13 | miss americana & the heartbreak prince
"Lulu, open up. Please. It's really important," I call, pounding on the door to her apartment with a clenched fist. It took me approximately 30 minutes to walk here. Located on the outskirts of town, her place is near Cape Bedford's only wasteland. The building itself looks like it's going to fall apart any second. The walls are covered in a layer of grime, the elevator doesn't work, and all of the doors make an awful creaking noise when they open. Bits of chipped off paints are scattered on the cracked tiled floors. I know she's home, I saw her car parked in the garage.
I'm so lucky that they wrote her address down on the statements because I couldn't find anything about her online.
Frustrated, I claw at my scalp, leaning my shoulder against the window sill.
"Lulu. Open the door. Please, I'm begging you. We need to talk," I repeat, frantically turning the door knob.
Still, nothing.
"开门 [open the door]," I say, desperately resuming the erratic, ineffective knocking.
No response. Instead, there's shuffling on the other side, followed by a loud thudding noise.
With a long-winded sigh, I take a step back. "Lulu, I know what happened."
Minutes pass by, and I wait outside, hoping she'd come out. The ruckus has transformed into complete silence on the other end. Did she find an escape somehow?
I'm about to give up when she cracks open the door so the silver chained lock is extended to its fullest length. Hesitantly, she sticks her head out the crack, dark circles rounded under her eyes. Once she registers it's me outside her apartment, she frowns.
"Yes? Why are you here?" Her tone is calm but shaky.
I don't reply. Reaching over, I rip the silver chain off the door, using my foot to keep it open. With all my might, I push the wood so I'm given a full room of the apartment. She looks at me in horror but does little to stop me from letting myself through the threshold. Inside, there's a small leak dripping down the corner of her kitchen, but other than that, her living quarters are pretty damn clean. Unlike the complex, the walls are well kept and there's a puffy purple rug in the middle of her living room.
Wasting no time at all, I push past her, storming down the hallway. There's only 1 bedroom, but there's a mattress on the floor near the bathroom that hasn't been made, suggesting someone was sleeping there recently, and she must've not been expecting them.
Lulu rushes to follow me, throwing herself between me and the empty room. She extends an arm out, blocking me from fully entering. "Princess, you can't go—"
"Halle, I know you're in here!" I call out, anxiously looking around the rooms. She's not hidden in plain sight. There isn't enough furniture for that.
Lulu's eyes widen, and her jaw becomes unhinged. "No! You have been mistaken. There's no one else living here."
"Really?" I challenge, plucking a strand of blonde and pink hair off the pillow sitting idly on the makeshift bed. Halle's hair. "Because I know for a fact this is not yours."
Without another word, I head into the bedroom, despite her protests. This apartment isn't that big, so there are only so many places she can hide. Suddenly, a loud banging noise sounds from one of the white vented cabinets. It looks big enough to fit 3 people in it.
Found her.
Gingerly, I twist the knob open. Stuffed between a bunch of tribal printed blankets is a girl I recognize from a polaroid, except her previously ash brown hair has been cut into a pixie style and dyed a lavender color. That's not the only thing that's changed about her. Now, she has a spiky eyebrow piercing. Such a striking resemblance to her biological mother, so much so, that I'm ashamed I didn't notice it before. Same beauty mark on her cheekbone, glassy skin, and heart-shaped lips.
"Kass?" I ask, taking the bedding out of the cabinet and placing it on Lulu's bed. Saying her name out loud after finally meeting her makes the bundle of knots in my stomach tighten. I can't believe this is actually happening right now. For the longest time, she was so out of reach. Basically, she was a myth, a folklore, a legend, and I wasn't entirely sure she was real, let alone that I was ever going to see her in the flesh. Yet, here she is, entirely intact, and every bit as magical as I imagined her to be.
"It's not Kassie anymore," she replies dryly, with a small smile, presumably in response to me calling her by her real name. "It's Madelyn now."
A fake name. Of course. That's why she was able to duck out of the limelight and hide in the shadows for so long, never once leaving a paper trail.
There are so many things I want to ask her right now, but my mind settles on the most perplexing puzzle piece. "But...you're alive? And you've been here the entire time? I thought you were in Antioch..."
"Excuse me, but who are you again?" she asks, crossing her arms, and climbing out of the square compartment she was hiding in. "I don't think I owe you an explanation."
Sighing, I pinch the bridge of my nose. She's right, although maybe if I explained my circumstances, she'd understand. I don't see her as an enemy—never have, never will. "It's a long story, but all you need to know right now is that I'm on your side."
From the inside of my coat pocket, I pluck out the police statements I found at her family's house. They're folded into quarters, the latest ones towards the top.
