Everything. He expected everything but not Feng Xin. Feng Xin in a dark blue checked suit with a matching hat with two white cards attached. His pants were black on one side and the other half lined in light green and black. His brown boots were almost shiny clean. A red check pattern was painted under his right eye. Feng Xin only wore a gold earring on the left side that had the cross of a card on the end. By and large, Feng Xin actually looked active, but that wasn't important at all right now. What was he doing here?! Mu Qing turned pale and looked at him in surprise, and Feng Xin also seemed surprised when he saw Mu Qing. Feng Xin opened his mouth to say something when Mu Qing quickly interfered. 

,,Alice. Alice is my name", said Mu Qing quickly. 

He wanted to get out of here quickly. Since everyone thought he was Alice anyway and didn't know him, he should introduce himself as the real protagonist of this Wonderland story. Eventually he remembered that Feng Xin was also just a character he knew from the book by Alice in Wonderland. Besides, he had to get out of here as quickly as possible. This wonderland bothered him more than it should. Or at least to see Feng Xin as a mad hatter who used to be Mu Qing's favorite character. He liked the creative way, even if he would never admit it. Why did Feng Xin have to be the mad hatter!? Even if it was wonderland, it was still a thing for him that he couldn't get right to. Mu Qing quickly recovered. He mustn't forget that this is Wonderland and that he is Alice. So he has to go on normally. Find a way to get out of here. If he's lucky, he doesn't have to go to the Queen of Hearts.

,,I heard from the caterpillar that I had to find you to find my way back into my world. I was told that you knew the way out of Wonderland", said Mu Qing quickly. 

First Xie Lian the white rabbit and now Feng Xin as the mad hatter. Once Mu Qing is out of here, he will never again be able to look Feng Xin and Xie Lian in the eye without thinking about it. Feng Xin frowned briefly before clearing his throat. 

,,I see, so you're Alice", he said. 

Suddenly Yizhen got up and ran to Mu Qing, took his hands in his. 

,,Join our tea party!", He exclaimed excitedly. 

Before Mu Qing could even say anything, he was pulling Mu Qing to the table. Feng Xin then picked up a teapot, which was also conspicuously decorated, and grabbed a cup that looked like a water lily. Feng Xin poured the tea with incredible elegance and skill as he moved to Mu Qing. Mu Qing didn't know what was going on when Yizhen sat him on a chair with a twist and pushed him to the table. Less than two seconds later, Feng Xin put the tea on the table and added two cookies. Mu Qing looked down at the steaming tea in surprise. Yin Yu woke up tired without looking at the others, he got up, took a knife and cut something from the cake that was on the table. He cut some of the strawberry cake, put it on the plate, and pushed it over to Mu Qing. There were lots of goodies on the table, various cakes, lots of biscuits and muffins, all of which were incredibly cute or noticeably decorated. 

The tablecloth was beautifully cut. The cups were all beautiful and unique. By and large, it was generally very elegant and yet insane. The music that was playing was happy music that almost invited him to be here. Mu Qing looked down at the cake again, the strawberry cake looked delicious. Especially the red strawberry on top of the cream, next to it with a rose made of icing. His gaze slid briefly to the golden fork that lay next to it. 

,,Hit. It's delicious!", Yizhen laughed with a happy expression. 

Has he always been so happy? But Mu Qing didn't ask. Yizhen grabbed a muffin himself and started to eat it. He really enjoyed it. His gaze slid again to Feng Xin who poured another cup of tea and pushed it to Yin Yu, who accepted it without further ado. Mu Qing didn't know why, but Mu Qing was somehow not surprised that Yin Yu played the sleeping mouse in the story. His gaze slid again to the cake, which he hesitantly took a bite out of. He was surprised how good it really tasted. Feng Xin watched Mu Qing closely while he ignored the looks. So the Mad Hatter, thought Mu Qing and carefully put the cup into it his hand. 

Carefully he brought the tea to his lips, he enjoyed the warmth that spreads in his chest as he took the first sip. It was a fruit tea that Mu Qing had actually enjoyed as a child when he no I was in Xian Le, which made him smile briefly. Mu Qing looked up and their eyes met. For a brief moment, Mu Qing felt the warmth in his chest again. Or maybe it was the tea. Obsidian black eyes met honey gold eyes. Like night and day.

