❝ I'll hold your hand, I promise to love you and leave never this but will you be mine or are those emotions gone forever. ❞

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KUSH'S POV

No matter how hard I try to keep my feelings in check, they just happen to find a way out. I don't wanna look desperate in front of her, which I'm definitely not.

No matter what I do, I always end up letting the volcano erupt. It's frustrating but I don't want her to think that I'm so so in love that I'd do anything.

But, now I'm starving for sure. Swimming makes me feel like that.

Swimming surely makes one famished. I was about to order room service when my cell rang.

" Yes, aunty..."

" She's with me. I'm sure she'll call you tomorrow." That's Meera's mom.

It's astonishing as well as astounding, but yeah we've been talking since last half a decade and it doesn't matter whether Meera agrees or not, but now her parents are my family. And there's a long story how this happened, which I'll share in due time.

" But, Kush. She's home and yet she hasn't called her parents. What has got into her?"

She was worried sick and I give it to her for that. They had already lost one daughter, cruelly and losing another one is a nightmare.

Moreover, I'd promised them that I'd bring Meera home, to them. But the changed Meera, I thought I knew is a stranger who isn't gonna succumb easily.

" Aunty, don't worry. If she doesn't call you till tomorrow, then both of you come here. I'm sure as soon as she sees you, she'll melt like butter." I was trying hard to convince her but sometimes circumstances are better at convincing than words from people like me.

" I so want to believe what you say. But actions speak louder than words. Your uncle is equally worried. "

" Please, don't do this, to me at least. He needs to take best care of his health. Have faith in me."

" Okay! If you say so. You send us your address. If she doesn't call, we'll come. For our daughter. "

" True that. I'll do it right away. "

I hung up.

I lost my appetite now. I moved my hand through my wet hair. If Meera doesn't call, which I'm 99% sure she won't i dont know what will ensue. I also don't know what has gotten into her. And this worries me more.

I don't want her to come back and accept my love, I just want her to get back to her parents. She doesn't know that I know what's going on with her family. My heart's in the right place but her isn't.

The main motive behind my Auckland trip is patching her up with her parents. There's definitely a long story behind all this but now's not the time.

I want her to accept everything out of love, not out of regret or guilt. And if she knows the real story, there's only guilt.

I opened my room's door. Meera's was shut. My cell rang and I went to pick it up.

It was Daniel.

" Danny..."

" Bro, how can you forget to give a call to me."

I laughed.

" I thought you'll be busy with Heather."

" I was. But I do worry about you too. How are things with Meera?" He asked.

He was so hopefully that things might change.

" Everything is normal, Danny. Don't you imagine things that aren't in your league."

" Kush, you sound low. Your spirits aren't cheerful. " He's surely my better half.

" I'm good. I'll call you later." I hung up.

I don't want him to worry about things which doesn't concern him, right now at least. We don't have secrets with each other and the best part, this keeps my heart light.

I turned around to find Meera standing in the passage looking right at me. She's was in a tee and track pants.

I didn't expect her here.

" I didn't mean to eavesdrop, Kush." I nodded.

" It's okay... What can I do for you?"

" I've emailed you the presentation and here's the file with all the documents. You wanna have a look." I took it from her.

She left, not putting up any fight for what happened earlier. What happened, suddenly.

I don't know what part of the conversation she heard but the vibes don't sound good.

I ordered ramen with corn soup. There was nothing else to do. I opened the windows to let the air in. It was then when I saw her sitting on the porch by the pool. I waited for my dinner to arrive and went to sit next to her.

" Oh! What a coincidence! I didn't know you'll be here."

" You knew I'm here. Stop, acting." She said in bland tone.

" Okay. Okay. You got me. I saw you were here, already. Did you eat?"

" I'm not hungry."

" Don't be a fool, Meera. I was just kidding with you back then, in your room. I wasn't gonna kiss you. I never will. I know I've lost that right." I said in a breadth.

She didn't answer. She was just staring at the black sky with some stars and patch of clouds. It was the time of retreating monsoon, October. The mornings were hot while the nights were cool. It could rain at any point.

I kept my bowl aside.

" Kush, you don't have to sacrifice your bowl of ramen for me. Eat on." She finally said.

" Only, if you agree to Dutch with me. Half-Half..." Before she could answer I rushed in the room and brought another bowl along with fruits.

" Kush... I'm not... "

" Stop lying... " I equally divided in two bowls.

