CHAPTER 42

I feel someone lightly massage my scalp and I begin to stir in my sleep. I wake up and meet Lucy's green eyes staring at me. 'Why are you watching me sleep?' I ask as I untangle myself away from her and hid my face into the pillow.

 'I don’t know.'

'You don't know why you were watching me sleep? Is that the best you could think of Lucy?'

'Shut up,' she whines as she rests her head on my back.

 'What time is it?' 

'It’s ten.'

'How long have you been awake?'

'A while,' she replies and I scoff. She lightly punches my back and I laugh. 'Stop laughing at me,' she says as she sits up.

 'Lucy I'm cold.'

'That shut you up,' she replies and I sit up, resting my head on her shoulder. 'You're stealing all my body heat Kiera.'

'No, I'm actually giving you mine,’ I say. 'I'm literally freezing,' I announce and she chuckles before wrapping the big duvet over my body.

'Are you going back to sleep?' She asks curiously.

'No, I can't even go back to sleep thanks to you.' She scoffs and gets up to open the curtains. 'I'm going to take a shower so give me a towel,' I demand. She rolls her eyes and gives me a folded towel along with some clean clothes. I stand up and turn to walk out of the room but she stops by asking 'Kiera are you not even going to say thanks?'

'For what?' I don’t wait for her to reply as I quickly leave the room.

I walk into the bathroom and put the towel on the shower door. I leave my clothes on the clothes hanger and begin to undress. I step in the shower and feel like I am entering into my own world as my feet caress the cool, smooth, slick tiles on the floor.

After I finish my shower, I wrap the towel around my body, drying all the traces of water. I quickly get dressed in black shorts and a white shirt, followed by a black blazer. I wrap my hair around a smaller towel, folding it in place. I pick up the pyjamas that are now on the floor and leave the room. 

Lucy's room is empty so she's probably downstairs. I put on my socks and shoes, putting my phone in my pocket and remove the towel from my head. I begin towel drying my hair softly before pulling it into a loose high ponytail.

The smell of pancakes fill my nose and I try my best to ignore it. I walk into the kitchen and make my presence known by coughing loudly. Lucy turns around to face me and says 'you took your time.' I don’t say anything as I sit down at the dining table and check my phone. The time gets my attention and I shriek loudly.

 'Lucy it’s already eleven.'

'As I said, you took your time.'

'You should've told me to hurry up or something.'

'Why bother? It’s not like you're late or anything,' she replies shrugging her shoulders.

 'Why are you making pancakes?' I ask curiously.

 'I felt like it,' she responds.

 'You do know that I'm not going to have any don't you?'

'Kiera-'

'What Lucy?' I reply annoyed.

 'I just don't understand how you let your dad get to you?'

'Try being in my shoes.' I roll my eyes and she scoffs.

 'That is what I've been doing recently and yet I still can’t understand it.'

'Well then stop trying to!' I reply raising my voice slightly.

 'I'm not even going to bother,' she mutters as she turns away from me. The doorbell rings and she goes to answer it. I enjoy the moment of silence but it’s quickly ruined as she returns with Joe by her side.

 'I heard you have an appointment today.'

'You told him?' I ask looking at Lucy who doesn’t reply. 'Who else have you told?'

'Just him.'

'You're so freaking annoying,' I mutter loud enough for them to hear. Lucy walks back to the cooker and Joe sits down next to me.

 'Hey, this isn't Lucy's fault.'

'Yes it is, everything is Lucy's fault,' I reply putting my hands in my hair.

 'You don't mean that,' Joe replies as he puts his hand on my back.

 'Shut up Joe, what would you know about what I mean?'

'Okay, calm down, I don’t think getting stressed over the tiniest things is good for you,' he calmly states and I scoff. I sit up, slouching in my chair. Lucy walks over to us and puts a plate of pancake in front of me. I look at it and notice that it is decorated with different flavoured berries, sugar, chocolate and golden syrup.

 'What?' I ask as I notice their stare on me.

 'You know what,' Lucy replies.

 'No.'

'Kiera, you have to try but you're not even trying,' Joe says as he stands up.

 'I'm not eating it, I told you before,' I say looking up at Lucy.

 'This is bad.' I hear Joe mumble to Lucy.

 'If you two are going to have a private conversation then surely you should do it when I'm not here.'

'We should get ready for your appointment,' Joe says.

 'Why are you coming?'

'Shut up Kiera and get up,' he replies and I roll my eyes.

 'Can you at least eat something on the way?' Lucy pleads.

'Well, what do you suggest Lucy?' I reply sarcastically.

