William H. Bonney stared across the distance, shock washing over his features. What just happened? The dark rider had been riding at a decent pace towards them. He hadn't meant to shoot, at least not until he knew exactly who it was. If it had been the law or one of the Ring, he would have gladly shot them dead. But, he was waiting. Then the voices of Chavez and Charlie rang out startling him. His finger twitched and... "Shit!" He swore under his breath, now slipping his guns back into their holsters. The movement was slow as if he were lost in a bad dream.

"What have you done, Chivato?!" Chavez growled into his ear, a mixture of anger and worry edging his voice. "If you killed her..." He left that threat unfinished and hurried forward towards the body laying on the ground in the distance.

Billy couldn't move. He didn't hurt women or children. It was his own creed. He refused to harm a woman, ever, and anyone else who did made his blood boil. After all, his own mother had been dear to him before... He shook his head trying to shake himself out of the daze he had worked himself into. "I didn't mean to..." He began but the only one who heard him was Steve who was still standing back with him.

Charlie was already off, running after Chavez to check on the felled woman.

"God damnit!" The blond swore again and ran a hand through his hair, frustration, and fear fueling him. He knew his bullet couldn't have hit anything vital... but, then again... he wasn't completely sure. If she had moved, or... "Damn!"

"You need to stop beatin' yourself up, Billy," Steve said spitting some tobacco on the ground. "How were you to know? The woman dresses like a goddamn man." He shook his head and gently pushed the other boy forward. "C'mon. Might as well go find out the damage."

