Gov: First day can't be that bad, right?
Florida: Guess what I just did :D
Gov: Ah fuck! What the fuck?!

Gov: Did I have a mental breakdown last night and decide today's the day I run away and start a new life gone girl style?
Gov: Am I on my way to work or am I on my way to british columbiAAAAAAAAAA-
Gov, to Texas later: no, I'm a pussy

Gov: [humming Stayin' alive]
Gov: Well you can tell by the way I've lost my shit I'm spiraling
Gov: I wanna take a nap
Gov: Musically my thoughts out loud I mean I'm scared mom pick me up please
Gov: and well it's alright, it's not okay, I'm losin' my miNDDDDDDD-

Florida: my roommates left me alone for two hours and that was two hours too long because now I have blonde hair
Florida: this is a psa
Florida: do not leave me alone
Florida: I will have a mental breakdown
Florida: aaaa

Texas: [sniffling] guys- I just found out
Texas: both my dads are gay

Washington: Y'all be like no nut november but I be like
Washington: no nut ever
Washington: Because I have a peanut allergy

Florida & New York: [accidentally graze hands]
Florida, slowing down: I think I'm catching feelings

Louisiana: [trying to sleep]
Florida, breaking in to convince him to chaos: Wake up you sexy bitch it's time to sin

Washington: [uses the straighten tool with his apple pencil]
Louisiana, when it fixes the shape: [gasp]
Louisiana: could I borrow that?
Washington: Huh? Yeah, sure.
Louisiana: [runs up to Florida and taps him with the pen] 
Louisiana: You're straight now
Florida: Whoa...

Texas: You're ugly
California: I know
Texas: Wait, what? You weren't supposed to agree with me- are you okay?
California: No
Texas: Oh
California: I'm depressed
Texas: Oh sorry

Mass: [play fighting with Connecticut]
Connecticut: [flinches]
Mass: Woah, what the fack? Is someone hurting you?!
Connecticut: Yes..
Mass: Who?!
Connecticut: You, bitch
Mass: Oh yeah

California: I'm an edgelord I don't cry

Arizona, to the chat: [holds a gecko over a fan] Huh?! You gonna tell me how to save 15% or you gonna be quiet? Huh? Huh?
Florida: geico been really quiet since he sent that

 Kingsley: Dad, what's an orgasm
Utah: [shock]
Jaxon: That's when you fold paper into birds, dumbass
Kingsley: That's oregano, bitch

Florida: Ah, a traveler
Florida: Well, I am the troll, the troll of this bridge
Florida: and if you wish to pass you must listen to this
Florida: I have a riddle you must solve on this day and if you are wise you may go on your way
Florida: so answer me this with a yay or a nay
Florida: dost thine mother know your gay

Florida: [watching a video]
The video: My parents paid for me to go to any school I wanted
Florida: So? My parents don't love me
Florida: ha, beat that

Florida: I saw on the internet TikTok's stealing all our information
Florida: Unfortunately 
Florida: but
Florida: Look at this gorgeous filter
Florida: this beautiful frame, it's gold, it's pretty
Florida: And I'm- I'm gonna- fine, take all my info

Utah: Hey, I'd love to talk to you about our prayer group down the street-
California: Hey, honey, can you come here for a minute?
Texas: Yeah, what's up babe?
Texas: Oh hi
Utah: 
Utah: yeah, we're gay friendly
California: Damn

Louisiana, watching Florida and New York: dude...
California: just make your move my guy-
Louisiana: Just fucking hold his hand, he likes you
[Florida leans on New York]
California: oh my god look-
Louisiana: aw- they're leaning on each other-
[New York kisses Florida]
Louisiana & California: [screaming]

Florida: Somebody told me... that nonbinary people don't exist
Florida: but I found this thing in my closet
Virginia: I like bread

Delaware: If you don't stop I'm calling your dad
Florida, after being admitted to the union: What's that? Who's he?

Gov: So I just went to the kitchen
Gov: Thought I'd make myself some coffee
Gov: Y'know, good way to really get goin' with the day
Gov: pressed go on the little coffee maker and forgot one little thing
Gov: [gestures to the puddle of coffee] the cup- the cup that you put the coffee in

Florida: Look, I'm just gonna.... be myself
Old DC: Florida, no one wants that
Florida: dude...

New York: today I've been told I need to manage my anger
New York: Well I'm sorry CALI, I wouldn't have to manage my anger if people could manage their stupidity! 

