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#MY01 Chapter 01

"Third date niyo na, right? So... kamusta?" Niles asked, wiggling her brows in the process.

"Huh?" tanong ko habang mine-make-sure na perfect iyong makeup ko.

"I mean is he good?" she asked with a grin.

"Kapag ako nagtatanong sa sex life niyo ni Marcus, nagwo-walkout ka? Tapos kapal ng mukha mong magtanong ngayon?" I asked and she just rolled her eyes.

"Duh, hindi naman kasi talaga ako nagkukwento ng ganon. Ikaw naman 'yung laging nagshe-share nung ganon kahit hindi ako nagtatanong," she explained. "So? Kamusta?"

Hindi ako sumagot. I instead stared at the 3 lipsticks in front of me. Ano ba'ng shade ang maganda? Iyong alluring pero hindi masyado? Iyong sakto lang?

"So? Julienne? Ano na?"

"Secret."

"Incapable ka kaya sa pagtatago ng secret kapag ganon."

"Well, malay mo ba na changed person na siguro ako."

"In 3 weeks, changed person? Asa ka pa."

"Hater."

"Dali na kasi," she said, groaning. "Gusto ko ng chismis ngayon."

"Kulang pa ba ang ginagawa natin dito sa ospital at bored ka pa rin?"

"Ano na nga kasi? Daming sinasabi," she said. "3rd date niyo na so malamang sa malamang—"

"Walang nangyayari, okay?"

Her jaw dropped. I rolled my eyes. Ang OA!

"What?! For reals?!" she asked and I just nodded as I applied my nude lipstick. "What? Bakit? Paano? Huh?!"

"Gago ka ba? Feeling mo nakikipagsex ako sa lahat ng nakaka-date ko?" She nodded. My lips parted. "Gago."

She blinked her eyes in disbelief. "E lagi ka kasing nagkukwento!"

"Syempre ang sinasabi ko lang sa 'yo kapag okay iyong date—e hindi naman lahat ng date okay. Saka tingin mo sa 'kin tahong? Bubuka kapag nainitan?"

Agad na namula ang mukha niya. "Ano ba, Yanyan!"

I rolled my eyes. "Arte."

She cleared her throat. "Pero... seriously, what's happening?" she asked, sounding much more serious this time. "Nung huli kitang naka-usap talaga, nung birthday pa ni Nini. Bigla kang nagpakilala kay Levi. Tapos lagi kang busy. Tapos ngayon, ito? What's happening?"

Hindi agad ako sumagot sa kanya. I finished applying subtle highlighter on my face. Hindi ko na kailangan ng contour dahil grabe na ang jawline ko. Dahil talaga 'to sa hindi na ako nakaka-kain nang maayos na pagkain simula nang pumasok ako sa nursing. Puro stress! Dati napaka-linis kong tao... 'Di ko alam kung saang parte ng buhay ko ako nagsimulang mag-iba ng landas.

"Nothing's happening," sabi ko kay Niles. I looked at my reflection once again. Perfect. Sobrang subtle ng makeup lang. Nanood pa ako ng tutorial para sa no makeup makeup look na 'to.

"But?" she asked.

"But... I think kaya lagi akong na-da-dump before ay dahil na rin fault ko—"

"I told you it's better—"

"To wait for the perfect guy?" I asked, cutting her off. "He is the perfect guy, Niles. Seriously. Nung una, I thought he was just hot—but he's also smart and a very good conversationalist. I just really like him. And I thought that if I acted like how I acted in my past relationships, maybe I'd scare him away..."

Then I paused.

And smiled a little.

"You really like him..." Niles whispered in awe.

Tumango ako. "Yes. So... if that means that I get to keep some honest comments to myself, or that I should check my phone more often or that I should forget to mention some of my achievements? Then so be it."

I just... I really like the guy.

"What about him?" Niles asked.

"What?"

"What if magustuhan ka nga niya? But then hindi naman talaga ikaw 'yan?"

I shrugged.

I'd cross the bridge when I get there.

"Nasa labas na siya," I said when my phone vibrated. Kinuha ko iyong bag ko sa locker. I looked at my reflection once more. At least hindi halata na puyat ako, as usual.

I looked at Niles. "Wish me luck," I said, smiling as I began to walk.

Panay ang hinga ko nang malalim. I kept on reminding myself to watch my words dahil baka kung anong mean comment na naman ang masabi ko sa harap ni Levi. I just couldn't help it sometimes. I see death everyday—kaya as much as possible, ayoko talagang nagsisinungaling kasi what if last day ko na pala? Tapos kasinungalingan pa ang lumabas sa bibig ko?