But Billy still couldn't move. He hated to admit, that if he had killed her, he never would be able to forgive himself. He stood back as Steve began to head to where the others were, just now reaching the body in the dirt. None of them knew how disturbed he was by his own actions. He had been so angry with her moments before - hurt even, but there was no way he would ever admit to that. She had left them, hadn't she? Why was she there now? Why did she come back? Maybe she should have stayed away because then he wouldn't have... Damn, being angry was so much easier... Now, he just felt... sick. Normally he was so sure of everything. Knew exactly what he wanted. And now... he felt suddenly lost, in a fog, he couldn't pull himself out of. He had a feeling it wasn't just because he had shot a woman, but that he had shot her.

~~~

Breathe. Slow breaths. Slow. Shallow. Breaths.

White-hot pain coursed through her shoulder, and her body ached from falling to the ground from her horse's back. What had happened? Kristal tried to think. She had been riding Midnight, following the trail the other Regulators had left. It had been easy. She could see the tobacco stains that littered the ground here and there, which she was almost certain had been Steve's doing - possibly Charlie too. Didn't they know how to hide a trail? Practically anyone could have followed them... Hopefully the law wasn't skilled in tracking. With any luck they were stupid...

Stop. Focus.

She had been riding, when she saw the figures pop up from a ravine not too far in the distance. She immediately recognized the blond Bonney and the dark-haired Chavez farther back by his horse. Before she could lift her hand or call out to them, to let them know she was a friend, the shot echoed, ringing through the air like one of those damn bells that serve as an alarm, warning people in hearing distance. Only this sound was no alarm, it was ear-splitting, a shatter of pain as a sharp jolt went through her, the force flinging her off Midnight's back.

Damn, son of a bitch.

Now, she was lying in the dirt, too astonished to move. Well, and the fact it hurt too much to move.

Just breathe, Kristal kept thinking to herself.

Slow and steady.

Kristal knew she needed to move. To assess her injury. The bullet was still in her shoulder, she was fairly certain. It was too close to her heart for comfort. The warm trickle of blood slid over her shoulder and down her chest between the curvature of her breasts. It would have tickled if it didn't cause such agonizing pain. Opening her eyes, she stared at the sky noticing the sun was getting close to setting. She was grateful that they had already had dinner because she felt sick. Hell, she may even end up tossing what little she had managed to swallow before they had been so unceremoniously interrupted by Roberts.

Damnit, Starr. Focus.

Resting on her back, Kristal didn't know how long she had been lying there unmoving. Her hat had flown off her head somewhere in the fall. She needed to find her hat. She liked that hat. It held meaning and there wasn't much in the world that truly meant something to her.

Damn. Focusing was so hard.

It hurt to breathe. She tried to shift slightly, feeling a rock or something digging into her back, but the sudden sharp sting of pain made her stop.

I need to move, the blonde thought miserably but no matter how much she willed herself into motion, her body refused to cooperate. Without warning a shadow stood over her and she saw the concerned features of Chavez. She stared at the man, his hair falling around his face, dark locks blowing in the cool breeze. She was relieved to see him and part of her was thankful that it was him who had come to her aid and not that damn annoying Bonney.

"Chiquita?" The Mexican-Indian's voice queried above her. "Kristal..." he quickly added in a whisper, dropping to his knees beside her.

"Chavez! Is she... please tell me she ain't..." Charlie's voice called out and he soon entered her vision as well.

"I ain't dead..." Kristal managed to spit out, her voice filled with the agony she felt. First the bullet from that asshole Roberts, now this. Only, this one hurt a hell of a lot more than the one that ripped through her side.

The relief that washed over both the boy's faces relaxed their features. They had been worried, still were, but knowing she was alive put their minds and hearts at ease.

"I was so worried... I thought you were..." Charlie added his voice trailing off.

"Feel like it," Kristal said and coughed a little. Just that little movement sent waves of pain through her. "A little more ta the right an' I would'a been."

The shadowed features of Chavez tilted into a frown. "That's something to be thankful for." If she had died... If they had lost her too... Damn, he didn't want to think along those lines. It had been different when they thought she had left back at the homestead dealing with Roberts. She had been just fine before she disappeared. But now, one of their own had shot her, and she certainly did not look like she was doing well.

"Is it?" The blonde grumbled, tilting her head slightly to Chavez. "All I know... I'm gonna... kill... whoever the fuck... shot me." Kristal growled, through clenched teeth and once again tried to sit up. She inhaled sharply as the sharp stabbing pain from the bullet, still lodged in her shoulder, sent shockwaves through her.

"That'd... be me..." Billy's voice came from behind Steve, as both boys approached, out of breath from running to her. He sounded upset, shameful, almost depressed.

Both Chavez and Charlie immediately moved to help her sit up noticing her struggle, the woman wincing and hissing the entire time. Emerald eyes lifted to the blond boy, sparking with that familiar fire they were all used to, only it was slightly clouded with pain as well. "You?" Kristal practically spat with contempt, "why the hell...?" The woman paused taking deep breaths, her right hand going to her left shoulder as she sat.

"Didn't know it was you..." Billy began in defense, though his voice was weak. He couldn't blame this on anyone but himself. "Thought you were long gone... you disappeared back there. Didn't think we'd ever see you again." His voice was low, filled with despair and a hint of pain thinking she had left them. "I didn't mean to shoot, though. Not till... I knew. But... I startled and... it was an accident, Kris... I'm so sorry..."

A muscle in Kristal's jaw clenched and silence filled the air as Billy's words trailed off. She was angry and hurting physically. But knowing he thought she left them... That they'd never see her again... Did they all think that? Did she really seem like the disloyal sort? A coward to turn tail when things got too rough? Now it wasn't just physical pain she felt, her heart ached like nothing she had ever felt before. "Y'all thought... I left ya?" Her tone was softer, saddened that they apparently thought so little of her. The betrayal she felt hurt more than she thought it would.

"Well..." Began Charlie, lowering his eyes to the ground appearing ashamed.

Steve nodded behind Billy, not at all bothered by admitting the truth.

"Not that we could blame you, Chiquita. With your bounty and what that man wanted to do..." Chavez began feeling a bit guilty and it showed on his tan face.

"Yeah..." Charlie added, "he killed Dick and shot Chavez and Doc. Probably better you got outta there. You could have been hurt or... killed too."

Tilting her head to Charlie, she gave him a sour look, her features darkening even though her shoulder felt like someone poured burning embers over her chest. "Could'a been killed jus' now too, since y'all thought I abandoned ya. Hell, in case ya haven't noticed, I was shot! By one o' m' own..." Her voice grew a little stronger, yet the sarcasm that dripped acid made each of them flinch feeling like she had slapped them. It was easier to be angry than letting the heartache get to her.

Kristal moved to stand, feeling helpless just sitting on the ground. Both Chavez and Charlie tried to help her again, but this time she waved them off. "I don't need yer help... don't fuckin' touch me!" Her anger was brimming to the surface and her eyes stung with what she knew to be angry tears. Damn them all! They all thought so damn little of her, maybe she should have left. This was why she was guarded, kept a wall around her heart so she didn't get hurt. And somehow, that wall had started to crumble. How foolish could she be?

What hurt the most, was that she had never even given them a reason to doubt her. She had been there for them, through it all, and they simply thought she would leave them high and dry? Was it because she was an outlaw? Or because she was a woman? Or was it something else? Either way, it affected her more than she wanted to admit or even deal with at the moment. Maybe she should start building that wall around her heart back up. The ache in her heart would go away then, wouldn't it? Kristal's gaze then shifted over the boys and she realized Doc wasn't with them. "Where's Scurlock?" Her tone was dry, without emotion and each of the boys caught it.

"Um... he went to Patricio. To get clean bandages for his hand and to... uh, write Dick's mother." Steve explained still behind Billy, off-put by the woman's reaction.

Kristal merely nodded, her stance wavering a little now that she was on her feet and whistled for Midnight. Her hand was still clutching her shoulder as the horse approached nodding his dark mane as he came close. Turning away from the boys, Kristal focused her attention on her mustang. She couldn't look at any of them. Her emotions were on the brink of spilling over and if she weren't careful she knew she'd lash out.

"I didn't leave..." The woman began, her tone cold, but it was said so softly the boys had to lean in to hear her. "I went 'round behind the damned outhouse. Was gonna try an' get Roberts from behind... then Dick... Dick had to... He got..." Her voice trailed off unable to even speak the words out loud. It was so definitive and she didn't want to think about the absence that Dick's death was going to cause. She paused a moment, to regain some semblance of control of her wayward emotions as well as to steel herself to the sharp pricks of pain clawing their way through her shoulder as well as her chest and arm.

Swallowing, Kristal motioned her head to the hindquarters of her steed. "I killed Roberts... managed to get Dick's body... Figured y'all would want to give him a proper burial." It was said so succinctly that the boys were left staring with their mouths agape.

"You what?" Steve said breaking the silence in complete shock and even awe. And it was damn hard to impress him.

The blonde's head turned to the man, her gaze dark and unreadable. The muscles in her jaw tensed as if she were mulling something over, and she was, but she bit her tongue. After another minute or two of silence, she nodded, "bury him. He deserves it. I couldn't jus' leave him there... He deserves to be buried like Tunstall." Taking her horse's reins she handed them to Chavez, ignoring the boys questioning gaze. "I already said m' goodbyes. I'll follow shortly."

"But..." Charlie started.

"Chiquita..." Chavez added, concern washing over him.

"Go," Kristal stated firmly, closing her eyes. She wanted to be alone anyway. No. She needed to be alone.

"Might as well do as she wants," Steve grumbled and turned to head back to the camp. It was a short trek back and he couldn't help but wonder if the woman would be able to make it there in her condition.

Frowning, Chavez nodded and turned to follow Steve his heart heavy.

Charlie paused, reached his hand out as if to touch her, but then thought better of it. His hand fell to his side and he turned to follow Chavez feeling completely and utterly dejected.

