Last chapter!

TW overdose/suicide

Collect the bad habits that you couldn't bear to keep
Out of the woods, but I love
A tree I used to lay beneath
Kid's teeth stained red
From a sour bottle, baby girl
With eyes the size of baby worldsWe're the new face of failure
Prettier and younger, but not any better off
Bulletproof loneliness at best

~~

I woke up somehow standing up. I looked around and saw I was in front of a group of people in a church. When I turned, I saw a coffin sitting there.

"Frank," I whispered. "Frank, what did you do?"

I stepped up slowly but frowned in confusion when I saw myself laying in the coffin.

"Wait, what's going on?" I asked. "This...this isn't real."

"You mixed alcohol, cocaine and heroin, what did you think was going to happen?" Someone asked.

I turned around and saw Lindsey standing there in a white dress.

"I'm so sorry, Lindsey," I said. "I didn't mean to make you--"

"You can hold it," Lindsey interrupted. "I'm not actually Lindsey. You just imagine me to look like her because you still feel guilty about her death."

"So, I'm dead?" I asked. "That's it? That's the end?"

"Look at this, you don't have many attendees," she said as she looked around. "You didn't seem to make much of an impact on this world. Didn't make much of an impact on the other world either."

"The other--I was right!" I exclaimed. "I knew it! I was sent to an alternate dimension through the multiverse! Ray was the only one to believe me!"

I saw Ray at that moment and all my joy left my body. He sat there with his parents as he cried and they tried to comfort him. My mom was sobbing and Mikey was there to console her. Although, it didn't seem to really care.

"You couldn't even win over the affection of your own brother, that should have been the easiest step," she said.

There were a couple relatives and classmates here but at the back was the one crying the loudest. I took a few nervous steps closer, seeing Jamia as she tried to calm someone down, whispering softly.

"It's okay," she said. "It isn't your fault. You knew he had a drug problem, you said he tried to get you to join him before. Clearly he had a problem. But you can't blame yourself."

The person looked up and I saw it was Frank. His face was a little less swollen now, but it was puffy from crying.

"B-but I broke up with him," he said. "I-I was upset, I d-didn't mean it. He would have n-never gone there if it weren't for me."

Jamia shushed him, rubbing his head.

"Look at that, you broke Frank Iero's heart yet again," Lindsey said, no sympathy in her voice.

"Who are you, an angel?" I asked. "Because you're a fucking asshole."

Lindsey shrugged, resting her hand on Frank's shoulder. Frank didn't flinch.

"I need to get out of here," Frank said.

He walked out of the church and we followed behind as he walked down the street. I watched as Frank gave money to a homeless man and helped hold open the door of a shop for a lady with a stroller.

"You changed him a lot, for the better," Lindsey said. "The old Frank would have never donated money or wasted his time helping some random lady."

Frank got to his mansion and went to his room, sitting down at his desk.

"It's just over?" I asked. "Because I couldn't make amends with Frank it's just over now?"

"Are you that dense?" Lindsey asked, running a hand down her face in frustration. "This had nothing to do with Frank!"

"No, but me and Frank were arguing when I got hit by the car and we were arguing when I died," I said.

"You were arguing over drugs, you died from drugs," she said. "The problem was fucking drugs, you imbecile. You were a fucking alcoholic with a newfound drug problem."

"I-it didn't have to do with Frank?" I asked.

"No," she said. "And if you went a single week without drinking or drugs then you could have gone back to your world within the first week. But you ruined it all. You ruined not one but two lives, most people don't get a second chance at life. You had the chance to realize your mistake but instead you went and fucking died."

I looked down, my eyes watering.

"You've ruined Frank twice in this world now, first when you outed him and then when you died," she said. "You were given a second chance and you ripped it entirely to shreds. I just sat back and watched you screw up all over again. You're a fuck up."

"You could have told me!" I shouted. "You could have given me some sort of hint! I was put into this world without any sort of clue of what to do! I would be absolutely nowhere if it weren't for Ray there to help me! I probably would have been dead ten times sooner! Hell, I just out a fucking window on the first day!"

"But you just kept going back to the booze and the drugs," she said, shaking her head in disappointment like I had said nothing. "Any time you were upset or even just bored you were right there with that water bottle full of vodka. And then you went to the club, drunk as a skunk, and decided to snort a line before shooting up heroin. You were mixing so many stimulants, your little heart couldn't take it anymore."

My lip quivered as I looked down.

"I'm sorry," I said. "Is that what you want me to say? I'm sorry, okay? I fucked up, I get that now. This was all my fault and I do nothing but ruin the lives of everyone around me. Is that what you want? I suck, okay? I ruined everything. I am a complete and total fucking mess. A drug addict, a drunk, a fucking waste of space."

"If only you could have realized that sooner, then all of this could have been avoided," she said, her arm spanning across the room.

"What could have been avoided?" I asked as I watched Frank get up and sit on the bed with his back to us. "My death? Maybe I deserve to die."

"But does Frank?" Lindsey asked.

I frowned in confusion when I heard a loud bang. I looked over, blood splattered on the wall and a gun in Frank's hand. I fell backwards against the wall, vomit threatening to be released.

"Frankie?" Someone called.

Linda ran upstairs with a dish cloth in her hand. She screamed, running over to her son. She wrapped the cloth around the bullet wound in Frank's head.

"It's okay," she sobbed. "It's gonna be okay, Frankie. You're okay, you're my little baby."

I turned away, facing the corner as I covered my ears.

"Make it go away," I cried. "Stop it! I get it! I messed up! Just take me to hell already!"

I just rocked gently, hearing the commotion of sirens and paramedics. I didn't dare look back though, I knew there wasn't a chance he was okay the second I heard the zipper of a body bag.

"You tortured him with your drug problems in the last world and this world," Lindsey said, her breath fanning over the back of my neck. "You're the problem, you're the reason he just killed himself."

I whimpered, shaking my head even though I knew it was true.

"Gerard?" A soft voice asked.

I looked over and saw Frank sitting next to me in a completely white suit.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize I had a problem," I said.

My lip quivered as I watched him stand up.

"You ruined me," he whispered. "You ruined everything."

Frank walked out into the hall and I chased after him but when I got there, he was gone.

"Wh-where is he?" I asked. "Where did he go?"

"He's dead now, Gerard," Lindsey said. "He's moving on, going to Heaven."

"And how much longer until I go to Hell?" I asked. "How much longer are you just going to stand here torturing me?"

"We just want to make sure you fully understand what you did wrong," Lindsey said. "And I'm sure you know just how much of an addict you really were, you were drinking from day one. We thought that when Lindsey took her own life you would stop but no, you only got worse. And even when you were in a good, happy place with Frank you still couldn't stop popping pills or stealing booze."

I looked away, my stomach twisting when I saw Frank's bloody wall and bed.

"I wasn't the only one with a problem in this world," I said. "Yeah, I couldn't bond with Mikey but he was a douchebag. Lindsey was obsessive and wouldn't take a hint. Frank beat me multiple times and refused to tell me that he loved me."

Lindsey stared at me. "Are you really willing to blame all of this on everyone else? Are you really going to do the same thing you did in the other world?"

My lip quivered as I shook my head. I could try to deny it but it really was all my fault.

"I accept my responsibility," I mumbled. "I had a problem, I made Frank kill himself."

Lindsey nodded, crossing her arms.

"Is it time to go to Hell now?" I asked.

"Follow me," she said.

We walked down the stairs and I tried to ignore the sound of Linda weeping in the other room. We walked down the basement stairs where the door was. I grabbed the handle, hissing as it burned my hand. But I ignored it and walked through the door anyways.