CHAPTER 40

I sit up straight as I can't believe what I am reading. 

05/07/91

Today is the day my perfect life turned upside down.

My three month year old son is missing. Three months! He isn’t even a year old. 

I don’t even know how I'm supposed to be feeling right now. I just feel numb, as if a part of me has been taken away. 

I woke up this morning at 4:00 AM due to hearing the cries of Kaiden. I fed him and changed his nappy and then went back to sleep. 

Dave left for work at 10:00 AM, leaving Kaiden and me in the house. Kaiden woke up and I fed him. I put him in his hangout area with all his toys and started cleaning the mess in the living room as well as keeping my eye on him.

At 3:00 PM I decided to take him upstairs to his room so he could take a nap. As soon as I put him to sleep, I started ironing some clothes with the door closed. I had the baby monitor but I got carried away that I didn’t even realise it was off. 

An hour later, once I realised the baby monitor was off, I quickly put it on. My ears were met with silence. Instantly, I went to check up on him, expecting to see him giggling, wide awake. Only, once I walked into his room, I was met with an empty cot with nothing else. 

I cried hysterically as I ran out of the house searching for my baby. My neighbour Phillip walked towards me, trying to calm me down instantly as if he knew what was happening. 'I have to find Kaiden,' I kept repeating over and over. His firm hands gripped my wrists as he said 'Debbie you need to calm down, you reacting like this won’t help Kaiden in any way.'

'I need to find my baby.'

'No, you need to rest,' he replied. Easily, he pushed my fragile body inside the house as he put me in my room before leaving the house. Quickly, I ran to the house phone and dialled 999.

 'Hello, what is your emergency?' Asked the operator. I tried to control my sobs as I informed her about my situation. 

After I hung up the phone, I rang Dave and told him to come home. He came home within an instant and once I explained everything to him, he tried to act strong but I could see that he was also broken.

The doorbell rang and we both walked towards the door. There were a police officer who looked sympathetic. 'I am D.C Collins and you have reported your missing son, is that correct?'

'Yes, it is, come in,' Dave replied as he let Collins inside. Dave led Collins to the living room and he said 'I'm sorry this has happened to you but we will do everything to find your son.' The tension became unbearable and I left the room, walking upstairs to our bedroom.

That explains why I'm here sitting on my bed, writing in my diary; hoping that my son will be found.

'Kiera are you okay?' Dan's voice brings me back into reality and as a result, I close the diary shut. 'I'm fine.'

'Are you sure?' He asks curiously as he closely watches my facial expression.

'Yes Dan, I'm sure,' I sigh.

'Okay, I'm just checking because I'm going out and I don't know how long I’ll be.'

'Okay,' I reply faking a smile. He returns it, only his isn’t fake and he leaves the house. I look at the clock on the wall directly in front of me which reads 19:25 PM. 

I pull my hair into a messy bun as I put on a black hoodie. I put the diary under my pillow as I leave the house.

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Ten minutes later, I find myself outside Phillip's old house. I remember the new neighbours moving in to his house when I was three. I kept my distance, it was my parents they were close with. 

I bring myself together before knocking softly on the door. 'Kiera, what are you doing here?' Myra asks as she opens the door, her voice full of shock.

 'I just came to ask if you knew where Phillip moved house to.'

'Phillip as in the previous owner of the house?' She asks and I nod my head, confirming her suspicion.

 'No, I don't know where he went.'

'Okay,' I sigh sadly.

 'I know that's not the answer you were looking for and I'm sorry I couldn't be much help.'

'It’s okay,' I state, pretending.

 'How are you?' She asks trying to change the subject.

 'Fine, I guess.'

'Do you want to come in?' She asks. I open my mouth to reply but Lucy's hand on my shoulder prevents me form saying anything.

 'No thanks, I'll see you later.'

'Okay,' she smiles as she closes the door.

 'What do you want?' I ask as I want to be alone.