And, as I offered her I saw a stream of tears flowing down her diamond face. They were glistening in the crescent moon light.

" Meera, What happened? A-are you alright?" She didn't answer but kept on wiping her face. I put the bowl aside.

" Meera... Don't. Please. I'll leave." I stood up.

But she stood up with me and stopped me, grabbing my hand. Before I know what's happening, she hugged me tightly and was still crying. I couldn't hug her back but then I had to. She was miserable.

I rubbed her back.

" I-I heard you speak to D-Daniel..." She spoke after a long time.

" I-I miss Mayra. I wish she was here to help me out of all this. She always did."

She clutched my t-shirt and cried more until she fell asleep. She cried on the flight and now she was crying again. This trip was indeed bringing a lot of her emotions out.

I picked her up and walked us to her room. I gently placed her on the bed and covered her with the blanket. As I was about to leave, she grabbed my hand and pulled it, resting her face on it.

She wanted me to stay. I sat beside her and she threw her hands on my waist, grabbing me tighter.

Deep in my heart, all I hope was that she doesn't misunderstand in the morning.

It's gonna be awkward then. I've to be prepared for it, mentally as well as physically. Coz, she's Meera and her reaction isn't gonna be flowery soft.

Nevertheless, I was damn sleepy too. Keeping the thoughts far away I held Meera's hand and let the sleep overpower me.

🌟 🌟 🌟

The sun rays were cruel. I opened my eyes, unwillingly and they took their sweet time to adjust to the surrounding and as soon as they did, I jumped and threw my hands in the air.

The sight that I saw was of Meera, trying to free herself from my hold, and her consistent tries weren't enough. I wonder why she didn't wake me up.

" Meera... I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I didn't do a thing... I swear... It's just that..."

" Kush. Relax. I know." She sounded calm.

I sighed and relaxed.

" I wasn't drunk last night. I know I slept while I was crying like a baby and you were there to comfort me. Thank you and sorry for putting you in that awkward situation. " She said from across the bed.

I rubbed my forehead.

" It's okay. I'm glad I was there."

" I know you meant what you said yesterday night. "

I tried to recall what did I say.

I wasn't gonna kiss you. I never will. I know I've lost that right.

I remembered. I stood up.

" Well, even though you weren't drunk, you sure as hell weren't sober back then." I smiled.

She smiled too. She seemed in a better mood now.

" Okay! It's still 8 on the clock, and we're meeting Mr. Patel at noon. The ride to his office is two hours. So, let's meet for breakfast in half hour and at  around 10 we will be good to go. " I said.

" Yeah..." She agreed and turned towards the bath.

" Meera... " I stopped her.

" Yeah... " She looked behind.

" Till when were you trying to free yourself? " I just can't control my curiousness, even when it's essential to not say things like this.

" Well, since 15 mins...." I couldn't control my laughter. And then she joined in.

" You could've woke me up."

" I'm not that evil, Okay. "

" Fine... " I turned around to leave and this time she stopped me.

" Kush... The paparazzi?"

" I see news travels fast... "

" Faster than you imagine..." She shook her head in dismissal.

" Don't worry. I've Tom taking care of that stuff. " From her expression I knew she believed me. And I also know that she always did.

Finally, I left this time. Without any more shout outs to each other.

🌟🌟🌟

Meera was just in time for the breakfast which was specially arranged for us, privately. She was in a knee length creamish white dress. Well, it wasn't that cool after all. The sun was brightly shining. I was in a blue jeans with a light blue shirt and a navy blue coat.

After breakfast we set out towards Nashik. Mr. Patel has his factory outlet on the outskirts of the city of Nashik in Mumbai. Nashik, a beautiful divine place, just enough green and just enough fresh. A getaway from the bustling metropolis.

We'll be discussing the contract with him there and then out to our sight where the shooting is gonna begun in a week. It's about half an hour from there.

Tom had made excellent arrangements so that we could leave without the paparazzi trouble and Meera took relieved. I powered up my laptop to brush myself with the presentation. Meera did the same.

The bright turquoise sky was twinning with my shirt which was beaming with sun was now getting covered with dark patches of clouds. Rain wasn't expected but its Mumbai after all and it should rain probably now looking at those scattered dark patches hindering the sun rays.

My cell rang.

" Mom... Yeah! I'm off to meet him. Where's Dad?"

" He'll be home tonight. Are you coming back tonight?" She asked.

