~

Luffy bit his lips, impatient and anxious, fingers itching to just touch Law's hands to comfort himself but Penguin and Shachi and Bepo had told him that it was best to not hold Law's hands with all the needles and machines attached to him.

It had been two days and Law was still unconscious.

Garp and Sengoku had made sure everyone had left the marine facility safely before wreaking havoc on the struggling Akainu. The doctors among the Hearts stole an ambulance immediately and went to work with hooking Law up on the machines to keep him under observation till they arrived in Flevance. Luffy couldn't do much except carry some things and get in the way of the three doctors running to and from Law's bed and the entire infirmary in their building. They didn't even answer any questions the younger had, Luffy didn't blame them, they must have been worried about Law too and being responsible for his well-being as they were, they were bound to be in a much worse boat than Luffy.

After the first few hours, the three doctors had allowed the rest of the Hearts and Luffy in the infirmary but only for short periods of time and touching was strictly prohibited. While Law's friends were moving about him, Luffy took that time to answer the calls from Nami and Bellemere-san and Kemurin and Chopper and Ace and Sabo – Luffy was so grateful that everyone thought of Law at least enough to inquire about him.

When the Hearts had resumed their routines, Luffy was left all alone in the building so he spent all of his time in the chair beside Law's bed, just staring at the older, urging him with his eyes to wake up. Penguin had said Law was fine and he would wake up soon but when two hours turned into two days, Luffy's worries increased.

"You really should sleep in a bed." Shachi commented taking Law's board from the side of the table and writing things down on it, it was the redhead's rotation of monitoring his friend.

"Can't." Luffy stated simply.

"Want me to join another bed with Law's so you can sleep?"

"You can do that?" Luffy thought the older was joking.

"I can but when Law wakes up, you are going to have to answer him about the arrangement." Shachi put the board back and changed Law's IVs.

"I'll say it was my idea."

"Ok then, move your chair."

Luffy moved his chair out of the way and Shachi wheeled the next bed over right next to Law's and pushed the railing down. The younger quickly went to his room and got his pillows and blankets, then went to Law's room and got his blankets as well. Shachi quirked an eyebrow at the number of things in the younger's arms when he got back.

"Sometimes Torao likes familiar things around him, like a nest."

"Neurodivergent nesting..." Shachi hummed. "Makes sense."

"It might help him wake up sooner too." Luffy said putting all the things on his bed and carefully draping Law's blanket on him, surrounding him with his familiar pillows, putting Law's hat close to the older's head as well, next to his own strawhat.

"Listen, Luffy..." The redhead started and gathered the younger's attention. "When Law wakes up... it's something we all decided, when he wakes up, we want you take him away from Flevance."

"Forever?" Luffy asked, confused.

"If that's possible."

"But Flevance is Torao's home."

"It really isn't home like this... besides, home is where the heart is."

"Where is Torao's heart?"

"You are his heart." Shachi smiled and ruffled the boy's hair, helping him adjust in the bed at the proper distance to avoid getting accidentally tangled in Law's tubes and wires.

"So are you guys." Luffy said with furrowed brows. "I won't take Torao away forever, that's Torao's choice."

"All of this only happened because he was helping that girl and some idiot nurse told on him. These people aren't his home, this city isn't his home."

"It's still Torao's choice."

"Fine." Shachi rolled his eyes. "Now try to sleep and please be careful of the machines."

"Nishishi, thanks, imma try to sleep."

~

Law's chest aching was the first thing the doctor could understand when his mind started waking up. Next came the itching that could only be brought through the stickers of cardiac care machines. Law didn't know how much time had passed since he was last conscious but he completely remembered the events leading up to his current state. With a loud groan, the young adult opened his eyes. His brain was waking up a little too quickly for his liking.