Feng Xin turned his head to one side when he noticed that Mu Qing was staring back at him. Mu Qing didn't feel like starting an argument with Feng Xin in this world, so he just kept drinking his tea. 

,,I tell you these delicacies you rarely get to eat!", Yizhen smiled proudly and sat down next to Yin Yu, who ignored him. 

Somehow, both were still as he remembered. The music was on, the sun shone through the thick canopy of leaves. Yin Yu continued to ignore his Shidi while he talked excitedly with him and didn't even begin to notice how much he was annoying. But maybe he just wanted his Shixiong's attention after longing for so long. Feng Xin also seemed to be enjoying the crazy party before his gaze fell on Mu Qing, where he smiled slightly. Mu Qing didn't know how to react, so he only looked at the cake. He said nothing, but looks said a lot. When Yin Yu sighed at some point, he picked up his fork and put a piece of cake in Yinzhen's mouth. Immediately this was quiet and could be fed well. Mu Qing sighed, then turned his gaze back to Feng Xin. Both exchanged glances again before Feng Xin raised the teapot. After a few seconds, Mu Qing understood and then held out his cup, whereupon Feng Xin poured another tea.

Even if Mu Qing didn't know how If he should act, this little tea party was really as crazy as the book said. Yizhen partied excitedly, started a discussion with Feng Xin. It didn't seem like they were arguing, more like they were even having fun. Yin Yu sat next to it and rested his head sleepily on the table. Mu Qing actually enjoyed it somehow. The cake tasted good, the tea was delicious, and Feng Xin was bearable. Every now and then, Mu Qing and Feng Xin exchanged looks. But not really worth mentioning. Mu Qing watched the whole thing for a while before he put the cup down. He really had to go slowly. If he wants to get out of this wonderland, he has to go again. 

,,Say mad hatter", Mu Qing begins slowly, Feng Xin paid him his attention. 

Feng Xin looked at him, who was about to take a sip of his tea. His glowing honey brown eyes met intense obsidian black eyes. Both paused briefly before Mu Qing continued speaking quickly. 

,,I want to go back. I want to go back to my real world. I was told that you know the way to lead me out of this wonderland. Or if you can tell me the way to find a certain white rabbit. Since the white rabbit I'm looking for apparently also knows how to get out of here", Mu Qing continued.

 Feng Xin frowned briefly, seemed to be thinking before he hesitantly nodded.

,,I actually know where he is The exit is, strangely enough. In addition, a white rabbit came by here earlier and had a cup of tea with us. Did you mean him?", he asked curiously. 

Mu Qing rolled his eyes. 

,,A white rabbit who was in a great hurry! That's exactly what I'm looking for! But if you also know the way, could you lead me out of here? ", Mu Qing chopped on, whose mood went down a bit. 

Feng Xin nod. 

,,Then I know who you mean."

After all, he really wanted to get out of here. He didn't know why, but can't look at Feng Xin's face without getting mixed feelings. His golden eyes stared at Mu Qing for a while before he straightened up and poured Mu Qing a cup of tea again. 

,,I know the way, but why should I help you?", Feng Xin asked and put the tea under Mu Qing's nose again. Mu Qing was about to respond sharply, but Feng Xin was quicker. 

,,Drink up the tea, it will do you good", he said, which made Mu Qing frown. 

He had just drunk tea. But he didn't question and took another sip. Immediately, Mu Qing felt calmer. Surprised, he then looked up at Feng Xin, who just smiled awkwardly at him before Mu Qing sighed and sipped some more tea. It was strange, really strange looking at Feng Xin without being scared of being yelled at. Bit like he was getting nicer Being Mu Qing because he didn't see Mu Qing as Mu Qing, but as someone else. But this thought that he might not see Mu Qing as Mu Qing because this world was probably just a dream, somehow hurt him inside in real life, Feng Xin would never be so nice to him. After all, Feng Xin hated him with all his heart. After all, Mu Qing was just a headache to him. Right, this Feng Xin was not the Feng Xin he saw every day. He was just one Illusion, a stupid wish dream about Feng Xin. As if Feng Xin would ever really like him or see him as a friend. 