" Mostly. No. I'll come first thing tomorrow morning."

" Kush, why the hell are you living in the hotel. I want you home tonight itself." It was an order.

" Mom... "

" Don't you Mom me, Kush... She's with you, isn't she? " I can't say my mom adores Meera a lot but she understands me well.

" Bring her home... " Well that wasn't something that I expected.

" Mom, can I call you later? "

" Sure. But, tonight I want you home with her or without her. I don't care. " She hung.

It's been months since I saw her. Only FaceTime calls were what kept us going.

I'm in a fix. Until Meera meets her parents, I can't meet mine. I turned my head sideways to find Meera looking out of the window. It's weird she didn't say anything. I'm pretty much sure she heard us.

Then, in the reflection I saw her tears flowing down. It's the third time in just two days that she's crying. I touched her shoulder. It startled her.

" Meera..." She quickly wiped her face.

" Kush you should definitely listen to your Mom. You should've gone home."
I know her heart is aching but I don't know why she's so restraint from meeting her parents.

" Why don't you call yours?" I asked upfront.

" They must be out of town..." She reasoned again.

" How can you be sure? "

She didn't answer.

" Running away isn't always the best option. And running away from the people who love you is the worst of all. "

" Who says I'm running?"

" Who says you're not? "

" Sir, We're here..." The car came to a stop and the conversation had an abrupt end.

Mr. Patel was standing right there to fetch us.

" Welcome, Mr. Kapoor and Ms. Mathur. A pleasure to have you here. " He greeted with a warm handshake.

We were escorted in his humongous office to discuss the matter with his team of advisors.

After almost 2 hours, we're done discussing all the concerning matters. Later, it was decided that our lawyers will proof read the document and process it further.
After a lunch with them, Meera and I were back in the car towards the site inspection.

" Kush, I wasn't much of a help..." She said. In those two hours, Meera had hardly spoken. Technical work wasn't the concern. The billings and costings were. Her presence wasn't needed but I had requested Mr. Patel to call her in and he was more than happy to.

" Your presence matters... " Is all I could say to cover my ass.

She didn't argue more.

When we reached the site, it wasn't in a good shape and I was glad that Meera was there to help me sort things out. The shooting was gonna begun in 5 days and the team was in a utter mess. They were waiting for us, supposedly.

Meera volunteered to look into the set design which she had designed and the sounds and acoustics part while I was discussing the affairs with director and cinematographer. It's a tedious process to ensure that everything is clear when the shooting beguns to prevent any delay.

A team of about 50 people were at work. Checking the site, arrangements, facilities, equipments and the background score.

At around fivish, I was finally done. The sun was still behind the the dark clouds. I cleared the things with the director, since I won't be visiting again. After finalizing the plans I looked around for Meera, she was no where to be seen.

The site was admist the forests and it was getting darker every minute. The team had already started packing up for the day.

" Tom, where is Meera?" I shouted.

He came running.

" She was talking to the set architect a few minutes ago." I rushed towards her.

" Rini, Where's Meera?"

" Hey! I spoke to her sometime ago and then I saw her walking towards the forest."

Hell. This girl. I leave her alone for an hour and she manages to get herself vanish, every single time.

" I'll come with you. " Tom followed me.

" No. You wait for us here only. Bring help if we don't come back in an hour. I don't think she must have ventured far enough." He nodded.

I ran inside the think grooves of the trees. There were all types of them, tall ones, shrubs and bushes but I couldn't find her.

" Meera... " I shouted, running straight.

After 5 minutes, I saw the hem of her dress.

" Meera... " I called her. It was around 6 and pretty much dark, not pitch dark but dark.

She turned her face towards me and seeing me she turned back and started running.

What the...

" Meera, stop..." I ran.

Why was she running?

I was almost there, and I pulled her hand to stop her and my leg got entangled in the creepers and we fell.

Pushing me, she stood up.

" What the hell, Kush? You lost me my butterfly..."

Was she serious?

" Are you insane?"

" I was just away for 5 minutes, following that beautiful butterfly and you... Because of you..." She looked around frustrated, not finding it anymore.

" Meera... Look around. It's not just 5 minutes. I'm searching for you since 15 minutes and we must be 2-3 miles away from the shooting site." I shook her.

She calmed and looked around. Her expression said that she had realised it now. It was dark now, completely. The sky was adorned by half moon. I pulled my cell phone and like they show in movies, it's not crap. There wasn't any signal.

