"You know I think I might be," he chuckled, putting on the goggles. He cut the onions, looking towards me, waiting for my eyes to start tearing up. "It burns but- wait are you crying underneath those goggles?" I squinted, tiptoeing to get a closer look, not realising how close I was getting. His index finger pushed me back away, but I had already seen his tears.

"I'VE GOT SENSITIVE EYES." He defended himself, lifting the goggles to wipe his eyes. "NO-" I tried to stop him but he had already started to rub his eyes. "OUCH OUCH WHAT DID I DO?" He groaned in pain. "You rubbed your eyes with the same hands you touched the onion with. Your iQ is on the fucking floor." I shook my head, smiling.

"HEY I JUST- never mind." I got excited about the smile that had just taken over my face, but I realised he wouldn't have seen it since his eyes were sort of burning. "Go wash your face idiot," I pushed him in the direction of the sink. He bent down his head accidentally smacking it on the tap.

I released a laugh, stepping towards him, attempting to help him. He put his head up, eyes still red and shut tight,

"DID YOU JUST LAUGH?" He screamed, jumping in joy. I facepalmed, grabbing the back of his neck to push him down to the sink, opening the tap and washing his eyes myself. I threw him a towel, he seemed to rush to wipe his eyes as he opened them again before running towards me.

"Was it real? Was it real laughter? Did you actually laugh?" He asked quickly. "Yes... I did," I spoke out, proud of myself, oh how far I have come in a couple of days. Dad would be so proud...

"Can you do it again? I didn't get to actually uhm, see it," he asked, making me shake my head. "No you cannot, now it's getting late, goodbye." I grabbed his wrist, taking him towards the door, I threw his bag to him before closing the door in his face. I plopped onto the sofa releasing a sigh.

Finally.

Peace and quiet. Now I can actually think about everything he said. Individual powers? What's the point of that if we can just cast spells for it? And why does he think I have more than one? UGH. My head hurts. "Jewel Jackson, the girl who shouldn't have lived. The girl who doesn't even know fucking why." I massaged my temples annoyed. I just need to know everything about me. My curiosity physically hurts. I sat down with a piece of paper, writing down the name Azriel. Who is this person? And why are people sending their letters to me?

A Z R I E L

Liar? God I'm not getting anywhere with this shit, why am I playing mix and match with a fucking name.

Next day

I grabbed an apple, leaving for school looking dead inside. I normally look like that but this time I was actually feeling it. I hadn't gotten a blink of sleep, it's so mentally exhausting to live a life not even knowing who you really are. And it's even more frustrating to know that someone who has no links with you whatsoever knows everything about you, and doesn't tell you anything in detail. LIKE GOD KIM TAEHYUNG IS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO TELL ME ABOUT ME.

I stepped out the house, Taehyung standing further from the door this time. "Hey," he waved, I just nodded to acknowledge his presence while walking past him. "You don't have to walk me to school you know," I said, wanting my alone time back. "I know, but I want to," he replied.

We made it to school, I went into my homeroom class first to greet Mr Kim. Him and Yoon Seohyun; Seojun's sister that I just never got along with, seemed to be having a serious conversation. So I kept my distance until it was over, she exited the classroom with a sad expression, which confused me but I didn't really care.

"I smiled yesterday," I skipped over to Jin, not even saying hi or anything. "Jewel that's wonderful," he pulled me into his embrace. "He would be so proud of you. Both of them," he ruffled my hair. "I'd like to know, was it because of that boy?" He asked.

"Yes but I don't understand, I can't stand him, but he makes me feel, so it makes me want to be around him more," I said. "Sometimes the best things in life are those you can't explain. Now hurry along you're going to be late to first period." He told me, making me realise that I had to get to maths class. I went to class, sitting down beside that dickhead Taehyung.

Class went by as usual, I hated maths because it was boring but I was quite decent at it. A long SAT question came onto the board leaving everyones brains in shambles. The teacher; Mrs Shim laughed and waited for someone to get the answer. All the smart kids had their notebooks out, racing to get the answer before one another. I squinted, silently examining the question while my finger played with my bottom lip out of concentration. "-3" I ever so quietly breathed out, getting the answer. Taehyung's hand shot up, making me look at him in wonder.

The teacher, looking impressed, picked him. "3," he said. "And how did you get that Mr Kim?" She tilted her head leaving him speechless. "It's right though so why does it matter-"

"It's wrong," she chuckled to herself, making me hesitantly raise my hand. "I'm pleasantly surprised, yes Miss Jackson?" She talked to me. "Uhm, -3?" I spoke out, everyone silent in awe of my voice.

