CHAPTER 37

'Kiera I made you breakfast,' Dan informs me as I walk into the kitchen. I look at the plate and notice it’s full of English breakfast. My stomach churns in disgust and I say 'I'm not hungry.'

'Kiera, this is getting out of hand.'

'No, it got out of hand ages ago,' I reply as I fill my water bottle.

'You need help.'

'No, I don't I'm fine.' 

'Kiera, the sooner you acknowledge that you need help, then the sooner you can receive treatment for this,' he replies quietly and I roll my eyes. He waits for me to reply and once he realises that he isn’t going to receive on, he takes his mobile phone out of his pocket and begins dialling someone. 'Hi, I'd like to make an appointment for Kiera Hayden.'

'What?' I ask loudly. I try to take the phone out of his hands but he locks himself in the bathroom. All I can do is stand outside the bathroom door and listen to the conversation.

He walks out of the bathroom and says 'Kiera you have an appointment at 12, in an hour at the hospital so come on.'

'You had no right to do that,' I coldly say and he sighs.

 'I'm doing this to help you.'

'I haven't asked you for your help.'

'That's the problem, you never ever ask for help Kiera,' he retorts and I scoff walking away from him. 'You are going to that appointment whether you like it or not,' he says as he follows me into the kitchen. I ignore him, hoping that he'll get the hint and shut up. Eventually he takes the hint as silence fills my ears.

----------

'Kiera, its half eleven, hurry up.'

'I'm going to go to the shop first, can you just drop me off there?' He raises his eyebrows at me considering it.

 'Will you run away from the appointment?'

'No, I need to buy a bottle of water and I'll come straight back to the car.'

'Okay,' he replies and I sigh in relief as we leave the house, getting inside the car.

Dan keeps altering the radio stations, searching for something interesting but nothing seems to catch his interest. He parks outside the supermarket and I reach my hand to touch the door handle. Dan grabs my hand and says 'I trust you Kiera, the least you can do is return it by coming back.' I nod my head absentmindedly, walking towards the main entrance. 

My legs find their way to the drink aisle and I grab a water bottle. 'Hey,' I clench my jaw as I hear Lily's voice.

 'What do you want Lily?' I ask, turning to face her.

 'I heard you met up with Joe.'

'So?'

'So, why are you ignoring the rest of us?'

'I'm not ignoring you, I just can't bothered to deal with your immature bull,' she scoffs and says 'Look who's talking.' I roll my eyes and try to walk away but she holds my arm.

'Get off me Lily.'

'I'm sorry.'

'I couldn’t care less,' I reply, hoping this conversation will end soon.

 'Why aren't you replying to my text?'

'I had nothing to say to it.' I shrug my shoulders acting as if it isn't a big deal.

 'Kiera-'

'I'm busy right now Lily.'

'Too busy?' She asks as she folds her arms.

 'I have an appointment at the hospital, now if you’ll excuse me I have places to be.'

'Wait,' she replies not letting go of my hand.

 'What?' I ask, sounding bored.

 'Can you at least meet me by the park tomorrow?'

'Who else will I be meeting? Because I find it hard to believe that it will be just you.'

'Probable Katie and Lucy,' she says as she sighs.

 'What time?'

'Twelve,' she replies and I nod before walking towards the till. 

I quickly pay for my water and jog towards Dan's car. 'You took your time.'

'I really don’t want to talk about it so drive Dan.’ He gives me a puzzled look but quickly starts the engine as he begins driving the car to the hospital.

----------

We walk towards the reception area and the receptionist asks 'what name is it?'

'Kiera Hayden,' I reply confidently and she nods, smiling as she says 'Take a seat.' I nod as I choose the seat mostly isolated from everyone else and Dan sits beside me.

 'Are you nervous?'

'Why would I be nervous?' I ask, answering his question with a question. He raises his eyebrows, questioning my answer without actually saying anything. 'Shut up,' I whine as I break the eye contact.

 'It'll be fine.'

'Whatever you say.' Before he can reply, I hear my name being called out. I stand up and see a dark skinned woman with papers in her hands. She smiles in my way and I return it. Dan stands up beside me and we walk towards the doctor.

 'Kiera, what are you doing here?' Doctor Ash asks and I sigh, biting my lip.

 'I had an appointment.'

'Did you?'

'Well, that is what I said,' I snap and he rolls his eyes, used to my comments.

 'I can take over if you want,' he says looking at the woman.

 'No, it’s okay Ash.'

'Honestly, I would be more than happy to,' she gives in as she hands Doctor Ash the papers and walks away. He guides us to his room and tells Dan and me to take a seat.

 'Where is Doctor Jonathan?' I ask curiously.

 'He's with a patient.'

'How very interesting?' I sarcastically comment.

'Let’s get back to the current topic Kiera, why are you here?' I don't know how to respond but Dan replies by saying 'She's anorexic.'

'And you are?' Doctor Ash asks.

'A friend,' Dan replies and Doctor Ash nods.

 'So, how long have you been anorexic Kiera?' He asks as he turns to look at me.

 'I'm not sure, it started when I first came here.'

'Wait, so you were anorexic when you got chemotherapy done?' He questions as his eyes widen with shock. I don't trust my voice so I just nod my head. 'Kiera, why didn’t you tell us then? This can harm your health!'

'That's not the bad part,' replies Dan speaking up and I glare at him. Doctor Ash scoffs and asks 'So what is?' I don't reply as I avoid making eye contact with him so he looks at Dan. 'Well?' Dan sighs as he says 'She also took heroin before she got chemotherapy, it’s been helping her with here anorexia.'