Ugh.

Ang ironic.

My pace began to slow down when I saw Levi standing beside his black convertible. He was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, white Lacoste polo shirt, and white sneakers. Sobrang gandang tignan ng braso niya sa polo shirt. My God.

I stopped for a while to appreciate the view.

'Konting pagpapanggap pa, Yanyan,' I reminded myself. 'He'll eventually fall for you... And when he's finally in love, pwede mo nang unti-unting ipakilala kung sino ka talaga.'

Wala naman sigurong masama doon...

Ako pa rin naman 'to...

Malay ko ba kung deep inside me, ganoon talaga ako?

"Hi," I said as I approached him. He looked at me, and I saw the approval on his eyes. I was wearing a fitted black jeans, pastel yellow halter neck top, and matching yellow ballet flats. Hinayaan ko lang na naka-lugay iyong bagong Brazilian blowdry na shoulder length na buhok ko dahil wala akong time na mag-ayos pa ng buhok araw-araw.

"Hi," he replied, kissing me on the cheek. Tumalon yata iyong matres ko nang lumapit siya. Ang bango niya talaga. Napaka-hirap labanan ng tukso.

Sometimes, gusto ko na lang tigilan iyong pagpapaka-demure at itulak siya sa backseat ng sasakyan niya and to just... devour him! He's just so... edible.

Yup.

That's the word.

Hindi ko pa siya niyan nakikita sa pilot uniform niya. Ayoko rin. Kasi sure ako hindi na ako makakapagpigil talaga!

"Dinner and then last full show?" he asked. I just nodded and smiled. He showed me his phone. Iyon pala iyong tinitignan niya. For a second, akala ko ay may ka-text siyang flight attendant or something. "Here are the movies tonight," he continued, showing me the list of the movies.

I saw one horror movie na gusto kong panoorin. I like watching horror movies—mas kadiri, mas gusto ko. Kaya lang ay baka opposite siya sa demure image na pinapakita ko kay Levi.

"Kahit ano na lang," I said, smiling at him.

"Okay," he replied in his baritone voice.

God.

Help me tonight.

Levi, being the gentleman that he is, opened the door for me. Lagi niya iyong ginagawa. Ewan ko ba. Minsan hinihiling ko na sana ay bawasan niya naman ang pagiging gentleman dahil nahihirapan ako. Sana bastusan niya naman nang kaunti.

Ni hindi niya pa ako nahahalikan!

Kung pwede lang, ako na ang hahalik sa kanya, kaya lang ay iba iyon sa role na pino-portray ko. I needed to calm my horses. Be demure. Be the woman he'd want to bring home to introduce to his family—not the woman he'd bring home to fuck and then toss the next day. Nagawa mo na 'yan. Upgrade na ngayon.

Tama yan, Yanyan. Look at the bigger picture. Kalmahan mo lang. Pasasaan ba at mahahalikan mo rin 'yang piloto na 'yan.

Levi looked so good while he was driving... Maybe he'd look even better kapag ako na iyong—

'Yanyan, for the love of God!' I admonished myself.

"Are you okay?" Levi asked when I began to fan myself. Bigla akong nainitan sa imagination ko! I was just so frustrated! 3 dates na pero ni hindi niya pa ako hinahalikan. Tama naman si Niles—minsan nga first date pa lang naghohomerun na agad ako, e. But this was different. I should behave. Dapat si Levi ang magmisbehave!

"Y-yeah..." I said with an uneasy smile as I crossed my legs. God... Being in the same car as him was making me extremely horny. He looked so good. I wanted to have car sex with him. This was torture.

"Better?" he asked pagkatapos niyang babaan iyong temperature ng aircon. I just nodded and smiled kahit na alam ko naman kung ano talaga ang makaka-tulong sa akin. God. How easy it would be to just ask him to pull over and have a quickie here.

No, Yanyan.

Be demure.

Pangmatagalan dapat 'to.

We went to Greenbelt and headed straight to a restaurant. Napapa-irap na lang ako sa isip ko kapag may napapa-tingin na mga babae sa kanya. Ang gwapo kasi talaga! And it frustrated me more na iyang gwapo na 'yan ay hindi ko pa rin nahahalikan!

Such torture!

"Are you ready to order?" the waiter asked.