The next ache Law noticed was in his back, and that gave him an idea of how long he was out. The surgeon immediately wanted to move and upon doing so, found out that another bed was joined with his and Luffy was sleeping peacefully really close to him. The sight confused Law for a moment before it registered that it was indeed Luffy who was there, curled up all carefully, probably to avoid having an accident with the many IVs and tubes Law noticed next he was attached to.

Following the line of sight, Law's eyes adjusted to the blanket and pillows he was surrounded by, his own stuff, his own hat. The older wondered if Luffy did that or it was someone else. Law didn't give himself much time to think, he wanted to get out of the bed and move, his skin was prickling all over from being stuck in one place for who knew how long and not knowing was making Law anxious and pushing him very close to a meltdown. In order to avoid the worst from happening, the doctor quickly found the call button and tapped on it with a frequency that made all three of his doctor friends rush to the infirmary.

"Good, all three of you are here. Make these go away." Law said as soon as he was sure the three could hear him but his friends only stared, Bepo even had tears in his eyes. "Now would be nice! I want to get out of here."

"Aye aye!" Bepo was the first to move, his fur standing up in recognition that Law was very close to a meltdown and to avoid that it was best to remove all the machines and IVs from his captain like he wanted, to let him walk out of the infirmary.

Shachi brought the walker while Penguin and Bepo removed any and all machines and catheters and IVs, putting band-aids in places they were necessary. The two made sure to keep the touching to a minimum and hurried when they saw that Law's ears had started to turn red, it was a huge sign that the edge was close.

"Ok, go." Shachi said putting the walker on the side of Law's bed, within reach. All three of the Hearts stepped away from Law to let the older get up, they kept an eye and were ready to take action if there was any need but as impatient as Law was to get out of bed, he was careful in his movements too, to not accidentally pull a muscle or fall.

"No cigarettes for a while!" Penguin called as Law walked out of the infirmary, his entire air telling his friends to not follow him.

Law first walked to his room and changed into comfortable pajamas and a hoodie, taking deliberate steps to avoid looking at himself either through his own eyes or his reflection in the windows or mirrors. After grabbing his headphones and mp3 player, the surgeon went to the living room and just sat on the couch for a while, not wanting to go back to the infirmary or look at his own patient board and deal with whatever else that had happened to him.

Blasting music in his ears always helped Law calm down when he knew he was either having panic attacks or meltdowns, and it sure helped now too. Law scrunched his nose when his sinuses started tingling because his mental state wanted him to cry to relieve burden but crying was a physiological impossibility at the moment, again. The doctor itched around his nose and forehead to dispel the tingling and breathed calculated breaths to start the path of calming down. Law closed his eyes and let the time pass around him and through him and it was some five songs later that he was ok enough to open his eyes again.

Law hadn't expected it from the quiet and lack of additional noise around him when he had his eyes closed and headphones on but when he opened them, he saw all of his friends hiding behind the couch and each other or Bepo. Sighing, Law put his headphones aside and looked at every one of his friends.

"I'm sorry you guys got dragged in my mess." Law said and jumped in his place when the reaction from his nakama was instantaneous and loud.

"Wha?!"

"Outrageous!"

"Captain don't say that!"

"We are glad you're ok!"

"We will kill anyone for you!"

"Your problems are our problems!"

"We were so worried!"

"We are so glad you're ok!"

"If Luffy hadn't punched that bastard, I would have!" Bepo's words shocked everyone into silence. Then Law laughed a little.

"It's not going to be a problem anymore... I think, so you guys can relax."

"Too late, we already have our guard up." Penguin said shrugging.

"That's your problem." Law stuck his tongue out then took a deep breath and tried his best to smile with the hurt still fresh in his brain. "Also... thank you."

If the Hearts were loud before, there were downright chaotic and warranting noise complaints now with their bawling and high pitched screams of thanks to whatever it was that watched over Law so that he was safe.

When Law's friends had stopped being dramatic, Law actually went back to the infirmary, Luffy had miraculously slept through all the noise in the building. Shachi had accompanied Law back to answer his questions and to have another checkup before he let Law eat and sleep.

