❝ It's mysterious how love treads in, saddles out and well sometimes just stays put.

Ah-Uh! This Matrix of Love is way more dangerous than the one Neo & Trinity found themselves in! ❞

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MEERA'S POV

" He has lost a lot of blood and he's extremely critical. I advise you to call his close family members soon."

She's bullshitting me right now, correct?

I was way too paralyzed to answer her.

" Miss. You need to sign these." I was a puppet following her pointed fingers and signing a couple of pages.

She vanished. I stooped down on the couch. I saw the three things in that transparent bag. I removed the crumpled paper.

It broke me down. It was my letter. The one I had written it before leaving his condo. Any of this wasn't a good suppose to happen. I wish it were me in his place.

Aaarrghhhh...

Kush is too good for all of this.
He's too pure and I feel like filth.

I felt some vibrations on my palm. I wiped my face with the back of my hand, my vision was blurred again. It was Kush's cell phone.

Caller ID said, Tom

What am I gonna say?

I answered nevertheless. His family needs to know and they need to know now.

" Hello Sir, where am I supposed to pick you up? Did you meet Meera?"

Shit! It's a disaster.

"T-Tom... I-it's me..." I broke just saying that line.

" Meera! Where's sir? W-hat happened?"

" Please c-come to Devonport h-hospital now..."

I hung up. I covered my face just to stop myself from crying but it wasn't stopping, not until there's nothing more left to drain out.

" Meera..." I looked up to find Tom. I don't know how much time has passed and how long I was in a crouched position curled in and crying myself out.

" It's... It's... Kush... H-He..."

" I know. I've been here for 15 minutes. I shook you for almost 5 times but...." He stopped for time indefinite.

He handed me wet tissues. I wiped my face. My eyes hurt and I know they were swollen by now. For the first time, I had a clear view. Tom looked worried but he had his shit together, unlike me. Tom was family and I was glad he was here now.

But, he wasn't at fault, I was. And because of me, Kush's life is in jeopardy. I'm to blame.

" Nurse said..." I started.

" I know. I've called Samar sir and ma'am. They are on there way. Fortunately, both of them were in Singapore today for an event. They will be here in 10 hours." He informed.

I fell on my knees. My face in my palms.

" It's all on me. I'm jinxed, Tom. I should be the one in there, not Kush... "

" Meera. You've to be strong. He's gonna be alright... " I hope he will be.

" Excuse me. It's a case of an accident. We need your report." The officer came. I stood up and followed him. I wasn't at the scene when it happened so I wasn't much of help but I provided him what I knew.

Tom was next to me the entire time. After the officer left, I looked at Tom, hopefully when a nurse came.

" The patient has been taken for surgery." She informed.

" How long will it take? " Tom asked.

" Minimum 8 hours. He has multiple fractures, lacerations and a serious head injury. The details will be given by Dr. Greg. He's operating." She spoke in a monotonous tone signifying that all this is like a Tedious Tuesday to her.

But, it does to me. It's a blow.

" He's gonna be alright, right? " I asked timidly.

" I can't give you false hopes. He's extremely critical because of the tremendous blood loss. The doctors are trying their best..." I stood up.

" Then ask them to do better. There's no way..." Tom pulled me back before I pound on her. Giving me a sympathetic look she left. A look she might have given to many like me.
What she's oblivious to is the guilt that has already killed me.

" Ssshhh... Meera. Calm down... " I struggled to free myself until I was exhausted.

The pain is excruciating when you know you're responsible for a person's misery and it's worse when he's fighting for his life.

" Look at me. You need to clean yourself. There's still blood all over you." It didn't matter.

" I'm not going anywhere..." Saying so, clutching the things which the nurse gave I sat on the couch.

All my mind, heart and soul did was to pray. To not punish the man I love for the mistakes I've committed.

🌟🌟🌟

Seconds turned into minutes and minutes clocked into hours and the doctors didn't show up. Through the window, I saw that the sun was about to rise. The faint rays were already making its presence felt. My eyes were tired and the light was making them strain. I felt my cheeks sore. It was more than 7 hours already. Maybe 8, I had lost the track of time.

Tom was beside me all the time. He brought me coffee and water, which I refused.

After an hour or so I heard someone call my name.

" Meera..." I looked up to find Paul and tears were down again.

" I was in Wellington for work. Tara is on her way." I hugged me tightly.

" He'll be alright..." He assured.

Before I could reply, I heard a lot of hurried footsteps through the corridor. I left Paul's hold to find Samar Kapoor and his wife walking towards us. Her condition didn't seem better. I wiped my tears as my heart rate increased three times.

Behind them, I saw Daniel and Heather.

" What did you do to my Kush?" She held my shoulder the first thing she came.

"I-I'm s-sorry... " I broke down.

" Y-You are..." She scoffed.

" K-Kush loved only you and now because of you...." She stopped again.

" Honey, it's not her fault..." It was her husband trying to pull her away.

" No! From the day she entered my son's life, she's ruined it. You've ruined it, do you hear that... Because of you, he came here... " All I could do was to cry. She squeezed my shoulders and shook me hard.

" Honey... Let her go..." She was pulled back by Kush's dad. Heather held me.

" Huh! I was so wrong. How could I let my son chase a woman who didn't even come when her father...."

" Enough! " It was Samar.

I looked up. Why did Samar sir stop her? What about my father?

" Why stop Samar? Let her know. She's entitled to know and have feelings about the same if she has any. " Everyone looked in the direction the voice came from.

My mom and dad were here.

Mom was sobbing, holding my Dad's hand.

" Dad!" I whispered.

" Meera... " He couldn't speak.

" Tell me what happened to you? " I asked.

