CHAPTER 15

I wake up to the blasting sound of my alarm clock. I groan as I know today is the day that I have been dreading. The day of my appointment. I look at the clock opposite me hanging on the wall, which reads 12:35. My appointment is in approximately two hours. I take a deep breath before going to the bathroom to freshen up.

Five minutes later, I walk back into the guest bedroom and get dressed in black jeans and a red baseball jacket. I put my phone in my pocket and walk downstairs. There is no sign of Lily or Anna so I make my breakfast and take it up to Lily's room. 'Go and eat downstairs!' Lily demands looking up from her laptop.

'I felt lonely there.'

‘Are you being serious right now?'

'Was I meant to be joking?' I sarcastically ask and she returns her attention back to her laptop. I sit on her bed, opposite her and begin eating 'there better not be crumbs on my bed.' I nod my head absentmindedly.

'Are you okay?' I ask as memories of yesterday come flooding back.

'Why wouldn't I be?'

‘Are you being serious right now?' I ask seriously but mock what she said to me before. She smiles before replying 'was I meant to be joking?' I laugh, shaking my head at her reply and she laughs with me. After our laughter dies down I say 'seriously though Lily.'

'Yes, I'm fine Kiera.' I raise my eyebrows showing that I don't believe her. 'I am fine; it's just Kara getting on my nerves.'

'What did she do?' She looks away from her laptop, sighing loudly. She takes a deep breath and says 'before she actually became friends with us, she realised how close Lucy and I were so she made a lie up about me, telling it to Lucy and Katie and they actually believed it, taking her side.'

'Seriously?'

'Yep,' she replies quietly.

'What lie did she make up?'

'She said I was gossiping about them behind their backs.' I laugh loudly because of how immature that sounds. She rolls her eyes and I say 'that's immature isn't it?'

'Yeah, the immatureness doesn't really bother me it's the fact that they believed it, it just shows our friendship means nothing-'

'Lily.' I cut her off but she does the same to me, 'no, if they can believe things like that, what about major stuff then? And I know Lucy is on Kara's side on this whole disagreement thing.' I finish my food and I stand up to put my plate on her desk before sitting back in my original position. I wrap my arms around Lily's neck, trying to cheer her up. She smiles when we pull away and I ask 'what about the others?'

'What do you mean?'

'Did they get involved in the argument?'

'James did.' I scoff and mutter 'I'm not surprised.' She smiles agreeing with my statement. 'I stopped hanging around with them for a while and just spoke to Liz, Rosabella and some other people.'

'Who is Rosabella?'

'The girl that was there that day, the one with brown hair and green eyes,' she replies trying to get me to remember.

'Oh yeah,' I say as I know who she's talking about.

'You'd like her,' she states randomly.

'More than Kara?'

'A hell lot more,' she smirks and I mirror it.

'So enough about this, how are you feeling about your appointment?'

'I really don't want to go, I mean I know I already have the dominant gene, what else is there for me to know?' She reaches out to grab hold of my hand, stroking it and says 'the treatment that you're going to need to get it treated.'

'There is no treatment.' I reply emotionlessly. She squeezes my hand and replies by saying 'Kiera, don't say that, stop thinking so negatively.'

'I'm not going to get my hopes up, only to get then destroyed.' I mutter softly. She shuffles so she is sitting next to me and pulls me into her. I nuzzle my face into her neck and we sit in silence.

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'Kiera, it's 1:55.' Lily says breaking the silence. I get up and sigh loudly. 'Hey, it will be okay.'

'Lily, I know you're trying to comfort me but you don't know that,' she sighs as she knows I'm right.

'What time are you and my mum going?'

'She said we were going to leave at two or something, so I'll probably have to go downstairs now.' She nods her head and grabs my plate, opening the door.

'Come on,' she says and I follow her downstairs. 

We see Anna and Lucy talking into the kitchen and they stop when they notice us. 'Kiera, I want you to come to the car in ten minutes, I'll leave you girls to it.' I nod and she walks out of the house.

'What are you doing here?' Lily asks annoyed.

'I came to support Kiera.' Lucy replies and I smile thankfully at her which she returns.

'And why now exactly?' 

'Lily.' I say glancing at her. Lucy looks at Lily before replying 'I'm not here for you Lily so get over yourself.'

'I need to get over myself? Are you being serious right now?'

'Yes, I'm being serious.'

'So you come into my house, telling me that I need to get over myself, God you're pathetic.' Lily replies coldly and Lucy scoffs.

'What is your problem with me Lily?'

'You're my freaking problem Lucy,' she replies angrily.

'Stop it.' I state quietly as I can't listen to them argue any longer. They don't take any notice as they carry on.

'Stop!' I shout and they both look at me.

'What's wrong?' Lily asks as tries to wipe my tears but I gently push her away. 'You two are arguing over something stupid. You're supposed to be best friends and you've known each other for ever.' They both look away and I wipe my tears. 'I don't want you to argue and you're not there for me if you're arguing with one another-'

'Kiera-'

'No Lucy, don't interrupt me. You're both being selfish. I have to go and face the same doctor that diagnosed my mum with a brain tumour. I'm scared, no actually I'm terrified and I know I can only get through this with my best friends by my side.'

