I sat down with Frank at lunch.

"So, I'll trade you my pudding for your apple," I said. "I'm in an apple mood today."

"We should keep our food to ourselves," he said.

"Okay," I said. "Did you wanna play some video games after school?"

Frank sighed and got up, walking away from the table. I frowned following after him.

"Leave me alone you fucking fag!" Frank shouted.

He turned, slapping me across the face. I stared at him in shock, he seemed just as surprised.

"I-I didn't mean to..." Frank trailed off before leaving the cafeteria.

Jamia came up to my side, pulling me out to the hallway. My eyes watered as I sat on a bench, looking out the window.

"Does this have anything to do with Frank hooking up with me on Saturday night?" She asked.

"Saturday night?" I asked. "Right after our date?"

"You had gone on a date that night?" Jamia asked. "I'm sorry, if I knew he was seeing someone I wouldn't have slept with him. Why was he so upset when he came by?"

"Because someone called us fags when we were kissing," I said. "And then he just took his jacket back from me and left."

"Shit, I'm sorry," she said. "I'll try talking to Frank. I could tell he didn't mean to hit you, he was just upset and sometimes when he's upset he lashes out."

"Yeah, I heard he's been known to break things," I said. "I was just hoping it wasn't going to be my face."

"This is new to Frank," she said. "He's never questioned his sexuality before. He is closeted and scared. His dad isn't the greatest and has always tried to mold him into this perfect son that Frank has tried his hardest to be."

I looked down, shaking my head.

"I just thought I was making progress with him, we were doing good together," I said. "And I know he's scared and just have to take it slow."

Jamia nodded, rubbing my shoulder.

"I'm really sorry," she said before leaving.

I wiped my eyes, grabbing my notebook before I started writing.

Frank, I know that this is hard for you. If you don't want to be with me then you should just say it, not sleep with another girl. I'm sorry if I pushed you too far too fast, I just want us to be together and happy. I know it's hard for you with your dad and everything. Just know that I'm here for you if you need anything. I care about you a lot, Frankie. Just know that I need to make amends for you and I want you to be happy, even if you decide it's not with me. But staying in the closet is not what's going to make you happy. I care about you a lot and I wish that you could express your feelings. Expressing feelings can be good for you and can make you feel better. We can go back to how we were before, just hanging out in private in secret. We can do anything you want, just let me make amends with you.

I stuffed the note into Frank's locker before going to my next class.

At the end of the day I went home. It was empty, my mom was at book club and Mikey was at lacrosse practice. There was a knock on the door and I opened it to find Frank.

"I'm sorry for hitting you," he whispered, holding my letter in his hand.

"Frankie, can we talk?" I asked.

He nodded and we went down to the basement. We sat down on the couch, a little bit of space between us. Frank looked at me with watery eyes.

"I didn't mean to sleep with Jamia," he whispered. "I also didn't mean to hit you. I-I'm so sorry. I like you a lot, Gerard. I'm just shit."

"You're going through a lot, Frank," I said. "What you did wasn't great but you were scared."

Frank looked down in shame. I moved over to straddle his hips.

"Listen, Frank, the next time you're feeling some type of way, you need to come talk with me," I said. "I want to be part of your life."

I kissed him softly and he held my hips before pulling away.

"I think we should break up," he said.

"What? Why?" I asked.

"Because you deserve someone better than--"

"Oh, knock that off," I interrupted. "You're the only boy that I want, Frankie, I love you."

"How can you even say that?" He asked. "I've done nothing but hurt you ever since we first started talking."

"Frank, I know that it's hard for you to deal with your emotions," I said. "I would like it if you didn't take it out on my face but everyone has different ways of expressing their emotions."

Frank cupped my cheek gently.

"It's still a little red," he muttered. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to."

Frank kissed my cheek, holding onto my hand.

"I'm sorry for everything that I did," he said. "I really did have a good date, I loved it, actually. But then there was that guy on the ferry. No one has ever said anything like that to me before. I didn't know how to react other than to sort of prove to them that I wasn't gay. I think I'm just not ready to be out yet. I don't think I'm ready for the romantic dinner dates or the public kissing. It's just a little too much all too fast. I didn't know how to deal with it. And I'm ready to come out to some people like Jamia but not to the world just yet, not to the public, even if it's in front of people I don't know."

"That's okay, I understand," I said. "But next time just talk to me about it, you shouldn't bottle up your emotions anymore, it's not good for you. I'm always here to listen. We're in a relationship now and that means we talk about this stuff with each other, we don't just have sex with someone else."

Frank nodded, his lip quivering as he looked down.

"I cheated on you," he said. "How can you even stand looking at me?"

I sighed. "We both have made mistakes."

"Both?" He asked.

I wasn't the best in the other world, he wasn't the best in this world. I guess that makes us even.

"It's a long story," I said. "Listen, I know that we're meant to be and everything is going to be okay. We will make it through this and when we do we will be stronger than ever."

I gave him a kiss, pressing my body against his. I slowly ground against him, tangling my hands in his hair.

"Do you really still wanna do this with me after what I did?" He asked.

I nodded, kissing Frank's neck. He held my hips as I pressed my lips against his.

"Fuck, baby, you gonna ride me?" He asked.

I nodded, rocking my hips.

"What the fuck am I looking at?" Someone asked.

I jumped up, looking at Mikey at the bottom of the stairs.

"Why aren't you at practice?" I asked.

"Why are you making out with my best friend?" He asked.

"You can't tell anyone," Frank said as he stood up. "You can't tell people that I'm gay."

"I don't care that you're gay, Frank," Mikey said. "What I care about is that you chose to be with my nerdy, loser brother."

Frank shoved Mikey, only earning a shove in return.

"Okay, okay," I said. "Just stay calm. There's no reason to start fighting. It doesn't matter."

Frank sighed and nodded, running a hand down his face.

"You could have chosen any boy at our school, why did you have to choose my best friend?" Mikey asked.

"Mikey--"

"Michael," he corrected.

I sighed. "Michael, the heart wants what the heart wants. Me and Frank are just meant to be and there's nothing more to it."

"I'm not ready to come out yet, Michael, you can't tell anyone," he said.

"Frank, you're my best friend, I'm not going to be a complete dick and just out you to everyone," Mikey said.

"Thanks," he said.

I sat on the couch as Frank stood a little awkwardly between me and Mikey.

"Can you leave us alone again, Michael?" I asked.

"No, it's my turn to hang out with Frank," he said.

"I should probably get going anyways," Frank said. "I just wanted to come by and talk to you about the letter, Gerard."

I walked him upstairs to his car, giving him a soft kiss.

"Thank you for the letter and helping me to open my eyes," he said. "I don't know what I would be without you. Probably the same dickwad as before. Things have definitely gotten better since I've met you, I've really grown a lot as a person."

"I'm glad that you feel that way," I said.

"I know I'm not ready for the whole real date thing but maybe I can do a little fake date for us," he said. "Not fake, private. A private date at my house. What do you say? To make up for the shitty weekend and date?"

"Yeah, that sounds like a lot of fun," I said.

Frank cupped my cheek before giving me a gentle kiss. He got into his car and drove off, leaving me to sigh as I leaned against the porch railing. I went inside to relax but only got an earful of Mikey complaining to me about stealing his best friend.