~~~

The only one remaining, Billy eyed her. The darkening skies made her expression hard to read, covered in shadows. His emotions warred inside, wanting to apologize for everything. Shooting her, thinking she had left, hell even getting her involved in all the chaos in the first place. But, he couldn't find his voice. That alone was surprising to him. He never had a problem speaking his mind when he felt like it before. So, why now? What was it about her that made him question everything?

"Why are you still here?" Billy heard her say. She was trying to keep her voice smooth, but he was starting to notice the slight break of emotion in her husky tone. "Ya should go with them... they need ya."

Billy's brows drew together. He was surprised she knew he had stayed since her eyes were still closed. Then again, he shouldn't have been surprised. Kristal was a walking enigma. There was so much about her they didn't know... that he didn't know... that he wished he knew. Shaking his head at his line of thoughts, Billy stepped towards her but paused when her eyes snapped open to glare at him. He was close now, if he wanted he could easily draw her to him - hold her in his arms, comforting her, willing away her pain, protecting her... Wait! What was he thinking?

Pushing that from his mind, he spoke, "and what about you? What do you need?" He shook his head and nodded to her injury - the injury he caused. He didn't feel right just leaving her there. "You need help with that."

The woman scoffed, "that's funny comin' from the man that shot me ta begin with."

Immediately Billy tensed up at her cold tone, his back stiffening. "I said I was..." He then paused realizing he hadn't apologized, at least not out loud. He had several times in his head — hell, he even begged for her forgiveness. But it was never out loud. And he wasn't one to beg. "Damnit... I'm sorry, Kris..." He sounded dejected and he knew it. "I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to hurt ya. I never would..."

"It's funny, I seem ta remember ya promisin' me somethin' similar ta that not too long ago... Back when Tunstall was still..." She couldn't finish, trailing off. He then heard her scoff, "irony at its best I guess."

"I didn't shoot you on purpose. It was an accident. I..."

"Ya thought I wasn't comin' back. That I left... Yeah, I got that. Apparently, y'all think I'm a piece o' chicken shit, out fer only m'self." The woman swore, inhaling sharply which made Billy look at her with concern. "Y'all thought the same as Dick, only he had the guts ta tell me... And apparently regretted it in the end when I was the only one who came for him."

"Wait, Dick was dead... "

"No... He wasn't. He was dyin'. Didn't make it more than a few hours after..." Kristal had to stop, emotion clouding her words

"We thought..." Billy swore and rubbed the back of his neck feeling terrible. Pain gripped his heart. Sure, he and Dick had been at odds, but he didn't want Dick to die. And then there was Kristal, who assumed they all thought the worst of her. And hadn't they? He did. Hell, he had lost everyone he held dear and even those he didn't. His mother, Tunstall, Dick, his step-father abandoned him. He had begun to think she was no better. "Kris, please believe me when I say I'm sorry. I'd do anything... "

The woman lifted her eyes to him, green hues scanning his face. Her emotions were unreadable, which frustrated him. He wanted to know what she was thinking. She stood like that as minutes passed by before she shook her head and moved away from him. She stopped a few feet away and stared at something on the ground.

Brows furrowing again, Billy moved around her, curious as to what she was staring at. A faint smirk twitched at the corner of his lips seeing the item laying on the ground. Her hat. She hadn't moved to grab it and he figured it was because she didn't want to bloody it with her right hand and couldn't pick it up with her left. "Let me..." He retrieved the hat and held it out to her. She merely glared at him like he was stupid. "Ah, yeah, okay then." He added and then stepped towards her setting the Stetson gently on her head. "Perfect," he whispered. And it was perfect. The hat completed her, but it was so much more than that.