'Please tell me this is a joke,' he replies looking at me.

 'It’s all true,' I reply quietly.

 'I'm getting Jonathan,' he says as he leaves the room.

 'You shouldn't have said that Dan.'

'What was I supposed to do? He was going to find out anyway.'

'So? I didn’t want him to find out like that,' I say, narrowing my eyes at him. 

Doctor Ash returns as he enters the room with Doctor Jonathan. He sits beside Doctor Ash and says 'nice to know you're looking healthy Kiera.'

'I don’t think it will last, there's a possibility the tumour will return,' I response and he shares a look with Doctor Ash.

'Ash told me about the heroin and the anorexia. Kiera, why didn’t you tell us this before?'

'I didn’t know what to say.'

'Okay, well Doctor Ash and I have decided to instantly give you a blood test to see if everything is fine. If we find something then we will give you a scan.'

'So what is going to happen now?'

'I'm going to get a nurse who will give you the blood test,' Jonathan says as he stands up and continues speaking 'and Doctor Ash will talk you through the procedure of what will happen.'

'Okay,' I reply and he leaves the room. I turn my attention to Doctor Ash who says 'We will be starting treatment for your anorexia as soon as possible. You will have other healthcare professionals involved in your treatment such as: specialist counsellor, psychiatrist, psychologist, nurse, dietician and a paediatrician.'

'That will be a lot of people,' I comment.

 'We need to do everything we can to help you eat healthily.'

'Okay.'

'You will be an outpatient but you will be required to come back for appointments with your healthcare professionals.'

'Anything else?'

'You will be receiving Interpersonal therapy treatment. IPT is based on the theory that our relationships with other people and the outside world in general have a powerful effect on our mental health.'

'Do I have to talk about the things with the counsellor?' I ask curiously ad I play with my fingers.

 'Yes, is that a problem?' He asks as he moves towards me with his chair.

 'No.' I shake my head and he continues.

 'You will also be treated with olanzapine. It is a medication which may be useful in treating anorexia in people who do not respond to other treatments.'

'What are the side effects?' Dan asks as he sits up in his chair.

 'The side effects of olanzapine include: sleepiness, dizziness, muscle stiffness or spasms, constipation, dry mouth or rash.' I put my hands in my hair and he notices my discomfort as he puts his hand on my knee. 'You will get through this, if you can beat a brain tumour, you can sure beat this too.'

'I might not have even beaten it due to the heroin and anorexia.'

'Kiera, stop being so negative,' Dan says. It’s hard to stop being so negative when your whole childhood was based on negativity.

 'What happens when I go back to Newcastle?'

'I spoke to Anna and she informed me that you got accepted into the university of London so you'll be staying here in London won't you?'

'I'm not sure,' I reply and he nods his head.

 'When you are sure then you can tell me.’ I nod and say 'I will.'

Doctor Jonathan walks into the room with a young woman by his side. 'This is Roxanne, she will be your nurse.'

'Okay,' I respond.

'Would you like to sit in the special chair?' She asks as she pats the bed.

 'I'm sixteen, not six,' I reply and she smiles.

 'Okay, get your ass in this chair,' she replies in an accent. I smirk and say I'm sure nurses can’t talk to their patients like that.'

'I'm cheering my patient up,' she replies and I roll my eyes, sitting down in the "special" chair. She gets out her equipment and I ask 'Are you going to tell me to close my eyes and count to ten?'

'You're seventeen not six,' she replies and I scoff as I roll up my sleeve. She positions the injection a few centimetres away from my arm as she moves closer subtly and before I know it I see my blood being sucked up by the needle. 'All done,' she says as she puts a plaster on my arm.

 'Finally,' I mutter and she chuckles.

 'You will start your treatment as soon as these results come through?'

'And when will that be?' I ask Doctor Jonathan.

 'In about a week, we'll call you to tell you.'

'Okay,' I reply taking a deep breath.

 'I'm going to go and get the rest of your healthcare specialists to come in.'

'Go ahead,' I reply to Doctor Ash and he smiles as he leaves the room. 

He returns minutes later with five people by his side. 'Kiera, meet your healthcare specialists. Healthcare specialists meet Kiera.' I smile at them acknowledging their presence and they introduce themselves one by one. 'I'm Emma, I will be your specialist counsellor,' a woman with red hair and light freckles says and I nod. 

'I'm Dylon and I will be your psychiatrist,' a middle aged man with ginger hair says getting my attention. I nod and another young woman introduces herself, 'I'm Rebecca and I will be your dietician.' She has black hair that makes her pale face stand out. I stop looking at her when another with brown hair says 'I'm Robin and I will be your paediatrician.'

'Okay.'

'She speaks,' says Dylon, making everyone laugh but I'm not amused.

 'Last but not least, I'm Hana and I will be your psychologist.'

'Hi,' I say looking at all of them awkwardly, not knowing what to say. They reply by saying the same thing before excusing themselves to get back to work.

'Aren't you two going to be part of my health-care specialists?' I ask looking at Doctor Ash and Doctor Jonathan and Doctor Ash replies.

 'No because we don't specialise in that department.'

'But we will be keeping a close eye on you,' Doctor Jonathan responds and I smile. 

----------

Dan and I leave the hospital, walking back to his car as he unlocks it. He puts on the radio without changing it and I lean back in my seat. I get comfortable before slowly slipping into oblivion.