Double update for today, chapter 40 and 41! Enjoy. 🤧

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Dinala ako ni Nixon sa tabi ng lake, napatingin na lang ako sa kaniya habang nakatanaw siya sa lake. Hindi niya pa din binibitawan ang kamay ko dahil tila malalim ang iniisip niya. Gusto ko man siyang tanungin about sa bracelet ay hindi ko magawa dahil ayoko namang manghimasok kahit na naiintriga na ako.

"Nixon..." Tawag ko kaya tila nabalik naman siya sa wisyo at tumingin sa akin.

"Are you alright?" I asked. Binigyan niya naman ako ng isang ngiti saka tumango.

"Are you worried for me?" Nakangisi niyang sabi. Napairap naman ako.

"Maybe yes, maybe no." Sagot ko. Napangisi na lang siya ulit at hinila ako papalapit sa kaniya, nabigla naman ako dahil doon kaya napakapit ako sa kaniya. Inilagay niya ang kaliwang kamay ko sa kanang balikat niya, ang isang kamay niya nakahawak sa bewang ko tapos yung isang kamay niya ay nakahawak sa kamay ko na para bang nakaposisyon kami para sumayaw ng waltz.

"W-What are you doing?" Taas kilay kong tanong nang magsimula siyang mag-sway na para ngang sumasayaw kaming dalawa.

"We're dancing," natatawa niyang sabi.

"I know, but what for?" Tanong ko.

"Well, you owe me a dance from last time." Sagot niya na mukhang tinutukoy yung sa party ni Rosan. Hindi ko alam pero kusang sumusunod ang paa ko sa kaniya na para bang rhythm. I just found myself dancing with him.

"We're like fools here, dancing without music." Sabi ko.

"Is that so?" Sabi niya. Nabigla naman ako nang magsimula siyang kumanta.

♪I met you in the dark, you lit me up
You made me feel as though I was enough
We danced the night away, we drank too much
I held your hair back when
You were throwing up♪

♪Then you smiled over your shoulder
For a minute, I was stone-cold sober

I pulled you closer to my chest
And you asked me to stay over
I said, I already told ya
I think that you should get some rest♪

My heart starts to beat faster as he sings every line of the song with a soft gentle voice.

♪I knew I loved you then
But you'd never know
'Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go

I know I needed you
But I never showed
But I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old
Just say you won't let go
Just say you won't let go♪

Nakatitig lang siya sa mga mata ko na akala mo ako na ang pinakamagandang babae ang nakita niya sa buong mundo. And right now, feeling ko talaga ang ganda ganda ko. Hindi mapigil itong puso ko. Ahhh. Help! Ay sabagay kapag tumigil patay ako. Tsk. Tsk!

♪I'll wake you up with some breakfast in bed
I'll bring you coffee with a kiss on your head
And I'll take the kids to school

Wave them goodbye
And I'll thank my lucky stars for that night♪

♪When you looked over your shoulder
For a minute, I forget that I'm older
I wanna dance with you right now

Oh, and you look as beautiful as ever
And I swear that everyday you'll get better
You make me feel this way somehow♪

What should I do, Nixon? I'm really falling for you. Why do you keep doing this to me! You should hate me, right? Because I'm the villainess of this novel. You're suppose to be with Rosan because she's the female lead not me. But if you keep doing this...I can't really help myself but to fall in love with you. Kahit na sinabi ko una pa lang na hindi ako magkakagusto sa iyo EVER. I'm eating all my words, at busog na busog na ako.

♪I'm so in love with you
And I hope you know
Darling, your love is more than worth its weight in gold

We've come so far, my dear
Look how we've grown
And I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old
Just say you won't let go
Just say you won't let go♪

Napapikit na lang ako nang idikit niya ang noo niya sa noo ko while singing the song. We're still dancing, but this time, it feels like we're dancing on the clouds. Just the two of us.

♪I wanna live with you
Even when we're ghosts
'Cause you were always there for me when I needed you most♪

♪I'm gonna love you 'til
My lungs give out
I promise 'til death we part like in our vows
So I wrote this song for you, now everybody knows
That it's just you and me 'til we're grey and old
Just say you won't let go
Just say you won't let go♪

♪Just say you won't let go
Oh, just say you won't let go♪

Nang matapos niya ang kanta ay dinampian niya ako ng halik sa noo. "I love you and always will, Victoria." He whispered underneath his breath pero sapat na para marinig ko. He hugged me after that, hindi ko alam pero I just found myself not complaining to it at all. Hinayaan ko lang siya na yakapin ako and he seems happy about it.