Emerging from around the corner, Lulu and Halle look visibly distraught at what I've found. From what I've gathered, Halle must've been hiding somewhere in the small kitchen area. "Where—"
"You must've got that from my safe," Kassie (or Madelyn) answers, thumbing through the papers, slowly making sure they're all here. "Smart."
"Halle, are you okay?" I ask, watching as she hides behind Lulu, grabbing onto her mahogany maxi skirt for comfort.
"Physically, yes. Mentally, no," she replies with a small smile. Never thought I'd say this, but it's nice to see her and to know she's safe.
Redirecting my attention back to her sister, I press my lips into a grave line. "Wait, I'm going to need you guys to tell me everything. From the beginning."
"I'm sure you've pieced together most of it. You seem like an intelligent person. For starters," Kassie begins, taking a seat on their gray couch. She scoots enough so there's space for Halle, who curls up next to her. "Lulu's undocumented. If she had gone further with her accusations, she would've been deported. I'm pretty sure you've gathered that we're all...related. There were rumors already circulating that she had accused Wes of rape, and firing her would've brought more attention to that. Besides, not many other places would hire someone without papers. I guess it also made sense for her to stay because she could keep an eye on Halle and me."
Damn, I honestly can't imagine what that would feel like—having to see someone who violated in such an awful way every day you went to work. Must've taken a lot of strength. They took advantage of her because they knew she didn't have any options, and that's not even the most disgusting part.
My nails dig into my palms. I am infuriated. Pissed off, because they actually purposely put me against a woman who I should've been supporting the entire time. He made me think she did something wrong when, in reality, she was the victim the entire time. And the worst part is, for a second, I believed him.
Stay calm, I tell myself, now's not the time to get mad. You still have to piece together the rest of the story. "So you've been here the entire time?"
A tense exhale escapes her lips. Her back stiffens. "Not exactly. I did a little bit of traveling across America after I found out about...you know. The only reason I came back was because I heard Halle had left as well, and I really wanted to see her. Initially, when I first found out, I threatened to expose my father, and he told me that he'd cut off all financial support from me if I did. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed like the risk of that happening wouldn't be worth it. He has access to the best lawyers in the country, and who do you think the general public would believe? Sure as hell wouldn't be her or me. But I knew one thing for sure: there was no way I could continue living there. Not with the knowledge of what he did constantly in the back of my mind."
Nodding, I chew on my nail, processing her words. I'm not sure leaving was the wise option, but I understand why she did it. "And Drew?"
Kassie puts her chin in between her cupped hands, propping her elbows on her bare knees. "He's really, really good at forging documents. I got to know him at the galas he threw. As payment for helping me get a new ID, I tried to pay off his daughter's tuition. Obviously, it didn't work, but my dad doesn't know that he had something to do with me leaving. I doubt he cares anyway. I'm a lot more trouble than it's worth. Why would they need to look for me anyway?"
"This is so fucked up," I say, shaking my head, unable to contain my fury. "All of it. There's no justice."
"That's how the world works, isn't it?" she supplies, with a bittersweet smile. Halle has put her head on her lap, and she smoothes her hair away from her sister's face.
Huffing out a breath, I pull at the ends of my short hair. "That's the problem. It doesn't have to be this way."
In a perfect world, it wouldn't be, however, society is full of people who are greedy, power hungry, and selfish. That is human nature. When put into positions of authority, people abuse their power.
"Well, then what the hell are you supposed to do about it? Do you really think a handful of girls could win against a gigantic corporation?"
"Nope," Halle interjects, crunching down on her Jolly Rancher. The blue raspberry flavor. "But I had to leave too. I couldn't just stay there. I don't even think they even care that I left."
Kass snickers. "Don't be ridiculous, Hals, of course they care. Because this is a blow to their image."
"Fuck this," I curse under my breath, spinning back on my heels to leave. Anger courses through my veins, igniting every inch of my body. "This isn't right. I can't just let this happen without doing anything."
"Where are you going?"
"To kill your brother."
***
"Where did you go?" Hunter asks, opening the door to his room. His voice is so ear-grating, like nails on a chalkboard, though I couldn't let him know anything has changed. "I thought you went back home." With every word coming out of his mouth, the bundles of fear tighten in my stomach, but I couldn't let that stop me now. I've never despised anyone more in my entire life, and to think he had me turn against the people I love most sickens me.
Almost immediately, I kneel on his bed, the puffy sheets soft against my bare leg, observing as the gears finally turn in his head.
"Oh, you know. Places," I reply bitterly, inserting my hands into the space between his bed and the wall. You know, where the pictures were located.