 'I don't know anything,' I bite my lip considering it. I notice the fruit basket in the middle of the dining table and I grab a red apple, walking to the sink to wash it.

'Satisfied?' I ask Lucy.

 'No, not really because an apple isn’t going to help is it?'

'You didn't really specify though did you?' She's about to reply but Joe prevents her. I glance at the clock whish says its 11:17. 'Can we just go, I don’t exactly want to be late for my appointment,' I say, walking out of the house with my phone in one hand and the apple in the other. 

I stand by the back seat door, waiting for Lucy and Joe to hurry up. They both give me a puzzled look and Lucy unlocks the door. Joe sits in the passenger seat and I sit in the back seat. 'Kiera, you better be eating that apple,' Lucy says as she glares at me through the mirrors.

'That was my intention,' I reply as I take a bite out of it. She closes the car door and starts the engine. 

I get my phone out and look at my messages. I sigh as I see a text message from Dan. 

Hey Kiera, it’s Dan. Where are you? You didn't come home last night and you have an appointment today. _Dan_

I quickly type out a reply. 

(To Dan) I slept over at a friend's house, I'm sorry I didn’t tell you and I'm on my way to my appointment right now. ~K~

It’s okay and do you want me to meet you at the hospital? _Dan_

(To Dan) No, its fine. ~K~

Are you sure? _Dan_

(To Dan) Yes, I'm sure. ~K~

'Kiera!'

'What?' I ask annoyed as I reply to Joe.

 'I asked what you wanted to do afterwards, no need to snap at me.'

'I was going to go to Lily's house, she told me to come over yesterday but I told her I'd come over today. You guys should come.'

'We could invite everyone and practically make it a party,' Joe suggests.

'I think we've had enough parties Joe,' Lucy replies and Joe instantly apologises. 

----------

We arrive at the hospital five minutes later and Lucy parks the car in a parking space. I wrap tissue around my finished apple and put it in the bin once I get out of the car. I fold my arms waiting for Lucy and Joe to get out of the car. 

We walk to the hospital and I give the receptionist my name who tells us to take a seat. We sit down and I cross my legs as we wait for Doctor Jonathan to call out my name. 

Jaimie and Jess walk out of the hospital and Lucy walks over to them. She begins talking to Jess and Jaimie joins Joe and me. 'What the hell do you want?' Joe asks.

 'I have come to apologise, I was bang out of order for doing what I did and I shouldn't have lied about it either. I really am sorry.'

'Apology accepted, you can join your twin now,' I reply coldly and he nods. Jess walks over to us, giving Lucy and Jaimie some privacy.

 'What are you doing here?' Joe asks as she sits down beside him.

 'I came to get some blood tests done.'

'Did they hurt?'

'When do they not?' She asks making Joe chuckle. She begins fiddling with hair and puts her hand on Joe's shoulder. 'So, I was thinking,' she states but stops half way.

 'About me?' Joe asks.

 'I guess you could say that.'

'Well what about me?'

'I was wondering if you wanted to go to dinner with me tomorrow,' she replies flirtatiously.

 'As a date?' I bite my lip as I grip the arm of the chair I'm sitting on.

 'Yes, as a date. I mean you don't have to or anything and I would totally understand if you refuse because it is your choice but I really would like if you came-

'You're rambling,' Joe replies as he puts his index finger on Jess' lips, instantly silencing her. 'And I would love to, I'll pick you up at six.'

'Great,' she replies as she kisses his cheek and I tear my eyes away from them. She skips towards Jaimie and Lucy and Joe turns to look at me. 'What?' he asks.

 'Nothing,' I lie and he nods as he breaks the eye contact. To say that I'm mad would be an understatement. 

----------

Jaimie and Jess end up leaving ten minutes later. 'Me and Jess are going on a date,' Joe brags to Lucy who chuckles.

 'She already told me. Joe, don't mess her about,’ she replies with a serious expression.

'And what if she messes me about?'

'It’s usually in your nature. I mean remember what happened with Katie?'

'You didn't have to bring that up,' I reply.

 'I'm just making a point, don't mess her about Joe.'

'Fine,' he replies and before I can think about the situation any longer, Doctor Jonathan calls out my name. We follow him to his office and I notice that Rebecca, my dietician is already present.

 'It’s nice to see you invited your friends along Kiera.'

'I didn’t invite them, they just came along,' I reply correcting Doctor Ash. Lucy scoffs loudly,

 'I'm not even going to say anything to that,’ she replies.

'You just did,' I reply and she rolls her eyes. She and Joe sit in the corner and I sit opposite Doctor Jonathan who smiles at our conversation.