"Well did you think I was mute?"

I asked everyone. God it's only been, a year since I've talked in class, fuck.

"Correct," she smiled. I leaned over to Taehyung, moving near his ear. "Next time you wanna steal my answer, hear it properly," I winked, before I was given a whiteboard marker in my hand.

"I'd like to ask you to write your working out on the board," she said. "Can't I just, explain with words?" I asked, pleading with my eyes since I really did not wanna have to get up at the front of class. She nodded at my suggestion, making everyone listen to me.

"Ehem. So, uh you, multiply each side of the equation by ax-2 to get rid of the fraction. And then multiply (-8x-3) and ax-2 using the FOIL method, and then you reduce-"

"Good job Jewel, that's ok, I think I'll explain the rest," she told me, noticing my extreme lack of skill when it comes to explaining things.

Lunch time

"You are not my friend."

"Oh c'mon we're basically best buddies." Taehyung sat down at my table along with his friends... along with Heon. "Remind me why we're sitting here," Heon glared at Taehyung, pressing down his fork into the chicken.

"It's already dead why are you abusing it?" I asked him making the boys chuckle before covering their mouths as if scared.

"It's okay to laugh I'm not going to kill you," I sighed. "Hi I'm Louis," they all introduced themselves as if we hadn't been in the same classes. I finished my lunch and got up, leaving the boys to enjoy. I wanted to go to the garden room, it was my comfort place. I looked at the bench that me and Seojun would spend our times at, skipping classes like rebels.

flashback

"JEWEL I SWEAR IT WASN'T ME!" Seojun held his stomach laughing behind the bench as I chased him. "What so a ghost put a fake lizard in my locker?" I asked sarcastically. I jumped over the bench grabbing his ear and sitting him down onto the bench.

"Okay but you should've seen your face! I haven't seen something so funny in ages," he chuckled. "Haha, very hilarious Jun," I crossed my arms as he jumped onto me to give me a hug. "FORGIVE ME YOUR HIGHNESS." He yelled sounding absolutely drunk while sober. I pushed him off of me, chuckling at his childishness. And just like that we laughed our asses off on that bench.

present

I sat alone on the same bench, looking to my left where he used to sit, sighing to myself while it felt like his presence was fading. "All I have left of you is memories," I closed my eyes, resting my head back.

"BOO!" I opened my eyes to see Taehyung's face above mine. "Aaa," I said with a straight face. "Will you ever let me sit in peace?" I said. "No," he faked a smile, sitting beside me. "Will you ever show me your smile?" He asked. "No," I faked a smile back. "Petty, I like it," he sighed.

"God did you see Jae panic over the fact that I wanted them to sit with you? Louis was fangirling, he must be so excited," he told me.

"And... Heon?" I raised my eyebrow, "he was too busy abusing his chicken I couldn't tell."

Taehyung said, making me break into a small smile as I swivelled my head to the other direction. "HEY THERE'S THAT DIAMOND SMILE," he chuckled.

I shook my head, looking back to him. Memories of Seojun were flashing as I looked into his eyes, I blinked my eyes repeatedly before standing up. "What's wrong-"

"Nothing. Just, leave... please. Go away," I took a deep breath, shaking my head. There's no similarity between them why would I even see anything like that?

Without asking questions he left the garden. I grabbed my hair in frustration, I have to get out of here, I attempted to climb the fence when I heard someone walk in. "Going somewhere?" I turned around to see Heon. "Hi," I said, pleasantly surprised.

"No we're not friends don't hi me," he crossed his arms, ego huge as always, he hasn't changed the slightest.

"Do you uh, still have that picture?" He asked. I knew instantly of what he meant. It was the 3 of us; me, Seojun and Heon... it was the last picture we ever took together, as a trio. "Of course, did you lose it?" I asked. It was a polaroid picture, I had the original but we photocopied it so all of us would have a copy. "My mum was cleaning my room and she must've misplaced it, I need it to-"

"Relax? Do you still get panic attacks?" I asked, concerned. "None of your business, just give it to me... please." He fidgeted with his fingers. I took out my phone, taking it out of my phone case and handing it to him. "Keep it," I told him, getting back onto the fence, jumping over. "Oh, and Heon," I called out for him, he turned around, raising his eyebrow.

"It's the original, so don't cut me out the picture this time," I said. "What-"

"You cut me out of your one. You wanted it to be just you and Seojun," I spoke. He walked to the fence, looking at me through the metal lining, "you knew...?"

"That you liked Seojun? Of course I did. You're my best friend."

"I saw it in your eyes."