Loneliness is a powerful thing.

The thing about it is that it can hit you even when you're with people. Even when you're supposed to not feel lonely. It's a burning feeling that leaves you so utterly cold.

Hitomi was super appreciative of all her friends, even Gojo, but there was nothing that could stop her from feeling an odd sort of disconnect with them lately. It felt as though she was just floating from place to place, even though she was standing on solid ground surrounded by very real people.

If she was to be honest, Hitomi didn't really know what she was feeling. Any inch of sadness she felt towards her father was long gone; if anything, she was not going to be missing him at all. Eventually, he got what he deserved. Karma came back to bite him. But that wouldn't solve her current dilemma.

And as long as her emotions were a mess, her cursed energy was going to fluctuate. In fact, it probably was fluctuating. At least her classmates had the decency to keep their mouth shut about it. But December came and yet, Hitomi could not change a thing about how she was feeling.

Emotions were really such a complicated thing.

She turned over on her bed, burying her face into the pillow. She wished she could just sleep forever.

'Isn't that just dying?' Izuki suddenly popped up. He had appeared sometimes, rambling about stories from a thousand years; which had been a welcome distraction. 'Do you want to die then? That's not such a fun thing. Take it from me.'

'You know that's not what I meant, right?' Hitomi almost wished Izuki existed in solid form, then she could at least punch him. Lightly that is. 'I just want to be able to rest and get my stupid fucking emotions back in order so that I stop messing up missions.'

'I can try to –'

'Absolutely not, Izuki. I can't have your emotions mixing up with mine. It will make a worse mess.'

'Whatever you say, Hitomi. And I'm sure you've probably forgotten about this, but tomorrow is Gojo's birthday. Don't forget to give him his present.'

'I did not forget about it,' Hitomi answered with the smallest of pouts. 'You know how I have been lately and on top of that, I have to go on a mission early tomorrow, so you know. There's a lot of things on my mind.'

'I know, but a birthday party would be the perfect way for you to relax,' Izuki answered. 'You can always ditch the mission. Just think about it, okay?'

Yeah, she would definitely think about it. (Not)

Hitomi had thought about it and in the end, she just went on the mission. She wasn't sure if she was ready to be at a party just yet. And it wouldn't just be her, Shoko, Gojo and Geto. There would surely be other people. Other people of the Jujutsu world that she was far too drained to deal with.

But the mission had extended for far too long, a lot longer than she had thought or wanted. It had been an easy mission, but the cursed spirit had been freakishly fast and she had spent the whole day just chasing after it, trying to catch it and destroy it.

It had been a good, but very tiring day. Hitomi was practically dragging herself up the steps of the main entrance of Jujutsu High. The sky had completely darkened, and the light came from the moon and the lamp posts that were periodically placed across the stairs. She would have admired the sight of the stars, but it was so late. Probably around nine o'clock at night. All she wanted to do was to sleep. She did not even feel like using her cursed technique. That was how lazy she felt.

"Just a few more steps to go," Hitomi muttered to herself, slowly climbing ahead. Huffing slightly, she finally reached the top, the buildings looming behind. But she was not alone.

Gojo's stark white hair was visible, even in the darkness. He was sitting there, waiting, holding what looked to be her polaroid camera. When he saw Hitomi, he got up.

"There you are, sweets," He grinned widely. "I've been waiting for you."

Hitomi felt surprised on two counts. One, that Gojo was here and he had, in all probability, waited for her. Two, why the hell did he have her polaroid camera with him? "Gojo, what exactly are you doing here? And what are you doing with my polaroid camera?"

Gojo strode over to her. He handed her the camera and then reached into his pocket and pulled out a stack of polaroids. "Since you weren't there to experience the party, I thought I'd use the camera to take pictures so that I could brag about how awesome it was. Since, you know, you missed out. And of course, ask for my gift too."

"You're buying me new film," Hitomi said plainly, grabbing the stack of polaroids and putting them into her own pocket. She would look at them later. But judging by the top photo (one of Shoko putting cake on Gojo's face), the party had seemed like a fun one. "And you can get my gift as long as you're willing to be my support till my room. I swear my feet are about to fall off."

"Whatever you say, sweet girl," Gojo held out an arm and Hitomi grabbed onto it. "Lead the way."

*

In her room, Gojo's gift was exactly where she had kept it. In a white paper bag on her nightstand. Hitomi set down the polaroid camera on the top and then grabbed the bag. She walked to Gojo and handed it to him.

"Happy birthday," Hitomi said, a tired smile on her face. "It was hard to find a gift for someone as gaudy as you, but I think I did. It was a little expensive, but I have money to spend now so..." (And a lot of money too)

"Woah, this is cool!" Gojo's eyes were like shining stars as he pulled out the gift from the bag. It was a pretty stupid thing now that she thought about it, but it was perfect for someone like Gojo. An iridescent blue case for his sunglasses. "Thanks, sweets. It's an awesome gift. I can't believe you'd actually give something like this to me."

"Do you want me to take it back? Because I definitely can do that. I have the receipt with me."

"Nuh-uh. It's mine now. You cannot take it back. Ever."

"Well, I am glad you like it then. You'd better not get me something shitty for my birthday."

"As you say, Hitomi-chan."

