The Signs As Greg Lines

Aries:

"No such thing as a good war, kiddo."

Taurus:

"I may be losing my hair, but the magic's still there!"

Gemini:

"Hey! It's not like a six pack is gonna save you from that height!"

Cancer:

"I don't understand anything anymore."

Leo:

"I have to be there for my son."

Virgo:

"If I'm not back in an hour... call the police."

Libra:

"Guys, I just had the best idea for an album cover."

Scorpio:

"He's dead to me."

Sagittarius:

"If every porkchop were perfect, we wouldn't have hotdogs."

Capricorn:

"Hey, Pearl. Come to check out some buff studs?"

Aquarius:

"Oh, this kid is killing me!"

Pisces:

"Let me drive my van into your heart."