She had turned him down...

He wouldn't tell her what he wanted so she turn back inside the room and lie down on the bed but she couldn't sleep nor keep her mind well rested. She tossed and turned on the bed for a whole hour thinking why she'd told him to leave she is going to sleep. In her defense, the man looked extremely confused as to why he was there. She wanted him to know what he wants but seems like it was going to take forever to get that out of him.

Jannah threw the duvet cover away from her body and stood up. She slipped her feet into the fluffy white Prada slippers she's brought with her and went to the mirror. Sleeping in Adnan's room was so much better than hers and it's been four days already. She is never going to sleep in any other room if not this. Even if they are going to fight, he will either sleep on the couch or leave the room. She's possessed the ownership back to her name.

She is only wearing a tan sweater with nothing underneath. That is how she sleeps now. She doesn't have clothes of her own, she was supposed to go get them the next day but being the lazy ass she was, she hadn't gone back to the villa. Jannah refused to get some clothes then because Aisha would've known where she was headed to and together they'll all stop her. She messaged them the day she came and lied that Adnan wouldn't let her go. Not that he would.

Before Jannah had consciously made the decision, she was at the door of the guest suite. With fingers that trembled just a little, she turned the knob and entered the small antechamber that led to the bedroom. As in the master suite, a small fire on the grate spread ruddy flickering light over the room and made shadows dance in the corner. Just that this fireplace is not as modern as the one in the master's suite.

And on the bed... what she beheld caused her to stop in her tracks, flustered, her heart pounding hard and heavy in her chest. Adnan was stretched out on the guest bed, one foot dangling over the edge, one knee propped up slightly. He held a book in his hand, reading with a slight frown on his forehead and a moody set to his mouth. There was only a stitch of clothing in sight and that was his Ralph Lauren jade boxers.

The firelight turned his skin a light shade of amber and scattered gold flecks throughout his black hair. Every detail of his long, muscled body was visible, from the triangular hollow at the base of his throat, to the dusting of dark wiry hair on his legs. Amid a riot of excitement and confusion, Jannah wondered why it was that he seemed so much larger with his clothes off than on. She had never seen such a startling expanse of naked skin.

Whenever they make love, he strips while she was on the bed flustered and wanton to notice such detail.

Jannah knew she must have made some small sound, for his narrowed gaze switched to her, and automatically he covered his lap with the open book. The defensive gesture struck her as amusing, and his forbidding scowl only heightened the comic effect. Clamping her lips together, she repressed a sudden laugh and ventured farther into the room with an exaggerated emphasis on her hips.

"You shouldn't read in such bad light." She said, her throaty voice cracking just a little. She was more nervous than she had realized. "You'll strain your eyes."

Adnan adjusted himself on the bed by sitting up, he didn't expect her in the room. He wasn't even reading, just staring at the book as the words jumbled together. Why is she here? To tease him or mock him some more? For he's been thinking about going back in there and force her to listen to him and his confessions.

"I'll keep that in mind." He placed the book beside him on the bedside table, draw the covers over his body.

Jannah sauntered to the bed and sat down in the middle of it after she's crawled all the way there. The bed was so large. Did he change it? That is something Adnan could do, she won't put it pass him. She's been in the room, to clean it after about a month or two. Not anymore.

The vibrant force of his personality struck her anew. He looked large, dangerous, and even a bit irate. However, as Jannah stared into his smoldering espresso eyes, she felt no fear, only an instinctive desire to kiss his hard mouth and make it soften against her own. That will not do now, she is here because they needed to talk not because she is concupiscent. Well... she is.

"Can we talk now or you still don't know what-" Jannah was cut off by his narrowed eyes, she smothered a smile. Of course she was doing this to get beneath his skin.

Adnan bit one side of his lower lip before saying. "I've always known what I wanted but you were hellbent on making me work for it."

Jannah feigned horrified. "Me? How could you? I gave you time to make up your mind but you decided to go missing in action. After all I've endured, you want me to crawl back into your arms? That's unfair, Dracs."