When he was done, his blue eyes lowered to her face and he realized how close he was. She was staring at him again. What was she thinking, he wondered. Probably how much she hates you, Bonney, his mind rationalized. That last thought made him take a quick step back and he cleared his throat uncomfortably. He noticed her eyes narrow before she turned once more and headed slowly for the river without a word. He debated on whether to follow her. What if she needed his help after all? He then shook his head. He would probably be the last person she would ask for help from. That notion bothered him. Hell, everything about her bothered him. It wasn't that he was concerned about who and what she was. He was concerned that she might dislike him, hell, hate him would be more accurate he was sure. "Damn..." He muttered and turned away from her to head back to the camp, leaving Kristal alone.

~~~~~

Later that night, the four boys were sitting around the fire. They had decided against waiting for Doc to come back in order to bury Dick - only because they had no idea when that would be. Chavez gave a small eulogy and each of them said a small word of parting and a goodbye before placing a large stone over his makeshift grave. Steve found a large piece of wood that would serve as a gravestone and wrote:

Richard "Dick" Brewer
Feb. 19, 1850 - April 4, 1878
Regulator

Now lounging by the fire, Charlie held a paper in hand and began reading. "The Bird, By Josiah G. Scurlock. Once upon a midnight dreary, as I pondered weak and weary, they came a knocking at my back porch." Charlie shook his head, "ain't very original is he?"

Kristal still hadn't returned and Chavez kept looking out into the darkness worried about her. He would respect her wishes, though, and let her be. Still, he couldn't help but continue to worry about her, out there in the dark, alone. What if something else happened? What if her injury got worse? What if she was unconscious at the river? Or worse, in the river? He took a deep breath, shaking his head to dislodge his unruly thoughts, and fiddled with the grass he was weaving in his hand to pass the time. If she didn't come back soon though, he would check on her, even if it fueled her temper.

"He's been gone an awful long time. I have a feeling he's gonna be makin' a run for it." The curly-haired Charlie continued, tossing Doc's work aside.

Billy looked to Charlie and shook his head a smirk making its way across his face. "Who? Doc? Nah, Doc likes me!"

"What about Starr?" Steve questioned, speaking aloud what was on all their minds. "Think she's comin' back?"

"Course! She ain't about to leave her horse right?" Charlie observed with a curious brow.

"Wouldn't blame her if she did leave. We all have not given her the respect or trust that she deserves." Chavez sighed.

"Hey, not true. I don't give no one the respect they deserve." Steve remarked as if offended by Chavez's statement.

"Don't we know it." Billy chuckled half-heartedly and stood up. The other boys watched him curiously. "I'll be back. Gotta take a piss."

As the man disappeared into the dark, Chavez then stood. He couldn't stand it anymore, he needed to check on Kristal.

"Where you goin' Navajo?" Steve called out. He didn't sound mocking, but his tone wasn't one of simple questioning either. He still thought Chavez was going to leave them.

"I want to make sure Kristal is alright. That okay with you?"

Steve shrugged, "your funeral."

Minutes later, Chavez was nearing the river. The moon was starting to creep up into the sky, but it wasn't much more than a sliver giving little to no light. The longer he was away from the campfire though, the more his eyes adjusted to the darkness. It took him longer than he expected to find where Kristal was sitting, along the river bank. Her shadow was but a silhouette, and his eyes widened as she leaned back. Her figure was slender, a shadow of feminine curves. Was she...?

"Think she's naked?"

The sound of Billy's voice entered Chavez's hearing and he turned surprised he hadn't heard the other boy approach. "What are you doing?" Chavez hissed, not wanting to spook Kristal.

"Same as you apparently. Gawking. Wasn't expecting to find her naked though..."

"Why do you think that she is..."

Billy cut the other boy off pointing at a pile of what appeared to be clothes on a rock a few feet from where Kristal sat. Her boots were sitting neatly next to the clothes. The articles of clothing were bathed in shadow, making it hard to see exactly what was there, but it appeared to be a rather large pile of cloth. "Either she wears a hell of a lot of clothes, or she's naked."

"If that is true, if she sees us, she will skin us." Chavez pointed out, quickly turning his back on the woman to give her the privacy she clearly wanted. Although, he couldn't help but feel relieved knowing she appeared alright. At least she wasn't unconscious on the ground or... in the river.

"You're no fun, Chavez," Billy grumbled, but he knew the Mexican-Indian was right. Kristal would kill them if she saw them and he was already on her bad side. Besides, he may be a vagrant, but he was still a gentleman when it came to women. "Fine! Let's go!" He mumbled and took a step. A twig cracked under his boot and Chavez swore and both boys froze.

"How is it that you were silent in coming over here, but heading back..." Chavez got no further when they heard the resounding hammer click of a revolver.

"Who's out there?" Came Kristal's sharp but husky tone. They could hear the pain behind the veiled strength of her voice.

"Uh... it's just us, Kris. Me an' Chavez." Billy called out.

"Si, solo somos nosotras, Chiquita."

"Why are you two lurkin' around out there? I could'a shot ya."

"Chavez wanted to check and make sure you were okay, Kris."

"An' what? You felt the need to follow?" Kristal asked exasperated. "I'm perfectly fine."

Chavez nodded, still looking away. "Guess, we'll head back then. Right, Chivato?"

"Er... yeah," Billy replied, keeping his gaze off her as well.

"Why the hell are ya both actin' so strange? Well, yer always strange, Bonney, but this is a new one fer you, Chavez." When neither one responded, Kristal frowned in the dark growing impatient. "Out with it. What the hell's goin' on?"

"Well... you see, Chiquita..."

"We didn't want to intrude while you were bathin' or whatever the hell you're doing."

To their surprise, a chuckle escaped Kristal's lips before it was cut short with a soft gasp of pain. "Shit..." They heard Kristal spit out. Both wanted to turn, but wouldn't dare to do it. "I ain't naked. Ya think I'd be talkin' to ya without any clothes on? Thought ya were both smarter'n that." A light then burst forth behind them as Kristal lit a small torch.

