-This was originally 4 different parts, but I combined them into one,  7150 word part...-

Lois wasn't great with children, fine, she wasn't even good with children.

The league promised her executive interviews with both Bruce Wayne AND the equally controversial Oliver Queen. But none that didn't motivate her enough to babysit their six shrunk-down sidekicks. She had a high bar.

But that bar was about to be met.

Listed in the children she'd have to watch, one name stood out: 'Superboy'

She'd almost thrown herself out the window right then and there to demand an explanation from the big Blue Boy scout. Superman had a son? SINCE WHEN?

That was her higher bar. She could babysit, but only if they told her about Superboy and didn't make her sign an NDA.

The league knew better than to low-ball her, but Batman managed to haggle her down to a conditional NDA: She could write about it, but no secret IDs, weaknesses, or details the kid sidekicks may find humiliating when they were teenagers again. She had to agree; she NEEDED to know about that Superboy.

Which brought her to this moment: standing in her apartment doorway, facing Wonderwoman and Green Arrow, plus the small army of children at their feet. Lois had tried to snap a picture through the peephole, since 'Wonderwoman and Green Arrow seen in Metropolis' was a solid headline on its own.

"We're sorry we needed to ask for your help, especially on short notice. we needed someone trustworthy who was unaffiliated with the Justice League."

"Well if you've got me off work, I don't have the option to say no, do I?" She said. "But I am being payed for this, so it's more like getting a worse, better paying job."

"First, an operating manual." Green Arrow passed her a stapled-together leaflet of babysitting instructions.

"One two three... eight pages." Lois observed, regretting this already. No story was worth this.

"The kids have backpacks for their things. But this-" He gave her a thick manilla file. "Is for you."

Wonder Woman, who was holding what must be an infant, shifted the strap of a baby bag on her shoulder. "We obviously censored some details, but for the most part..."

Lois's eyes lit up, it took all her self restraint to not tear it open right there and pop open a highlighter. "And...?"

"They'll be a cheque delivered to you on Friday." The archer assured.

"Thank you."

"Be safe, little ones." Wonder Woman planted a kiss on each child's head. "Don't give Ms. Lane any trouble, now."

"I'll keep them good." Kaldur promised, shifting on his feet a little. The gravity of land had a habit of making his feet and legs hurt.

"Thank you." She told him.

There were six children, ranging from about five to one? or two? However old that baby was. And Lois was beginning to think that she had been prioritizing the wrong things. Sure, several great stories that no reporter had even thought to attempt, but there were children.

Sure, doing a solid for the Justice League and being the first civilian, let alone reporter, to access restricted Justice League files on the unknown Superboy... but she didn't know how to set up a pack n play!

Lois hadn't really known how to child-proof her apartment. She basically just took anything she thought could kill them and put it on top of the fridge.

In hindsight that was dumb, because everyone knows that Superman can fly, and if Martin Manhunter can fly, what was stopping these demon children from floating up and grabbing the bleach?

She watched the kids get settled on her couch -she was deep cleaning this whole place later- and held up the instruction sheets, glancing over them:

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Ms. Martian. Real Age: 48 (16 on mars). Current age: 4-5. General notes: Ms. Martian is capable of flight and will frequently lose gravity while she's distracted or asleep. She also shapeshifts, do not panic if she changes into what seems like a monster in her sleep. Threaten her with time out if you start hearing a voice in your head.

Kid Flash. Real age: 15. Current age: 3. General notes: Kid Flash's metabolism is accelerated, he will need to eat frequently, every hour or so. He is also, obviously, extremely fast, try to keep him in your eyeline and don't let him out because he'll get lost.

Robin. Real age: 13. Current age: 1. General notes: refer to pages 2-4.

Superboy. Real age: 7 months (appears 16). Current age: 3-4. General notes: superboy has incredible strength and hypersensitivity, especially hearing. Try to deescalate situations before violence or shouting, he has an extremely difficult temper. Refer to page 7 for details on his sleeping habits

Artemis. Real age: 15. Current age: 3. General notes: Artemis can get very aggressive if not given attention. There is a pretend bow in her backpack, you probably shouldn't let her put the arrows in it as she is a sharpshooter. There are meds in her bag, it's listed with her bedtime needs on page 7

Aqualad. Real age: 17. Current age: 5. General notes: Aqualad is very prone to dehydration, there's a bottle of saltwater with a nasal mask in his bag if he starts to cough or pass out. If he spontaneously looses consciousness, call one of the contacts on the back of this sheet.
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She reread the front sheet and set it down. These were six of the most high-maintenance kids in the USA. Pages two-to-four were just about the boy wonder (the baby that was currently being lifted in the air with telekenisis, a detail the Justice league didn't seem to think was important enough to mention), page five was about food and feeding the kids (a nightmare) and page six covered general age milestones like toilet training, physical capabilities, etc.

