May 11, 2013

I was now a little over fourteen weeks pregnant. Calum had come home for a break almost two weeks ago on April 23. He surprised me because he didn't tell me he was coming home that day.

My stomach was getting bigger, and it was getting harder to hide it from my mum and everyone at school. Soon, everyone would figure it out.

I was just sitting on my bed, talking to Calum about what we would do once the baby was born and about how we would tell our parents since they were going to find out soon anyways.

"I don't know how we're going to tell our parents. I mean, my parents will flip ou-" I was interrupted by a very sharp pain in my stomach.

"Baby, is everything alright?" Calum was worried and he put his hand over my stomach, hoping it was.

"I don't think so.. It just started hurting, and it hurts so much..."

"Sky, let's get you to the hospital... We need to see what's wrong," He practically ordered and picked me up bridal style.

He ran me down the stairs and outside to where he had parked his car. Thankfully, my parents were down in the basement and didn't see us run out.

Calum had placed me in the passenger's seat. I was still curled up in a ball, clutching my stomach. Calum got into the driver's seat and sped off.

He got out his phone and began texting. Through the pain, I told him, "don't text and drive..."

"Babe, it's Sadie. I'm telling her that if your parents ask, we went to my house. I'm telling her that we're going to the hospital and to wish us good luck," he was worried that things weren't alright with the baby. I was too.

Once we got to the hospital, Calum was already way past done texting Sadie, so he parked and carried me into the emergency room, once again bridal style.

"Doctor!! I need a doctor!" He yelped, and a doctor came rushing over to us.

"My girlfriend is pregnant and has lots of sharp pains in her stomach. I think they're getting worse.." He told the doctor our situation.

The doctor had Calum lay me down on a bed, and they rushed me to do an ultrasound. On the way there, I felt something gush out of me. It felt like I peed myself. What I feared was that it was my water breaking.

"Something just gushed out of me..." I complained and the doctor replied, "okay, that was your water breaking.. Exactly what I was thinking was going to happen."

"But when her water breaks, that means she's going into labor. She's only fourteen weeks!" Calum was so confused.

"Well, she is delivering the baby now because she had a miscarriage. I'm so sorry, sir."

"Oh my god.. I- why?"

"Most likely stress. Was something stressing you out, miss?"

"Yes.." Keeping my pregnancy a secret from many people, I'm guessing is what it was.

"Well, let's get you into a room for delivery.." The doctor said, rushing me into the maternity wing of the hospital and getting me into a room.

Once we were in the room, the doctor had me push immediately. It wasn't very hard because the baby was so small. After only two pushes, it was out. The doctor announced that it was a girl.. It was so depressing seeing her, dead. I felt so bad. Just because I was stressing out about not telling people about her, now she was dead and in the palm of my hand.

"Jillian," Calum muttered, "Jillian Alicia."

"What?" I was sort of confused with what he was saying.

"What we should name her."

"Jillian Alicia Hood?"

"It's cute, isn't it?"

"Yeah.. It is. I like it."

"Our little Jillian."

"I can't believe she came so soon. And it's all my fault we're here."

"You can't blame yourself for being stressed. Not telling our parents caused you stress, so it's their fault. Blame them."

"I'm not going to blame them for something they didn't even know about."

"But, babe, Jillian did come and we're happy for the time we could have with her, right?"

"Right. Well what should we do?"

"I'm taking a picture of you two, my two girls.."

I just smiled, and he took a picture. He told me he was sending it to Sadie and the boys, plus the 1D boys since he had told them too.

"Mikey, Ash, and Luke going to be so sad.. They were looking forward to be uncles.. And Niall was joking about being the godfather," he sort of smiled while sniffling.

"Baby, don't cry."

"I know.. I shouldn't be. When we get married, we can have more beautiful children."

"Don't get weird and say we'd make pretty babies now.. That gets annoying."

"I'm not gonna say that."

"Good. But let's be happy that we had Jillian with us for a certain amount of weeks, okay?"

"Okay. I was glad to meet her too. A little early, but it was good to meet her."

"I think so too," I smiled down at the small baby in my hand. I couldn't believe we lost her, but I was glad she was ours..