After all, he was Mu Qing. His grip on his cup tightened a little. Feng Xin seemed to notice and gently touched Mu Qing's hand. If they were in their world, Mu Qing would hiss at him or hit him to leave his fingers with him, but it wasn't his world, so he allowed this gentle touch. Perhaps inwardly he also longed a little for Feng Xin's touch and attention, which he would never get. Attention and concern that he never received. Mu Qing bit his lip briefly, when old feelings came up he should have buried a long time ago. Damn how he hated it. He hated it when he weakened again and the feelings he held back all these years and buried themselves again and again. 

,,Are you okay?", Feng Xin asked worriedly and released Mu Qing's firm grip from the cup. 

Surprised, Mu Qing looked up, their eyes met again. Now Mu Qing noticed how close Feng Xin really was to him. He was to him so close that their lips could almost touch. Mu Qing blushed and backed away a little. 

,,Y-Yes! Of course! I'm fine", said Mu Qing quickly and turned his head to one side. 

Feng Xin was surprised at this reaction. Feng Xin put the cup on the table. Mu Qing has never really been so close to Feng Xin when he leaned forward. After all, it was Feng Xin, or rather a man who looked like him, but acted differently. Mu Qing was too confused to understand.

,,Sorry Alice, but I think your dress is torn", Feng Xin said and looked at Mu Qing's legs. 

Mu Qing looked down in amazement and noticed that his dress was really torn on the side. But when was the crack even there? He didn't even notice!  Usually he noticed everything right away. Especially when it comes to his clothes, how could he not notice for so long !? Was he really that deep in thought ?! Actually, it should really worry him that his attention would go down. Usually he was much more observant.

He hadn't even noticed that there was a crack. Mu Qing immediately blushed and quickly pulled the white apron a little over it. The crack almost went up his hip, exposing almost his entire leg. Ashamed, Mu Qing tried to cover it up somehow. Feng Xin noticed how awkward Mu Qing was and started laughing. Angry, but at the same time ashamed, he looked at Feng Xin, who then apologized shortly afterwards for laughing, so he bent down to Mu Qing again.

Mu Qing couldn't even complain properly. Feng Xin laughed heartily. His laugh didn't sound like he was laughing at anyone either, more like he thought something was cute. Mu Qing was too busy covering the crack to focus on Feng Xin laugh. Yin Yu and Yizhen just looked back and forth between the two of them in amazement, but said nothing more. Feng Xin gradually calmed down.

,,Let me help you", he said and held out his hand to Mu Qing. 

Reluctantly, Mu Qing looked at the hand before accepting it. Feng Xin helped Mu Qing up and then pulled him into the crazy house. The house looked strangely built, as if no one had paid any attention to the physics. From the house there were many different small towers, colorful and on top of that it looked as if they hadn't paid any attention to saving creativity. The house had a striking paintwork. It was mostly a light blue, but on one side it was checked, on the other side it looked like a chessboard had been pressed onto it. The windows were sometimes round, sometimes huge, and sometimes they looked strangely shaped. It was just crazy. However, Mu Qing Feng Xin continued to follow suit. Yizhen and Yin Yu stayed behind at the table, being more or less in their own world anyway. Yizhen let himself be fed again. 

So not really important. Mu Qing looked down and saw this metal grille coming out of the air. Surprised, Mu Qing clawed at his dress and tried to push it down when the wind blew high. Even if it didn't take long, it felt like forever. Feng Xin held onto his hat in amusement. 

,,Why do you have something like that?", Mu Qing asked a little indignantly. 

,,Well, when you come out of the forest and bring some leaves with you, they fly away", explained Feng Xin with a shrug and then ran on. 

Mu Qing looked around the house, a little confused. The house was already recognizable from the outside: crazy. The tiles were careers, in some places there were carpets and in others not. The kitchen looked like a paint bomb had been smashed, somehow the cupboards were wildly painted with colors, teacups and teapots were piled up and filled with shelves. Mu Qing carefully followed Feng Xin. Frightened, Mu Qing jumped aside when something whistled next to him, then he saw a hatch that opened briefly and wind came out of it. This time, Mu Qing didn't ask what it was for. This house didn't seem to have many doors as all the rooms are more or less connected. But what he noticed right away was that there were lots of scraps of cloth lying around all over the house. In some places hats could still be found, each individual hat was differently creative. You can almost say the hat that Feng Xin is wearing is still the most normal. Feng Xin ran into a room which Mu Qing rhymed as his workshop. 