Page seven was about bedtime routines, no real surprise, and page eight was about punishments and rewards, as well as the contents of each child's bags.

It was a lot, and considering that they'd forgotten to mention Ms. Martian's telekenisis, Lois was skeptical.

"HI!"

"Hello?" She finally set down the papers and got a look at the kid. "You're..." she checked the paper, this wasn't Ms. Martian or Artemis, he didn't look like superman or an Atlantian, and since Robin was a baby: "...Kid Flash?"

"Uh huh!" He said. "You're Ms. Lois. The League talks 'bout you!"

"Really?"

"M." He confirmed. "Superman does- oh." He covered his mouth. "Sorry."

"You're... welcome?"

"Not you. Him." The child said. "We can't- aren't allowed t' talk about him." the redhead continued. He turned and bounced over to the overs "Arty! can I use your bow?"

"NO!" She shouted. "Red got it fer ME!"

"Com'on! pleeeaase?"

Lois couldn't wrap her head around why she couldn't bring up Superman...
That reminded her- she had a stack of files on the Superboy. She also had Superboy. It wasn't hard at all to pinpoint him, he looked like a shrunken down Superman with untidy hair, and a blue shirt marked with the logo.

"Superboy?" That confirmed it, he turned to look at her. She waved him over into her tragically barren kitchenette.

The boy trampled over, a little nervous like he thought he might be in trouble. "What?"

"I like your shirt." She told the boy. Lois usually struggled to start conversations with anyone younger than Jimmy Olson.

"Thanks." he said cautiously

"So... is Superman your dad?" Clark would give her shit for being to upfront, but at least she wasn't lying bout her intentions.

The boy looked down at his blue superman shirt and smiled. "Yeah."

"Really?" He nodded, holding tiny fists of his shirt. "I didn't even know Superman had a son."

"Him too."

"Hmm?"

"Superman didn't either know he had a son ." The child said. He had an impressive vocabulary but still spoke in that clunky speech pattern that you'd expect from a young child.

"He didn't?" She asked, intrigued. This was getting interesting.

"No."

"So, have you been living with mommy?" The boy frowned and shook his head. "No? Where have you been living?"

"With Ms. Martian."

"Oh... you live with Ms. Martian's family?" He shook his head definitively.

"Me and Mg- Ms. Martian live in Mount Justice." He said.

Oh. OH. "Are there adults there?"

"Red Tornado. But just sometimes. 'nd Black Canary sometimes."

"But where did you live before you moved into mount justice?" She asked, a little worried.

"In a pod."

Lois genuinely couldn't tell if this was a kid being silly, or if this was his truth. "A pod?" He didn't give any indication that he would elaborate. "What kind of pod then?"

"A cloning incubation pod." He replied casually.

"Oh."

Superboy turned away and returned to the safety of his friends, tugging on the green girl's sleeve.

There was having a big vocabulary, then there was whatever the hell this kid just said.

This seemed like a good time to crack open the files they gave her. That way she could either assure herself that Superboy was lying, or definitively win the fight with Superman when she inevitably gets to confront him.

"Hey! I remember."

"Hmm?"

"I forgetted to tell you. But I remember because I'm hungry." The redheaded boy told her.

"I have... bread." Lois said. What do you say to that? She wasn't exactly known for her cooking, and it was too early to order pizza or anything.

"Can I have toast?"

"Sure." She slid two slices of bread in the toaster out of habit, and got back to her reading. The justice league really gave her everything... she would have to sift through pages or measurement charts and censored training logs to find genuinely important information. She dug a highlighter out of her purse and ripped the top off with her teeth, highlighting the date of his first night in mount justice- seemed like the kid really did live there.

"Hey. 'xcuse- hey!" Lois restrained her first instinct to shake the child off her leg. "Can I have toast too?"

"Sure, there's already two pieces in there." She lowered the crisp page. "You are.... don't tell me...." What name definitely didn't belong to her? "Are you Aqualad?"

The blonde girl giggled at her for getting it wrong. "No! Artemis!"

"OH, Artemis!" She replied, smacking her forehead exaduratedly. That made the girl giggle even harder. For some reason Lois was torn between reading on and trying to make the kids laugh more.
She recapped the highlighter. "Can you show me who your friends are?"

"Okay." The toddler grabber her hand, tugging her to the couch. "But you have to guess!"

"I'll do my best."

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Robin was an easily entertainable infant, or maybe it was just because his fellow sidekicks, in leu of an interesting environment, were all trying to play with him.
Kid Flash in particular liked this, which was handy because he was Lois' secondary concern for entertaining.