"You heart's very weak now, Law." Shachi deadpanned, not seeing enough merit in keeping it from the best of the best cardiology experts the redhead had the good fortune of knowing.

"It wasn't that good to begin with."

"Yeah but sustaining two cardiac arrests in just one year, you have to more careful from now on."

"I can't control my circumstances."

"I'm not talking about that, just no cigarettes, yes to healthy food, proper sleep, exercise, ample water intake, you know the works."

Law pouted. "I haven't been able to do any of that for so long, what makes you think I would be able to start now... idiot."

"You didn't have Luffy before." Shachi jutted his chin towards the sleeping boy. "He's been a good influence, helping you with food and sleep, keeping you on your toes so that's exercise and I'm sure you are the one reminding him about water intake so you must remember that yourself too, dumbass."

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

"I'm not burdening him with my care." Law said in a small voice, a sigh escaping him when he pulled his feet up on the bed he was sitting on while Shachi moved to take blood pressure.

"He's gonna smack you when he hears that." Shachi rolled his eyes. "Let at least someone help you Law."

"I'm sure you know what happened to Cora-san who tried helping me?" Law asked bitterly and frowned more when Shachi didn't answer and pursed his lips instead. "Exactly."

"Well, I'm going to tell Luffy everything so you're the one who has to deal with him when he wants to help. Best make peace with yourself before that."

"I will bury you."

"No you won't." Shachi grinned. "Blood pressure is low, that's normal since you haven't eaten. Your pulse is a bit weak too and well, your heart is going to be a bitch from now on but other than that, you're alive and well." The older patted Law's arm and cleared up the area of machines and tubes. "Musta and Clione are working on some meals Sanji told them about so you can expect something good before you go to bed."

"I don't feel like eating..."

"Too bad, you have to eat."

"Why are you so mean? Are you like this with all your patients?" Law teased but it sounded like whining to the other doctor.

"I'm being you with you, I'm actually a delight with my normal patients."

"I'm that much of a desensitized asshole?" Law asked, faking hurt. "No wonder my patients want to kill me." Law laughed making a terrible pun of the one situation when he was shot in Goa.

"Oh god, the second cardiac arrest made you worse." Shachi groaned and picked up the pace with cleaning the area. Law was quiet for a while then he decided to ask what had been weighing on his mind for a few minutes.

"Do you know what happened to that girl's body?"

"The navy confiscated it, but your grandfather gave her a proper burial when he found out about the entire situation. She's buried on the grounds near the memorial site, the new graveyard."

"First grave there?"

"Yeah."

Law sighed a heavy sigh and got off the bed. Shachi was going to inquire where Law was going but he was waved silent when Law left but came back a few minutes later with his phone in his hands and got back in bed.

"Call me when food's done." Law said and the redhead took it as his cue to leave.

"Sure thing boss."

A few hours later Law was still in bed and bored out of his mind with being confined in the infirmary until his three doctor friends told him it was ok to leave. Luffy was still asleep and so soundly at that that Law began to wonder how long the younger had went without sleep to be like that but he didn't have to dwell on that for much longer when the object of his thoughts opened his eyes.

Law watched as Luffy looked at Law through blurry eyes, realization slowly making them shine. "Do not jump on me, my chest is still aching and my arms and legs are very tired." Law warned making his boyfriend pout. "And before you ask and this gets weird, yes I am ok and fine and alright and whatever other words are uttered to express stability of emotional, physiological and mental well-being."

"You're lying but that's ok for now, at least you're awake." Luffy countered with a smile, letting the older know that he didn't believe him for a second.

"Think whatever you want, it's your problem now since you didn't leave me there." Law stuck his tongue out, very teasingly jabbing a finger in Luffy's shoulder.

"Ok sir, I take responsibility." The younger answered in kind.

Law shook his head and pulled his blanket tighter around his shoulders, pulling his feet inside the cocoon, and slid down more so he was on eye level with Luffy. "Did you knowingly put my blankets and pillows here?"