There were designs everywhere, scraps of fabric, gan, needles and many other things. The papers lay wildly on the floor. Feng Xin himself went through all these things without any effort and neither stepped on nor had the problem of getting through, while Mu Qing followed Feng Xin with the greatest caution. Feng Xin seemed to know what he was doing. He made his way without knocking anything over. While Mu Qing followed awkwardly. The house was far too untidy for his liking. He didn't want to step on anything or break anything. When he stood next to Feng Xin, he already had a needle and blue gan at hand. He turned to smile at Mu Qing. 

,,Do you want to take off the dress or do you want to keep it on? If you take it off, you can even take a quick bath in the next room while I fix it. If you leave it on you just have to be patient", explained Feng Xin and put the thread through the hole of the needle. 

Mu Qing thought for a moment.

,,I'll take the bath offer." 

As if Feng Xin expected the answer, he smiled. Briefly, Feng Xin took a tape measure and briefly measured Mu Qing's height. Again, Mu Qing got the feeling that they were so close that they could almost kiss again. Feng Xin fixed his eyes on Mu Qing for a moment, her breath brushed briefly before Feng Xin turned away a little. Mu Qing didn't try to back down suddenly. Only now did Mu Qing notice that he was still a bit shorter than Feng Xin despite his throat heel. Not much, but it was smaller. That reminded him again that Feng Xin was really a bit wider and taller than Mu Qing. Besides Feng Xin, he had always seemed more fragile. More fragile, thinner and strangely small in appearance.

 Or maybe it was just a feeling from Mu Qing himself. But none of that was important. It was never important what Mu Qing really felt, so what should. Feng Xin walked out of the room briefly while Mu Qing watched him go. He wondered briefly what he was up to, but when Feng Xin came back and was holding a black dress in his hand, what he was holding out to Mu Qing, he understood. He had been looking for something to change. 

,,How?", Mu Qing asked with a frown. 

Feng Xin shrugged his shoulders. 

,,I try out a lot, I also try to sew clothes because there are many here who love clothes, so I had one that was about yours size", explained Feng Xin, and led Mu Qing's into the bathroom. 

The bathroom was strangely cleaner than expected. Even if Mu Qing had to get used to. Feng Xin pointed to a partition. 

,,You can undress behind it, I'll let you water in", said Feng Xin. 

Mu Qing nodded his thanks before disappearing behind the partition, he looked briefly at Feng Xin, who let him in the water. His heart beat a little faster and he cursed himself for his weakness. Why was he still so stupid and couldn't hold back these feelings? Feelings that crept up into him and gnawed at him more and more. He really wanted to kill himself and choke the feelings into him Should have been buried a long time ago. When Mu Qing took off his blue dress, he handed it to Feng Xin, who took it without looking secretly and then walked out of the room. Mu Qing took off the other clothes and then padded carefully to her As he sat carefully in, he sighed softly. The warm water was really just good. Only now did Mu Qing notice how tense he really was. His body just felt like it had come from the war . He hadn't noticed that he was so tense all day. Whereby he had lost track of time. 

There was probably no real time in Wonderland. Mu Qing stared at the water, then pulled his legs up. He thought about everything in silence. When they were younger, Mu Qing had feelings for Feng Xin. Always looking for him with his eyes. But Feng Xin never looked at him like that. He never has. He had never looked at Mu Qing with the eyes he would have liked. All his love and attention, all his tenderness got a woman who left him, even if she did it to love him. She got everything he wanted so badly. Mu Qing felt hot tears roll down his cheeks. He quickly wiped it away and splashed the water on his face. In no case should he think about it again! He should stop it! That not important anymore. 

