what happened.

I didn't want what happened.

But it's here.

And we should just deal with it the best way we could.

Sean nodded. "Sammie said that there's a family day—"

"Do you want to come?" I asked.

I didn't tell him about it. I was still undecided. It was one thing to co-parent Sammie, but it's a whole other thing when we appear in public places. I hated how they all stare at us like we're some kind of spectacle...

I never liked being in the spotlight.

But ever since I got involved with Sean, it's like all eyes are constantly on me and I hated every second of it.

"I mean... if it's okay with you?" he asked.

I wasn't able to respond.

"If you don't want—" Sean said, but he stopped when he saw me smile. Sammie looked at us. I didn't know if she fully understood the situation yet. Maybe she was confused. I knew damn well that my parents were still hoping that Sean and I would be back together.

But I was sure that wouldn't happen again.

I just... don't want that kind of drama.

I liked things simple.

I wasn't built for that kind of thing.

"It's on Sunday, 10am. Let's just meet at the school," I replied, and then I walked towards my daughter.

* * *

The interior designer told me that she still needed at least 2 months to get everything done. My parents spoiled Sammie, so I wanted her new room in our new place to be as good as her room here at my parents' place.

I didn't want her to tell me that she wanted to go back here. This was supposed to be a temporary fix. We couldn't live there forever.

"Aww, my baby is so pretty," Mom said when she saw Sammie. She was wearing a white skirt and the polo-shirt of the school. She was also wearing the shoes Sean gave her the last time.

"Thank you, lola," Sammie replied, hugging and kissing her lola. No wonder why she got them both wrapped around her fingers. So bolera.

My parents couldn't go to the event because they needed to attend to something, so instead, they asked Sammie to perform the song and dance number for them. She danced and sang and my mom recorded everything. Dad was the first one to clap when the mini performance ended.

I love how they love her. I was thankful, really, for everything.

"Let's go," I said after she finished performing. Mom reminded me to record the performance. I already told her yes, but she just needed to remind me again.

"Is daddy already there?" Sammie asked.

"I don't know."

"Will you text him, Mommy?"

I sighed and dialed Sean's number.

"Daddy!" Sammie shouted when Sean answered the call. "Where are you?"

Sean laughed. "On my way," he replied. "Where are you and mommy?"

"She's driving," Sammie replied. "Will lola come?"

"Of course," Sean replied.

God...

I love Tita Shirley. She's been really nice to me. But ever since Isobel decided to leave, she's been so persistent to get Sean and I back together. They're all so persistent. They couldn't understand the word no.

So, I tried to avoid her whenever possible.

I already have my own parents rooting for Sean—I couldn't handle any more than that.

When we arrived at the school, I was suddenly glad that Sean would come. It was family day. I saw most of her classmates with their parents. I knew that Sammie and I, we're family... but she's still a child. She didn't know how complicated things are.

She still needed to be a child for as long as she could.

One day, she'd fully realize the situation, but for now, she just needed her parents to be here with her during family day.

So, I should just suck it up.

Just for today, at least.

"Do you wanna go inside?" I asked her.

"Can we wait for daddy?" she asked, looking at me with those puppy eyes.

"Fine..." I said, sighing.

She grinned. "Thank you, mommy!" she replied. We sat on one of the benches while we were waiting for Sean. While killing time, Sammie read her book and I checked e-mails.

"Kelsey."

I looked up and saw Ramona, one of the mothers here in school. I never really liked her... She's been so... condescending. I never understood why. I barely talked to her.

"Hi," I replied, smiling. I still needed to be on my best behavior. She's, after all, still a member of the administration of this school. I just didn't want to be on her bad side, for Sammie's sake.

"Just you? Hindi ba pupunta si Sean?" she asked.

Sammie's eyes immediately shot up upon hearing the mention of her dad. "Daddy will come," she replied, almost defensively.

Ramona smiled. "Of course, he will," she replied condescendingly, tousling the hair of Sammie. She quickly frowned, and fixed her hair that her lola fixed for her.

"Daddy!" Sammie shouted when she saw Sean walking past the gate. She shouted and ran towards her dad.

"Ang excited... Minsan lang kasi makita, no?" Ramona said, smiling at me. I just smiled back. What did she know? She knew nothing aside from the gossips. I didn't owe her any explanation.

"If you'll excuse me," I said, walking away because I had no time for people like her. If she didn't like me for whatever reason, fine. But why did she spend so much time hating on me? I didn't even care about her. She could die and I wouldn't even bother to send flowers.

"Where's lola?" Sammie asked.

"She's on the phone, but she'll be here soon," Sean replied.

I quietly walked beside them, never mind some of the eyes on us. This was only for a few hours. After this, I'd be back to minding my own business away from all the judging eyes of people who didn't know any better.

