"CUT THE BULL," Jungkook laughed against Neva, his body almost falling onto her as they sat together on the campus green. She nudged her shoulder back to balance him, her own giggle harmonising with his in such a way that even Beethoven would become jealous.

A craft fair was taking place around the green, with dozens of stalls lining the lush grass. Students from the arts faculty were fundraising for their final projects, selling their work and offering services. A hotteok stand was sizzling in the corner, sweet brown sugar wafting through the air as blossoms began to line the trees of the university campus, delicate petals painting the pavements pink.

Jungkook had picked up some new Copic markers from one of the stalls, and had spent the last half an hour doodling on Neva's arm. Tiny flowers worked their way around her wrist, miniature scribbles filling in the empty spaces, with little '+4' emblems dotted here and there. He still refused to tell her what it meant, no matter how wide her puppy dog eyes were.

"No, I mean it," she swore, trying to catch her breath after telling Jungkook about Cassie's hair dye mishap from the night before. "I've never seen anything like it. I mean, she looks great, but just... not how she was supposed to."

It had been an ill-fated attempt at instigating the start of her very own hot girl summer, but Cassie had failed to take into consideration that it was still only March. The world simply wasn't ready for her to glow up.

Both she and Neva had been warned to stay away from drugstore bleach kits by their mothers, but it had worked so well on Jungkook's hair.

Unfortunately, Jungkook's golden tendancy to succeed at pretty much anything he put his mind to was responsible for his hair lifting nine levels in just a single sitting.

Cassie's bleach had only lifted her hair two - maybe three in the right lighting - levels, leaving her with a bright orange mess where her gorgeous dark hair used to be.

"Do you think she's gonna dye over the top of it?" Jungkook asked, his interest in Cassie's disaster genuine. "Or will she just try and make it work?"

"You know Cass," Neva shrugged with a fond, pitiful smile. Poor Cassie. "She somehow manages to suit everything. I think she'll probably put some wild colour over the top of it."

Jungkook nodded. "Yeah, something bright would suit her best. I still have some blue dye left over if she wants that?"

Neva looked over to him, toying with his now dark hair affectionately. "I'll ask her. Thank you."

She took a moment to preserve this version of him in her memories; his defined jaw now rested, not a hint of tension in his bone structure, and his soft eyes wide. His smile was slightly off centre, a little crooked, but she'd be damned if she ever saw a smile that she loved any more than his.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He questioned, smile prevailing. His jaw had a habit of moving slightly to one side when he spoke, and Neva wondered if he noticed. It was one of her favourite quirks of his, because it was so much more evident when he was smiling. Truthfully, she just adored anything that illustrated his happiness.

"I'm not looking at you like anything," she said with a trademark roll of her eyes.

Jungkook pursed his lips together, cheeks still dimpled and nodded. "Sure you aren't."

Before she had a chance to banter back, the buzz of a phone call vibrated against her leg. Jungkook's phone had been rested on her thigh all afternoon, and not once had it gone off - not a text from another girl, not a notification of a single DM or even a reminder of missed matches from tinder.

Of course, there would be no tinder notifications. Not that Neva knew this, but he'd deleted it way back in November.

That was part of what made him so desirable to the other girls on campus: he was unreachable. His Instagram account was private, twitter account non-existent and dating apps dead and buried. There was something alluring about a mystery, and Neva couldn't blame other people for trying to decipher him.

She was just wise to the knowledge that Jungkook was a puzzle that could never be solved.

He wasn't built to be scrutinised or studied, but to be admired and appreciated as he was, instead.

Jungkook was no saint, though nor was he a sinner. He was a mess of the memories that plagued his mind and of the musings that he muted. Life hadn't been horrible to him, and he'd been rewarded with many of the good things, but he'd also been dealt his fair share of the shitty things, too. He was a product of the mundane, with a fear of monotony.

Neva only knew all of this because she'd learnt the hard way, many moons ago, that he'd only open up if you gave him the space he needed to run away again. It's not that he would... he just liked having the option to. It felt safer.

Which was ironic, considering the fact that he himself was a time bomb; red lines counting down until he reached zero. Only then would his secrets be revealed, and only he was lucky enough to be privy to how much time was left until ignition.

Admittedly, much to his shame, there was still a little time left on the detonator that would reveal his parent's divorce to Neva.