 'I'll explain what is going to happen. Firstly, we are going to weigh you to find to your BMI. Then we'll monitor your heart rate and from that we will decide whether if you need to be kept in hospital.'

'I don't want to stay in hospital.'

'Kiera, we can discuss this after we carry out the tests and after the tests are done, Rebecca will be advising you with your diet.'

'Anything else?' I ask sarcastically.

 'Well the blood tests we did at your previous appointment came through and luckily your drug use hasn't affected your chemotherapy and the rumour hasn't returned.'

'What's to say it won't return?' He sits up in his chair, as he sighs.

 'Kiera you shouldn't be so pessimistic Kiera.'

'Can we get this show on the road?' I ask impatiently and he nods.

'I'm going to have to take you another room. Would you guys like to stay here or would you like to join us?' Doctor Jonathan asks looking at Lucy and Joe.

 'We'll stay here,' Lucy replies and they leave the room.

 'Why are you staying here?'

‘We need to talk, you know where we are if you need us.’ Lucy replies and I roll my eyes before leaving the room.

Doctor Jonathan and Rebecca were waiting outside the room for me and Rebecca asks 'ready?'

'Yep,' I reply nodding my head as I follow them to a different room.

 'Okay, to get started we need you to stand on this scale,' he says and I take my shoes off before standing on it. I don't bother looking down at the scales and wait until he allows me to stand back on the ground. 'Okay, now come and stand here,' he says and I walk over to where he wants to measure my height.

 'Lie down on the bed Kiera,' he instructs after he takes down my height. I roll my eyes before getting comfortable on the bed. He attaches multiple wires to my body and there is nothing I can do.

~~~~~~~~~~

'Okay,' he says breaking the silence as he looks up from the computer. 'It is safe to say that you won’t be staying in hospital as your condition isn’t severe but you are still underweight. I'll leave Rebecca to explain what happens now and I'll talk to your friends.' I hope they don't embarrass me.

 'Okay,' I nod and he leaves the room.

 'So how are you feeling Kiera?'

'I don’t really know,' I reply honestly and she nods.

 'Well, what we're going to do now is give you a healthy diet plan,' she replies as she gives me a sheet. 'You should follow them as much as you can Kiera because if you don't, you will begin to look like this.' She begins showing me some people who are seriously thin. So thin that their bones are visible. I feel sick and mentally disturbed.

 'Okay.'

'So will you follow the data plan? Because for you to recover, you need to give this your all.'

'Yes,' I reply and she smiles. She gives me a card with her details on.

 'Call me whenever you need to and I'm scheduling an appointment next week to see how your diet is going. I will also be weighing you and you will be trying out some foods here.'

'Okay,' I reply as I nod my head.

 'Shall we back to Doctor Jonathan's room?' She asks and I nod as I put my shoes back on. 'Come on then,' she replies and we get to Doctor Jonathan's room in a few seconds.

Lucy and Joe stand up and I ask 'can we go now?'

'Yes, you have an appointment next week same time,' he replies and I nod my head. 

----------

'I'm getting a drink from the shop, do you guys want to come?'

'I'm going to the car, get me Pepsi will you?' Lucy asks and Joe nods as she leaves the hospital. Joe and I walk in silence as we get to the hospital shop.

‘Do you want anything?' Joe asks curiously.

'No thanks,' I reply and he nods. 'Why are you acting so distant?' I question as he walks over to the counter. 'I just can't believe this whole situation. It’s just a lot to get my head around.'

'Can you stop acting like this then?' I plead.

 'I'll try,' he replies as he gives the shop keeper a five pound note. I sigh because I know it’s the best answer I'll receive and I wait for him to walk away. We walk through the hall that seems isolated but we're near the entrance.

 'I don't like this,' I say pulling Joe's arm, getting his attention.

 'I don’t like the fact that you used heroin and that you’re harming your body but you don't see me complaining.'

'That is different Joe and you know it.'

'Different how exactly?' He asks as he walks towards me and my back hits the wall.

 'It just is,' I mutter. He holds my chin as he looks deep into my eyes.

 'I can’t believe you would actually do something like this Kiera. You have changed so much. What would your mother say if she saw you?'

'Shut up Joe,' I whisper and he strokes my cheek using his thumb. We stay like that for a while before Joe finally leans in closer and I quickly push him away.

 'What the hell Kiera?'

'You're supposed to be going out with Jess tomorrow.'

'So, it doesn’t mean we're dating and do you honestly not want this?' I roll my eyes at his behaviour.

 'That isn't the point.'

'You want this just as much as I do so why are you pushing me away? It doesn't matter if I was going out with Jess tomorrow because you wold still find another excuse,' he replies as he walks away.  I purse my lips together as I watch him leave.