Both men turned to find the woman fully dressed, though not with her usual loose button-up shirt and coat. She was wearing a skin-tight camisole that was more frilly than either thought the woman would ever wear. It was low with a v-shaped front. It gave her more cleavage than either had ever seen on her making her more feminine looking than ever. Her pants were rolled up to her knees, showing off strong muscled legs and her hair was dripping wet over her non-injured shoulder. However, the cloth she held to her shoulder was drenched in her blood. Both men gaped at her for a moment in shock. Their eyes then trailed to the pile of clothes. It was just her buttoned shirt and duster coat laying there with her hat, boots, and stockings.

"One could only hope..." Billy finally responded to her question, his voice a mere whisper of disappointment.

Kristal made no motion that she had heard what he said, merely sat back down and pulled the cloth away from her shoulder and knelt down to rinse the blood out in the river. Her gasps made the boys move. "You need help, Chiquita."

"The bullet?" Billy questioned hesitantly.

"It's still in there... I tried..." Her expression said it all. She had failed to dig the bullet out and it was causing her agony.

"Shit," was all the blond man was able to add in response, his gaze going to the bleeding hole in her flesh.

"Chivato, go back to camp and get a needle and thread. I got some in my saddlebag." Chavez announced taking charge. He approached Kristal, shrugging off the pelt he had been using to keep warm. Pulling a small knife from his boot, he approached her noticing that she was watching him with wary eyes that appeared to be hunter green in the firelight. He heard a shuffling sound behind him as Billy moved to do as he requested.

"Will, you let me get the bullet out?" Chavez questioned her, his eyes soft with concern.

"Do I have any other choice?" Kristal stated, the strength in her voice waning. "Guess I can't be too picky... could'a been Bonney offerin'. The irony of that..." At Chavez's slight chuckle, Kristal nodded relenting. "I guess so, Chavez."

"I'll try not to hurt you."

"Don't make promises ya can't keep, darlin'," Kristal stated and her hand tightened around her makeshift torch.

Chavez only smiled thinly now as he approached. The woman tried to lighten things with humor, it was endearing honestly. "If you lay down..." He stopped talking when he saw her shaking her head. "It would make it easier, Chiquita."

"I already bathed..." At Chavez's raised eyebrow, Kristal smirked. "Yeah, y'all missed all the action. Not that ya would'a seen anything. I didn't undress. But I did wash the dirt and shit outta m' hair and off my arms. Cleaned up the blood... I don't like bein' dirty if I can help it."

Chavez chuckled, eyes lingering on her face. "I'm surprised, Chiquita. You don't seem to mind much. But a little dirt and grime?"

"What can I say? I may not dress or act like how a woman should, but I still got my eccentricities."

"I can see that. Not that it's a problem. It makes you seem more... down to earth. Someone might think you are more girl-y than you let on." Chavez said with a smile his eyes going to her frilly camisole, noticing the growing wet spot on the cloth where her hair was dripping before jerking his gaze back up to her wound. He felt his cheeks grow warm with embarrassment.

The woman raised an eyebrow before shaking her head. "Down ta earth? Girlie?" She queried, but he was tight-lipped. "Guess... maybe... I still do like some girlie shit. I got a silver-plated brush I carry in m' saddlebag too. Should'a grabbed it to brush m' hair."

"You amaze me, Chiquita. You act so tough... but I think deep down, you are soft." Chavez commented, using the torches heat to sanitize his knife, before dipping it in the cold stream to cool. "This is going to hurt."

Nodding, Kristal looked away. "Never really had nice things... nothin' was ever really mine growin' up. Then I got m' own weapons an' it was like Christmas! 'Specially when I ain't ever really had Christmas either. The first heist I did, we robbed a stage. The lady..." Kristal stopped to hiss as the knife dug into her shoulder.

Chavez didn't want Kristal to stop talking. He was enjoying listening to her voice, the sound of her reminiscing even if it wasn't exactly a normal childhood, was heartwarming. But, he had to get the bullet out and before the fire went out on the torch the blonde was still holding. "The lady..." Chavez urged, hoping to get her to continue, to push passed the pain and keep her focused on something else.

"The lady was... wealthy..." Kristal managed through clenched teeth fighting back the stinging and burning that went through her upper body. "She had jewels... covered in 'em... dress made o'... silk, I think. Face painted like... one o' those.... actors in them stage plays. Sam took all her... jewelry. Ripped it... right off her. I thought he'd take her.... dress too." Kristal shook her head slowly, speaking in between breaths. "I was told... go through the luggage. Found the... brush. Pretty as could be... All silver with little swirls and paisleys etched into it... Even had the letter K engraved... On the... handle... I slipped it... in m' coat pocket... an' had it ever since. It was one o' the only spoils I gotta keep... from that heist an' that's only... 'cause I kept it hidden."

When she went quiet, Chavez lifted his dark gaze up to her and frowned. Her eyes were closed and a deep frown was lingering over her lips. "How old were you?" He couldn't help but ask half curious and half trying to keep her conscious.

"Fourteen."

"Damn." Sounded Billy's voice from behind Chavez. "You're sentimental about brushes?"

"Shut the hell up, Bonney. Don't act like... ya heard... m' whole damn story."

Billy frowned. He hadn't and he was disappointed that he had missed it. A rare piece into Kristal's history, how lucky of Chavez to hear it. The woman wasn't much of a talker either, so to get her to speak about something that meant something to her was amazing. However, he was still amazed at how she always knew when he was approaching. He couldn't get anything passed her and it made his lips quirk into a fond smile.

"Got it." Chavez finally stated, trying to hide his disappointment at Billy's return, the bullet sliding out from the hole in her shoulder to land in his hand. Looking back up into her face, Chavez was surprised to see her looking at him. The look in her eyes nearly unreadable except for the pain. "Are you okay Chiquita?"

"I will be, thank ya, Chavez. I appreciate yer help."

Her words touched him and he smiled warmly at her, his gaze getting lost in the glow of the fire in her eyes."It is my pleasure, Chiquita. Anytime you need help." Chavez nodded his head and then reached behind him towards Billy, "Chivato, the thread? And needle?"

"No dice, Chavez. I didn't find it." Billy said almost bitterly his smile gone.

"What? It was in there? How could you miss it? She needs the wound closed." The Mexican-Indian didn't want to turn his gaze from Kristal. But Billy's words made him pull his eyes away from her and darken on the blond boy noticing his empty hands.