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The next day...

Nandito ako ngayon sa kwarto ko at kasalukuyang nakatitig ngayon sa dalawang panyo na nasa harap ko. These are the two handkerchieves that Ivan and Nixon gave to me. I think this is the best time to choose between the two of them. Ayoko nang magkaroon pa ng further confusions. At ayoko nang maging komplikado pa ang lahat para sa aming tatlo.

Agad kong kinuha ang isang panyo at iniwan ang isa sa drawer ko. Nagdecide ako na ibalik ito sa kaniya ngayon at para kausapin na din siya na itigil na ang panliligaw sa akin. This handkerchief will be the symbol that I'm rejecting him, since ang hirap sabihin ng straightforward sa kaniya that I'm rejecting him already. After all his efforts that he did for me, alam kong hindi magiging maganda ang kakalabasan nito. That's why I need to end this, and return his handkerchief.

Nang makalabas ako ng mansyon ay naglakad ako patungo sa lake. He was sitting there habang binabato ang ilang pebbles sa lake. Napabuntong hininga naman ako at napahawak ng mahigpit sa panyo na hawak ko. This is it, Victoria. You can do this. Just explain to him the reason why you're not choosing him.

Nang mapansin niya ako ay agad siyang napatayo sa kinauupuan niya at nakangiti akong sinalubong.

"Victoria!" Tawag niya. Napatitig ako sa kaniya nang makalapit siya ng tuluyan sa akin.

"Come, let's sit over there." Sabi niya at dinala ako sa sinet up niyang picnic blanket na may ilang pagkain. Hindi ko alam pero parang bigla akong nagkaroon ng tinik sa lalamunan habang pinapanood ko siyang iprepare ang pagkain na hinanda niya para sa akin.

"Ivan..." Tawag ko pero sa sobrang hina yata ng boses ko ay hindi niya napansin.

"Victoria, I want to talk to you about the endless maze. Matagal ko nang gustong iexplain sa iyo. The thing is, my father ordered me to do it. I refused his order at first, but he threatened me that he will kill you kaya napilitan akong gawin iyon. I'm very sorry for lying to you. I have no choice that time." Sabi niya. Natahimik naman ako at hinintay muna siyang magpatuloy ulit sa pagsasalita.

"I'm very worried for you that time. Sobra akong nilamon ng konsensya ko. Sabi ko, if ever na may mangyari sa iyong masama that time ay habang buhay kong sisisihin ang sarili ko."

"I know I lied to you back then, I know I broke your trust and you feel disappointed. But can I get your permission? Can you give me another chance to show how much I care about you? Handa akong talikuran ang pamilya ko for you, Victoria. Just please say yes." Sabi niya saka hinawakan ang kamay ko. Napaiwas naman ako ng tingin sa kaniya. How should I say that I'm choosing Nixon over him? How should I reject him after he confessed? Bigla akong nalungkot for Ivan, pero ayoko nang paasahin pa siya sa wala.

"I-Ivan...I-I'm sorry." Nauutal kong sabi saka dahan-dahang bumitaw sa kamay niya. Tila natigilan naman si Ivan for a few seconds. Pero nagulat na lang ako nang bigla niyang ilapit ang mukha niya sa akin na aambang halikan ako pero agad ko siyang naitulak.

"Ivan! What do you think you're doing?!" Sigaw ko at napatayo.

"You're choosing him over me, so atleast let me hurt him a little." Sabi niya at umismid. Doon ko lang napagtanto kung bakit niya ginawa iyon nang makita ko si Nixon na nagmamadaling maglakad palayo sa amin. Hindi na ako nakapagsalita agad at saka binigay na sa kaniya ang panyo niya.

"Why can't it be me, Victoria? I met you first." Sabi niya.

"I'm really sorry, Ivan. But I'm choosing him," sabi ko at agad nang tumakbo para habulin si Nixon.

Fvck it, Nixon! Bakit pa ngayon lumabas ang pagiging kabute mo? Argh!

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Chapter 41 will be released at 1am. 👌