I wake up minutes later. Beads of sweat form on my forehead and my face is white as a ghost. Bryan looks at me worried. My mom just rolls her eyes.
"I bet he's a nice boy. Just see what he wants."
She leaves and I take deep breaths. This really doesn't help with my anxiety.
"She doesn't know?"
"No." I get more worried by thinking about the stuff my mom doesn't know. My anxiety, the truth about Billy, the fact that I cut. Even Bryan doesn't know all of it. Bryan squeezes my hand as we walk downstairs. I see Billy waiting at the front door and I suddenly become tense.
"Em it's gonna be okay."
I nod, but I'm not convinced. Billy smirks as I approach him.
"Hello Bryan. Emily." He winks at me and I become angry.
"What do you want now Billy?"
"Can I talk to you in private Emily?"
I glance at Bryan who's now frowning. Nervously, I nod my head. Bryan reluctantly turns around and goes into the kitchen.
"What do you want to tell me Billy?"
I glare at him and he actually looks nervous. Like, nervous nervous. He's never nervous. So now Im kinda scared.
"Um, well, oh jeez this is hard."
"Spit it out."
"Did you ever like me?" He says then winces. I'm taken aback and blink.
"Um as in like like you? Or as a friend."
"Like like?"
"Well, no. You've been mean to me since we first met in 6th grade."
He stares sadly at the ground then looks at me.
"Why do you want to know?"
"Because I liked you! That's why I was mean! I was to embarrassed to like someone as pretty and nice as you!"
I blush. I am to stunned to speak.
"Then why now? Why do you tell me now?"
"Well, in 8th grade, when I knew for a fact that you hated me, I gave up. But I continued being mean to you because you hurt my feelings for not liking me back. But now that Bryan is your boyfriend and everything, I got jealous." He blushes and frowns.
"Billy, all you had to do was be nice. Then I might actually have said yes to you asking me out. But now it's to late. I might be able to forgive you, but I'll never date you. Bryan and I are together now. I don't think that will end very soon."
He steps closer to me and I frown.
"What are you doing?"
I don't get to finish because he kisses me. How lips are soft but bitter just like his attitude. I kiss back only out of pity. He breaks apart and looks into my eyes. Only now do I realize that his eyes are a beautiful green. Like, a sea green. I snap out of it and push him away. Tears spring into my eyes. Billy looks at me and tried to wipe them away but I slap his hand.
"I think you should go now."
"But--"
"Billy! Go."
I frown and he sulks out of my house. Bryan comes back to me and looks at me. He frowns and asks the question I was hoping he never would ask.
"Why did you kiss him?"
"Bryan, he kissed me first. I only kissed him back out of pity!"
"Why did he kiss you?"
"Apparently he liked me."
He nods knowingly, but he still looks upset.
"Look, I'll make it up to you. Tomorrow, 5:00. Meet me at Melanie's for a milkshake. I'll pay."
I kiss his nose and smile waiting for him to answer.
"Fine. Can you walk? I want to drive you somewhere."
"Sure. Can I ride my bike?"
"Yeah. Should fit."
"Cool. See you tomorrow."
He kissed my forehead and leaves. I go upstairs and continue reading my book until dinner time.