"Then you go find it."

Swearing, Chavez turned to Kristal with an apologetic look. "Fine." He stood. "I'll be right back. It shouldn't take too long. You'll be okay?" At her nod, he turned back to glare at Billy, wondering how the other boy could have missed it. He had the needle and thread in a small leather pouch. Hell, he had used it when he stitched up his own wound earlier that day. Still, he didn't want to leave Kristal. He was beginning to feel fiercely protective of her. Leaving her with Billy seemed like a terrible idea. The other boy had already shot her, granted it had supposedly been an accident, but when it came to Billy, Chavez couldn't be certain about anything. The blond was chaotic and unpredictable and he knew Kristal's temper easily rose when he was around. He hesitated a moment longer, before finally letting out a sigh and making his way back to the glow of the campfire in the short distance.

****

Billy watched Chavez walk off before turning his eyes on Kristal. She wasn't looking at him. Her eyes were back on the darkness. Was he imagining things or did she seem paler in the firelight? "You don't look so good." He said stating the obvious while moving to where Chavez had been sitting. He was in front of her now, and if he wished, with little effort he could reach out and touch her.

"No shit?" Kristal snapped. "I just had a bullet dug outta m' shoulder an' lost who knows how much blood 'tween yer shot an' the one I got from..." She stopped suddenly, eyes closing, regret furrowing her brow.

"The one you got from?" Billy tried to get her to continue. She was tight-lipped. His brows furrowed not about to let it go. "Roberts shot you didn't he? How?"

"None o' yer business."

"Kris, you tell me right now, or..."

"Or what? There ain't nothin' ya got against me, Bonney. Nor nothin' ya could do ta me. Ya already shot me..."

Billy winced as she brought that back up, but continued on not about to back down. He wanted to know. No, needed to know what she had gone through in their absence. "I'll tell the others and they'll all harass you about it."

Green eyes turned on him, looking him dead in the eye, anger sparking in their depths. "I loathe you, Bonney."

The woman's words struck him hard. Her tone was dark, deadly, and filled with hatred. She had said that to him before, but at that time he didn't much care and her tone had been different — not so dark and malicious. And the look in her eyes, he could tell she meant it. He had already assumed she loathed him but actually hearing her say it the way she did, felt like a punch in the gut. He swallowed realizing a cold hard truth. Here he had assumed she had abandoned them when in reality, it was they that abandoned her. He swore inwardly at this realization, but he couldn't back down."Well?" He somehow managed to get out.

"Fine. Yeah, he shot me. Dirty shot too..." Kristal breathed, missing the trickle of blood slipping down her skin. "I had m' gun against his head, but he also pulled his on me. He fired it as I fired mine. He died, I didn't end o' story."

Frowning, Billy pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and without thinking cleaned the blood trailing down the crevice of her chest. Her gasp surprised him and he lifted his eyes to find her glaring at him. Damn, she really did hate him. And he couldn't blame her. He had shot her albeit on accident. "And somehow, you still brought Dick to us..."

"I did." The woman's tone was harsh as she cut him off. "Thought he was dead too, ya know. I didn't want him jus' layin' there without... a proper burial. He deserved... that much... an' more... So, I went an' checked ta see if his heart was still beatin'... he was still breathin', but barely. I knew... he wouldn't last. His wound was... he was dyin'... an' then... he... did..." Her words were soft, and her eyes closed. "The only two left behind... him an' me. Still kinda hard ta grasp that fact..." She then scoffed, rolling those often fiery eyes heavenward. "But then... ya thought I was the one who abandoned ya all... So, guess that makes it all... Okay..."

"Kris..." Billy tried, at a loss for words. His earlier thoughts - his realization, coming to the front of his mind.

"It's fine... I should be used ta it by now..."

Billy's brows furrowed. Her words were even weaker and Billy noticed. He wanted to question her. Ask her why she should be used to it. To also tell her that he was sorry over and over again until she believed him. But he couldn't. She was fading and Chavez wasn't coming back. "You need this wound closed. You can't be losing any more blood."

"Oh? An' what d'ya suggest Bonney...? Unless ya got a needle an' thread hidden up yer ass..."

"There's other ways to close a wound." This got her attention and she looked at him. He could almost swear she knew what he was referring to. The only problem, his method normally left scars.

"Do it." Apparently, she did indeed know the method he was referring to.

"It'll probably scar... and where it's at it'll probably be easily seen if..."

The woman's voice cut him off. "Don't give a damn. Do it. I got more scars than I can count... What's one more. It won't be m' last..." Kristal let out a slow breath, her eyes getting droopy, which concerned Billy. "'Side's I've always been perfectly fine with not bein' pretty."

A frown pulled at Billy's face. His gaze searching hers. For the first time, he noticed every little pucker and pull of the scars on her face, her neck, the bare skin along her collarbone and arms. They didn't disfigure her. If anything they added character. He wanted to tell her she was being foolish. But then he noticed how pale she had become which made all her scars more pronounced. Instead of speaking his feelings, he kept silent and did as Kristal asked.

About ten minutes later, Billy walked back into camp with Kristal limp in his arms, Chavez's pelt wrapped around her shoulders.

Chavez narrowed his eyes at him, turning from emptying his saddlebag for the tenth time to see Kristal unconscious in Billy's arms. "What did you do, now?"

"I cauterized her wound... she passed out," Billy explained and looked at Charlie. "Get her bedroll and I'll lay her down." He then looked to Steve, "go up to the river and get her things."

Nodding Charlie and Steve immediately moved to do as requested.

"What? How?" Chavez questioned with a raised brow. He hadn't found his needle and thread and was annoyed with himself because of it.

"Little gunpowder and a match." It was said so simply, but the look on Billy's face told them all he wasn't saying everything. Something had happened and it clearly bothered the normally jovial Billy.

Charlie returned and set out Kristal's bedroll carefully near the fire for warmth, but not too close that she could roll into it.

"She's going to hate you, Chivato."

"It's too late... she already does."