Aqualad was the best to be around, he was the oldest and on the shier side. It was clear that the other kids trusted him though, because some of the only times he spoke to her was to politely tell her that one of the others needed something. That made him easy to handle too, he was polite, he didn't want to get in her way, and if she made it clear one of the others was in her way, he would quickly ask his friend to stop.

Ms. Martian was a sweetheart, admittedly. She scared the shit out of Lois several times by shapeshifting into doubles of her friends. But she promised not to float in front of open windows and help control Superboy.

Oh yeah.
Superboy.
Superboy was difficult in general. They really weren't kidding about his temper. She didn't know what to expect from 'has an extremely difficult temper', because if Superman had a kid, they had to have things in common, right? Sadly, the only thing they seemed to have in common were blue eyes and the ability to destroy everything in their path.

Artemis varied between being adorable and being an adorable pain in the ass. She was the cutest little archer of all time, but if any of Lois's rules got in her way she would claim that Green Arrow said she could.

the names were a lot to remember, and it was kind of weird to address little kids like that, but aside from one or two slip ups, the kids all insisted that they couldn't tell her their real names. thus, she dubbed them as follows: Ms. Martian = Missy(Far more child appropriate), Kid Flash = Kid, Aqualad = Webby (Because... webbed feet).

Artemis refused to be Arty, Arrowette or Bow, which is a real shame because Bow was a hilariously perfect name, and Superboy likewise refused any nicknames. So those two and Robin (Who didn't need one) went nickname-less. Though in Lois' heart, she knew they were Bow and Junior.

It was about noon now, and the past few hours had simultaneously flown by and dragged on for days. The three pages dedicated to baby Robin had ended up coming in handy with... everything? Like, changing diapers, feeding, dressing... she was grateful for the extremely detailed instructions.

"Can we have lunch?" Bow asked, growling a little as Missy tried to style her difficult long hair.

"Yeah, I can-" Damn, Lois can't go pick up food. She can't leave the kids alone OR take them out. and then there were the enticing stack of files on her counter that would take a single person six hours to sift through.

She could Doordash or something but she was a single woman living alone in metropolis, so that sort of thing was something she tried to avoid.

But who did she know who would drop everything to pick up food and bring it to her apartment? Who did Lois know who was that much of a sap?

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Lois wasn't at the office all morning, that was worrying enough, Lois didn't take days off. Around 11:30 she texted him a simple, cryptic message: 'My apartment, 12:15. Large plain cheese pizza'.

That was concerning. It was so vague, and who ate plain cheese pizza with nothing on it? Lois didn't, he knew that, he'd bought her pizza before.

Which brought him to this moment: holding a pizza box in one hand and tapping shyly on her apartment door. There was a strange sound behind the door, like squeaking and repeatedly dropping an object, or a lot of jumping. 

Clark used all his willpower to not peak through the wall and figure out what was up. He knocked again. "Lois?"

There were footsteps to the door and Lois opened it a little. "Smallville! What took you so long?" She unlatched the door and pulled it open, snatching the pizza box from Clark. 

"Lois, is everything-"

"I'll pay you back for the pizza." She said, turning around. 

"Lois-" Clark barely stopped the door from closing on him. "You're not at work today, is everything okay?"

"Food!" There were screams of excitement, startling Clark. She turned back to face her colleague. "I'm a little busy today, Trust me, I'm going to get a story to bring the roof down." 

"How?"

"I'll explain, do you want to come in? You can have a slice of pizza."

"...sure." He came in slowly, wiping his feet and glancing around. "What's going on in here?"

Lois set down the pizza box. "Hey kiddo, Webby, can you be sure the others wash their hands?" 

"Yes."

 Clark saw a small child rush by the corner of his eye. "So... are you babysitting for a friend?"

"Not quite. You're going to want to sit down for this one, farmboy." Lois warned, with that little glow in her eyes that said she knew something damning.

"Is he your boyfriend?"  Clark turned to see a small blonde girl, standing on her toes to try and look over the table.

"I mean, we are..." 

Lois cut him off. "We haven't put a label on it yet. You want pizza?"

"Okay!" She hopped on the spot a little, she definitely wasn't older than four. Actually, Clark noticed something familiar about her...

"Go wash your hands, Bow."

"That's not my name!" The girl giggled, stumbling off.

"Sit, Clark, or else you're going to fall over and break my counter again when you hear this."

Clark wondered if that was a threat. He sat nervously on one of her chairs. "What is it? What's this story you're talking about?"

The grow in Lois' eyes had almost morphed into a shine. She grabbed a fat manila folder and leaned forward on the table, inches from his face. "There's a Superboy."

Lois' prediction was right, Clark fell over, which is hard to do while sitting down.

"What?!"