 'What's up with you?'

'Answer my question,' I reply bored at the current conversation.

 'I was at Kara's house and I came here because I saw you.'

'Well you can go back there,' I retort and she rolls her eyes.

 'Kiera what's wrong?'

'Nothing,' I reply a little too quickly.

 'Well whatever it is, you can tell me when you're in a happier mood.' I scoff at her reply as I shake my head.

 'Whatever Lucy, I have to go,' I say as I walk away from her.

-----------

I ring Elaine's doorbell and she opens the door a while later. 'Kiera, what a nice surprise?' I flash her a small smile and she pulls me inside.

'What are you doing here?' Liz asks as she walks downstairs.

 'I could ask you the same thing.'

'I had a pretty big argument with my mum and I don’t want to go back home now.' I nod my head, pretending to be interested.

 'Liz, your mother just wants what is best for you,’ Elaine says as she looks at Liz.

'No, she can't accept the fact that I don’t want to go to the university here. I want to go to Manchester. I’ve been telling her for years and now she acts like this?' Liz replies and it’s obvious that she's annoyed. 'What university are you going to?' Liz asks as she faces me.

 'I'm just going to get changed, I'll talk to you in a bit,’ Elaine says and I nod before she walks upstairs. 

'Well?' Liz asks annoyed.

 'What?'

'Answer my question.'

'I don’t know yet.'

'Well where have you been accepted into?' She asks as she waits for my answer.

 'New Castle, London, Manchester-'

'Oh my God, are you being serious?'

'No, I'm lying being the liar that I am,' I reply sarcastically and she sighs loudly.

 'I didn't mean it like that.'

'I really don’t care how you meant it Liz, you meant it.'

'No I didn’t,' she replies defensively.

 'Why are you even here? You're so selfish.' I state and she gasps.

 'Rich coming from you.'

'I'm not selfish. You want to go to Manchester University when you've been offered a place in London. What the hell is Lola going to think if you just leave her? She'll think you've abandoned her like you did when my dad hit her.'

'How did you know that?' She asks curiously as she narrows her eyes at me.

'That's not important,' I say as I quickly brush it off. Elaine comes back downstairs and Liz says 'I'm going to go home now.'

'Are you sure?' Elaine asks as she puts her hands on Liz's shoulder.

 'Yes, I am.'

'Okay.' Elaine nods as she walks into the kitchen.

 'Kiera, I'm sorry for those stuff I said to you at the party,’ Liz says apologetically as she looks at me.

'Whatever Liz.' She places her hand on my arm and continues, 'I know that "sorry" doesn’t really mean anything and you hate it when people say that but I really am.' I take a deep breath before nodding my head. She takes a step back to look at me. 'You look thin.'

'Shut up Liz.'

'It’s true, look at you,' she replies motioning towards my body.

 'I'm not thin, I'm exactly how I was in the first place.'

'And you actually believe that do you?' She questions.

 'I thought you were going home,' I say, refusing to answer her question. She scoffs loudly before saying 'This conversation isn’t over,' as she walks out of the house. 

I ignore what she just said as I walk into the kitchen. 'What can I do for you Kira?'

'Do you know where Phill lives now? The man that used to be my neighbour.'

'Yes, I happen to know where he lives, he used to be a good friend of mine.'

'Fascinating,’ I sarcastically say. I realise what I said and I quickly apologise.

 'It's fine,' she replies as she gives me an address. 'This is Phill's address.'

'Thank you,' I say sincerely and she smiles at me.

 'You are welcome but why do you even need it?' She questions curiously.

'I just need to talk to him,' I respond, not wanting to explain the reason behind why I want to talk to him.

 'Okay,' she replies as she nods her head.

 'I'm going to go now,' I say and she nods, saying 'Goodbye.'

'Bye,' I reply and I walk out to the house. 

 Now, all I need to do is to think about how I'm going to go to Phill's house.