~~~~~~~~

The next couple of mornings dawned bright but cold. The nights were frigid and the boys huddled close to the fire to keep warm being sure to keep Kristal covered, especially after they found her shivering in the middle of that first night. After a day and a half since Dick's death, the boys were beginning to become edgy. Doc still hadn't returned and they were all growing concerned about Kristal who had yet to awaken. On the morning of the third day, Billy had gone to the river while Chavez went out hunting up something to eat. Morale was low with Dick's death, Doc still being gone, and Kristal, who hadn't stirred since the night they found her shivering. The boys were beginning to worry if the blonde woman would even make it. Even with Billy's reassuring that she would be fine and sharpening that tongue on them soon enough.

Charlie moved to her side breathing into his hands to warm them and frowned looking down at her. He and Chavez had taken up a constant vigil by her side. His expression shifted, worry crossing his brow. "Maybe we should try and wake her..."

"And what? Get yelled at? No thank you." Steve grumbled in answer.

"I'm worried... she should have woken up by now, don't ya think?"

Steve shrugged, "I dunno. I ain't no doctor, Charlie."

The curly-haired man sighed, his dark chocolate-colored eyes searching her features in hopes to see some sign that she would wake up. "It's crazy how innocent she looks while she's sleepin'. She's quite pretty too, don't ya think?" Charlie looked over at Steve, raising a curious eyebrow.

The man just blew through his lips. "Seen purtier. More girly too. I like my women busty and with a big ass and wearin' a dress or nothin' at all." Steve said spitting some tobacco out. What he wasn't saying, was that he preferred women of the evening, those that worked the saloons. Sure, he had to pay for them, but he knew what he was getting, with no emotion or strings attached. "Sides you sure she's only sleepin'? Maybe she's dead."

"You unsympathetic jackass. She's breathing. How could you be so damn cold?" Charlie growled, eyes moving back on her. Chavez had left his fur pelt on her to keep her warm. "You have to be crazy to not think she's pretty."

Steve shrugged. "She's decent and all, she's just not my type. Christ, Charlie! Get over it."

Charlie frowned. "Well, she ain't my type either, but I still think she's pretty. I couldn't handle that hot temper of hers, but I'd still like to think we're friends... that is if we ain't screwed it up. We never should have left her and Dick behind."

"She's a spitfire for damn sure." Steve chuckled. "Only thing I like about her. She speaks her mind and she's skilled as hell. Compared to Chavez, I ain't sure who the better knife smith is." Looking away from Charlie, towards the grave marker with Dick's name on it, Dirty Steve shook his head. "Yeah... weren't right of us to leave 'em."

Charlie sighed and moved away as Billy came down the ravine. His hair was slicked back and droplets of water dripped from the tips of his hair. He was shirtless, and his skin still glistened with the river water. "She's still sleepin'?" Billy questioned, his guarded gaze going to Kristal.

"Apparently, she ain't dead yet," Steve stated without feeling.

Billy's eyes flicked to Steve, and the boy swallowed noticing the cold stare he was being given. The blond man was about to say something to Steve when they heard a murmur come from Kristal's lips. Billy's brows drew together at the sound and the boy rushed over to her side, kneeling down hoping she was finally waking up.

The features on Kristal's face were scrunched together as if in pain, and she was muttering unintelligibly under her breath. One of her arms had moved out from under Chavez's pelt, her hand balled into a tight fist.

"Kris?" Billy tried again.

"We already tried that. She didn't budge." Steve added.

Billy ignored him and placed a hand to her good shoulder. "Kris... Hey... You okay?"

The woman's head moved back and forth, but only slightly - if one wasn't looking closely they would have missed it. To Billy, it seemed like she was in the throes of a nightmare. "Kristal... Hey, Starr..." Now, the blond boy shook her shoulder slightly.

Without warning, Kristal's eyes snapped open, knife in her hand, and at Billy's throat within seconds. Billy stared in shock, not about to move feeling a sharp stinging sensation at his neck and a warmth trickling down his flesh. Where had that knife even come from? The look in Kristal's eyes was dazed, but dark with hate, still lost in whatever nightmare she had been having. The other two boys were staring wide-eyed at the scene afraid to move or say anything.

"Look, I know ya hate me, Kris... But..." It was then he noticed her blink, green eyes clearing up and focusing on him.

Seeing Billy so close, sandy colored blond hair curling over his forehead, water droplets falling down onto his bare skin. Her gaze lowered, to his throat and she could see... Wait, that was her knife... Her hand... His blood... With a gasp, she opened her hand, her knife falling from her grasp to the ground. Her gaze was focused on the small cut she had made to which Billy moved to touch. There was only silence, which seemed to last for ages. Kristal was frozen, breathing deeply. Her own injuries forgotten, knowing she could have killed Billy. One simple jerk of her hand and she would have slit his throat.

"Got some breakfast," Chavez called out and looked around realizing he had missed something. His eyes then landed on Kristal and a smile shifted over his face, "good to see you awake, Chiquita."

The sound of Chavez's voice shook her out of her reverie and Kristal quickly stood, though it was a little bit of a struggle, hastily issued an, "I... I'm sorry..." and stumbled off to the river not even bothering to respond to the Mexican-Indian or anyone else.

Once the woman disappeared, everyone let out a breath. Charlie was speechless at first and then moved over to the confused Chavez to explain what had happened.

"Damn! She nearly killed you, Billy." Steve stated, standing up and moving to the bushes to relieve himself. "I always knew that woman was gonna be the death of one of us," the dirty man grumbled while unzipping his pants.