Old DC, at three am: If you came here to kill me clap your hands
Florida, on top of the fridge: [kicks some boxes over]
Old DC: 
Old DC: Well that wasn't clapping that was more like-
Florida: [throws a cup down so it shatters]
Old DC: OKAY- I'M SORRY

Florida, making a TikTok: So in general- oh he's texting me [beams] 
Florida: fuck-!

Florida, about New York: My boy's been busy recently so I've been texting him a little less 'cause I don't wanna be needy and clingy
Florida: I am needy and clingy, but he doesn't need to know that
Florida: but this morning he texts me, "am I annoying you? I'm sorry, am I texting you too much?"
Florida: and I was like "no! I was trying not to annoy you!"and he was like "well I was trying not to annoy you!" 
Florida: so we've both been texting each other less because we didn't want to annoy the other
Florida: he's so cute!

New York: No, go ahead, go ahead go ahead. What's marriage? 
Florida: mutual simping

Louisiana: Your two best friends think it's good for you
Florida: Wait, you guys are my friends?
New York, walking in: Bitch! I'm your wife-

California, walking in: If you're gonna call me bi you better put phobic after it because I hate my fuckin self
California: [walks into the wall trying to leave]

Spain: You should try liking more masculine things
Florida: ok
Florida: [marries New York] Does that count? 
Spain: 👁👄👁

Connecticut was the knife child

Gov: What are you two...?
Old DC: [visibly confused]
Florida: iT'S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD
Florida: SWING SNAP ROCK-

Florida, getting sick: Can I come into the out now?
New York, locking the door: no, you cannot come into the out now
Florida: but I can, you just have to take away the piece of wood

California: it takes the average person about 15-20 minutes to fall asleep
Old DC, holding a pan: ayo you wanna see some real speed bitch

Florida, trying to draw: the name game! Judy!
Florida: [stops to listen to sad songs because he thinks New York deserves better] 
Florida, going back to drawing: Banana fanna fo Fudy

Ace New York, trying to test the waters with Florida: Are you fighting the urge to make out with me right now? 
Florida: [chewing his food] Not really, I'm really into this pizza though- ah they burnt my fucking cookies
Florida: assholes

New York: [scrolling through his phone and holding a stuffed duck]
Florida, who wants attention: [puts on a duck onesie]
New York, seeing him: [opens his arms excitedly]
Florida: :D

New York: Did you dye your hair again?
Florida: ah- no, very much I did not [trying to hide the hair dye] what are you talking about?
Florida: not me, wrong bitch

California: and I'm not throwin away my shot-
California: Everybody say-
Florida: Oh oh oh riLEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY 
New York, from the couch: OH RILEY
Florida: AUTO PARTS

Florida, texting New York at 2 in the morning: So I was just eating these gummies and uh
Florida: [sends a picture to show it's melatonin] 
Florida: I might not fucking wake up tomorrow

Florida: Do people think I just like realize it when they're using me?
Florida: Like, you're not being clever, I fully understand your intentions
Florida: I'm just allowing it because I have no self respect and a constant need for attention

Gov: [calmly talking in a meeting]
Florida: [stands up] NONE OF THIS IS REAL [does a backflip and sits back down]
Gov: [goes back to calmly talking]

Old DC: Sorry for not responding to your text
Old DC: I suddenly got really 
Old DC: ✨Anxious✨
Old DC: for no ✨reason✨

California: If you ever get stabbed, DON'T pull out the knife, it's keeping the blood from flowing out faster
Florida: But if you stab someone take the knife and RUN
Old DC: There are two types of people in this world

Connecticut: God, York won't shut the fuck up about you
Florida, beaming: He talks about me?

Florida: Yo, I don't know where I'm going, I need directions
Gov: Oh! Sure, you're gonna head west two miles-
Florida: whoa, what the hell
Gov: What?
Florida: West?! dO I LOOK LIKE LEWIS AND CLARK-
Gov: No, it's just, I-
Florida: I don't know where west is!
Gov: Oh, sorry-
Florida: I barely know the way to my own kitchen, you think I know the compass letters?!
Gov: Okay, sorry.
Florida: Now give me good directions
Gov: Okay! Just take a right then drive straight for two miles and then you're gonna-
Florida: Son of a bitch! 
Gov: What?!
Florida: I'll crash this car right now if you keep playing me!
Gov: Those were perfectly normal directions!
Florida: Two miles?! dO I LOOK LIKE A MEASURING TAPE?!
Gov: No, it's just-
Florida: What is two miles?!
Gov: I think that's pretty standard when it comes to directions-
Florida: Were you dropped on your head as a baby or were you born stupid?!
Gov: I'm the government, I wasn't born-
Florida: Shut up, I hate you!
Gov: Okay, sorry!
Florida: Now give me directions I can follow!
Gov: Drive down Lancaster and take a right on Old eagle-
Florida: Do you-
Gov: Oh my god-
Florida: expect me to know road names?!
Gov: I mean, yeah, kinda!
Florida: I will break you
Gov: Turn left at Target and right at McDonald's
Florida: Thank you!