"I know!" She exclaimed. "Superman has a son. I don't know how he hid it!" The 'from me' went without saying. Despite her on-and-off flirtationship with her coworker, Superman was the primary target of her affections, so how and WHY would he not disclose that? 

"Well, you don't know that it's superman's son." Clark said, still in shock.

"I didn't, at first." She said, intriguingly. "But hold on to your straw hat, farmer, because I have that very Superboy in this apartment." 

"WHAT?"

"I know! And these..." She slung a couple folders at him. "Is his slightly-abridged history according to the Justice League!"

"How did you-"

"Apparently there was a mishap, and they needed someone unaffiliated with the league to watch their sidekicks- they got shrunk down or something- either way, My payment comes in being the first civilian to discover the Superboy."

Clark's face contorted in horror, all the colour draining from his cheeks. "What- Lois, I- I don't think this is a good idea..."

"Well, from the mouth of babes. I can get all the answers I want from a three year old." She told him. "Already he's told me that Superman IS his father, and he was born through an incubation pod. I'll have to ask if that means in vitro fertilization or something else, but Clark! This is something other reporters haven't even conceptualized! And we have so much to sift through!"

"Food!" A small child ran into her legs, toppling Lois over unto Clark's shoulder and the edge of the table.

"I'll put it in the living room for you guys, but no greasy fingers on the couch." She righted herself and peeled the redhead- who Clark now recognized as Wally West- and jogged the pizza box to the next room. Clark adjusted his glasses and faced the wall, praying the kids wouldn't recognize him, especially the ones who knew his ID.

Lois returned quickly and tossed him a file, promptingly. Clark took it- and the highlighter she pitched at him. "What?"

"Well we need to skim these for details!" She opened hers. "I have July through December, you have December to present, and the one on the table is listed as 'pre consciousness, march-July'. We'll do that one next." She uncapped the highlighter wither teeth and got to work.

"I... guess this counts as working time, but I think Perry expects us to be at the office."

"Perry can't do anything against such a good story." She said. "Justice League anything is a seller, and Metropolis will go feral to discover such important Superman news!"

"I guess so..." Clark agreed. The two got to work, listening absently to the children in the next room. 

They worked for about ten minutes when they were interrupted. "Mm?" Lois asked the child gripping her leg. Shortly after, she processed that there was a child trying to get her attention. "Oh, what's up Junior?"

"I'm not 'Junior'. " The kid grumbled, leaning against her. 

"What do you need?"

Superboy grumbled a little. "I don't want to eat with them."

"Why, kid?" She asked, still working busily.
Superboy didn't want to explain, probably because the other kids were giving him trouble. He pushed off the floor and forcefully clambered up onto Lois' lap. She frowned a little. "Oh, okay Junior." He looked up at Clark. "This is our Superboy."

Superboy, dubbed 'junior', looked Clark intently, curiously. Clark broke eye contact uncomfortably. "Uh, hi kid."

Lois snorted, glancing over her page. "Jesus, Clark, Don't tell me you're intimidated by a toddler?" She scoffed, and got back to work. At least, until there was a sudden infant cry from the next room. She groaned. "I'll be right back." She set Superboy on her seat and left the two at the table.

Clark tried not to look at his child clone.

The four year-old leaned forwards, clambering up onto the table. He crawled across to Clark, head tilted in confusion. He raised his hand towards Clark's face, making him quickly flinch back. But not quick enough, as Conner grabbed his glasses.

The kid stared up at him. "Superman." He decided. "Thank you. I like my new shirt."

"N-No-" Clark tried. "Hey sport- can I- can you give my glasses back..." Superboy pulled them away, refusing. Clark didn't know what that meant. "Okay. Look, I need my glasses back..."

"If you gave me this shirt, are you trying to be my daddy now?" The four year old asked hesitantly. 

Clark froze. He didn't get the kid any shirt. 

"O- glasses, please."

Conner refused still. Superman would just put on those glasses and become that weird sweaty guy who was talking to his new friend Lois. He wanted Superman!

"Are you trying to be my dad?" He asked suspiciously. "You got me a shirt!" He said, as if that was the only bar that needed to be met. He probably thought it was.

"Look, I'll- I'll get you ice cream some day soon, if you give my glasses back." Clark haggled, but as Martha Kent's son, he wasn't great at haggling anyone who wasn't a Kansan farmer's market vendor.

"We'll have ice cream? Together?" Clark had his attention, and Conner didn't even like ice cream that much.

"Uh- sure! Just give me my glasses back and we'll make plans." He said sheepishly, reaching for his glasses. 

"But you're my father?"

"...I'll take you out for ice cream."

Conner cautiously handed the glasses over.

Lois walked in, still clutching a slightly fussy Robin. "Everything okay in here?"