" C'mon now. Let's go..." I pulled her hand.

She followed quietly.

" Kush, I think we're on the wrong way." She said.

" Really? You think so?" I shrugged.

" I'm sorry, Okay. Use the GPS." She stopped, taking the support of the tree.

" The GPS won't work without the network, Meera."

" Damn.. I'm so thirsty. Do you have water? "

God!

I removed my coat.

" Tck-Tck... I wish I knew that the great Meera Mathur will be chasing a butterfly and I'll be chasing her and then we'll be lost here and of course you'll be thirsty. " I was angry and frustrated and sweaty.

" What do you mean? "

" I don't carry water bottles around. " She sat down on the ground.

" I'm sorry, Kush. Don't taunt me now. " She rested her head on the tree.

" Meera, let's get going... "

" N-No... I can't walk anymore. I want water. We've walking since half an hour now. " That was true, even I was in a dire need of water.

" Yeah..." I sat down beside her.

" I've informed Tom that if I didn't return with you, he'll bring help. "

She nodded.

After 10 minutes of absolute silence we heard some noise. It was hustling of leaves. Meera look at me.

" Ssshhh...." She said, moving towards the noise.

" Meera... Where are you... " Before I could say anything she was wading through the leaves.

" Sshh..." I was shushed.

I followed her to that sound. And through the dim light of moon and the trees we saw two deers. Beautiful, ochre coloured with white spots on them. A glorious sight.

" They will take us to fresh water..." Meera whispered.

Frankly, I wasn't sure. There is a high probability that we can get lost in a wrong chase.

" Meera... It's a crazy idea. We should wait here." It was a pretty loud and the deers looked in our direction sensing danger.

" Kush... Shut up." She grabbed my hand, tightly just like a mother who holds her 5 Yr old.

The deer sprinted slowly and I was made to follow. I dare not speak a word now.
After about I don't know how many minutes, but it seemed like eternity to me we reached the small tributary of a river.

" See, I told ya... It's the mighty Godavari's tributary. " We slowly walked to the far end, away from the deers.

Meera tied her hair up with a pin and started towards the water. The water wasn't flowing swiftly. It was serene and making soft noises whenever it hit the rocks beneath. I followed. That's what I was doing since an hour and half now. I had already given up looking at my watch.

Gently, she gathered the water in her palms and had a sip. I wasn't confident about the water but we didn't have enough choices.

" Come, here... I'll help." With her small soft hands she helped me drink the water. It was indeed very cool and soothing.

After we're done drinking enough we got to nice huge shady tree.

" Waiting is the best we can do. Tom will find us soon." I assured.

" Hmm... You know, Kush... Mayra and I always used to drink water from such small ponds and rivers whenever we went for camping with Mom and Dad. It was always fun, following animals to there resting place. " She said with that charm on her face.

A happy glaze.

" I can't deny it. You've a good judgment. " I was picking up the grasses around, just for passing my time.

My coat was already off my chest and so was my shirt's upper button. October wasn't a cool month and the humid forest wasn't making it any better.

" But, I'll mention, not every time we hit the bull's eyes. Somedays we got lost too. Dad was the one who knew forests well and he found us. Mayra was the second after him. But, he never ever denied us from not following the small animals again. He believed that if we don't get lost, we could never find our way back. A lost way is perhaps all you need to seek your loved ones back. "

It was a beautiful thought.

" Well once, we were so badly stuck that it started raining. We were waiting for Dad just like now, under a tree. It was midnoon and and the thunder roared. I was the scared one... " But before she would finish her story a drop of water fell on my cheeks.

I looked up and it was drizzling now.

" You said it too soon, Meera. Too soon." We both got up.

It started slow, but the moon had long vanished now. I looked around but there was no place to take shelter too. I covered us in my coat.

" Meera, we'll have to stay under this tree itself." She nodded.

The rain slashed harder and the thunder roared louder. Meera shuddered against me. I rubbed her shoulder. She always had that thing about the thunders. I should know it as we've faced some thunders together, literally back in the old days. Not matter how hard I tried to cover her we're drenched.

" Meera, why did you stop? Did Uncle came that noon?" She was surprised that I was still interested in that story. Distraction is a good way in horrible situations like this.

Her face was full of built up and suppressed emotions, emotions that needed a open door and this trip was a such door. Her heart was again starting to feel things and her honey brown eyes didn't resist to show that.

" N-No... He didn't actually. " 
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