All of this belongs to the past. He quickly wiped the tears from his eyes. Why did these thoughts have to come up right now !? Bloody hell! Mu Qing quickly finished bathing. He quickly got dressed again. He didn't allow any more thoughts that somehow went in that direction. While he was getting dressed, noticed that there was still a dark blue bow on the dress. It was smaller than the blue one Mu Qing wore before, was also darker, but had silver decorations on the sides. He hesitated for a moment before using the ribbon that Feng Xin gave him. It went better with the dress. Mu Qing briefly looked at himself again in the mirror, as if noticing how good the dress looked. Or rather, he looked good. He was still wearing the same shoes and white overknees. The black dress looked like a blouse up to the waist, had long sleeves, this dress was puffed up towards the middle of the waist. 

At the ends it looked like a chess board with the chess pieces and symbols on it. Mu Qing looked at himself in the mirror for a while in silence. Turned his head left and right briefly before briefly wondering if a certain someone would think he was pretty too. As he left the room, he saw Feng Xin sitting at the table. A bright lamp illuminated him. Feng Xin didn't notice Mu Qing, so he quietly crept up and looked over Feng Xin's shoulder. He was examining Mu Qing's blue dress. It was finished sewed, it looked so neatly sewn that you didn't notice that it was torn. Mu Qing never thought that Feng Xin could sew so well. 

Was it because maybe he wasn't Feng Xin at all? He seemed to be concentrating on making a mistake somewhere while sewing. When Mu Qing leaned down to Feng Xin, he noticed him. Surprised, he turned to Mu Qing. 

,,Are yo ---", before he could continue talking, he stopped breathing. 

Neither of them said anything. Feng Xin's eyes roamed over Mu Qing's body while he swallowed unobtrusively. Mu Qing felt a little uncomfortable to be looked at like that. Even if Feng Xin looked at him closely. Mu Qing didn't look bad, on the contrary, he looked incredibly good, but he didn't know if Feng Xin thought that too. He looked Mu Qing up and down before he quickly turned away. Mu Qing looked at him confused when he got up quickly. 

,,Y-Your dress is ready", he said quickly and hugged the dress to Mu Qing's chest. 

Mu Qing nodded his thanks and looked at the dress. He sewed this incredibly well. Feng Xin cleared his throat briefly. Actually, he was really surprised that Feng Xin sews so well. Almost as good as himself. Feng Xin looked away. Mu Qing didn't know if he was imagining it, but thought he was fascinated by Feng Xin's eyes for a moment.

,,It's late ... so stay the night here. We'll be on our way tomorrow", explained Feng Xin, looking to the side while pulling his hat over his face as if trying to avoid looking at Mu Qing. 

The room wasn't well lit, so Mu Qing wasn't safe was whether Feng Xin was red or not. Mu Qing thought for a moment and looked outside. It was really already dark. 

,,OK. I'm staying here today", said Mu Qing then and went to Feng Xin, who looked at him briefly before going back to another room, also indicating that Mu Qing should follow him, which he did. Feng Xin opened a door What astonished Mu Qing. 

There really is something like a door in this house! This door was checked in purple and white. The knob looked so crooked that it couldn't be grasped properly. Feng Xin opened the door as soon as he entered the room, It lit up brightly. Mu Qing's eyes widened. This room was messy, but somehow it looked inviting and comfortable. There were lots of cushions in all kinds of shapes, colors, and sizes. Various fabrics hung on the ceilings. The bed It was a huge four-poster bed. It had a lot of pillows, the fabric cloak was a bit transparent, but not so transparent that you could see everything. A large closet, you had a desk. All the furniture was generally beautifully decorated. The colors were mixed up crazy. Checkered, lined or dotted, you can find everything here. Mu Qing didn't know what to say. 

How could something seem so crazy, messy and yet so inviting, comfortable and welcoming at the same time? Feng Xin leaned against the door frame and watched with an amused smile as Mu Qing took a closer look at the room. Mu Qing was most fascinated by the huge window that filled from the ceiling to one side of the wall. If you were lying in bed, you can look straight up and watch a beautiful starry sky. Mu Qing was intrigued. He put the blue dress aside and quickly took off his shoes, crawled on the bed and threw himself on his back and looked at the starry sky. He was immediately fascinated. The bed was incredibly soft and comfortable. The bed sank briefly and next to Mu Qing was Feng Xin, who also lay down and looked at him with a gentle smile. Mu Qing looked at him briefly before quickly looking up at the starry sky again. 