"Fine, fine..." Clark explained, picking up his highlighter and pretending to skim through his file.

"We w-"

Clark whispered, slipping into the clones super hearing. "Don't tell Lois or no ice cream."

Conner shut up abruptly, still looking up at Lois. "Okay kid." She told him. "Are you ready to eat with the others?"

Conner looked at Clark, who didn't Look back. He nodded and hopped off the table, startling the adults, and ambled off to see the others. The other kids were watching Blue's Clues and You and chowing on their pizza.

"Superman wants to be my dad. maybe." He told M'gann, astounding his friends, since Conner usually didn't start conversations.

"Really?" She asked, mouthful of cheese. 

Conner nodded. "He gave me a shirt." He held his shirt. "That makes him my dad, right?"

"Superman didn't give you that!" Artemis said. "Roy said he did it. When he got my bow."

Conner frowned. "No! It's from Superman!"

"Nuh uh! Roy got it for you!"

"No! It's from Superman!"

"No!"

Kaldur stepped in, Conner and Artemis had frequent fights. "Conner, can you eat? Black Canary said she wanted you eat and be nice to ms. Lane." He gave Conner a slice of pizza. "Please eat?"

He took a reluctant bite, but it still hurt. Superman DID buy him the shirt! Right?

"Sorry, Lo, my lunch break is over..."

"Clark! I told you, this is the biggest story we'll cover this decade!" Lois followed him out of the kitchen, bouncing Robin on her hip as the baby played contently with fistfuls of her hair.

"Can we work on it after hours? Perry's calling me, I should really head out." 

Wally did his best Dr. Doofenshmirtz impression, making the others giggle. 

"So you're just going to leave me to babysit AND sift through the files?"

"You can save the files until I'm free...?"

"Clark, I CAN'T wait on this! It's important!"

"Okay, I'll take one file and do some work at the office." People-pleaser Clark agreed, fetching a folder. "Okay, I'll catch up later..."

"You're leaving?" Conner asked. He knew it! Superman didn't love him! "No! NO!" He screamed, slamming his fists down. "NO!"

"What?" Lois asked, trying to put Robin down, but he was gripping onto her with all his strength. "What's wrong."

"Superman!" He screamed. "Superman is SUPPOSED to BE MY DADDY!" The tears came, they only ever came because of Clark. He kicked his feet on the ground, pounding his fists. Getting sharply lost in his emotions. "Supe- NO!" He slammed his fists over him ears, falling back on the floor.

"Conner!" M'gann forgot that she wasn't supposed to say their real names, dropping her pizza and grabbing him. He shirked her off, writhing and yelling.

"Stop, Calm down! Just tell me what's wrong!" Kaldur also tried to calm him with no luck.

Conner got out two decipherable words through the tears: " NOT FAIR!"

Now Dick was crying, it was loud! Wally's lip was trembling, he didn't like it when his friends weren't happy, that's why he always made jokes! "Calm down! Stop crying?"

"Junior, kid, please. I want to get my lease back." Lois said. "Can you slow down and explain, and not break my floor?"

Conner stood up, shaking like a leaf, face damp and red. "Superman issupposedtobe my daddy!" He sniffed violently, hiccuping. "He's SO MEAN! He doesn't WANT ME!"

"Should I leave?" Clark asked uncomfortably.

"You probably should. Get lost." Lois said. "Junior, what does Superman do? Why is he mean?" She asked, slmost hungrily.

"He DOESN'T WANT ME!" He screamed. "NO!" He shrieked as Clark timidly closed the door after him. "He didn't-even he even didn't get me a shirt!" He wailed. "He doesn't want to be my daddy..." He whimpered. 

"Oh, He doesn't?" Lois asked sternly, adjusting the crying Robin, shushing and bouncing him softly. "How could he not want you?"

"I just want a daddy." He wiped his eye pathetically. He barely ever cried. He hadn't cried since Superman took his book. Now that he'd remembered that, he was even more upset.

"And Superman doesn't want to be your daddy?" She asked, sounding angry. "Not if I have anything to say about it!" 

"He hates me!" The kid screamed hoarsely. 

"We'll have to fix that!" Lois located a pacifier for Robin, struggling to get it in his mouth. She noticed Wally sniffling silently, tucked behind the sofa. "Kid? shh, calm down." She told Wally. "I need you calm to... take care of Robin!" 

"Really?" He sniffed.

"Yep!" She passed him the baby. "Webby is in charge while I handle this!"

"What are you doing?" He asked. 

She pet Conner's head and strode to the window, pulling off her heels. She slid the window out. "I'm going to fall! Help!" She screamed, and climbed onto the sill, throwing herself out.