"Not crawl per se." He started then kept quiet. Where should he begin from? He's never had this sort of confusion. He knows what he wants but why is he intimidated by her eyes today?

Jannah perceived that and decided to throw in first. "Dracs, I never lost my memory. It was all a charade to get closer to you and have my way with you. I thought I was doing it for Imara but later realized it was all for me. I couldn't handle so much silence from you. I am your wife but I can count with one hand how many times I've seen you in three years. You think it was easy? God, I was on the verge of going crazy for attention. I was not after love, I stopped believing in it after..."

"After Bakri. I know about it." Adnan filled up the rest of the her sentence when she kept quiet.

Jannah wasn't exactly galvanized that he knew about it. Why else would he have beaten Muhammad Bakri up so bad? Ammar told her everything that happened and when she asked about his wife Nadia, he told her that she won't ever bother them again. Adnan had dealt with her too the way it should be done. He wouldn't tell her what happened to her only reassured her that she won't be a threat anymore to their lives. She doesn't want to know.

The woman wanted her husband! Though she's trusted Adnan to not even acknowledge her naked.

She continued, her smile watery. "Along the way, I fell in love with you. I won't say it was love at first sight because I was dead afraid of you those days." She feigned a shudder. "I mean, you were so emotionless and stern that I thought you were just like my parents. I got tired of Imara asking when you will be coming back and thought I should fabricate memory loss so I can act like I knew nothing from our past. Your mother and Dr. Abdussalam helped me then."

Jannah took a deep breath, not looking into Adnan's eyes because she is intent on getting the words out no matter what. "You were not easy to love, don't get me started but I fell anyway. And scratched my arms, elbows, knees, legs, eyes, scraped my fine teeth, my precious tongue and even my heart was brutally smashed along with my wrecked fragile ego. It was not easy at all. But you made me feel safe, I don't know how but you did. I really wanted to leave you but realized that you care about me even if you won't say it yourself.

"You're in my head even when you're not supposed to be. It shouldn't be hard letting you go but I couldn't. Stupid. I wanted to, seriously. Or are you going to make me regret staying back?" Her anthracite eyes pierced his very soul when she rose her head.

"I screwed up, all right. But I never once lied to you. I've been through so much but having you in my life is different. I won't make you regret it, I swear." He pledged, his words thick, throat repleted with dead weight slaver.

Hang it all, now he was begging, doglike, for scraps of reassurance. He couldn't believe the power she had over him. This was what he'd been afraid of since the beginning. He felt too much, all at the same time-it was all the colors mixed together, vivid and kaleidoscopic. It was madness. Derangement he was willing to take part in ingeniously. With heart, soul, mind, brain and body all poured in.

Jannah couldn't smother a large grin, she beamed. "I'm not sure I like this new part of you. It is... nauseating."

"I know. I don't know how it works either." He looks chided. "I want you to stay. I really do. I thought staying away from you was going to help but it did nothing but invigorate my longing. I can't live without you now. I-I I-I need you."

"Nah, you want to say you love me, so say it. I cannot wait to hear those words from you." Jannah curled her hands into two tiny fists and positioned them below her chin. Coupled with her fulgent eyes, she looks like an adorable bairn.

Adnan made a face. He loves her? That is it? All the complications? The increasing heartbeat that might lead to cardiac arrest one of these days? Pumping of blood that makes hearing hard in the person's presence? The feelings merging together and causing heartache result to one word? Love? This is real delirium indeed. What he feels cannot be grouped into one word, he won't accept that. But to make her feel better and not diminish that effulgence, he might as well accept that.

"Well... I love you?" Adnan had to bit his tongue at the way the words rolled. He's said them to his daughter countless times but saying them to Jannah feels different.

Jannah pouted, her eyes glaring at him. "That sounds like a question. You better make it sound romantic or I disappear from this room."