Billy just sat there, his fingers still at his throat. It stung, but the wound wasn't deep. He would live to see another day. Still, the look in her eyes had been odd. One moment she had this far off look of hatred, Billy thought for sure it was for him. Didn't she hate him? She had surely said it many times, now. Though only recently with such vehemence. But then, the next moment, something shifted in her eyes, recognition, surprise, and even fear. That was what had surprised him the most. This confident, sure-fire woman who claimed she didn't fear anything, had fear in her eyes. And then, she had abruptly apologized and ran off.

Gripping his shirt while lost in thought, he shrugged it on, before he pulled a handkerchief from his pants pocket and placed it against his neck. Charlie came over as Chavez moved to skin his kill. "It look bad?"

Charlie shrugged, his eyes taking in the cut. "Might scar...."

"Well, shit." He didn't care if it scarred, he cared more about the woman and the mixture of odd emotions he had seen flashing in her eyes. "I should probably go after her... right?" Billy sighed, his questioning gaze turning to where she had disappeared to.

"Dunno, Billy... maybe... I mean, she did just wake up." The curly-haired boy was worried about the woman, but was it smart to let Billy go? She had nearly killed his friend. "But she nearly killed you..."

"Yeah... I know." Billy paused in thought. The blond boy then shook his head, a smirk appearing on his face hiding the uncertain feelings underneath, "but since when do I shirk at a little risk taking?" He hurried up the ravine and then stopped, hearing the sound of a horse he turned seeing Doc approaching in the distance. "Hey, Steve!"

"What?" Shouted Steve still relieving himself in the bushes.

"Doc's back! I told you he'd come back!" A grin broke out on Billy's face, pushing the woman and her actions from his thoughts for the time being. Doc waved a hand to Billy in greeting and the blond nodded his head in return. "Sheriff Brady, we're gonna have a lot of fun now."

****

The sound of swearing came as another rock hit the river water with a splash. Green eyes stared at the ripples growing from the rock she had just thrown. Her eyes were partially sunken in from blood loss, and she felt weak. Kristal didn't care though. The sight of Bonney at the end of her knife had scared the shit out of her. It was almost laughable. How many times had she daydreamed of slitting the blond man's throat? Too many too count. And yet now, she was visibly shaken by her actions. She could have killed him! All due to her damned nightmares.

They plagued her from time to time. The nightmares had grown more and more fleeting as she got older, but they still came. She swore again, disappointed in herself. The last nightmare she had was the night after Tunstall had died. And thankfully, she had been sleeping away from the other boys just in case... Which, had been a good idea on her part. She had woken up in a cold sweat, her old nightmares mixed with the death of John Tunstall's. She didn't cry out like most did when they were in the throes of a bad dream. She had learned long ago that screaming and crying would only cause pain or suffering in one way or another. Instead, she had somehow managed to jolt awake.

And the time before that had been a couple nights after her arrival at Tunstall's. She had jolted awake then too, but had found John standing off to the side with a glass of water and a concerned expression over his face. She had asked him why he hadn't tried to wake her, but had been equally thankful he hadn't. His response had warmed her.

"It is not wise to wake one up from a nightmare, my dear." The Englishman had said. "My grandfather once told me, nightmares are the ghosts of our worries and fears, haunting us while we sleep. And when they force us awake it is to look at the underlying problem, whatever it is we are avoiding, in order to figure out a solution. I'm not sure what the problems of your past may be, my dear. But if you ever wish to face them, you know where to find me."

Hot tears stung Kristal's eyes at the memory. Oh, how she wished he was there to talk to. How much longer could she hold it all in? What would happen when she couldn't anymore? The nightmare she had before waking up to find her knife at Bonney's throat, shook her. All those now dead, vividly present in her minds eye, speaking to her, berating her, condeming her. She tried to shake her head, to get rid of the lingering presence of the nightmarish fog that had taken over her mind.

Instead she forced her thoughts to shift to something other than her continuous hateful bad dreams. And they did, to other more current events plaguing her mind. The outlaw winced as she moved her left arm to pick up another rock. Her gaze shifted to the makeshift bandage wrapped around her shoulder. Billy had nearly killed her. It was a disturbing notion. The man she had begun to trust had put a bullet close to her heart. She remembered the look on his face, the fear and worry. If she wasn't so angry with him, she might have felt sympathetic. Then again, hadn't she nearly, accidently slit his throat? Damnit! Why did everything have to be so complicated?

"Regulators! Saddle up! Shit's gonna get fun!"

Irritation shifted over her face as Billy's shout echoed over to her. Her right fingers gently slid over the cloth covering her wound. Unfortunately she would not be much help with her injury, so whatever Billy had planned, she may have to sit on the side lines. Then again, she wasn't very good at sitting back and letting others do all the work.

Biting her lower lip, Kristal stared at the rushing water of the river, pausing before she headed back. A part of her wanted to leave them. Knowing how they all thought so little of her. Then again, a larger part of her refused. She would remain and see this through, even if it killed her. And with Bonney around, it just might. Dick's words came back to haunt her. He had told her not to trust the blond man. Maybe... just maybe he was right. With a sigh, she looked towards the heavens watching the clouds curl on the breeze. "I won't leave, John... I can't. I feel I owe it to ya, ta stay an' right the wrong done to ya. As well as try my damndest ta keep the rest o' yer Regulators safe. I may not be one m'self, but... I still care... 'bout them. Even though I don't wanna, despite m' reservations, I do care about these crazy fools. Though Billy might be low on that list right now..."

Taking a deep breath, Kristal stood a moment longer, staring into the expanse above before turning to head back to saddle up her horse. She wasn't about to be left behind again.