*

Time passed and Hitomi began to feel much better and more in control. Though part of her heart was laden with grief and pain, she felt mostly healed, partly in thanks to the amount of missions she went and mostly due to her friends. They treated her the same and for that, Hitomi was utterly grateful.

As snow fell from the sky, covering the entirety of Jujutsu High under a white layer, Hitomi wandered down the familiar pathway to her dorm room. Today was December 31st and tomorrow it would be her birthday. Yes, she had been born on New Year's Day of all things. Gojo had unironically begun to call her 'lucky charm' after that.

Hitomi let out a sigh as she tugged her scarf around her neck. Her breath was visible; it was that cold. But she was not too affected. She really did not mind the cold. Actually, if she was to be honest, she thoroughly enjoyed the cold weather and the snow.

She checked the time on the watch she was wearing. It was just six in the evening. She could probably take an hour's nap right now. Hitomi arrived at her dorm and stepped inside. Her dorm was a comforting place, small yet cozy. She dumped her backpack on the floor next to the door and walked to her bed. The lights in her room were turned off, so the second she collapsed on the bed, she fell asleep.

It felt like she had barely fallen asleep, when her eyes snapped open of their own accord. Her room looked the same, nothing had changed. But when she checked the time, nearly three hours had passed. It must be night now; the sky covered in stars that wouldn't be visible from the city.

Hitomi sighed and rubbed her nose as she sat up on the bed. 9:30pm. Less than three hours to go till she would be a year older. But it didn't really matter. She wasn't going to be a different person, even though many thought the New Year to be the best time to make a change.

Hitomi was going to be Hitomi.

"And Izuki," her soul's companion spoke in her mind, voice full of amusement. "You cannot forget me."

"Oh of course, of course. I can't. Hitomi and Izuki, two souls in one. We're a pair no one knows exist."

"The best pair in the world and no one knows who we are," There was an uncharacteristic seriousness to Izuki's voice, but it disappeared a second later, replaced by his usual cheery words. Hitomi had to remember that. "You just have a few hours left before you grow a year older. Now since I cannot celebrate with you, I hope you have plans of some kind."

"Plans? What plans?" Hitomi stared at the wooden floor. "Birthdays are just a date that comes every year. Nothing special about it. And I don't really need any parties or anything. I'd much rather sleep."

"Of course you would. But...you have people to celebrate it with."

That Hitomi did. She had her friends, and they were the best thing to happen to her. (Though she'd never admit that out loud–Gojo would be even more frustrating then).

There was a knock on the door. Izuki instantly disappeared, traces of his cursed energy merging with hers and vanishing away. Shoko entered, dressed in a dark puffy jacket and earmuffs covering her ear. She looked all dressed up to go somewhere.

"Woah, what's with the outfit?" Hitomi stood up as Shoko walked towards her. "You going somewhere?"

"We all are," Shoko answered, half grinning. "Yaga-sensei didn't give Gojo permission to set off fireworks, and the idiot was being a baby..."

"As always," Hitomi interrupted, shaking her head.

"As always," Shoko confirmed. "So, he's planning on sneaking out tonight and we're going to that festival in that temple nearby. So dress up."

"I...uh..." It was still snowing outside and Hitomi didn't really feel like doing all the walking that was going to be involved in reaching the temple. But then...her friends were inviting her. Her friends. (And she was lonely.)

"Gojo's paying for everything."

"Huh. You should have led with that. As long as he's paying for everything."

Hitomi would not deny herself the chance of squandering rich boy Gojo's money. He had too much of it in the first place.

The snow had lessened and people were taking full advantage of the festival. There were those usual festival games plus some really great food stalls and in general, there was a lot to do even though it was close to midnight.

Hitomi's polaroid was hung around her neck, her jacket pocket full of all the polaroids they had taken so far. She was...she was really happy here. With friends. With Shoko, who was chewing on a candy apple, looking quite disinterested. With Geto, who looked amused watching Gojo trying to throw rings to catch a bird stuffed toy because its eyes looked remotely like his. With Gojo, as she quietly messed with the gravity of the rings.

She leaned over to Geto, quietly whispering, "Should I tell him that I've been messing with him?"

"Leave it," Geto grinned mischievously as he whispered back. "The strongest should struggle sometimes."

Hitomi snorted. "You're right about that."

Shoko shook her head, an amused look on her face. Looking at her, Hitomi just shrugged and offered her a secretive grin.

Hitomi was thankful to be here, thankful for these rare few moments, thankful that she had this group. As she cackled along with Geto, and brushed shoulders with Shoko, she was thankful that she didn't feel as lonely as before. Loneliness, which earlier had felt like a striking knife, had dulled to the pain of being struck by a toothpick. Loneliness would remain, but time would pass and they would all grow and they'd have each other.

(Even being scolded by Yaga-sensei was going to make this moment worth it.)

Now that Jujutsu Kaisen season 2 is less than a week away, it is time to start regular updates for this book. The first part of this fic takes place during the Hidden Inventory Arc (or as I like to call it, Gojo's Past Arc). I have already got about seventy percent of this arc written down and I cannot wait to share it with you all. Once the season starts back up, you can expect semi-regular updates. I am so excited to share more of Hitomi's story with you all!

I hope you all enjoyed reading this chapter! Let me know your thoughts in the comments!