" I had a heart attack four years ago. You were too busy to even care whether we live or die. And this time you've done it again. Kush loves you so much that he's paying for that. Like everyone does, always. "

It was too much to take it. I was shocked. Dad had a heart attack. I wasn't even aware of.

" So matter how hard we asked him to give up on you he didn't. He shouldn't have come here in the first place... " Mom said.

There's nothing more left to justify. I was charged guilty and I accept it but it hurts more when there's not a single person to lend a shoulder.

Not even my parents. Wow! I did mess up hard.

But as a matter of fact, I deserved it. I hadn't done anything to make them proud. Kush meant everything to them, I was just a convicted criminal now who was responsible for almost murdering Kush.
Murderer, eh? A strong word for a weak person like me.

" I think you all are..."

" I-I'm sorry. This wasn't supposed to happen... I-I'm s-sorry... I..." I interrupted Samar sir but before I could say anything more Doctor walked out. Everyone turned their attention. I couldn't even see him.

" How is he? "

" Is he awake? "

" I want to meet my son, now... "

She was bombarded with questions yet she maintained her calmness.

" The surgery went well. The patient will be under observation for the next few hours until he gains consciousness. Only one person at a time is allowed to see him for a while after he's shifted to ICU." She left as I heaved a sigh.

" So, Who would like to go first? " She asked.

" I would... " We both looked at each other. Kush's mom and me. It was prompt.

" I will. " It was an order and I stepped back. She left, followed by her husband.

" Meera..."

" M-Mom..." Tears swelled in my eyes as she called me. I wanted someone to comfort me.

" I think you should leave for the day. It's for the best."

Wait, what?

" I-uh? Yeah..." She's correct. No one wants to see my damned face. I felt Heather's hand on my shoulder. Daniel was standing next to her.

It was just the three of us after Mom and Dad both left. I was agitated that even Dad didn't even bother a look before he left.

" It's not your fault, Meera." Daniel was the first to say that.

" Ha.." I scoffed.

" I-it's reassuring but it's the truth. I'm at fault. It should have been me instead of Kush..." I wiped my tears as I began to walk away.

" Stop. Where are you going? I'm sure you're the first person Kush will want to see." I stopped when I heard that.

" I so wish that you vanish from the face of the Earth... "

" Really, Meera... You don't mean it."

" Oh! Yes. I so mean it... Goodbye."

That memory will haunt me forever. Kush will never want to see me. And I will never be able to face him again. I didn't answer.

Sometimes I wonder why does God listen to you at the time when he ought to just ignore you point blank.

I walked the entire corridor until I was at the far end. I went into the washroom and looked in the mirror.

What have I done?

I looked pathetic, my palms were still covered in patches of dry blood. I washed them. It felt hours until there was none left. My clothes were worn out and had blood too. The blood might wash away from me but what about my heart.

Replaying the event I broke down. I fell on my knees in the washroom and cried. Cried again for no one likes me. They despise me. Cried for what I did to Kush and how I sabotaged our relationship and his love. I cried until I couldn't.

I've been deserted to die. And Yes, no salvation to the rescue.

🌟🌟🌟

The bags were packed, just a couple of them. One a handbag and other a rucksack. Enough to carry notable items in my possessions. I felt like a hippie, a homeless gipsy.
My passport was in the right side of the back pocket of my jeans. I checked out from the small motel I was living in for the last two weeks. It was 2:30 a.m.

I had a 4:45 a.m flight to catch, an hour in hand before I need to check-in.

I was right outside the hospital where Kush was admitted. The cold, moonless night was reflecting my feelings. I put my rucksack against the visitors' desk. The lobby was deserted except the receptionist who was half asleep. I meandered my way to Kush's private room like a thief, careful not to bump into anyone I don't want to.

Fortunately, all seemed tired and perhaps went to the hotel to rest, the hallway was desolate and cold. I peeped in through the tiny translucent glass window. I saw Kush sleeping. I sneaked in. I had to have a supposedly last look at him. I can't leave without that.

Tears started flowing again as I saw numerous tubes running in and out of his body. His left leg and arm were fractured, his head had bandages all around, it was way worst than how they show in the movies. I pulled a steel stool and sat next to him, wiping my eyes every second so that I could see him.

He was on oxygen and his shallow breath was heard in the dead silence. I took his hand in mine, his index finger had a clip on it, with a couple of tubes running.

What have I done?

I held my head against his hand as the tears fell incessantly. He must be in excruciating pain. For all his goodness I've rewarded him this.

" K-Kush..." I started. He hears it or not, doesn't matter. I need to say it.

" I-I'm... I'm sorry. I-I really am... I'm a selfish, cruel and bad person. You..."

" You are a very good p-person. Y-you, don't d-deserve me..." I broke again.

" I'm sorry. But, trust me... I-I've never ever... St-stopped loving you. I-I really do... But, it's f-for the b-best. " I looked at my watch. It's time.

" I-I've to go. P-please, take care of yourself... Please... " I kissed his palm and his forehead.

As I was about to leave, a felt a tug in my fingers. Kush's little finger was pulling mine towards him. I cleaned my eyes again and saw his face, I saw a couple of tears roll down his closed eyes.

Is he conscious?

Did he hear?

Nonetheless, I need to leave before anyone comes. I removed my hand and with a broken heart, and not looking back I closed the door behind.

I wept. I never thought I'd be in so pain, after Myra.

I've to be strong. I've to leave. It's for the best.

That's my mantra for now.

" Running away again, are we?" I stopped dead in my track.

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Hey Guys!

Sorry to keep you waiting!
Just 2 more chapters left for this one to End!

Hope you're enjoying the story.

Keep Reading and Supporting me!

Next Update - Hopefully Sooner.

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Luv...♥
Vruksha.