"Yeah, you like being around familiar stuff, so I thought it might help you wake up sooner." Luffy explained.

"Excellently perceived, and correctly too."

"You know you are allowed to be sad, right?" Luffy said suddenly, off topic, because he couldn't bear the look in Law's eyes contradicting so loudly with the non-serious behavior his boyfriend was exhibiting.

"I know." Law said then quickly got out of bed before Luffy continued on the same lien of conversation. "I'm going to go eat something, come with me."

Luffy left the blanket and the bed in the span of one second because firstly, there would be food, and secondly, Luffy wanted to keep an eye on Law, the older was being very cooperative and normal for someone who went through something as Law did. The younger didn't let Law's attempts of dismissing the conversation deter his efforts of getting a few answers to things that had been bothering Luffy since they got Law back, so once the two were back in the infirmary beds and left alone for the time being, Luffy tried again.

"Torao, if we had been late or unable to help, were you really going to let them kill you?" Luffy asked and grabbed Law's arm to keep him from turning away, letting the older know he would have to answer one way or another.

"None of that happened so what's the point."

"Answer the question."

Law didn't like the way the air around Luffy made him choke a little, demanded answers to be said so the younger would be satisfied. Rolling his eyes, Law decided he would answer and put all this behind him. "Yes. I was going to let them kill me."

"W-"

"With that girl's death, I am literally the last person with the original Flevance blood, that stained blood and DNA and I finally had the chance to end it with me, why would I have let it go?" Law scoffed.

"You wanted to die?"

"Yes."

"You don't wanna live? Even for us?"

"You think any of you are enough to keep me from wanting to die? Physically probably, but when I have these thoughts going through my head and a fail-safe opportunity in front of me, no bond is strong enough to keep me from taking that leap. And why would I want to live for someone? People have shown and proven themselves to be very expandable and perishable at a moment's notice so why would I give up a chance at peace and calming darkness for some human who is going to die too later on anyway?" Law shrugged in the end then as soon as his words registered, he closed his eyes and bit his tongue, he had spoken too much and truthfully at that.

But Luffy never judged. "I don't blame you for thinking like that. I still don't know your whole story and that's ok, but that I do know, it's not easy to live with that."

"You're insane." Law shook his head in disbelief. "Everyone just scolds me or yells at me or reprimands me when they find out about my deathwishes, they tell me to think straight and positive and here you are, accepting it all so easily."

"But that's how I know to get to you, use the same flow that you're using."

Law quirked an eyebrow. "Flow?"

"Yeah flow. When you're talking, I can see a flow, like a path your energy is travelling to and from, so I use that same path because it goes to you." Luffy explained with an excessive flapping of hands.

"I don't get it but ok."

Luffy was quiet for a moment, looking here and there, then he looked back at Law. "Do you wanna die now? Like in right now?"

Law was going to be snappy because that was his usual tone of response to these questions but Luffy wasn't teasing or taunting, Law saw innocence in his eyes. "I don't. I feel ok right now, but only right now." Law slid and laid down, using Luffy's shoulder as his pillow. "I can't say anything about the next minute or the next hour or tomorrow or the entire future that is not right now."

"It's ok Torao." Luffy patted Law's back and kissed the top of his head which made the older curl up in the smaller body more. "It's ok."

The boys were quiet for long hours in the night, neither being able to sleep, the ticking of the clock too loud in the silence they shared with the darkness and the filtering moon light. Then Law spoke and asked a brave question that the few months younger Law would never be able to.

"Can I stay with you in Goa when I am allowed to leave the infirmary?"

To Luffy, no explanations were necessary, he could sense the discomfort and unease in the air around Law all through the hours they were awake together in the bed. The younger knew it wasn't easy for Law to admit he needed help and it was even more of a feat for the older to have confided and ask for help regarding that. To Luffy, it was an immediate, "yes."

~