Frank

I found an excess of sheet on my bed and held it tightly in my hand. My body shook intensely as I fought a losing battle against pain. It felt like there was someone else inside me, hitting my chest with a baseball bat and pushing on my wrists, like it's reminding me it's there. A shaky finger came into view and I pressed it to the inside of my lip. It came back coated in blood. I was trying so hard not to be heard by anyone.

I thought maybe I could help myself. I've done too much relying on everyone else to help me get better. I reached my arm out to the table. Nearly knocking the pill canister off the tray, I closed my fingers around it and swallowed some.

It started to calm me down, but still had me in a frenzy of shakes and panics. I hadn't even looked at how much I'd taken. I hadn't even meant to...but I think I did it.

There was no one here. No doctors in sight. No nurses roaming the halls. The closest person was at the front desk.

I picked up my phone and dialed Rose's number. Then I got this terrible feeling in my chest. It was three in the morning. She's sleeping.

"Hello?" she answered.

I couldn't say a word. I hung up quickly. She's already been hurt by me today. She doesn't need to hear about me more. I'll be able to find someone here who can help.

I pulled my legs over the side of my bed and lifted my head. It spun in circles and filled with dark spots. My fingers were now not only shaky but tingly and numb. My legs ached with every step I tried to take. Still, I pushed on. I pushed on for Rose.

I made it out of the room, continuing forward with tremendous effort. The corridors were dark, lit only by emergency lighting. It was three in the morning. I didn't expect anyone to be awake.

I grab the wall and listen to myself wheeze and cough. I'm hardly moving at all and it's still putting me out of breath. I close my eyes tightly and swallow, moving slowly past another door.

Halfway there. A few more turns and I would be at the front desk, where someone would be able to help me. I know I need help now, but I can't get it.

My head starts spinning and I lose grip. My body slumps against the wall and slides to the ground. I'm useless now. I could very well die for this right here, right now.

I thought about Rose and how much I loved her. I was only here for her. Gerard would be able to move on. He's got people who would help him. Rose wouldn't be so easy to leave. I've been friends with her as long as I could remember. If I left, she wouldn't be able to move on or be happy ever again.

My eyes grew heavy and I felt like I was going to pass out...or die. If I lose conscious, this might be the death of me. I start to feel sick to my stomach. My vision blurs in and out and I begin to forget where I am. My ears ring intensely and that's all I can hear.

Faint footsteps echo softly in my ears and I don't have the energy to move. Two human figures combine into one person. I must've been hallucinating. Before I knew it, Rose kneeling was over me, tears streaming down her cheeks.

She was trying to talk to me, but I couldn't hear her over the ringing. She grabbed my hand and kissed it. I couldn't feel a thing. I felt my eyes start to close and strained to keep myself awake.

Rose turned her head and shouted for help. A minute later, a team of medics were running down the hall with a roller. They lifted me up onto it and back into my room.

They poked and prodded me with a lot of things. My whole body numbed and stood still. I wasn't in control of anything except breathing, which I wasn't very good at.

They began shoving a tube down my throat. They were going to pump the medication out of me. I watched the lines of the heart monitor go crazy and cut out and random intervals.

For an hour, they pumped relentlessly. As soon as they has finished and exited, Rose was back in the room. I broke down and she held me close in my bed. I clung to her for life and slowly cried myself back to sleep.