a/n: hello! these are additional chapters that come midway through the story - not a bonus chapter at the end of the story. they come after jungkook freaks and says 'we should stop this'.

this is chapter 5 of 5.

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There was an atmosphere in Neva's room that confused her; one that she hadn't been anticipating feeling for quite a while, and most definitely not with Jungkook. Especially not after the stunt he'd pulled.

But she was drunk, and he was half naked - what more could you expect from her? For her to refuse his advances?

Not that he'd really made any, but there was something deliberate about the way he'd chosen to strip himself of his shirt. He'd want her thinking about him in a way that wasn't suitable between friends; in a way that went against everything he'd tried to establish a week prior.

"Let me look," she whispered, eyes on his. "At those tiny tattoos you say I've given you. Come closer. Let me look."

He held himself back for a moment, until she extended her arm out for him. She was within arms reach, and so his hand naturally found hers like a pair of connecting magnets. He let her pull him towards her, zero resistance.

And then she decided that tonight's mistakes could be blamed on tomorrow's hangover. If she were to only get Jungkook in this position for one last time, she wanted to make it worth it.

"Can I give you another one?" She said so quietly her voice almost cracked. "One final tiny tattoo for you to preserve?"

He hated the way 'final' sounded coming from her lips.

But he also needed them on his skin, and so he nodded. "Please."

Sat on the edge of her bed as he stood next to it, Neva let her hands rest on his hips. There'd always been something she loved about his torso; how strong he was, but how his tiny little belly would puff out after a good meal or a few too many drinks. So cute, she always thought, even when he was berating himself for it.

Pressing her lips against his sternum, she noticed a stutter in his chest. He could feel her lips curve, pleased with the effect she was still able to have on him, even after all this time; after everything. Soft against his hard exterior, he didn't want to lose the way her lips felt.

And so when she looked up, her dark eyes meeting with his to ask for permission to undo his belt, he granted it with a nod - though she really didn't need to ask.

Truthfully, when he had started getting undressed, he'd hoped that this was the direction things would go in. Didn't wanna count on it. Didn't wanna get ahead of himself. Knew he was being selfish when he was the one who had ended things between them. How dare he still be bold enough to want her in such a way. Had he no shame?

"I never wanted to give this up," he whispered, thumb stroking against her cheek as she slid his belt through its buckle. She tilted her head, tongue flat between her open lips as she took his thumb between them. Eyes closed, mouth wet and warm and just how he loved it, Jungkook cursed. She moaned against him, the vibration causing his dick to throb in his boxers.

When she opened her eyes, she smiled. "I never made you. This is your choice."

As much as she wanted to pretend like she didn't give a fuck, she also knew that if she didn't want to lose him entirely, then she had to give him a reason to keep coming back. It was a little sad, a little lame, the way she was willing to perform for him - but God damn it, she just wanted him to want her.

The way his cock bulged in his briefs, thick and swollen at the prospect of her lips wrapping around it, should have been indication enough of how badly he wanted her, even if he was too much of a coward to admit it.

"I'm still mad at you," she whispered as she began to slowly push his underwear down, breath hitching in her throat as his solid cock sprung free. Thick and proud, a little curved and absolutely made for her, his cock was impossible to resist.

His fingers rested in her hair, cradling her head so tenderly she was almost taken aback by how gentle he was being. "I know you are."

"And we're not just friends," she added. "After this, we're not friends at all."

It would have stung like the aftermath of a thousand paper cuts if he'd actually believed her words. He knew he'd fucked up, but didn't think he'd fucked up enough for her to cut him out entirely.

And see, Neva didn't believe it either - but she had him vulnerable, cock hard, practically naked. If she was going to hurt his pride, it would be now. He deserved it, and she didn't feel bad for it, but she also absolutely knew that she'd been lost for this past week without his friendship.

As fucked up as it all felt, she knew she needed him. Maybe for her own gratification, maybe for the simple fact that he felt like home in a foreign city, or maybe just because their souls were always meant to be side by side. It didn't matter.

"Here's to not being friends," Jungkook smiled down at her, and had to stop himself from pulling her up for a kiss. So desperately he wanted to sink his lips down into hers, but that really did feel like breaking a boundary. Kissing was far too intimate.

"To our lack of friendship," she simpered as her hands began to work his shaft, thick and throbbing in her palms.

It was something he'd experienced a thousand times over in his lifetime, but every single time felt like the first. Something about her hands, her lips, her tongue, her warm, wet mouth always felt new. Exciting. Once in a lifetime. Euphoric.

This was no exception, as her pretty pouted lips began to pepper kisses down his length. His fingers found their way to her hair, gently playing with it. Now was no time to be rough. She was doing him a favour, after all.

Their faux lack of friendship had Jungkook smiling. In fact, he'd have argued that this actually quite very friendly.

The way her tongue licked around the tip of his cock, leaky with precum, before trailing down his shaft also had him thinking that neither of them understood the meaning of friendship, anymore.

"Jesus," he cursed, watching the way her lashes splayed across the tops of her cheeks, lips wet and wanting as she took his length in her mouth, working up and down his thick shaft. "You have any idea how good that feels?"

He hit the back of her throat, the sound of it obscene, and enough to make his balls feel all tight and needy.

"Mouths all feel the same, no?" she questioned, genuinely a little curious, but mainly because she knew she'd get an ego boost from his response. She might have accused him of playing her like a fiddle earlier, but she was a master violinist in her own right.

"Fuck, Eva. No, no they don't," he cursed as her spare hand massaged his balls. "Never fucked a mouth that feels anything like yours. Could fuck your mouth forever."

In all honesty, he didn't love blowjobs. Avoided them when he could with other girls. Always felt a little bit cringed out watching them struggle with his cock. He didn't find it sexy watching them, just felt a bit bad. The vulnerability made it too much for him. Poor girls.

But he enjoyed Neva.

Enjoyed her so much more than he'd ever been able to experience with another person. Loved the way her lashes would splay on her cheeks, the ease of her pretty dark eyes no matter if they were open or closed. He fucking adored the way she looked when her face was all fucked out, nose blushed, lashline, too.

He often thought he could die happy if he got the luxury of her mouth worshipping his cock for just a little while longer.

The feeling was mutual.

She always liked how weak he was when he was in her mouth, her tongue licking at his frenulum, lips suckling on him like a lollipop. He liked it wet, and he liked it messy, and she was more than willing to get a little dirty.

Covered in her spit, the sound of her gag reflex being hit acting as the soundtrack for their heady exchange, Jungkook was in fucking heaven. His hands scrunched into her hair, pulling her just that little bit deeper onto his cock.

She was the only one.

The only fucking one.

It didn't take long - a few more moans, and a couple more attempts at hitting the back of her throat - until Jungkook found himself releasing; pouring his cum down her throat like an abstract painter. He'd coat her in the brightest shades, only for them to dry clear, just like the marks he claimed she left all over him. A secret between the pair of them; an acknowledgement made in the dead of night under new moons and crystal skies.

He'd never tell a soul, and neither would she. It wouldn't be discussed, but why would it need to be? Something about their souls, and the fact that they seemed to share one, meant that unspoken words were enough.

Jungkook was good at that; admitting the way he felt without vocalising it - but Neva was nervous in her assumptions, and never trusted them.

She had trusted that he loved her once, only for him to prove her otherwise.

He cradled her jaw as she pulled away, kitten licking up his firm shaft, swallowing back everything he was. There was a sheen to her lips - her eyes, too - blush on her cheeks and a smile threatening to break as she looked up towards him.

"You're welcome," she hummed with one final lick of her tongue against his sensitive head. He shook a little, knees weak, tummy doing that thing he always hated after a good orgasm. Some would call it butterflies. Jungkook would call it a nuisance.

"Don't remember saying thank you," he husked with a smile, knocking his head to the side, tapping against her knee. She was still cross-legged on the edge of her bed, and feeling defiant - but the softness of his eyes compared with the rasp of his voice had her feeling all fuzzy.

"Don't have to," she shrugged, following the direction of his tap, rolling onto her back. She kept her legs together, but Jungkook didn't really pay much notice as he let his trousers fall to the floor, his underwear following suit. His hand tapped at her knee again, encouraging them to part, this time.

There was something so familiar, so safe, about the way he crawled onto her bed and between her legs.

Knees on either side of her ass, he hooked her legs over his thighs. Neva was sad to not have the luxury of his body weight on hers, but half thought perhaps it was better. She didn't want him to hear how fast her heart was beating.

He adjusted himself, the tip of his still firm cock pressing against the inside of her upper thigh. Sex was off the cards tonight - she drew her limits of vulnerability there - but the sensation had her fucking leaking.

"I'm gonna say thank you," he told her, gingerly pushing the hem of her shirt up to reveal the lace of her underwear. He'd never get sick of the way she looked in lace; how the slickness of her arousal seeped through it, letting him know just how badly she always wanted him.

He leant down and pressed kisses against the bottom of her ribs, her sternum, the flat expanse above her belly button.

"You want that, right?" he asked, purely to hear her voice again. "You wanna see how grateful I am? Wanna see how thankful I am for how well you suck my cock?"

"It'd be polite," she conceded, not really wanting to give him the satisfaction of begging for it. She was still frustrated with everything that had happened - but she was also so painfully turned on that she could feel herself throb with every stroke of his flat palms up her thighs. "I know you were raised to say your 'pleases' and 'thank yous'."

He nodded. Licked his lips. Inhaled so deeply she could see his chest expand and decompress, his body lit like art beneath her fairy lights.

Neva's eyes were so intently focused that she was blind to his imperfections. He was a masterpiece worthy of a frame and red rope around him. Stay away, the ropes would scream - a little like the red flags that seemed to follow him, too.

"So say it," she whispered. "Thank me like you know you should."

Pushing her thighs apart, he let his eyes meet her underwear. Bottom lips nestled beneath his teeth, he shook his head. "Say please."

Neva smiled. Rolled her eyes. Looked at him with stars in her fucking eyes, heart on her sleeve. "Fuck you."

Fair enough, he thought as a laugh escaped his pretty lips, teeth on full show.

There was a rustle as he moved further down the bed, her takeout bag still by the foot of it. He didn't really think much of it as he tossed it down beside the bed, but he held back from tossing the bottle of water, too.

Instead, he cracked it open, and took a sip. Offered it to her, but she shook her head, a little bemused. Figured that he was a little dehydrated from the alcohol, and wasn't gonna complain at him preparing his mouth to say a proper thankyou.

Bottle in hand, he took a second to contemplate what he should do next.

"Don't move," he whispered, knowing that his next move depended on Neva staying right where she was.

Her chest was already moving far faster and heavier than was really ideal - but he had a point to prove and a statement to make; one that he'd surely regret in the morning when he was sober, but one that felt so important to him at that moment. It was a statement he wasn't sure he believed, but one that he wanted to be true. And that was enough.

She nodded, and he repeated a similar command. "Stay still."

"I'm still," she laughed, her torso moving involuntarily from her confusion.

"Still, baby," he encouraged again, and finally she simmered her lungs. "That's it."

He pressed another kiss between her ribs. Down her torso. Stopped short of her belly button. And then he repeated it again. "Still."

And so she did as she was told; almost perfectly still, save for the contractions of her chest.

Jungkook sat upright looking down at Neva in a way that had her chest feeling all tight and fuzzy.

There was clear trepidation in his movements; his shoulders rising and falling in time with the beat of his heart. That nuisance fluttering in his stomach wouldn't quiet down. He hoped she'd have one nagging at hers, too.

Neva watched him with great intrigue. It was almost like she was watching one of those foreign films they adored. She didn't care to make up Jungkook's dialogue, though. For once, she wanted to hear his words exactly as they were.

But Jungkook was silent as he poured a little water been her ribs and watched it sink down her sternum; right down to her belly button.

Just a little. Just enough. Just the right amount for a shot.

Placing the bottle beside her bed, he let his lips work back down her torso until they met her navel - and though he knew better than do something so blatant, he couldn't help himself.

His hands were on her waist, treasuring her body as he began to press kisses against her stomach.

His tongue flicked into the shallow dip of her middle like a fucking dog. His lips pouted, locking around the small puddle - and then he inhaled, sucking it into his mouth.

He was taking a shot. Swallowing it down. Screaming his feelings in a silent room.

The weight of his actions pressed against Neva's chest like a ten-tonne brick on her heart. Her breaths began to increase, but Jungkook didn't glance up. He didn't want to acknowledge what he'd just done. Feared that maybe he was wrong. Was terrified that Neva would be looking at him in horror.

But then her fingers began to toy with his hair, scratching against his scalp. He knew she was encouraging him to come up towards her, but he shook his head. "Haven't said thank you, yet."

Pressing down on the backs of her thighs, spreading her open for him, Jungkook wanted to distract her. Get her thinking of things that didn't involve a stupid teenage bet and the feelings they represented.

He could smell her arousal, and that alone had him keening for the taste. His lips slowly pressed down on the wet fabric of her underwear, and he found himself both suffocated and kept alive by everything Neva was.

"Shit," she husked, her back arching for him like it always did. Repeating his movements, he began to suck against her panties, suctioning at her clit through the fabric. Her hips moved upwards, encouraging the sensation, deepening it. He could do this for hours.

His index finger slid beneath the fabric as he pulled away from her with laboured breaths, slowly moving the lace that was keeping him from his favourite view.

She was so pretty and perfect and - when she was like this - all his. He spread her lips apart, watching the way her arousal leaked from her entrance, moaning from the sight alone.

"God, look at you," he mewled. Embarrassment flushed over her features, one of her hands covering her face, only serving to make him laugh. He reached up to hold her hand, pulling her arm down from her precious little face. "You know I love it. Pussy this perfect would have been wasted on Tae, by the way," he made sure to tell her. "He wouldn't know what you do with it."

Neva scoffed back a laugh at how childish he was, even in a situation as mature as this. "And who's to say you do?"

There was nothing Jungkook loved more than a challenge; which is exactly what she was giving him with a raised brow and a saccharine smirk on her lips.

He accepted it, pressing his tongue into her folds, working his tongue against her like he hadn't eaten for days. Breath hot and heavy against her, he moaned around her clit, sucking and releasing, his tongue toying with her the entire time. It was a surefire way to get her squirming, and he knew it.

He smirked; sank his middle finger into her tight entrance. Nodded as she cursed. Fuck. Like that.

And finally, he answered her question. "You do, Eva."

His lips pressed dainty kisses against her folds, tongue licking against her entrance, intruding just to hear her gasp in that same way she always did. His grip on her thighs tightened, and he found himself rutting into her mattress a little as he devoured her. What he wouldn't give to fuck her raw right now, Jesus fucking Christ.

He knew he couldn't though; knew it wouldn't be fair to take things that far.

He languidly shakes his head as he sucks on her sweetest spot, tongue stroking against her as he moans. Her scent, her taste, it's everything and more. He wants to exhaust her of it, eat her forever, wear her pussy like fucking perfume.

Crazy what a little bit of lust can do to a man. Even the strongest of soldiers can fall.

But perhaps that was the issue. Perhaps he already had.

It wouldn't be the most absurd thing for him to have done. He'd done it once before. In his heart of hearts, he knows it's why he cut things off so prematurely this time. He'd been scared; afraid of what it could mean. He'd broken both of their hearts once before, and he didn't think he could live with the pain of that again.

Eyes closed, lost in the way he felt, Neva was thinking he was the only thing she could ever need. She was still a little drunk, still a little mad at him - but fuck. It was so hard to be furious when he made her feel so good.

"Keep it like that," she husked, his fingers grazing at her most sensitive spot. Her back arched, legs wrapping around his head to keep him close. He moaned against her, not wanting to break the pace, but needing her to know how badly he adored her cunt.

Curse words tumble from her lips, her fingers knotting in his hair as a similar knot in her stomach unravels. The way she tenses around him, her orgasm hitting in a way that it never could without his help, has her panting. Mewling. Keening for him. She needed more. Needed him.

And so he didn't stop. He kept going, and going, and going, until - "Kook, I gotta stop, gotta- Fuck. I can't take it."

Broken speech mewled from her pretty lips, all Jungkook wanted to do was kiss her; have her tasting herself from his tongue. Over stimulated and outrageously in awe of what his mouth could do, she laughed in her come down.

Happy, he mused of her, and thought that he was, too.

Sitting back up on his heels, Jungkook explored her half-naked body with his eyes. His chest was filled with so much adoration that he began to scare himself. It's not gonna end well. Not gonna end well at all.

And then she's laughing; her cheeks rosy, dimples deep, eyes shut so peacefully he thinks she looks like heaven in human form. It's dangerous. She makes him feel like sinning. He doesn't wanna make her do the same. Doesn't want her to fall from grace. Doesn't wanna fall.

But then he remembered the fucking water in her belly button, and the way they both knew exactly what he meant by it, and then he's panicking.

He knows he took it too far. Knows he probably fucked it all over again.

But he hasn't fucked her, so at least that's something.

He's stroking her thighs, eyes all glossy as he says, "thank you."

She doesn't even really remember what he was saying thank you for. Just knows that she feels like saying it back.

"Shut up," he smiles when she does. He scoots her to the side and crawls down beside her, keeping a little distance. He doesn't snuggle into her like she so desperately wants him to. Instead, he just looks at her. Sighs. Contemplates what the fuck he's doing.

She doesn't want to be the first to break the silence, so she does the same. Observes the way his eyes travel around her face, how there's a small lift to his lips despite the fact he's almost frowning. There was something so deliriously pretty about Jungkook in moments like these; laid bare for her to admire like a God of a bygone era. So handsome, so stoic, it was a wonder she could ever form a coherent thought around him.

Neva's eyes were so warm. Welcoming. Hi, honey. You're home.

Jungkook knew it was his fault that she was looking at him like this. All his fault.

"Shit," he sighed, rolling onto his back, pushing a hand through his hair. He much preferred when it was her fingers tangled in his hair.

Eyes on her ceiling and focused on the glow-in-the-dark stars, he was hard to read.

But that sinking feeling was back in Neva's chest. She knew exactly what was about to happen, and so she took charge this time.

Sitting up, legs crossed, shirt falling back down to cover her modesty, she smiled at Jungkook.

"You should go, now."

"Hmm?" he turned his head to look at her, his round eyes soft as he tried to assess her mood. Her voice was sweet, smile sincere. His brows came to furrow, and it made Neva question everything she knew.

He'd tell her one thing, then make her feel the complete opposite.

"You said we should stop," she reminded him, and he could see that behind her eyes there was a little hurt. Fairy lights could make her look so beautiful, but they couldn't hide her pain. "I think if you stay... I dunno, Kook. I think it could make things a little messy."

He could still taste her on his tongue. Things were already messy.

Foolishly, Neva watched his gaze and hoped it meant he didn't agree. The confusion that wrapped itself around his pretty little features, sinking into the lines in his face, was so delightfully misleading, for she actually thought he'd ask to stay.

Foolish.

"Yeah," he agreed instead, in such a way that it almost sounded like a question - until he repeated it, a little more sure of himself. "Yeah, yeah. You're right. Sorry. I took that too far."

"Mhmm," she nodded. And then that smile was back; the one that Jungkook should have known was false but convinced himself was as real as the moans that had escaped it just a few minutes prior. "Shit happens."

It was agreed that a conversation was needed when they were sober, and they settled on the following evening. 6 PM. Just like they should have done instead of heading Hobi's that evening.

Neva forced him to pinky promise that he'd be there. "No takebacks. We gotta talk."

He nodded. Agreed. "We gotta talk."