'We are by your side.' Lily tries engulfing me in a hug but I step away again.

'No, you're not, how are you when you two are arguing with one another? I need you both but obviously your pride means so much more to you.' Lucy has her hands in her hair and Lily folds her arms and says 'Kiera, we do care.'

'If you really did care then you'd sort out your disagreements.' I reply wiping my final tears and walk out of the house.

I notice Anna waiting patiently in her car and I slide into the passenger seat. 'Are you okay?'

'I will be' I reply but I can't help but think "will I really?"

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The car ride to the hospital is short and before I know it we're standing outside the main entrance doors. The exact doors I used to walk in and out of while visiting my mum. Anna takes hold of my hand as we go inside. 

We walk to the reception area and Anna speaks for me saying 'Kiera Hayden.' The reception smiles 'take a seat,' and Anna thanks her before guiding me to the seats. Anna notices some leaflets that say "Malignant Brain Tumours." She offers it to me and I say 'I've read them all.'

'When?'

'When my mum was here, it got pretty boring so I read all those leaflets,’ she smiles, tightening her grip on my hand and reads it herself.

'Kiera Hayden.' Doctor Jonathan calls out causing me to internally groan. We both stand up and follow him to his room. We sit opposite him and he attempts to start a conversation. 'So Kiera, I've heard you live in New Castle now?'

'I don't really want to do small talk, I just want to know my options and get this appointment over and done with.'

'Okay then,' he nods understandingly. 'Well the good news is that this is a primary tumour and we have caught it early so hopefully we will be able to cure it.'

'So you don't know for sure then?' I ask curiously.

'The majority of the patients carry on living healthy lives but the small majority has the tumour return.'

'So what is the point in getting it treated in the first place?'

'Well you never know if it will return and you never know what will happen in these treatments Kiera but they are worth it.' He replies crossing his legs and folding his arms.

'So what are my options?'

'You have plenty. Firstly, you will get surgery done to remove the tumour. Most primary tumours will then usually be treated with radiotherapy, chemotherapy or both afterwards, to reduce the risk of the tumour coming back. Surgery aims to remove as much of the tumour as possible, without damaging the surrounding tissue.'

'But she will be put to sleep though won't she?' Asks Anna.

'Yes, you will be given a general anesthetic and an area of your scalp will be shaved. A section of the skull is cut out as a flap to reveal the brain and tumour underneath. This is known as a craniotomy. The surgeon can then remove the tumour.'

'What is the point in shaving one part of my scalp, I might as well shave all my hair, and I don't want to be bald one side.'

'Kiera, I think the treatment is the most important thing, whether your bald or not doesn't matter as long as the tumour is removed.' Anna replies and Doctor Jonathan agrees with her.

'But I don't want to be bald Anna.'

'Many patients use wigs so that might be-'

'Do I look like the type of people that wear wigs?' I question angrily, annoyed that Doctor Jonathan even suggested it.

'Kiera.' Anna warns and nods for him to continue.

‘You will then be given photodynamic therapy, where the surgeon injects a light-sensitive drug into your veins, which is taken up by the remaining cancer cells. When a laser is focused on these cancer cells, the drug becomes active and kills them.'

'What about the radiotherapy?' I ask curiously.

'Well, you won't be treated with radiotherapy because if you get the surgery soon enough then you can use chemotherapy instead, which will kill the cancerous cells either by tablets, injections or implants.'

I clench my jaw, not knowing a clue on whether to take the treatment because there is a risk the tumour will return. 'So what happens now?'

'You will have to schedule an appointment to get the surgery done and after that we can get you started on the chemotherapy.'

'Do I do it here or New Castle?'

'The sooner the better so I strongly advise you to do it here and as soon as possible.' I throw my hands in my hair scratching my scalp to distract me. I think of the fact that soon enough I won't even have any hair. My thoughts begin running wild, giving me a headache so I walk out of the room calmly and walk my towards Anna's car.

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Ten minutes later, Anna appears and asks 'are you okay?'

'I don't know.' I reply honestly.

'Come here' she whispers softly as she holds her arms wide open, allowing me to step into them. She wraps her arms around me tightly stroking my hair. When we break apart, she hands me an appointment card 'I have made you an appointment in ten days to get the surgery done, is that okay?'

'Ten days? Isn’t that too soon?'

'I was thinking that but Doctor Jonathan said that patients who seem to delay their surgery are the ones who have the tumour return. If you do this now, you will get it over and done with as soon as possible Kiera.'

'Okay.' I breathe slowly and she pats my arm softly before unlocking the car, slipping into the driver's seat. I look back at the hospital before stepping into the car.

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The car ride back home is longer and Anna parks her car outside the house.

I quickly step out of the car and walk into the house. I see Lucy and Lily sitting at the dining table but my mind is racing on everything that Doctor Jonathan said so I don’t stop to say anything. Instead, I rush upstairs to my room slamming the door behind me.