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Lois was about eighteen feet from the ground when she was caught. "What took you so long?"

"Mrs. Lane, are you alright?" Superman asked, though there was something nervous in his demeanour.

"Put me on that roof. I need to talk to you."

"Shouldn't I put you on your building? You can't get down from that building."

"I don't care. The brat might have super hearing." She said with arms crossed. Superman said nothing, setting her down.

"Well, Mrs. Lane." He said nervously. "Duty calls..."

"Oh no." Lois said. "Get down here and let me talk to you." Superman nervously lowered himself to the rooftop, already looking uncomfortable. Lois did not feel sympathetic. "You have a son?"

"I don't understand what you-"

"Cut it." She said. "You have a little boy, six-months-old. He lives ALONE, unsupervised."

"I don't-"

"Yes you do." Lois said. "Superboy."

Superman sighed, he knew he couldn't worm his way out of this. "Superboy isn't my son. He's a clone." He almost added 'you know that, it's in the file!', but stopped at the last minute. "He was created to kill me..." He decided to mention an extra detail that they weren't usually allowed to say. "...by lex luthor."

Lois hesitated for a second, but got over it quickly. "Explain EVERYTHING."

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Usually, the only pretend game Conner would play was Justice League: Artemis was green arrow, Kaldur was Aquaman, Wally was Flash, M'gann was Martian Manhunter, Dick was Batman (who didn't talk or run around or jump), and Conner was Superman.

But Conner didn't want to play superman today.

"Come on! Just play." Artemis pleaded.

"No!"

"But the Justice League NEEDS Superman!" Wally whined.

"No! I don't want be Superman! I won't play!"

"You could play someone else." Kaldur suggested.

Conner looked confused. "Really?"

Wally was also confused. "But Conner's ALWAYS Superman! It makes sense!"

"Who could I play?" Conner asked.

"You could be Black Canary." M'gann said, bouncing about. "Or WonderWoman."

Conner frowned. "But I'm a boy!"

"And Batman isn't really a baby." Kaldur explained. Conner supposed this might make sense. "Do you want to play?"

"I could be Wonder Woman..." He relented. "Wonder Woman is very strong too."

"And she has black hair." Artemis added.

So it was settled.

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"Luthor tried to clone me, the clone was supposed to kill and replace me. To serve Luthor." He muttered. "But the league's sidekicks rebelled, and managed to steal him from Luthor before the end of his gestation..."

"Has he tried to kill you?"

"Well, no, but-"

"So, He's just your six-month-old son, who hasn't tried to hurt you at all?"

"Well, he has the body of a sixteen year old, normally."

"Normally?" Lois ordered. "So you know that he's been deaged? You know that you have a three-to-four year old boy, with the experience of an infant, and no parents. And you continue not to talk to him? Is the toddler going to kill and replace you?

"Of course He won't! He's too busy sucking his thumb, or needing help in the bathroom, or colouring that stupid little S on your chest." She prodded Superman right in the middle of the El family crest. "He is a child. He's a baby! You should be ashamed of yourself!"

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M'gann, despite Kaldur's worries, had crawled through the bathroom cabinets until she found what she needed. "Got it!" She said, approaching Her friends, Artemis was demonstrating how you could cramp your hand and slide it into an empty toilet roll. "Hold still!" She stuck out her tongue, working hard. "There! You're Wonder Woman!"

She let go of Conner's face, neatly christened with bright red lipstick. She admired the cardboard wristlets they'd constructed, and the shirt that Kaldur had turned inside out to hide the symbol. It was one of his huge black shirts, he didn't want the blue one anymore.

"Batman's ready." Wally reported, assisting the one-year-old to 'walk' around the room. Though it was generally accepted that Wally West Shouldn't be trusted with so much as a houseplant, little Wally West was surprisingly good with little Robin. He volunteered to help change him, and he'd always take it upon himself to locate a dropped pacifier or toy.

"Then lets play!" Artemis exclaimed, leading the way back to the livingroom, and rather taking charge. "That is the big table, and that's the big computer screen, and this is Batman's chair!" She stated, taking Robin, and setting him on a sofa cushion, though he didn't stay still for long. He was like that.

"And I'm Wonder Woman." Conner said.

"Right." She said. "He's Wonder Woman!"

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"Ms. Lane, Superboy is more of a league responsibility. They're still ensuring that he wasn't conditioned as a sleeper agent."

"For crying out loud, it's been half a year! At the moment, he isn't even able to refill his own sippycup! And I still hear that poor boy crying about you abandoning him!" Lois noticed that Superman wasn't asking how she heard him crying, which meant Superman knew she was babysitting the leagues kids (including the son he hid from her) and didn't even swing by ahead of time to explain himself. That made Lois angrier. "He is your son! Even if you didn't want him, you have to love him, it's your job!"

