(Y/n pov.)

"Oh my barb give it a rest!" You walked up to the top of the base and just watched. These idoits...

(2 hours later)

They don't understand how this works do they? Oh well at least it's funny "Ok we agree to the terms you first! And then we send over the medic". Church yells. Just loud enough for me to hear. "I would just like to let everyone know that I suck". "And?" "And that I'm a girl". That's offensive "what else?" "And I like ribbons in my hair and I want to kiss all the boys". "Ok is that good enough?" "Yeah!" Doc crosses over to the reds. Morons.

(Time skip)

With everyone acting stupid as usual you decide to climb up either side of the canyon and see if there is anything interesting cause honestly If you were supposed to protect Church like he can't die so you can spare a couple days away from them. Going up the one side reveled nothing except the fact that the canyon was as boring as ever. But on the other side.... Caves? Wow these are gonna take a while to poke around in.

(Time skip)

"Holy meow". "This place is unbelievably big...." I should probably get back to the idoits to make super no one died.

(Time skip)

"You what?!" "Also Caboose is jelous of Lopez now". "Hold on tucker, Church your ex girlfriend came back from the dead as a ghost to save ya'll from an evil ai that jumps via radios and doc is now missing and Lopez and Shila are in love?" "Yes". "Oh meow my life". "NoW the machines are not gonna do meow for us until working conditions improve". I talk to church for 1 minute! HOW THE MEOW DO THEY MANAGE TO..."Tucker?" "Yes?" You exhale and turn around to look at him. "WHAT THE MEOW DID YOU DO?!" "Guys, hey guys! Where is everybody? I saw something really weird in that cave that- hey that's cool when did we get a tank?" You motion for Caboose and Tucker to follow you and go down and around the side of the base. "Wait a minute this looks like the store...except Sarge told me there is no store..." Donut turns around. "Oh no..." "Oh yeah!" Barb Tucker loves being the advantaged one... "So they send a female asassin to try and kill us, clever but it won't work we're immune to your feminine wiles...unless you want to date one of us". You resist the urge to facepalm. "Female?! I'm not a girl! I just have light red armor" Oh for the love of "how is that pink armor anyway? Looks comfortable!" Are they seriously this stupid? "At first I hated it but it's kinda grown on me! My old armor used to chafe my thighs something awful, but the crotch in this pink one is surprisingly roomy!" "Silence woman!" "Tucker! He's a dude!" "But she's in pink armor!" "Wait you believe me?!" "Oh my barb Donut" you say " of course I 'believe' you, it's very ovious that your not a woman". "What?! No! She's a chick!" "Oh my gosh Tucker does it even matter?!" "Donut do you know anything?" "No, they just make fun of me" figures "Tucker" "yeah?" "You know where to find me if you need me". "No I don'ttttt!" You chuckle as you walk up to the top of the base and sit down feet dangling off the edge. Their all idoits...but honestly how nice would that be? Just a sim soldier who doesn't even know his right from his left. No guilt, no shame, no worries of all the deaths you could have stopped or even why you were here? What happened to project freelancer? Your friends...if they even were your friends... All they care about is getting as much out of this for themselves as possible by doing as little work as possible... You sigh and look out at the sky wondering if somewhere someone you know is looking at the same sky wondering about you.

Wait why is everyone walking to the middle of the gulch? You groan realizing that you have to go take care of your idoits. You jog over just in time to catch the ensuing chaos... per usual. "This is blood gulch outpost number 1 do you read me?" You look between Sarge and Tucker "what the meow is going on?" "Private who? No vic this is Sarge! From blood gulch outpost number 1!" "Hello???" You look at Tucker. "I'm up to my haunches in hyenas here vic! I need an air strike and I need it on the pronto!" You roll your eyes "he realizes we're right here right? And since when did we have active communication with command?" "But I can't I had to use spare parts from our fax machine to build Simmons 2.0!" A screeching beep comes from Simmons "woah excuse me it must have been something I ate.." "Hey Simmons?" Griff asks "Why is there paper coming out of your meow?" Oh my barb this army! "What the meow vic how do you know the red team!why are you helping them against the blues?! What the meow is going on here?!" Tucker blurts "wait you have contact with someone too?! Why did no one ever tell me?!" "Wait vic red command! Come in! We need you!" Sarge turns to his team "Simmons, Grif we're out of luck get ready to open fire, today is a good day to die!" He cocks his gun "wait I think today is actually a good day to retreat, can't we push dieing to a week from friday?" "Yeah let's all rake dieing as an open action item and come back with suggestions next meeting". Seriously....what the meow? "No, it has to be today for our ancestors!" Sarge lets out a battle cry and finally Tucker acts. "Wait! Everyone stop fighting! It's all a lie! Red and blue, blue is red we're all the same!" Are they just making gun noises with their mouths and yelling? You can't hear straight over the noise but then tucker gets blown sky high. Seriously again?!

(A/n) so I apologize in advance but I'm going to be skipping some stuff...if you have complaints feel free to say so and I'll see what I can do.