Hongjoong felt he'd finally cooled off, setting his headphones down. Sometimes when he'd get annoyed with the members he would just walk out of practice and lock himself in the studio. It helped him calm down when he worked on his music.

He never wanted to blow up on anyone so he always chose to avoid conflict if he could. It didn't mean there weren't many tears and fucks shared with the walls of his little studio, but at least he could yell at the walls and not his friends.

He knew when he got worked up he never knew what would come out of his mouth, and often found it regretful. So he'd rather just walk away.

Which is why he had hidden away after practice. He was the first to leave the room.

He had been looking forward to this day ever since they got the call, and Seonghwa messed him up. His early count caused not only Hongjoong to come in a beat late, but Mingi as well, causing a noticable issue when the drums were off for two measures. They'd practiced their count-offs for months together, it wasn't like he could've forgotten. It had to have been on purpose.

But it made him look like an idiot in front of JYP. The person he was supposed to be impressing.

And when he saw JYP walk over to talk to Seonghwa with a smile on his face, Hongjoong couldn't take it. He had to get out of there before he blew up on someone.

Now that he felt a little better, he figured he should probably have a conversation with Seonghwa. It wasn't fair of him to mess everything up. And he had to have a reason.

Hongjoong placed his guitar in its case and shut down his computer. Once he had his bags set, he slung them over his shoulder and exited the studio, making his way back to the dorms.

As he walked, he started to feel his anger rising. But he took deep breaths and pushed it down. He needed to at least hear Seonghwa out. He owed him that much.

As he reached the door he reminded himself of his promise to Seonghwa. He had asked for space. Asked for time. Asked for patience. And he'd promised him that. It was getting pretty hard to keep that promise but he intended to do that. Just as his hand reached the handle he heard the door behind him creak open, just a little.

He turned to see a teary-eyed San poking his head out. His heart fell.

"Hey hyung...can...can I talk to you?"

Hongjoong didn't even look back at his door as he nodded and walked over to San, stepping inside the room and shutting the door.

He turned to San who immediately wrapped his arms around him, pressing his damp cheeks into Hongjoong's soft black turtleneck. Hongjoong was surprised at the sudden movement but immediately placed a hand on San's back, rubbing it softly.

"Hey, it's okay. Remember, you can tell me anything."

San pulled away, looking into Hongjoong's eyes and nodding. He moved to the bedside and sat on the edge. Hongjoong joined him.

"I'm sure you read the rules for JYP," San said looking at his feet.

Hongjoong knew what he was referring to.

"The dating ban."

"Yeah."

They sat in silence as Hongjoong waited for San to continue. After a moment, he decided to prompt him.

"So, what did you think about it?"

"I thought it was unreasonable. I told him I didn't think we should stay here. That it wasn't worth it. Because we've tried sneaking around and it didn't work. We almost lost each other last time."

A tear rolled down San's cheek and Hongjoong wiped it with his sleeve. He then placed his hand on San's on the bed, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles.

"But Wooyoung disagreed," Hongjoong whispered.

"Yeah."

"So...what did you do?"

San bit his lip, his eyes welling up.

"I told him to leave. I told him I'd rather break up than go through that again. I don't know why I said it—I mean, maybe I meant it—but I don't know! And then he grabbed his clothes and left. He hasn't talked to me since..."

San was practically sobbing and Hongjoong couldn't figure out how to make him feel any better. He'd been in Wooyoung's place just the other night. But he knew it was different for them. They'd been dating in secret for years. They knew how it worked better than anyone else. So he had no words.

Instead, he pulled San to him and held him as he let it all out. But he couldn't let go of San's words.

Would that happen to him and Seonghwa? He'd always thought they were so strong but lately...things had been pretty strained. And he knew what he was getting into, he knew that Seonghwa had his rough edges. But was it the new setting, the new rules that were causing the tension between them? Or...had it been there all along?

He shook his head. He couldn't think about himself right now. San was in pain. And he hadn't been there last time. So he needed to be here for him now.

"Hey, it's not your fault, okay? I know you didn't mean to say what you said, but that doesn't mean Wooyoung had to leave. He chose to walk away. You didn't make him."

"I practically screamed at him until he did though...it would be pretty hard to want to stay."

"San..."

"I know. He said some pretty shitty things, too. But that doesn't mean I'm not shitty, too."

"You're just looking out for yourself. There's nothing shitty about that."

Hongjoong was starting to understand Seonghwa's points, the more he listened. He knew Seonghwa said he'd changed his mind but maybe he'd been right in the first place. Maybe he'd had his own head too far up his ass to listen.

He was so convinced JYP was the best opportunity for them but everything felt so hostile. He felt like his every word was being monitored, his every move. It felt like JYP wasn't telling him everything. He knew he was just an artist under his company but it felt like JYP was doing things behind his back. Like he didn't trust him. And he didn't like that feeling.

So maybe this place wasn't as great as he'd thought. Maybe the dating ban...wasn't worth it.

But he wasn't sure how to talk to Seonghwa about it. After all, if Seonghwa hadn't been interrupted by Minho, Hongjoong might have stormed away just like Wooyoung.

"I think you two need to talk, more than you and I. I want to help but I think it's really between you two. I know he doesn't want to talk to you right now but—"

"He doesn't even want to look at me!" San choked, his tears starting again.

"I know! I know—so I'll talk with him and try to convince him. Okay? I don't like seeing you hurting so much—either of you."

San sat up, nodding at Hongjoong. He wiped the streaks of tears from his cheeks.

"Okay. Thank you, hyung. Although...I think Seonghwa hyung is already talking to him. I was going to talk to Seonghwa before but...he felt bad for Woo so I let him go to him instead."

Hongjoong had forgotten his anger but it was starting to resurface.

"He just tossed you aside!?" he snapped, standing up. San immediately shook his head.

"No! It's okay, hyung—I just waited for you!"

"But I was gone for almost two hours! He never came to check on you??"

"Well...no, but—it's okay! I understand that he and Woo have a closer relationship..."

"He's your leader as much as he's Wooyoung's! He can't ignore you just because he's known you for less time!"

"Hyung—it's not a big deal, are you sure you two are okay? What happened between you? You'd never get this worked up about a small thing—"

"It's not a small thing, San. He left you alone. He left you to hurt all by yourself."

San didn't answer, not sure he could calm him down at this point.

"I'm going to talk to him."

Hongjoong moved towards the door and San decided to give one last attempt to ease the situation.

"Hyung—please just promise not to blame him for this. I messed up first. He just tried his best to help. I'm not mad at him."

Hongjoong looked back and his eyes softened just a bit. He nodded but still marched out the door to his room.