He would tell her. He would. Just not yet.

Telling her meant speaking it into reality; it meant accepting the fact that love didn't last. Jungkook saw so much of his father in himself, and it terrified him that his fate would be shared. The knowledge that his mother was an angel, much like the girl beside him, was enough to show him that even the most patient of people have their limits. Surely, one day, Neva would reach hers.

And then what would come of Jungkook? If he could hold onto her for just a little bit longer, then selfishly, he would.

"Are you not gonna-" Neva began to ask as she saw him stare at his ringing phone, a picture of his mother in their local botanical gardens bursting onto the screen.

"I'll call her back later," was the only response that Jungkook could think to muster so quickly to avoid questions. "It won't be anything important."

It was. He knew that she was calling about the fact she'd found a buyer for their family home, and that his father was refusing to budge. He knew that she was calling to ask him if he could get home at the weekend to pack up his childhood bedroom. She'd already sent him half a dozen texts, all of which he had ignored.

If he buried his head in the sand for long enough, then surely it would compact in his canals and stop him from breathing altogether. At least that way, he wouldn't have to deal with it, right?

"I think-" he stammered. "I think I'm going home this weekend. I can give you a lift if you fancy seeing your mum?"

Neva narrowed her eyes curiously. "I'll go if you tell me why you're being so weird."

"I'm not being weird."

"You're being weird."

"I'm not."

"You are."

"Neva."

"Jungkook."

He sighed, his lips settling into an exasperated smile. "You're the worst. I'm not being weird. I just have some family stuff I have to do this weekend that I'm not looking forward to."

"Want me to help?"

"No," he pulled her in, pressing a kiss against her hair. He didn't want her to think that he was rejecting her, as such. It was the situation more than anything. "It's fine. Thank you, though. I'm only gonna be home for a day, maybe two. I'll give you a lift home and we can make a little road trip out of it, if you want? Stop at the cheesecake shop you love so much on the way back?"

One mention of cheesecake and Neva was sold.

"Fine, you've convinced me," she smiled, raising her head slightly so that she could pinch a tiny kiss from his lips.

He'd never grow tired of the way she stole his breath.

"Good. C'mon," he nudged his nose against hers. "There are some stalls I wanna look at before they shut the fair down."

Guiding her up, Jungkook took Neva's bag as they stood, hooking it over his shoulder. He held her hand loosely as they walked, though there was an adroitness to the way their pinkies would never unlink, even as they were looking in different directions. He'd pull her along to the stalls he wanted to look at, and she'd pull him right back when she wasn't yet done with the previous one.

Neva had the worst habit of needing to touch everything that even looked remotely soft, and Jungkook had an even worse habit of wanting Neva to try on every single stupid hat or pair of glasses they came across.

They were every vendor's worst nightmare - particularly given the fact that they rarely ever actually bought anything - but it was impossible to be mad at people with smiles as big as theirs.

It wasn't until they were about to leave that Neva spotted a stall she did fancy wasting her money at.

"Kook," she cooed, nodding over towards the small stand, where a girl was sat with her wrist over a delicate pillow. Opposite the girl was a member of the silversmithing society with a tiny handheld welder, soldering a chain link of a bracelet together. "Permanent bracelets. You can't take them off."

"What about airports?"

Neva shrugged, not thinking too much of it. "People go through with piercings all the time, don't they? I'm sure it's the same difference."

"I'm not so sure," he hummed, to which Neva replied that she didn't care, dragging him along with her regardless.

Jungkook watched on fondly as the silversmith spoke through the procedure, and he couldn't help but find himself distracted by the curve of her neck. Her hair was up in a ponytail, her jumper edged off her shoulder, leaving one of his favourite parts of her exposed. He wondered if anyone else ever looked at the slope of her shoulder and up the curve of her neck and wanted to smother it in uncorrupted kisses just as much as he did. He doubted it.

So distracted by the small light sparking above Neva's delicate wrist, soldering the metal together, Jungkook didn't notice a girl taking the seat by the vacant table opposite him.

"Are you after one too?" she asked kindly, making sure she had all the correct tools. Jungkook turned, a little startled. "It's buy-one-get-one-half-price for couples. You're together, aren't you?" She nodded over towards Neva.

