[Louis]

I followed dad to the living room and sat down on the edge of the couch. He took a seat right beside me, his body turned my way. "Alright, what's going on?" He asked, and judging by the tone he was using, I knew there was no idea to try escaping the situation. He knew something was up, and he was not going to let me get away without an explanation.

Looking down at my folded hands on my lap, I let out a deep sigh. "It's nothing, really. Nothing worth discussing, at least. Someone at school just told me something that I didn't want to hear, is all."

He leaned back against the backrest and crossed his arms over his chest. "Something about your mum, maybe?" He guessed, and I looked up at him with a frown on my face.

"How did you know?"

He gave me a small smile. "I know you Louis, and you never get this upset by something that a person has said unless it has to do with her."

I let his words sink in and thought about it. Was he right? I knew I got upset at the mention of her, which I was pretty sure was inevitable, but did I never get upset by anything else? I doubted that, but maybe he just knew when it had to do with mum because I was his son and he had known me my entire life. "Alright, yes, it has to do with her. I just can't handle it. It's as if there's a bomb within me that explodes whenever someone just mentions her in my presence, and so many feelings blow up inside me."

"And memories," he added, biting his bottom lip.

I nodded in agreement, turning my head to meet his gaze. "It's been more than two years, yet I still can't handle it. I mean, you have moved on just fine. Why can't I do the same thing?" I asked, running my hands over my face.

He gave my thigh a pat and flashed me a reassuring smile. "There's one thing you should know, Louis, and it is that it won't matter how many months or years that pass, I will never really move on from your mother. She is and will always be a part of my heart, Lottie too. Even if they aren't with us anymore, they're still here, inside us," he said, gesturing towards his heart. "And they will always be no matter what. We won't forget them, but we still need to continue with our lives, Louis. Our lives didn't end because theirs did. We still have so many things to experience before it is our turn, and I know it's hard, but we have to fight through it, alright?"

Taking a deep breath, I gave him another nod.

"Maybe you still have a hard time taking in the fact that they aren't here anymore, but no one expects you to handle it any better than you are. After all, it hasn't been a very long time since it happened, and I also have my moments when my feelings overwhelm me and I have to take a break for a couple of minutes. It's nothing out of the ordinary. You just have to think positively and remember the good things, and not the fact that you miss them. Think about the memories we have together with a smile on your face and be happy about that. That way, it's going to be easier for you to move on, Louis. Trust me," he promised.

I swallowed hard, looking away from him again. Why did it always sound so easy when dad explained things to me? He was always so rational and knew exactly what the best thing to do was. I really admired that about him. I wished I could think as positively as him so I could avoid being so down sometimes. "Yeah, you're probably right," I mumbled.

"I know I am." He gave my side a light nudge in an attempt to cheer me up, and a small smile actually crept to my lips.

"Thank you," I said. "For being here. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have you either."

"Then we're two," he smiled. "And you're welcome, son. I'm here whenever you want to talk. You know you can come to me whenever you want, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Alright, I'm going to see if Anne has finished washing the dishes. You coming with me?" He asked, looking at me expectantly.

I bit my lip, contemplating it for a second. The odds were pretty high that Harry was still in there since I hadn't seen him walk through the living room to go upstairs, but did I even have a reason not to see him? He hadn't tried to interact with me, so there was no reason not to follow dad to the kitchen. "Sure."

When we entered the room, Harry and Gemma were still sitting in the same spots they did when dad and I left, and Anne was sitting in front of them, the dishes still in the sink. Judging by the looks of it, they must have started talking about something important. Otherwise, it was weird that Anne had just stopped washing the dishes just like that. It was not like her at all.

"Did we miss something?" Dad asked as he sat down beside Anne again, flickering his gaze between the three of them.

I sat down beside Gemma and watched the scene play out. Anne looked at Harry before shaking her head. "No, we just had a small talk, is all. Would you help me with the dishes, please?" She asked, turning her attention to dad.

He pressed his lips into a thin line before nodding and standing up. Gemma, Harry and I sat in silence for a couple of minutes until Anne turned around and flashed us a smile. "You don't have to wait here if you don't want to. You're free to go up to your rooms or do whatever you feel like doing."

Gemma was the first one to react by getting up from her seat. "Alright, thanks for dinner. See you later," was all she said before she exited the room just like that.

A little taken aback by her sudden actions, I blinked my eyes a couple of times before turning to Harry who was staring at the spot where Gemma just disappeared from. Dad and Anne were already engrossed in a deep conversation about God knows what, so it was basically just me and Harry in the room, which scared me.

When he turned around to face me, I could feel my heartbeat pick up in my chest. What was he going to do? Would he bring up what we talked about earlier, or would he avoid it?

It just felt so weird now, knowing that he had feelings for me and that he knew about my feelings for him. It was just surreal. Like, who would have thought that the two people who for a couple of weeks ago couldn't even stand to be in the same room without picking on the other, now had expressed their feelings for one another? That was just insane, and although I knew it wouldn't lead anywhere, I couldn't help but like the thought of it.

His eyes found mine, and for some reason, they looked sympathetic, as if he knew something about me that he felt bad about. I had a feeling what it was, but how did he find out about it? I mean, it didn't seem like he knew about it this morning at least.

"Can I speak with you?" He asked with a voice like an angel, making my heart beat even faster in my chest.

To be honest, talking to him was one of the last things I wanted to do right now. Not only was I scared about what he wanted to discuss, but I was also afraid of losing control when I was around him. The more time that passed, the harder it seemed for me to keep my feelings under control. What if I would do something like that time in the bathroom when I had pushed one of his curls behind his ear? Or even worse, when I had kissed him that time after Niall's party? That could not happen, not if I wanted to keep my dad in my life.