Levi began to order. Ni hindi siya tumingin doon sa menu. He said those hard to pronounce names of food with such ease. My panties twisted a little when he said a French word. Agad akong napa-abot ng tubig dahil sa uhaw ko sa kanya.

"How about you, Ma'am?" tanong sa akin nung lalaki.

"Salad and a glass of Sauvignon Blanc," I replied with a small smile.

"You sure? Just salad?" tanong sa akin ni Levi.

I nodded. "I'm not really hungry," sagot ko. Kumain ako ng malaking burger kanina sa duty. Ayoko kasing pumunta sa date namin ng gutom dahil baka kung ano ma-order ko.

"We can share the steak if you change your mind," Levi said with a grin.

I laughed. "I'll probably take you up on your offer," I replied with a smile still fixed on my face. God... The way he was smiling at me, gusto ko na lang siyang hatakin sa CR and do things to him. I crossed my legs once more, and called the waiter to refill the water. Good God!

"Levi?" Sabay kaming napa-tingin sa pinanggalingan ng boses. There was a guy standing before us. "You've been dodging our—" he said and then stopped when he saw me. "Oh. You're on a date."

Levi nodded, and looked at me. I smiled at him. "Dino, Julienne," he said. "Julienne, Dino, a family friend."

I smiled at Dino and greeted him. This was a good sign, right? At least pinakilala niya ako... Wala nga lang description. Ano nga ba kasi ako? Kahit naman ako hindi ko alam!

"Nice," Dino commented. "Turned a new leaf, I see."

"Dino," Levi said with a small glare on his face.

Tumawa iyong lalaki. Dino raised both his hands as if he's defeated. "Fine, fine," he said, backing away a little. "Just thought I'd say hi. I'm on a business dinner, so I'll leave you two be," he continued, and looked at me and smiled. "Nice to meet you—"

"Julienne," I said.

"Julienne," he repeated. "Keep a tight leash around him," sabi niya sabay kindat. I laughed a little, and when I returned my attention to Levi, he was frowning a little.

"He seems nice," I commented.

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"What? He's fine," sagot ko.

The waiter brought our food. Agad na kinuha ni Levi iyong wine niya at ininom iyon. It seemed like seeing his friend stressed him out.

"Are you okay?" I asked because he already finished the glass. Usually naman ay hindi nauubos ni Levi iyong wine dahil ayaw niyang umiinom talaga kapag nagde-date kami dahil nagda-drive siya.

"Yeah," he said in a clipped tone.

I nodded... but I really wanted to ask more. Kaya lang ay baka makulitan siya sa akin. Baka isipin niya masyado akong matanong. Baka isipin niya pakielamera ako.

So, I just smiled.

And finished my sad dinner.

* * *

I barely could even remember the movie we watched. I was so worried dahil parang may kakaiba kay Levi. Tsk! All this hard work tapos nasira lang dahil sa pagdating ng kaibigan niya. Ano ba'ng meron doon? Curiosity was killing me!

"Thanks for tonight," I said when he pulled over in front of my condo. I unbuckled my seatbelt, and was about to open the door, when I heard him call my name. I looked at him. My eyes were questioning.

"I'm sorry," he said in a conflicted tone.

"Huh? For what?" I asked kahit na kanina pa rin ako curious. Tsk! Ang hirap magpaka-demure!

"I was just..." he said. He paused a little, and then looked at me with those freaking hypnotizing eyes of his. "Worried when we saw Dino."

"Why?" I asked, careful not to sound too curious. Chill lang dapat.

"I thought he'd tell you why he was so surprised to see me on a date."

I pursed my lips, and just stared at him. I saw him combing his hair through his fingers. And then I saw his motherfucking Adam's apple move. Oh, that shit's unfair. He's too sexy. I needed to leave this fucking confined space.

"I had a reputation," he said, now looking me in the eye. I just stared back. I knew he had a reputation—sinabi naman na sa akin ni Niles nang una ko pa lang siyang makita.

I didn't care, though.

I had a reputation, too.

Everyone has a reputation.

"I really didn't want to commit," he continued. "I was really focused on my work and I'm almost always out of the country, so it didn't make sense to maintain a relationship."

I nodded. "What changed?" I asked, staring right back at him. But maybe that was a freaking wrong idea dahil nang tumitig siya sa akin ay parang gusto ko na lang talaga siyang itulak sa backseat and to do bad things with him.

"You," he said, cupping my cheek and caressing it with his thumb. "You unexpectedly came, and changed the game," he continued before he leaned in and finally kissed me. 

***

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