,,You can see him better when it's dark", smiled Feng Xin, he flicked and all the lights suddenly went out. 

Only the bright starry sky was visible. Feng Xin paid no attention to the starry sky, he had turned to Mu Qing and looked at him. In Mu Qing's eyes he could see the starry sky reflected. The mesmerized expression of Mu Qing was beautiful. Mu Qing's inky black hair spread out on the bed was beautiful. He looked at Mu Qing with a smile. He was really beautiful. Mu Qing noticed the intense gaze and averted his eyes from the sky and saw shining golden eyes directly in Feng Xin. Both were silent for a moment before Feng Xin noticed something reflected in Mu Qing's eyes. An expression that Feng Xin didn't understand directly, but somehow there was something in his eyes that some call longing. As if Feng Xin would trigger something in Mu Qing. 

They just looked each other in the eye for a while before Mu Qing turned his face back to the sky. With a fascinated expression he stared at the sky as if he wished to be part of it. Feng Xin could see the sky reflected in Mu Qing's eyes. The beautiful starry sky, which was reflected in Mu Qing's obsidian black, was more beautiful than anything else he had ever seen. The fascinated look, the eyes full of longing. His gaze wandered over Mu Qing's black hair, which was spread out. It was ink black and looked like a sea of ​​silk in the dark. Feng Xin hardly looked at the stars. For that moment the most beautiful star was right next to him. 

,,Are you longing for someone?", Feng Xin then asked him, which surprised Mu Qing and made him stare. 

,,Why did you think so?", Mu Qing then asked confused. 

,,Well, you just look like you're getting lost in your thoughts and thinking of someone, after all, you're staring longingly into the sky," Feng Xin explained his way of thinking. Mu Qing was silent again.

It also looked a bit as if he was looking at him in pain at the same time. As if he remembers something. Feng Xin asked worriedly. Mu Qing winced at the question. Did he notice that? Mu Qing could turn around again and avoid the question as usual. 

,,Why do you ask?", Asked Mu Qing with a question. 

,,Because you look like you miss someone", he said, which gave Mu Qing the rest. 

His throat went dry, he suddenly felt empty, and then the feelings came over him. All the feelings he tried to It was Feng Xin lying next to him. But then he remembered that it was not Feng Xin. At least not the Feng Xin who hated him all these years. After all, the Feng Xin he knew would never voluntarily lying in the same bed with him now. Staring at him and asking how he is. That all of this would otherwise only be a dream. The happiness of getting his attention will forever remain a dream. Mu Qing's heart contracted before he did took a deep breath. 

,,You remind me of someone", Mu Qing then said softly. 

Feng Xin was now puzzled and curious and lay down properly to listen to him better. 

,,You look very much like him. Almost identical", continued Mu Qing. 

In the end it didn't matter whether this Feng Xin knew it or not. This wonderland was just a dream that Mu Qing will soon wake up from. Or he just finds his way out of here. After that everything will be as before. Arguing with Feng Xin, getting upset about Xie Lian's husband. Going about his everyday life. All that. So what should. Perhaps he will now feel a little more secure to tell everything. Tearing down the wall, entrusting it to someone . Who had the same face as Feng Xin of all people. Feng Xin listened carefully. His golden ones still had the same shine that Mu Qing loved about him. A glow like the sun. No matter how often Mu Qing wanted to be looked at like a friend who cared about a good friend, he never got that look. After all, he was Mu Qing. 

,,The person you look like is annoying", said Mu Qing with a roll of his eyes. 

Feng Xin just frowned at that. 

,,Always escapes loudly, always laughs loudly and can't even use his brain properly!" 

Mu Qing rolled his eyes again, just thinking about how annoying Feng Xin was, he just wanted to hit him again. 

,,He always has to argue with me, get upset about things. Like a Treudoofer dog, loyal", said Mu Qing with a shake of his head.

,,He's incredibly loyal. He's friendly. Even if he always doesn't really get it right, he is always there when the going gets tough. He is someone who sacrifices his life for others, that's what I admire about him", continued Mu Qing. 

Feng Xin kept listening, even if it was strange for Mu Qing to tell Feng Xin about himself, Mu Qing didn't care now. 