Instead of answering her, his hands shoot up and yank her down on the bed where she lie flat on her back. His face was over hers the next second, a slant of light from the bay window catching the dark espresso color of his eyes, making it gleam devilishly. She was utterly fascinated by the cool, disciplined façade overlying something withheld... deeply remote... tantalizing and toe-curling.

His forefinger tucked a strand of hair that left the high ponytail sheafed together at the top of her head, behind her ear watching her frisson. "Mama, you are all in to see me squirming, aren't you? You're enjoying this more than you should." He murmured in a deep voice that rumbled from his chest.

Jannah quelled a smile from brewing. "No. I just want to hear those words from you."

"Why?"

"I want to become addicted to them because you are going to keep saying them for the rest of our lives. Now, come on." She pursed her lips to the side inhaling him discreetly. He smells incredibly alluring.

He took his time, eyes browsing all over her face. "I love you. Mama."

Jannah felt her heart literally tumbling out from her throat. She was alert to every subtle color of his mood, reached for him without hesitation. Grasping the bulk of his shoulders she'd just smoothed, she pulled him close and kissed him, soothing the rough edges of his anxiety. He kissed her deeply, taking as much as he could, while the sweet fervor of her response sent a fresh surge of arousal coursing through him. His flesh thickened, his lungs pumping with wild and uneven force. The self-control he'd always prided himself on had been reduced to smoldering rubble.

Before he could go on, Jannah pulled her lips away from his and seductively licked them from one edge to the other. His already smoldering dark eyes darkened some more if that were possible. But Jannah won't allow him to make love to her until they finish talking about everything. It should end once and for all so they can put it behind them. This is just the first part.

"Why aren't you shocked? I told you I never lost my memory." She pushed him away slightly and sat up, her back supine against the diamond tufted velvet headboard behind her.

Adnan breathed out through his mouth and leaned away from her too. "I knew it was a facade right from the beginning." He gave her a smile, his eyes taking this enigmatic glint that didn't sit well with her. "I heard you talking with the maid the day you wanted to spend my money with your shopping spree. I confirmed it from Dr. Abdussalam."

Jannah sat up straighter hastily with wide eyes. "What?!" She groaned, sheathing her face away from him with both hands.

Adnan chortled whilst removing her tightly clasped hands from her face. "You weren't very convincing either. There were so many things the memory loss you didn't know from the first few years of our marriage but you often talk about them before you catch up. You played with my intelligence, Mama."

She only blushed, her eyes directed to her toes. "I shouldn't go for the audition Aisha advised me to go to then?"

"What audition?"

"Acting." She set her lips in a moue which Adnan traced with his thumb looking enthralled.

"You are not very good at it so my advise here is... don't go." He chortled deeply, everything about her is adorable and indomitable.

"Why didn't you tell me? I was being foolish all along." She feigned crying.

"It was fun watching you all worked up. Trying to make sure I don't see any glimpse of my wife."

"You are really heartless. Do you know that?" She questioned playing with his nails, so clean and cut out to the edge.

"Not anymore."

It was quiet for a while -the two of them staring at one another- before Jannah decided to break it. One last topic. "About what Jibril told me... between you and your father. Were you ever going to tell me about it?"

Adnan's entire face yawed taut, austere and acerbic. Oh, that is a sour spot for him till now. "No. I don't know. There is nothing to talk about. He's told you already."

Jannah took ahold of his shoulders again in her small dainty hands. "Look at me." He did. "You can tell me anything, everything and I won't judge you. That is what love does. It makes you comfortable. The burden should leave your shoulders, bring it onto mine too so we can share it. You know every single thing about me, I want to know you too. You've been hurt and you hate him, I want to hate him too."

His eyes searched over hers, satisfaction was influx within him through an invisible fistula with what he saw in there. "I was hurt, I don't want you to be hurt with what I say."

"I don't care."