Since it's family day, the family were supposed to sit together.

This was... unfair.

Not just for us, but for the other kids with parents who are separated. We're just lucky because Sean and I still managed to co-parent for Sammie's sake. But what about the other kids? What about them? What would they feel looking around and seeing all the other kids with their complete family?

It's insensitive.

There was a vacant chair between Sean and me. That was supposed to be for Tita Shirley.

"See? They can't even sit together..." I heard someone say.

"I heard ha... That she wanted to get back together, but he's still in love with that ex-wife of his who got pregnant with somebody else's child... So tragic..."

I briefly closed my eyes as I took a deep breath.

I calmed myself down.

I really tried.

"Kels—" Sean said.

I shook my head. "I'm okay. I'll just go find the restroom," I replied, standing up because hearing things like that still got to me. I hated how they think they know everything and how they think they have a say on our lives—on my life.

I hated how they think I was the one to pity.

That I was the one who got left behind.

I didn't get left behind—I left.

Because I deserve better than what Sean could ever give me.

God, I hated this!

"Oh, god, I'm sorry!" I said when I accidentally bumped into someone. I just got out of the restroom.

"No, it's okay," he replied.

I kneeled and helped him as he picked up the cutouts which were scattered on the floor. "I'm sorry," I repeated. "I didn't see you coming."

I glanced at him and saw that he was already looking at me. I blinked.

"Elias," he said.

"What?" I asked, my forehead creased.

"I mean... 'yun 'yung pangalan ko."

I blinked again. "Right... Teacher Eli, right?"

He smiled. "Teacher Eli... Right," he said, just repeating the words I said.

"You're Sammie's teacher, right?" I asked. I saw him that one time when I got called because my daughter punched someone. She still hated me because I ground her for a week—and by ground, she wasn't allowed to read any books and no dessert after dinner... but I knew Mom still snuck inside her room and gave her dessert when I wasn't looking.

"Thank you," he said when we finished picking the papers up.

"Do you need help?" I asked.

He blinked. "H-ha?"

"You look like you need help," I replied. He was carrying papers and cutouts. He looked like he was in a rush before I bumped into him.

"Magsisimula na 'yung program," he said.

"Sammie's still the last to perform," I replied. I just really didn't want to go back there and listen to people give unsolicited comments about my life.

"Maggugupit lang—"

"I can do that," I said. His face reddened again. My forehead creased. "Are you okay?"

He cleared his throat. "Okay lang ako," he replied. "Ah... dito na lang sa bakanteng classroom. Pero kailangan nating bilisan kasi kailangan 'to don sa presentation nung isang section," he continued.

We got inside this empty classroom. He gave me a paper and a pair of scissors and instructed me on what I'd do.

"Isn't this so last minute?" I asked.

"Meron na akong nagawa, kaya lang natapunan ng tubig nung isang teacher," he replied.

"Why are you the one doing this, then?"

"Bakit hindi ako?"

"Because it's not your fault?"

"Hindi rin naman niya sinasadya," he replied. "Besides, mas madaling maggupit kaysa makipagtalo kung sino ang may kasalanan," he continued while he was still cutting the pattern on the paper.

"How do you know that hindi sinasadya?" I asked, but he chuckled. "Why did you chuckle?"

He looked at me as he paused cutting. "Wala... Ang weird lang pala kasi marinig ka magsalita ng Tagalog."

My lips parted. "I can speak Tagalog," I said, defending myself. "I'm just more comfortable with English."

I grew up with my parents talking to me in English. I was only allowed to watch English shows and movies. I was enrolled in an English-only school. Even in college, most of my friends speak in English only. It was only in med school that I got to practice my Tagalog. My Tagalog wasn't perfect, but I was sure that people can understand me just fine.

"Wala naman akong sinabi..." he said, sounding defensive, too. "Na-weirduhan lang ako..."

"Why?" I asked. "This is only the second time we talked."

I looked at him, waiting for a reply, but he just smiled. I shrugged it off and continued to cut the papers.

"How's Sammie?" I asked.

"Okay naman," he replied. "Wala na siyang sinu-suntok."

I frowned. "That was one time. My daughter doesn't just randomly punch people."

He laughed. "I didn't say that. Tahimik naman siya ngayon. Nilipat ko siya ng upuan. Close na ata sila ni Elrese."

"Really?" I asked, excited to hear that Sammie's got a new friend. She barely talked about anyone in her class. Whenever she'd talk about school, it's mostly about what she learned or what she read—never about the other kids.

He nodded. "Pareho silang mahilig magbasa—"

"Kels." We stopped when we heard someone calling my name. I turned and saw Sean. He was looking at us. "Sammie's section is next," he said.

I looked at Eli and smiled. "Good luck with the cutouts," I said before I stood up and left with Sean. 

*** 

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