,,When we were younger I began to have feelings for him. I admit, I wasn't always friendly, insulted him with annoying comments, I sought his attention. I didn't know how to get there as I was just a simple boy of low status. Everyone hated me. Why should he be different?"

At this statement, Mu Qing felt his heart grow heavy. Feng Xin did not interrupt him, looked at him with an indefinable look.

,,I always secretly wished at night that he would maybe one day would also look at me with tenderness. That he would tell me that I am important to him somewhere. But I've never heard those words. I don't even know what he sees me. We both have the same good friend. But neither of the two have ever seen me as a friend, even if I always wished I would ", Mu Qing quieter. 

Feng Xin looked at him in surprise, wanted to say something, but then fell silent again and continued to listen to Mu Qing. As if he wanted to know more. 

,,The boy I always liked never looked at me the way I wished. Then came a woman in his life", Mu Qing broke off. His heart hurt. His chest contracted.

,,This woman got all the attention, tenderness and happiness. She was literally showered by him. He showed her sides, that I was never allowed to get to know", Mu Qing felt tears welling up in his eyes. 

It hurt a lot. Again he had to realize that despite all the years he still loved this idiot. He loved him. But he just wanted to bury these feelings again, suppress them and lock them up. 

,,She was really incredibly lucky. As an outsider, I could only watch. I would have been happy if he'd just look at me without having to yell at me", he sighed. 

He couldn't look Feng Xin in the eyes. 

,,This woman got everything I dreamed of", Mu Qing laughed bitterly. 

,,If someone had asked me whether I liked him or the like, I always answered bitterly that I didn't like him. I have myself always hated, was dissatisfied with myself, always wondered if I was good enough for someone at all. In the end it didn't matter now. After all these years he will come back to the woman he loved. He will be determined also take good care of the child he didn't know about, but that's the way he is, a loyal man who showered the person he loves with love, while I can only see in silence and feel the pain softly on mine Heart gnaws until it breaks", Mu Qing had to laugh hoarse, the tears caught in his eyes and threatened to fall. 

But none of that mattered now. Feng Xin would never love him no matter what he did. He never would. After all, he was Mu Qing, his long-time rival up front. A person he hated, a person he always assumed the worst from. He wasn't even good enough to serve Xie Lian, why should he ever be good enough? Even if it didn't do anything to shake his whole heart out with someone who wore Feng Xin's face, had the same bright eyes. Even if he was feeling a little better, it didn't change the fact that he felt even more miserable. All these years he had suppressed it, let no one look behind his closed hearts and now he was telling everything to a man who wasn't even Feng Xin himself. 

,,Did you love him?", He asked carefully. 

He also sounded very dry, as if he didn't know what to say about it either. 

,,If only it were loved, it would be more bearable", Mu Qing sighed in short, he twisted his lips in a painful smile. 

,,If it were in the past, everything would be easier", it was just a whisper. 

Feng Xin's eyes widened. The smile that Mu Qing wore on his lips was beautiful and at the same time it felt like thousands of knife wounds now ramming his chest. Reluctantly, he took Mu Qing in his arms. 

,,What are you doing there?", Mu Qing asked confused as he was pulled into the embrace. 

,,You look like you want to be hugged", Feng Xin whispered softly. 

Mu Qing's eyes widened, he clung to Feng Xin in confusion, but said nothing. That's true, it's Wonderland. Only miracles happen here Mu Qing smiled bitterly again, even if it was just a dream. It's beautiful. 

,,You really have to love him", Feng Xin muttered softly. Mu Qing listened up. 

Then Mu Qing softly mumbled something incomprehensible. 

,,Even if I did, it doesn't matter now. In the end, I can't wish for things that I never owned He doesn't love me and that's the bitter relationship that I have to come to terms with", said Mu Qing, who took a short deep breath and quickly blinked away the tears. 

Feng Xin briefly ran his thumb over Mu Qing's eye to wipe away the tears. 

,,Do not Cry. Pretty people don't stand tears", Mu Qing could cry for this sentence alone, but it wasn't Feng Xin who said it to him, just a man who looked like him and was now just with him. 