He smiled, real smile that electrified her ovaries. "I was just seven when it started. My father... he was a good man to everyone, even me. I used to love him but he loved me a little too much. One evening, my mother was away with her sick younger sister when he started touching me in a weird way. Even when he... had sex with me, I didn't know what that was, only felt the pain. I was not allowed to tell my mother, he said he will ease the pain and he did. My mother never found out so he continued. I cannot recall but there were pauses in between each assault.

"It became less painful with time. He convinced me that it was all part of love. It was what people do when they love each other especially father and his children. When I grew older to know what he was doing was wrong, he started threatening to do the same to Ammar. Even forced me to listen to him doing it with... my mother. It was horrid but I didn't have any other option, I listened while crying. He made it frequent after the threats. Asking me to come with him to his shop and not go to school or go there straight from school.

"He used to have a local provision store for food, he will close the doors and have his way with me. By the time I reached fifteen, I was already working and started earning money. No one knows about that, I even dropped out of high school when I was in seniors secondary to earn some money. I was tired of getting molested by my own father knowing I cannot tell my mother about it. I took all the burden on my shoulders.

"My father fell sick one morning, I was the only one with him at home. My mother went to school with Ammar because he was not doing well in his academics. He called for my help, my father but I left him there. When I came back from work late into the night, my mother asked whether I have some money we can take him to the hospital because he's gambled away his shop. She was galvanized that her husband gambles. Like I said, everyone adored him in the community so no one believed he could do anything wrong.

"I had money, enough of it then but I said I don't. There was no way I was going to help that monster survive. He died, I killed him and I felt free. I was elated, but never the same. Everything changed. Burying those secrets..." he trailed off, staring far out into the obsidian sky from the window.

Jannah shocked him by bursting into tears, her hands jerking up to her face, glittering rivulets leaking out from between her fingers. Adnan hauled her into his arms, crushing her against his bare chest. The feel of her tears on his skin caused him to ache with painful remorse. He cursed and did his best to comfort her. Why did he tell her? But why does he feel light? Extremely happy?

After so much consoling from Adnan, Jannah leaned away from him while hiccuping. "You didn't kill him and you did the righ-right thing. He was a beast!" She almost shouted, her hands fisted angrily.

"Easy there, tigress." He kissed away her tears gently, not allowing them to pass her soft lush cheeks.

Craving the feel of her bare skin, he moved his fingers up to her throat, stroking the rapid throb of her pulse. His mouth slid from her cheeks and traveled along her neck until he found the tender pulse point. Jannah stiffened her legs, her hands gripping his shoulders to bolster her failing balance. With a low murmur, Adnan gathered her more firmly against his body and sought her lips again. She could no longer hold back the pleading sounds in her throat, her mouth working frantically to draw in more of his taste, more of the warm male silk of his mouth

"Bu-but we are-are talking." She stammered inside his mouth.

"That is over. I cannot have you crying over my past. It is all behind us now." He kissed her again, slowly lying back on the bed and bringing her along with him.

Suddenly Jannah could not separate sounds and scents and textures from each other. She did not know if the faint taste of wine came from her mouth or his. She did not care if that rapid thudding was his heartbeat or her own. The sky was falling around her in brilliant ebony shards and little pinpoint stars, and time was shuddering to a halt. Words and thoughts vanished with lightning quickness while the only thing that remained was the pleasure of his lips and the hard strength of his body.

And he made love to her... they both knew this was different. It was a route to a new beginning.

Adnan watched as Jannah sleeps with light snores. He just got her dressed back into his sweater because the weather was chilly. Adnan had never expected to feel such responsibility for a woman, such an emotional and physical connection to her.

The act of sex seemed almost new, as if in taking her innocence he had somehow gained back a little of his own. He wanted to make love to her again, teach and explore and share with her. Although he had reluctantly acknowledged his growing love for her before tonight, the feelings were suddenly infused with promise and wonder, and every fragment of bitterness was gone. He felt humbled, almost clumsy, a great moonstruck creature whose every hope of happiness was absurdly precarious.

He wouldn't describe all these as just love...