Louisiana: Florida- Florida- why are you wearing clown makeup?
Florida: I don't know

Florida: [gets out of a moving car] oh this was a mistake

New York: keep driving straight, that's all you gotta do
California: I'm not very good at the whole straight thing
New York: Cali that's- NOT RIGHT NOW-

Florida, in minecraft: [chasing and taming animals]
Florida: [collecting flowers and tree saplings]
New York: [following him trying to kill like 90 mobs so Florida doesn't die]

Florida & New York: [shooting arrows at the enderdragon]
Washington: [crying and being attacked by like forty enderman]

Florida: [singing] Drink me some bleach bois and yeet my soul, I wanna get tossed in a fricken hole, it's free real estate
Florida: It's free real estate
The other states: [concern]
New York, from the floor: Hoo!

Florida: I'm not gay
Louisiana: Fucking bullshit
California: Fucking bullshit
New York, his boyfriend: Fucking bullshit

New York: Yeah I'm great in bed I've been here for 12 hours

Florida: Some people can facetime me randomly, others cannot. know your role.

Florida, on the floor: I just stepped on a lego
Florida: my entire body is in searing pain I can hardly breath and I think I might go into cardiac arrest
Florida: I feel like a fish out of water breathing is very hard right now
Florida: Why would someone put a lego on the floor that doesn't make any sense
Florida: I was innocently trying to walk down the stairs to ask DC if we were having lasagna or ravioli
Florida: But instead got violently assaulted by this sneaky son of gun and here I lie like a wounded gazelle unable to move

New York: Florida? Where have you been?
Florida: I'm in the cabinet
New York:
New York: Can you get out?
Florida: No

Florida: I'll have a diet coke
New York: He wants a chocolate milkshake
Florida: [gay panic]

Florida: We should be nicer to people so we can make more friends
Louisiana: [disappointment]
Florida: nah, I'm just kidding

Florida: Ask me if I'm a truck
Louisiana: Are you a truck?
Florida: [honk]

Florida: Baristas wearing a mask
Florida: Call that a coughy filter
Florida: [walks into a wall]

New York: I was a sprinkles guy when I was younger, with ice cream, so I appreciate this
Florida: Yeah, you look like a sprinkles guy
New York: The fuck's that s'posed to mean?
Florida, about to cry: I'm just saying you look like a sprinkles guy

[five hours into playing monopoly]
Spain: do this and then you're straight
Florida, without thinking about it: no I'm not
Spain: 👁👄👁

New York has a mini heart attack whenever Florida climbs a counter to reach something

Florida and New York as the "wish I were heather" at the same time as "I want you not heather" sound

Florida's a lot sweeter/lot more cuddly when drunk

One of those aus where you can see how many times a person has smiled and New York's is at 0 when he enrolls in the school
and Florida starts talking to him on the first day only to be ignored
Anytime he can he'll walk over and start talking to New York
The first time New York smiles is when Florida makes some shitty space pun durning their lunch period and the counter gradually increases

Florida walks out one day and runs up to New York and people expect New York to yell at him or something but he wraps an arm around Florida and kisses his cheek and listens to him ramble witht he biggest smile on his face

New York and Florida have the same vibes as those TikTok audios where it's like:

Florida, jokingly flirting with New York: Heyyy
New York, flirting back: heyyy
Florida, panicking: nah nah honey I'm good-

New York, trying to be sweet: She put my name with yellow hearts
Florida, not getting the hint and accidently rejecting him: AND EITHER SONIC IS A GOD
New York, being more obvious to see if he gets it: her favorite color like the stars
Florida, still not getting it: OR COULD KILL GOD
New York, not realizing he still doesn't get it and trying again: I didn't listen very hard
Florida, still on his bs: AND I DO NOT CARE IF THERE IS A DIFFERENCE
New York: she told me she was crazy from the start

Florida and New York dancing to This magic moment