"Oh," Jungkook said with an awkward smile. "Not, like, together. We're here together - but we're not together together."

"Well, you could have fooled me," the girl gave him a knowing smile, as if to tell him that he really needed to stop lying. "The offer still counts though. It's being here together that matters, not being together together," she teased him lightly. "It's like a friendship bracelet."

He thought for a second, looking at the delicate links of chain that were laid out on the table. He'd always liked wearing bracelets, and he sort of liked the idea of permanence, despite his crippling phobia of it also.

"Sure. Go for it," he relented, taking the empty seat in front of him. "She hasn't paid yet?" - The girl shook her head. - "Alright, cool. I'll cover it. How much?"

Business tackled, Jungkook wasn't really listening as the procedure was explained. It was simple enough. He was too busy looking at the offering of small stones encased in silver that could be added to the soldered link.

Catching his line of vision, the girl who was measuring the chain around his wrist smiled. "We can add your birthstone, if you like. What's your birth month?"

"September," he didn't hesitate with his answer. Neva had already drilled all things astrology into his subconscious. "It's sapphire, right? Blue?"

"You know your stuff," the girl said, pleased to not have to explain it for the nth time that day.

"What about December? That's turquoise right?"

"Yes and no," the girl shrugged. "December has a couple, but they're all blue. We're just using coloured glass, 'cause no one on campus has the money for actual gemstones. The September glass is darker in colour, the December glass is pale, look."

She held up the tiny beds, which hooked onto the chain link before being soldered together. They were both pretty, but Jungkook had his heart set on only one of them. Nodding towards the lighter stone, he tried to hide a smile, dimple forming. "December, please."

The girl chose not to ask. It wasn't her place to intrude, and, frankly, she preferred the lighter blue, so she thought he was making a good choice.

It wasn't until Neva was attempting to settle her bill that she realised Jungkook was also getting one, too.

"Cute, aren't they?" she grinned as they convened by the edge of the small tent, holding up her wrist. A ray of sun caught on the blue glass as she moved, casting a delicate pattern down her wrist. "Even got my birthstone. Kinda. They only had glass."

Jungkook smirked, nodding. "I know."

She was a terrible liar, but he wouldn't call her out for it - he'd just do the same.

"I got mine, too," he held his wrist up next to hers, causing Neva to startle a little, expecting their stones to match and reveal what she'd actually done.

Her breath caught in her throat as she looked down, greeted by the sight of something all the more puzzling.

Jungkook's glass was a pale periwinkle, while Neva's was a deep royal blue. Sapphire blue, some may have argued.

"We both have blue birthstones," Jungkook noted. "Huh, how about that? What a coincidence."

"Serendipity," she hummed, as he took her hand and pressed a kiss across her knuckles, before leading them back over the grass of the campus green.

They both knew that they'd gotten each other's birthstones, and neither one of them would stop being a coward for long enough to admit it.

Permanence. Jungkook feared it.

And yet he'd had a bracelet welded onto his wrist with a stone that would commemorate an annual celebration of Neva's life on it. That seemed like a pretty continual declaration of... something.

The '+4' doodles would fade from her skin, and maybe one day the bracelet would snap.

But the way he felt about her wouldn't.

Permanence. Neva embodied the very essence of it.

And Jungkook wasn't sure if that made it even more terrifying, or eradicated the fear altogether.

↬↬↬↬↬

a/n - i'd like to confirm that it took so long to update because I did not, in fact, survive the butter era. the butter era is still on-going but I? Dappleddaisies? Holly (insert full name here)? I simply am not on-going. RIP. It's been nice knowing you all x

I have like the next two updates pretty much ready so hopefully they'll be up v v soon!!

Also if you need me, I've been crying over this for like 28 hours, so don't expect to get coherent responses from me anytime soon lmao

Someone also asked if I could make a playlist for you up? And I would love love love to, so look out for that soon!! The OG version of this when it was still called 'talk' had a song rec at the start of each chapter but I am lazy lol

ANYWAYS, ITS THE FINAL FEW HOURS OF THE TRACKING WEEK, STREAM BUTTER, MY LOVES X

Edit: also just incase anyone is confused by the bracelets, they basically have no clasp and are welded together instead so that they can't come off. They're super tiny, dainty chains and look kinda like this: