FEET UP ON Jungkook's dash, Neva was a harlequin dream, dressed far too well for Namjoon's basement. Hand gripping her thigh, Jungkook knew she felt like she had something to prove.

She was in all black, like always, a satin mini dress hugging her figure and pooling at the crease of her thigh.  Jungkook had whistled when he first saw her, teeth denting his bottom lip, eyes glossy with unadulterated adoration.  

"You're gonna break some hearts tonight, baby girl," he'd whispered fondly as he opened the car door, obsessed with the way her heels clicked against the concrete slabs that led from her front door to the street.

There was only one heart she was interested in that evening, and she wasn't planning on breaking it. 

Truth be told, she was a little terrified of him breaking hers instead.  It was the real reason she hadn't been to any parties with him over the winter break, too fearful of a vaguely familiar face making an appearance, or someone deciding to make a sly dig about what had happened at their graduation party.

But the hold Jungkook had on her leg, as they turned down familiar roads, felt different now than it had done back in high school. 

Back then, it had been borderline timid, like his fingers tips were grasping for the tiniest amount of contact, scared of something - both to hold on, and to let go. 

Now? 

Well, now he held on so tightly that it felt like he really was scared to lose her.

Of course he was.

He knew now what it was like to live without her. He never wanted to live through that again, and would go to the ends of the earth to make sure he could keep her close, in whatever capacity he could.

The city lights rolled against the windows, illuminating Neva's lover like a firework display, colouring him in hues bright enough to blind. With his eyes on the road, she watched as oranges and greens picked out the contours of his handsome face. She'd never get tired of it - tired of him.

"You're so pretty," she smiled adoringly, to which he laughed.

"That's not a compliment," he quipped, though the grin on his face begged to differ.

"It is," she promised - and she really meant it. 

Now that his hair was shorter, he'd taken to wearing it pushed back, exposing his features. Before, his doe-eyes used to peak through his fringe, averting all attention to them, but now the rest of his face was on full display; his sharp jaw, well-defined neck, soft brows and earnest expressions. 

Jungkook could be read like a book, and Neva wanted to check him out from the library indefinitely. 

Or just check him out. Either, or. 

Shaking his head lightly Jungkook gave Neva's thigh a gentle squeeze. He could sense her nerves.

"Wanna just drive for a bit? I don't fancy partying just yet," he fibbed. It was just a white lie, a little one that would do no harm. He knew that she wasn't ready to face the music yet, and didn't want to force her into a situation that would make her uncomfortable. 

Neva took a moment to respond, watching the buildings, which she had once known like the back of her hand, roll on by. There for a moment, and then gone again. It was a simple pleasure, getting lost and found in a town that had once felt too big for her. Now, it felt too small.

"Cliffs?" she suggested.

Jungkook didn't answer, instead knocking his gear stick down into second, before turning a corner towards the cliff edges on the outskirts. He'd go wherever Neva wanted, just to be with her. 

Like always, when they reached the cliffs, they hopped out of his car and laid on the roof, not saying much, just existing next to one another. Waves crashing at the bottom of the cliffs soundtracked the moment, a heady anticipating dwelling in the air around them like heavy fog.

"We don't have to go," Jungkook offered, voice quiet.

"Yeah we do," Neva replied, dark hair pooling around her shoulders, squeezing his hand. "I wanna go. I'm just..."

There was so much to be said in the empty space that Neva left at the end of her sentence; so much that had already been repeated a thousand times, but also words that she would never speak. 

It wasn't for a lack of trust, or hesitation to tell him her innermost thoughts, but instead, it was simply a telltale sign that she knew he already understood. Like telepathy, she never had to make herself vulnerable to him. Their fears were shared. Hopes, too.

And so she never had to worry. Not really. Not now.

Of course, that didn't stop her from worrying, and it didn't stop them from awkwardly tiptoeing around things that they already knew.

"I get it," he nodded. "Look, Eva-"

"It's fine, Kook," she interrupted warmly. He didn't need to explain.

But he wanted to. He wanted her to know that he knew it was his fault she had reservations.

"No... It's-" Jungkook sighed.  "It's not fine," he struggled to get his sentence out, crippled by the same anxiety that had prompted him to make such terrible decisions in the past. He had learned from that now, though. Grown from it. "I know I've fucked up in the past, and that I've made things difficult. Everything I've done... I just... It's different now. I'm different now. I promise you I'll never make the same mistakes I did before. You know I..."

As if they were cut from the same cloth, Jungkook let his words linger, saying nothing and everything all once.

Neva was silent for a moment, too. "I know you won't."

"I am sorry," he spoke, a little forlorn. "I'm sorry for everything."

Jungkook knew he didn't deserve a second chance. It was easy to pretend like everything was normal when it was just the two of them. It's why he liked being at home with her so much; they could shut the outside world away. 

When confronted with their friends, their peers, their hometown ghosts, it wasn't so easy.

Neva would walk into that room with Jungkook on her arm, with full knowledge that the last time she had entered a party in their city with him, she'd left alone. 

It was daunting, even when she felt completely secure in their newfound 'situationship'.

"'Everything' is quite a lot," she whispered to him, with a small squeeze on his arm. "You don't need to apologise for everything."

"I do," he whispered right back.

"Even the good stuff?" she toyed, not wanting to dwell any further on their past.

Shaking his head fondly, Jungkook leant over to press a kiss against her forehead. "No, not the good stuff. Never the good stuff."

And with that, Neva encouraged the pair of them down from his car roof and into their seats, with the promise from here on out, they'd only ever experience the good stuff, together.

"We've got this," she vowed.

He smiled. "We've got this."

Whatever 'this' is. 

It didn't really matter. 

What mattered was the 'we'; the collectivization of Neva and Jungkook as a unit, a pair, team, and, dare either of them say it, a couple.

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a/n: 

okay so i lied when i said there was a party scene up next lol

i had good stuff by griff in my head for the duration of writing this, hence the title and some of the general mood of this chapter lmao

you can thanks a 10 hour (ew) layover for this chapter, and then two weeks of quarantine should hopefully mean more updates?? like my normal kinda upload pattern instead of the last few weeks lol

thank you for all the love on you up lately, I appreciate it heaps 🥺

xxx