"Lo- mrs. lane..."

"No. Don't talk to me. Take me back down to my apartment complex, and then fuck off to wherever you go when you aren't making situations worse."

Superman didn't dare say another word, he let her grab him, and returned her to her building's roof in silence. She didn't dignify him with a goodbye, simply letting go, and striding inside through the door to the stairwell.

She traveled down a few flights, very glad That she hadn't locked the doors after Clark left. So Lois, mentally exhausted from telling off the man she usually liked, and physically exhausted from the stairs, pushed the door open. The kids hadn't killed themselves, or made too much if a mess in her absence, which was good.

"You're back!" Kid exclaimed.

Bow looked up from playfighting. "Why'd you jump out ther window?" She asked. "I thought You died."

"Glad to know I'd be missed..." Lois murmured to herself. "Everyone have their pizza?"

"Uh huh!"

"Birdie clean?"

"Uh huh!"

"Great." She said. Lois was tired, maybe shed just just watch a movie with them tonight. "Whatcha doing?"

"We're playing Justice League." Webby explained.

"Really?" She asked, sitting on the couch. She was taken by a strange calm now that she'd dealt with superman. "Are you all playing as your heroes?"

Missy nodded. "'Cept him. He's Wonder Woman because Superman's mean." She reported, pointing at Junior.

Lois felt horrible that he didn't want to play Superman anymore, so she couldn't explain why she was smiling. "Hello Wonder Woman. I don't mind, but please ask before using my lipstick."

Junior tilted his head. "You weren't here."

Lois sighed a little. "It's okay, I dont wear that shade. I only got it because I was running late to an event." She watched them go on playing for a few minutes. It was like watching a school play, they must all know their heroes very well. "Do you need anyone else in your game?"

Kid looked up. "We need a bad guy, but we don't know it its Lex Luthor, Brainiac, or Darkseid yet."

"I know Lex Luthor."

"No!" Junior shouted. Webby caught his shoulders to calm him.

"You could be Count Vertigo, or cpt. Cold..." Bow started listing bad guys and their powers. Eventually, they decided she would be Tuppence Terror, because her southern accent made them laugh. It was the voice she always used when mocking Clark.

Superboy and missy loved it, they kept chirping in with their own tommy and tuppence terror impressions. Lois almost completely forgot about her exhaustion. Superman could stuff it. She was having fun!

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"I'm not a girl!" Miss Martian giggled. "I'M A MARTIAN!"

"You're not a girl martian?" Lois asked, amused.

"I AM A DANGEROUS MARTIAN!"

Lois grinned, patting their head. "Where'd the name miss martian come from, then?"

The kid shrugged. "Don't remember. Everyone calls me she, and that's okay, but I also like They." They drove a toy truck into the bottom of the couch, miming a violent explosion. "The truck is dead. Now it's a ghost truck."

"Ghost truck, huh?" She asked.

"Yep! Ghost trucks make this noise." She pushed the car across the floor. "Nyooooooommmm!"

"I wanna ghost truck too!" Kid exclaimed, clutching his hot wheel car.

"Okay, but your truck has to die first."

The redhead looked down at his car, deliberating with all the emotional investment a three year old can have. "I can't."

"He can be a living ghost truck!" The martian settled.

"She, not he!" Wally exclaimed.

"Okay! She can be a living ghost truck." They said. "Let's race to the fire house."

Lois knew these were shrunk down teenagers, but the level of acceptance they displayed for each other was so sweet. Considering she'd gotten death threats for just putting the word 'transgender' in an article, these were certainly the children of the future.

Superboy was curled up next to her, on her phone. He'd long ditched his wonder woman garb, say for the cardboard cuffs; he seemed to like those.He was watching a Land Before Time movie on her phone.

"You enjoying the show?"

"Uh huh." He replied. "I saw one of this when M'g- miss martian and me are up late."

"Are you up late a lot?" The boy nodded, and went over their average day, about nineteen hours, which included: school, ms. Martian's cheerleading practice, combat training, a mission, debriefing, and early morning unfinished homework. "Do you ever sleep?"

He shrugged, eyes glued to her phone, cuddling up to her. She reached over and fluffed the kid's hair, he soaked up her affection like a dry sponge.

Artemis took a break from playing cars, crawling up next to Lois. "Are you a hero?"

"Not exactly. I'm a reporter." She commented.

"Like, at a newspaper?"

"Yep, can I ask you a question now?" Can you blame her? No normal reporter could resist the temptation. The blonde nodded. "Why isn't speedy part of your little league?"

"TEAM, not little league." She said. "He thinks He's too old and cool." She said moodily. "My turn! What's your favourite dino?"