Despite thinking this way, the word 'sure' escaped my mouth, and I wanted to smack myself on the forehead because of it. Why did I have to be so stupid?

A smile broke out on his face, making my chest swell with warmth. He got up from his seat and went to exit the room, but stopped in the door frame when he noticed that I wasn't following him. "You coming?"

Throwing a glance in dad and Anne's direction, noticing that they were still deep in conversation, I nodded and got up to join him. To my surprise, he didn't stop in the living room but kept walking towards the stairs. Butterflies erupted in my stomach as I realized he was bringing me to his bedroom. Now that I thought about it, I hadn't really been in there. Or, at least not for more than a minute, which to me didn't count.

Harry opened the door to his room and gestured me to sit down on his bed that was placed in the middle of it. Other than that, the room didn't look too special. There was a TV on the wall in front of the bed and a desk in the right corner. The door to the bathroom that we shared was beside the TV, and his closet was placed to the left. I would say it looked like my own but a little bigger with a bit more space. However, I didn't mind that. I actually quite liked my room the way it was.

He closed the door behind us and joined me on the bed. I studied his face and noted for the first time that he looked nervous. "Alright, I think you know what I want to talk about, right?"

Looking away, I bit my bottom lip. "Harry, just forget it, okay? There's nothing to discuss, I--"

He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "Enough," he said, cutting me off. "I'm tired of you saying that there's nothing to talk about. We've got plenty of stuff to discuss, but you never want to. You always try to avoid everything, and I've had enough of it. I know something happened earlier when you just stormed off like that, and I am pretty sure why you did now, but how come you never told me? I was your friend, Louis. Why didn't you just tell me? I would've been there for you."

I let out a dry laugh, rolling my eyes. "Yeah, sure. If I remember correctly, you were too busy sucking some girl's face off and hanging with Liam at the time to even notice that something was wrong with me. Why would I have wanted to tell you?"

He looked down at the floor in shame, and that was when I noticed that he was actually sorry for what he had done. Maybe he didn't intend to hurt me at the time after all? Maybe he just didn't realize what he was doing?

"That doesn't mean I wouldn't have been there for you. If you had told me that your mum was in an accident, I would've reassured you that everything would be fine and I would've been by your side, you know?"

"Well, then that would've meant you only paid attention to me because something tragic happened in my life. I wanted you to hang out with me because you wanted to, not because you felt the need to. You understand?"

Furrowing his eyebrows together, he nodded slowly. "I guess..."

A silence followed after that, where we just sat there, lost in our own separate thoughts. It wasn't awkward or anything, and I guess that was because we were so caught up in thinking about our situation. However, when the silence finally repealed, it was thanks to Harry.

"So, about what you said earlier..." He started off, glancing at me through the corner of his eye.

Catching his gaze, I bit my bottom lip. "About me not wanting to risk anything when it comes to us?" I asked, although I already knew that was what he was on about.

He gave me a nod, breaking our eye contact. "Yeah."

"I meant it," I finished monotonously.

Don't misunderstand me, I did mean it, but I didn't want to mean it. There was nothing I wanted more than to be in a relationship with Harry instead of Eleanor, but I couldn't. My dad still meant the most to me, and I was sure I could not live with the thought of him hating me for something like this. What if he found about us and he and Anne decided to kick us out? I would be devastated.

He took a deep breath. "That's what I thought," he breathed, refusing to meet my gaze.

I wanted to give him a hug or just a reassuring pat on the thigh, but I knew that would be the wrong thing to do at the moment. He would either be mad at me for touching him right after I had explained to him that we couldn't be together, or I would lose control altogether and kiss the life out of him because he just looked so sad and vulnerable at the moment. My heart was beating like crazy in my chest right now just by the looks of him.

When I didn't say anything, another silence fell between the two of us. However, this time it was awkward because we were in a different situation. This time we weren't deep in our thoughts, we just didn't know what to say.

"So, that really means you are going to stay with Eleanor?" He mumbled, still refusing to meet my gaze.

"Yeah.." I trailed off.

I figured that if it worked just fine to be with her last time I tried to get over Harry, it would work this time as well. Maybe it would be harder now, though, since I knew he felt the same way, but hopefully, it would work eventually. Otherwise, I had to try to find someone else who would make me forget about him.

He nodded curtly to himself and stood up. "Alright, I think this talk is over. You can go now," he said emotionlessly, motioning towards the bathroom door.

I swallowed hard before getting up. My feet took me to the said door, but when I put my hand on the handle, I turned around to face the curly-haired boy again. "Harry, I... I'm sorry."

He was staring at the floor, but when I uttered those words, he looked up to meet my eyes. The amount of hurt I saw in them made my heart twist uncomfortably, and a sudden wave of nausea came over me. I didn't want to do this, I really didn't. Yet, I still knew I had to.

"Just go," was all he said, and it didn't make things better. If anything, it only made me feel even worse.

Letting out a sigh, I finally turned the handle and exited Harry's room. I closed the door behind me with a soft thud and entered my own room. The first thing I did was the exact same thing I had done when I got home this afternoon; I threw myself on the bed, buried my face in my pillow and cried.

Why did life have to be so unfair?

___________________________________________

Hello again, lovelies! That was another chapter and I hope you enjoyed it. So, what do you think is going to happen next? Will Louis be able to stay with Eleanor or will Harry be too tempting for him?

And what about Harry? What is he going to do now?

Pauline .xx