He takes a couple of cautious steps towards me as if he's afraid I'll snap if his footsteps were too heavy. "What are you—"
"Oh," I begin, pulling at the metal bar that opens a glass cover, all undercurrents and spite intertwined in my demeanor, "I saw something here earlier that I thought was really cool."
"Leighanna," he warns, putting a hand on my shoulder to yank me backwards. Only, I rip away from his grasp before he can do anything stupid.
"Don't fucking touch me," I snap, swatting away his hand. The spot he touched has been tinged cold. Annoyed, I stumble back onto my feet, keeping a healthy distance between us; enough so I feel safe, yet close enough where I'm threatening.
Because the path to the opening is blocked by me, he stays put in place, hands in his pants pockets. "I don't know what the fuck you thought you saw in there, but I can explain."
"Explain?" I repeat in disbelief, the insensible rage getting the best of me. I couldn't help it. My self-restraint has been decaying exponentially, and right now, the consequences of my actions are the last thing on my mind. The scope of my disappointment knows no bounds, and frankly, I'm sick of taking everyone's shit without saying anything. I am not a punching bag. "What the fuck is there to explain? You targeted me. Is that what your fucking family does? Prey on vulnerable women that you know you can fucking manipulate?"
Angrily, I grab a glass vase from his desk and throw it in his direction. Unfortunately, he ducks his head out of the way before it can hit him, and it shatters into a million pieces when it hits the wall.
"Leighanna, stop."
Ignoring him, I chuck his laptop at him, watching as it splits in half when it lands. The wires and chips fall out of the thin backing. Of course, I know I am being difficult, but I couldn't help it. I am driven by pure adrenaline and pure unfiltered rage. A full-on meltdown. All the pent up frustration, the years and years of feeling like I didn't belong, and when I finally did, it all turned out to be a sham. I felt betrayed. Tricked, and I am so fed up with being used.
"What the fuck are you gonna do about it, rich boy? Buy another one? Human beings aren't replaceable."
My hand swings to strike him, but he's too quick. Grabbing the crook of my elbow, he pushes me against the wall, a sharp pain poking the back of my head when my skull makes an impact.
"You don't get it. I love you—"
I want to laugh, but I don't. "That's not enough anymore! I have so many other people that love me that don't treat me like shit."
"Like who?" he challenges bitterly. "Your mom? Faye? Tara? You were so blinded by wealth and status that you pushed them all away."
Caught off guard, I take a step back. "I—you—that's not true!" I splutter, desperate fiddling with my hands as I pace back and forth. My voice dies in my throat. The words are on the tip of my tongue, but as soon as I open my mouth, they fizzle into nothing.
"It is, and you know it," he retorts, taking my moment of weakness as an opportunity, stepping toward me. "You took advantage of a grieving brother. I didn't coerce you into agreeing with me. You made that choice. It takes two to tango."
A strangled noise leaves me. "You—"
He has me trapped, and I have nowhere to escape. "Face it, you have no one. Now, you're not a saint either, are you? You used me just as much as I used you."
He is wrong. I am not a bad person. Quite the opposite. I am a product of my own circumstances. Anyone in my position would do the same thing, right?
I am not a bad person.
...Am I?
Despite my efforts to hold them back, hot tears roll down my cheek. It didn't matter how many times I tell myself I didn't change, he is right, and I couldn't deny it. I've become a monster. I've become the very thing I sought to destroy.
His face softens, and he extends an arm to comfort me. "Hey."
"You don't fucking love me, okay?" I snap, using my palm to wipe away the salty water from my face. "Because if you did, you wouldn't let you fucking family act like that towards me."
"I'm not a racist," he defends, "I have no control over what they do. I am not them, and they are not me."
"You're worse," I hiss back, "you're a bystander. You knew what they were doing was wrong, and you never said anything. You just let that happen to me. Do you know how fucking painful it is holding all this in? I didn't say anything, because I was taught that it was okay."
Continuing on my path of rampage, I shred the posters off his wall, letting the bits of paper float in the air like confetti after a celebration. "You want to consume all this fucking culture, while you just sit back and watch your sister call me an oriental girl?"
He doesn't do anything to stop me. Instead, he stands still, chest heaving, and it only drives me madder.
Relishing on the aftermath of the destruction, I finally decide it's time for me to leave him in the entropy-filled room.
"Wait," he calls, as my hand is on the door. Hesitantly, I linger a second longer. "I know you know where my sisters are. Tell me."
After all that, he has the audacity to ask me for a favor? There is nothing he can give me in exchange for those girls' freedom. Entitled people will always act as if you owe them everything, regardless of the situation. Honestly, I'm disgusted with myself for not seeing him for what he truly is earlier. Until the very end, he will continue to be despicable.
"Rot in hell, D'Medici. I never want to see you ever again," I snap, slamming the door.
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