A dream! Of course! Why should He was nice to someone like Mu Qing !? Mu Qing silently looked at him while he smiled at him. There was a strange silence between the two of them, but somehow not uncomfortable. Mu Qing snuggled a little more into Feng Xin's arms while slowly taking the Eyes closed. He didn't know why, but the feeling of what Feng Xin was giving him right now was enough for Mu Qing. Maybe it was really just a dream, but then a beautiful dream. Mu Qing saw Feng Xin's golden eyes that weren't They were really close. Sometimes no fighting, just tenderness. Mu Qing didn't know that. Mu Qing could hear Feng Xin's heart beating. It was a nice feeling to hear the heart of the person you love beating. In addition, Feng X was in incredibly warm and cozy. He really envied Jian Liang for getting all this love. Even now he knew deep down that Feng Xin would return to her. 

That's what Feng Xin is like. Loyal and conscientious. Someone who would help her without hesitation. Not just because they had a kid together who just looked terrible. Mu Qing really wondered if the child was really Feng Xin child. It was definitely the ugliest being that Mu Qing had ever seen in his life. Both parents were beauties, how could something like that come out then! Mu Qing just couldn't understand that, or maybe he didn't have to. Mu Qing was slowly getting tired. Feng Xin gently stroked Mu Qing's head, gently pulling him closer by the waist. Mu Qing automatically wrapped his arms around Feng Xin a little more tightly, holding him tightly as if he were afraid that it would work, as if he were afraid that Feng Xin would disappear at any moment and never return. Although he has never been by Mu Qing's side. 

,,Get some sleep, you'll need it", he whispered in Mu Qing's ear. 

Mu Qing felt the blood rush to his cheeks, but said nothing. Instead, he wondered when was the last time he had been treated so tenderly. When was the last time like this? He really wondered if it hadn't been too long. The only person who Mu Qing was 100% sure he was loved was by his mother, who died. After that he had no one. He will never forget how alone he felt back then. Especially when he longed for love, he felt so terribly alone at the time. Even after all these years, even though Feng Xin wasn't exactly by his side, Feng Xin was still there. He just looked at Mu Qing with hatred eyes. Already funny to lie in the arms of the man Mu Qing had longed for for so long. Tried to crush the feelings. 

Tried to withdraw and flee. Mu Qing clutched Feng Xin's clothes. Feng Xin stroked Mu Qing's head, who was so gentle, making Mu Qing's heart so soft that he himself could melt. Carefully he pulled Mu Qing a little closer, in the meantime Mu Qing's head was resting on Feng Xin's chest so that he could hear his heart beating. He pressed his face a little more into Feng Xin's chest and inhaled his scent. He smelled good. Feng Xin asked carefully and stroked Mu Qing's back. He only nodded in response. He didn't have the strength to answer anything. Even if that's only for the moment, he really enjoyed it. When If it were up to Mu Qing, this moment should never end. The tiredness came over him, his heart hurt and at the same time was filled with joy. 

,,Thank you", Mu Qing whispered quietly before slowly falling asleep. 

It was so quiet that Feng Xin almost didn't hear it. But Feng Xin heard it. A slight smile formed on his lips as he looked at the sleeping Mu Qing at his side. While Mu Qing slept, Feng Xin stared at the curled up beauty beside him. 

Mu Qing was really beautiful. In the black dress, Mu Qing's pale skin made it look like porcelain. Pink lips that seduced you into wanting to kiss them, trying them out and caressing them. Long, full, black eyelashes that emphasized his eyes. The inky black hair spread across the bed that felt like silk. It also smelled incredibly good, like a fragrant rose. His body also looked incredibly fragile in Feng Xin arms, as if moving too much would crush him instantly. 

,,So Alice," Feng Xin mumbled softly. 

He brushed a strand behind Mu Qing's ear and looked at the beauty in his arms. Mu Qing had always been beautiful, but now that the moon illuminated his pale skin, his black hair shimmered under the light, he looked like a moon goddess. A moon goddess who just fell asleep. Feng Xin smiled slightly and looked at the sleeping face. Mu Qing looked so innocent when he slept. He carefully pulled the covers over the two of them. He gently ran his thumb over Mu Qing's lips before twisting his into a smile. Carefully he bent down to Mu Qing and breathed a kiss on his lips. 

,,Welcome to Wonderland, my Alice", he whispered softly against Mu Qing's lips.