Now thats a question Lois hadn't been asked since she was about five. "Uh, brontosaurus?"

Artemis nodded seriously. "I like triceratops."

"No! T-rex!" Kid exclaimed, giving a huge roar.

"My turn, how do you know the justice league?"

Artemis went to answer, but Aqualad grabbed her arm. "Artemis, we can't say." He said shyly, looking nervous.

"Hey, I won't tell." That was a lie, she had to be more specific. "I won't tell anything about your secret identities."

"green arrow is my uncle!" The three year old said. "But also my dad sometimes."

"Really?"

"Uh huh."

"Flash is my uncle too." Kid said. "But he also pretends to be my dad sometimes."

"Martian Manhunter is my uncle too!" Missy exclaimed, driving her car into the redheads. "Nyooom! Your car is also a ghost too now!"

"No! I'm bringing to live again!"

"Aw! Okay, live ghost..." they relented.

"Is aquaman your uncle too?" Lois asked. She almost hoped so, so that she could have a kitschy title about not letting your siblings babysit.

Webby shook his head, blushing at the idea of being closely related to his mentor. "He is my king."

"Really? How do you know him?"

"our turn to ask questions!" Kid said, nyooooming his car across the floor. "Are you dating Superman?"

"No. Not at all." She said definitively.

Lois was about to ask another question when she heard Robin whine, tugging her leg. She picked him up, bouncing the boy a little. However, He didn't calm. Lois checked, and he didn't Need to be changed. She'd fed him recently, and he'd slept for an hour straight while they were playing Justice League...

She struggled up from the couch and fetched his instruction pages to seek guidance. The baby clung to her, mumbling softly, about to cry. She shushed him desperately, bouncing the little hatchling.

"...daddy..." he murmured pathetically as the whining started. His tiny body jolted, and he let out an eardrum wrenching cry.

Lois jostled his head off her shoulder, wincing in pain. She desperately flipped through the pages. He wanted his father, was that batman? Or someone else?

The child was now screaming his head off, fussing and fretting. She struggled to hold him still while flipping through the pages. Finally, she found a phone number. She dialled it without a second thought.

"Hello?" Whoa. That voice was familiar...

"Uh, hi? This is —me." She decided not to say her name, because this was weird and embarrassing and if this voice didn't share his name, she wouldn't either! "This number's on the list, the kid's freaking out."

"But him on the phone."

"He's. A baby?"

"Just give the phone to him and get back to the others."

A lightbulb went off over Lois' head. There's NO WAY. "Bruce Wayne?"

"...What?"

"Nevermind. I won't listen, just calm the kid!" She set Robin on the floor and gave him the phone, she considered putting the phone on speaker, but she didn't want this person (Maybe Bruce Wayne?) to know about the shouting kids in the next room. The baby Robing intelligently raised the phone to his ear. Lois prayed he wouldn't throw or break her phone, and jogged back to the living room.

"Can we have a movie tonight?" Missy asked, racing her car down a hill she'd made out of some of Lois' books.

"Uh, sure thing."

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Dinner was left over pizza, the kids didn't mind at all. Lois chose a movie at random, which ended up being the Muppet Movie, she thought it'd be a nightmare, but it was a lot funnier than she expected. Plus, the kids were entertained, so that's good.

Luckily, the kids' energy all day had burned them out, they were fast asleep by nine; draped over the floor, couch, Lois, basically anywhere they could get themselves. Carefully, Lois removed snoozing children from herself and snuck to the kitchen, flipping through to the bedtime pages of her instructions.

She followed to a tee, which included getting the kids to brush their teeth, while doing this, she pulled one kid aside.

"Hey Junior, this says you're supposed to put one of these on." She said, passing the boy a night-time pullup.

He looked up at her with those blue puppy eyes she once associated with justice, but now associated with cowardice. "No."

"I dunno what to tell you, kid; it says you need to."

Almost immediately, the kid teared up. "Black Canary told?" Instantly, the kid was crying like a baby. "She- she said she wouldn't tell!"

"Hey, calm down, kiddo." She lowered herself to crouch next to him. "Don't worry. Like, two of your friends wear em, and then there's Robin- don't worry!"

He sniffed a little. "You will not tell, right?"

"I promise." She told him. "Git to it, kiddo, it's late." He nodded and scurried off. Next, Lois located the waterbaby she'd gradually found to be a favorite of hers. "You dry kid? Have a drink and let me know if you feel sick."

"Okay. Thank you." He said politely.

She smiled and pet his head. "Okay, round up your pals, it's bedtime."

With no baby bedrooms, Lois cleared a spot for herself, and settled on the couch. She didn't expect children to crawl up and snuggle against her, trapping Lois on the sofa until she, too, fell asleep.